Chapter 45
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Vanessa woke before Jordan, an anomaly in itself.
For a long moment, she was caught off guard by how peaceful he looked.
Sleep softened his sharp edges. His eyelashes brushed his cheeks.
His lips parted with each steady breath.
A glimmer of drool clung to the corner of his mouth, and she bit back a smile.
He looked…free. Like all the monsters previously holding him hostage had finally been banished. Maybe she’d helped with that a bit.
What they’d shared last night was infinitely more intimate than anything she’d ever experienced before. It hadn’t satisfied her only on a physical level. It shifted something inside her. Something life-altering. A few short weeks ago, she’d known exactly what she wanted, but now…
She had dreams that stretched across the world. Her career was calling her back. She knew which runways she wanted to walk, which magazine covers she wanted to be featured on. There were bigger dreams too, like being the face of a global campaign, maybe one day starting her own brand. And yet…
This man—this wounded, guarded, fiercely tender man—was making her want things she’d never dared to imagine. Things with roots. With him.
Was this what it had been like for her parents? How it was for Lucy and Joel? Was this normal?
With a final glance, she slipped out of bed, pulled on her leggings and one of her new sweaters, then padded out to the living room, where she fed Nigel, before she headed out onto the back porch.
The morning wind was refreshing, the salt air filling her lungs and soothing her mind. The view was endless. Haystack Rock stood solid, while the mist hovered over the ocean in the far distance. The fact that she’d fallen head over heels for this place wasn’t helping her current state of mind.
Some yoga might be exactly what she needed.
Thirty minutes later, she was sitting in siddhasana, focusing on the steady crash of the waves, when the back door creaked open behind her.
A few seconds later, the rich scent of coffee threaded through the salty breeze.
Beside her, the air shifted, and clothing rustled before a warm body brushed hers.
She smiled, cracking one eye open as Jordan offered her a cup.
How a man of this size moved so agilely was still a mystery to her. Maybe it was the martial arts. She’d always found it a graceful sport. Almost like a violent ballet. Also, why was she only now realizing she’d never seen Jordan fight? It was probably sexy as hell.
He sat cross-legged, staring at the ocean, sipping occasionally from his cup.
Silence stretched between them, but it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable.
Another thing she cherished with him—the comfortable silences.
She’d never known them before, and God knew there was no such thing as silence, comfortable or otherwise, in the Barone family.
When their mugs were nearly empty, he said, “We should probably hit the road before noon. There’s a lot to do if you want to be in New York by tomorrow.”
She shouldn’t have been surprised. Time at the beach house had blurred the hours, days, and weeks.
The show at The Link seemed like a lifetime ago, and the Cassidy Moore event?
She’d been calling it “a couple of days away” for what seemed like forever.
Without her phone and the constant notifications, time had slipped through her fingers.
But Jordan appeared to have everything under control. While she’d been napping, cuddling Nigel, and doing porch yoga, she knew he’d been diligently planning.
“You’ll fly on the Morgan jet.” When she gave him an impressed look, he smirked. “I’ve provided security on the jet several times now. Having you fly on a commercial airline, even first class, leaves too many variables out of my control.”
Of course. Sometimes she forgot he was her brother-in-law’s hired security.
He rattled off a few more rules regarding her “safety” on this trip, and she zoned in and out, already missing his relaxed aura from the bedroom.
“Vanessa,” he said sharply, forcing her back to the present. “I need you to take this seriously.”
She whipped her head toward him, hair catching in the wind and fluttering around her.
“Is that what you think? That I’m not taking this seriously?
Someone has been following me and invading my privacy for months.
He could’ve physically hurt me or even killed me several times over by now.
I think I’m taking this pretty fucking seriously. ”
To prove it, she got up in one fluid movement. “Give me twenty minutes to shower, pack, and clean up after Nigel. Then we can leave.”
There was no more talking after that, but the silence became less comfortable. More weighted with the apprehension of all the things yet to come. She needed her phone back, needed to call her agent and fine-tune details.
Jordan was preoccupied too, in full alpha bodyguard mode. Every so often, he’d step outside to make a hushed phone call, before returning to do his final checks before locking up.
As she quietly packed her things, questions filled her head. How long before he came back here? Would he ever bring her again? Would he want her to leave a spare set of clothes here? Would he miss her in bed when he came back alone?
Would he come back alone?
She didn’t like that train of thought, so she went to the living room in search of Nigel. She found Jordan, holding him in his carrier.
“Ready?” His stoic tone was like a rusted butter knife to her heart.
So she did what she did best and plastered a smile on her face.
“Yep, let’s go.” She turned on her heel and headed out the door before he could see the tears invading her eyes. She didn’t stop for one last look, didn’t ask if they could take one last selfie on the porch. Instead, she simply walked out, as if she weren’t leaving her heart behind.
The ride back to Portland seemed quicker than the ride to Cannon Beach.
All too soon, she was trudging up the steps to the apartments with Jordan trailing her.
Giving Nigel back to a jet-lagged and rumpled Ivy and Sean was worse than she thought.
Ripping the Band-Aid off quickly, she avoided conversation and handed him over before her tears flooded the hallway.
Jordan cleared his throat as she hurried to her door and fished her key out of her pocket. The key he’d given her hung heavy around her neck. She couldn’t bring herself to take it off, even though he wouldn’t be across the hall anymore. Knowing it was there made her feel safer.
She gave him a wary side-eye, not in the mood for small talk. She wanted a bath, a bed, and a good old-fashioned sob into her pillow.
“What’s up, Zeus? You seem…” She gave him a once-over. “Twitchy.”
“Natalie’s in your apartment.”
She froze. “Why?”
“Because I asked her to stay with you tonight.” To his credit, he didn’t avert his gaze. In fact, he rolled his shoulders back, standing taller. Facing the guillotine with his head held high.
“Why don’t you stay with me tonight?” She’d foolishly assumed that was the only option.
He ran his hand over his short, clipped hair. “There’s a lot to sort out for the next few days. Putting in security at an event we have no control over is going to be tricky, especially at short notice. There are logistics I’m still working on.”
“Logistics,” she echoed. Right, back to being a job now. Got it. “Well, you hop to it then. And I’ll go have a slumber party with Nat.” She turned to the door, but he caught her by the wrist.
With her back to him, she waited, shoulders tense, fighting the urge to turn around. Seconds ticked by, everything she wanted him to say hanging in the silence.
Then his grip loosened, and he stepped away. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day.”
Tears burned as she wrenched the door open and stumbled inside the apartment, desperate to escape. She needed Nigel, but in his absence she pressed her shaking hand to her heart, as if the pressure could hold it together.
“Okay, spill.” Natalie waltzed toward her with a smirk. “Are we talking cucumber-sized or eggplant-sized?” Her smile froze when her gaze met Vanessa’s. She rushed forward. “Oh fuck. What did he do?”
That was the thing. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d been wonderful. Protective. Put her first, every time.
But he hadn’t even offered to come in, never mind stay the night.
And with no words for the ache in her chest, she collapsed into her cousin’s arms and sobbed.