Chapter Eleven
Shadows of leaves danced between the strips of light on the ceiling from the window blinds.
Kash had no idea what time it was, but he knew he had slept much later than usual.
His muscles ached from the massive workout Ledger had put him through the entire night.
Between being in the sun all day yesterday and the way he had serviced Ledger last night, he had fallen asleep in total exhaustion.
Kash stretched. He knew Ledger wasn’t there without looking.
There was an emptiness to the room only Ledger’s presence could fill.
Kash rolled out of the bed and padded to the bathroom.
He rushed through the usual morning pee and teeth brushing.
Kash found a discarded pair of pajama pants and went in search of Ledger.
A bright smile lit his face when he saw Ledger sitting at the kitchen island with his entire recording setup.
For whatever reason, Ledger always slipped away to do these videos, like it embarrassed him to have an audience.
He looked sexy in nothing but shorts and an apron.
Ledger spoke softly and held up various vegetables and kitchen utensils.
Kash couldn’t take it. He sneaked across the room and then pounced.
Kash snagged Ledger’s jaw and tilted his head back, cutting off his words with a scorching kiss.
He pulled away and brushed noses with Ledger. “There’s the love of my life.”
Ledger blinked, looking stunned. “I love you too. Um, I’m on live.”
It took a second for the words to penetrate before the horror set in.
“Fuck.” His shock wouldn’t abate. No way would he have done that on purpose.
“I’m sorry.” The apology came from his soul.
He didn’t know if this would go straight to Valon.
Most likely. Kash would never have chosen for Valon to find out this way. He quickly backed out of camera view.
Still wearing his open shock, Ledger’s gaze slid back to the phone clipped to a ring light. He cleared his throat. “Sorry about that. That’s about all for my lesson today. Thank you all for hanging out with me. Until next time.” Ledger killed the feed and stared into space.
“Holy shit, Ledge. I never would’ve done that had I known. Will this get straight back to Valon? What can I do? How can I fix this?”
Ledger cleared his throat. While still visibly reeling, Ledger focused on him. “It’s fine. I’ll call Valon. It’s time we talked anyway. I don’t want him to think I’m hiding things from him. For real, I don’t know what to say, though. I don’t know how he’ll react.”
Kash was furious with himself. He felt like he had betrayed Ledger, taking away Ledger’s right to handle things his way. Kash swiped his hand over his eyes and paced away. “Fuck! I’m so… ugh. You deserved better from me.”
Ledger stood and wrapped his arms around Kash, stopping his crash out. “Today is no better or worse to do this. He’s always needed to be told.”
Ledger didn’t understand. Kash knew this was the end of them. He knew as soon as Valon snapped, Ledger would walk away from them.
The pain was nearly his undoing. He held Ledger’s stare.
Kash knew Ledger had to see his heart breaking.
“I’m not ready. When I woke up, all I could think about was finding you so I could touch you again.
There’s no way I could’ve known it would be my last time.
I’m not ready,” he repeated. That was one point he couldn’t drive home hard enough.
He didn’t know how to lose Ledger, but he would.
Ledger’s expression and voice became comforting.
“Stop. Valon is a grown man with his own life. I’m allowed to have one of those too, and you’re it.
You’re the life I want. When I say I love you, I mean it.
I can’t let you go. We just—” Ledger’s phone rang, cutting him off.
He glanced toward the device, looking resigned.
Kash took a step back. “Not answering will only make it worse.”
With a nod, Ledger headed for the phone. He stared at the face as he removed it from the ring light. “I don’t recognize the number, but he might be calling from anywhere.” Ledger didn’t hesitate. He looked determined. Thankfully, he answered on speaker so Kash wasn’t left out.
“Hello?”
“You slimy son of a bitch. How could you do this to our son?”
Ledger pinched the spot between his eyes. “So much for you not knowing my number.”
“Really? That’s what you have to say right now.”
This entire conversation was rich as hell, considering Ry had already gotten his ass handed to him over trying to fuck Kash. Now he had the nerve to lecture Ledger.
“Does Valon even know? Don’t answer that. I know he doesn’t. Don’t worry. I’ll fix that.” The phone call disconnected before either of them could speak.
Ledger tossed him a defeated look.
Kash didn’t know what to do, but he knew Ledger couldn’t let Ry get to Valon first. “Call him. Don’t let Ry make things seem worse than they are—like you’re a liar or something. He could spin shit any way he wants. Get to Valon first.”
Ringing came through the speaker before the words finished falling from Kash’s lips, proving they were on the same page. Ledger was already calling Valon. It rang several times before going to voicemail. “Yo. You know what to do?”
Ledger didn’t hesitate. “I don’t know if any rumors have reached you yet, but please call me. Ry has already called here, making threats. Please don’t let him twist things. Call me.” He hit end and covered his face with both hands.
Kash stood by feeling helpless.
Ledger dropped his hands and looked up, blinking at the ceiling like trying to get himself under control.
Kash couldn’t take it. “Tell me what to do. I’ll do anything.”
When Ledger looked his way, he looked defeated. “There’s nothing to do. All we can do is wait.” Ledger’s gaze moved to the phone. He bit the side of thumbnail.
In this, Kash had no patience. He couldn’t sit back and wait to see if they were over.
Ledger said that wouldn’t happen, but there was one thing Ledger hadn’t considered.
Kash wouldn’t let Ledger choose him. He loved Ledger too much to be the reason Valon walked away.
Kash already knew Valon had no problem turning his back on anyone at any time.
Maybe he still answered when Ry called sometimes, but Kash didn’t doubt that man hadn’t seen Valon since the day he left.
He had easily walked away from years with Kash when Kash had always had his back.
As much as Kash couldn’t picture Valon never speaking to Ledger again, it might happen.
Kash moved to hold Ledger. He kissed Ledger’s forehead. “Go take a shower, baby. I’ll stand guard over your phone and rush it to the bathroom if Valon calls. Sitting here making yourself sick won’t help anything.”
Ledger nodded. “Okay. I guess I can’t choose to never shower again, waiting for a call that might not come.”
Kash kissed him again and nudged him toward their bedroom.
Ledger headed down the hall. It looked as if every one of his muscles were tensed.
Kash counted to twenty after Ledger went into the bedroom to grab Ledger’s phone.
Thankfully, this wasn’t the first time he had unlocked the device, except on those times Ledger had been there.
Kash didn’t feel guilty. This was an emergency.
He quickly found Valon’s location. He zoomed in to see the exact street Valon was on in Los Angeles.
As soon as he had it, Ledger flew into high gear.
He threw some clothes on, sneaked Ledger’s phone into the bathroom so he wouldn’t miss any calls and made some calls of his own.
He phoned in every favor he could. Kash had the resources to find an exact address at the drop of a hat.
To his absolute relief, a part-time guard showed up right on time to give Kash the day off.
Kash nodded at the guy. “Ledger is in the shower. When he comes out, tell him I had to run out for something, but I’ll be back later.”
The dark-haired guy—whose name Kash couldn’t even remember due to all the stress—nodded along. “No problem. Have a good day. I’ve got things under control.”
Kash knew he did. He would never leave Ledger with someone who couldn’t handle the job.
In record time, Kash was behind the wheel of Ledger’s SUV.
It took a little under three hours to drive from Santa Maria to L.A.
, and that was if traffic was light. He needed to break every speed limit. There was business to settle.
As Ledger stepped out of the shower, the first thing he saw was his phone.
That was odd. He checked the device. No missed calls or texts had come through while he showered.
Ledger dried off, overthinking everything except for why Kash had brought him the phone.
Kash probably had to use the restroom or something. No big deal.
Several times as he dressed, he paused and stared at nothing, making the chore take twice as long. As much as he searched his heart, Ledger couldn’t find an excuse for himself. All he could think about was who Valon was now and compare it to the issue. He had no idea how Valon would react.
If Ledger was an absolute piece of shit and let anything happen with Kash back when they got nothing but silence from Valon, things would be different.
Valon would and should have cut Ledger out of his life so fast, his head would still be spinning.
Now, it felt like everyone involved were different people.
No matter what, Ledger would never have chosen for Valon to find out this way. He couldn’t apologize enough for that.
While fidgeting with his phone, Ledger made his way to the kitchen. He would make some tea and calmly find something to do to busy his mind. Ledger had just taken a shower, but maybe he should work out to break the stress.
As he stepped into the kitchen, Ledger found Marc sitting at the island and playing on his phone.
The sight confused him for a second before he remembered today was officially one of Kash’s days off.
He really needed to let Steel know he only needed occasional security when Kash had something else to do.
That was another mark against him. Valon had been paying for his ex to sleep with Ledger.
Actually, he paid Steel, and Steel paid Kash.
Technicalities didn’t mean shit under the circumstances.
“Hey. I forgot you worked today. Have you seen Kash?”
Marc set his phone aside and focused on Ledger. He had Hawaiian blue eyes that were arresting. They kept people holding eye contact simply because they couldn’t look away. “Hey. Kash went out. He said to tell you he needed to grab something, and he’ll be back later.”
Ledger tried not to show any of the feelings he couldn’t control. Since he hadn’t wanted Kash to see how upset he really was, so he wouldn’t continue thinking they were over, his feelings couldn’t be hurt from being left without Kash’s support.
Instead, he shoved his phone in his back pocket and moved to the sink. He filled the kettle. “Would you like some tea?”
Marc chuckled. “It depends. Iced tea, yes. Hot tea, no. I know that’s weird, but there’s a difference, and it’s vast.”
The humor in Marc’s voice made Ledger smile despite the war raging inside him.
He spoke while he worked. “It’s not weird.
There is a difference. My son is the same way.
I’ll take tea however, but I got into the habit of only making iced tea, since I knew he’d be the one who drank the whole damn pitcher before anyone else got any. ”
Marc chuckled. “I’ve guarded a lot of powerful people but never anyone as famous as your son. What’s it like knowing you raised a rock star?”
Ledger glanced up, smiling. “I’m extremely proud of him.
It warms my entire soul to see him on stage with a full arena of people singing along with him.
I can’t even imagine how he feels standing up there.
All the years of musical training, just him and me traveling to various competitions.
Fame didn’t land on him. He earned it. But yeah, I watch him and think, ‘I made that.’ It leaves me in awe, really.
” Ledger’s throat swelled. He stared at nothing.
“I suppose Kash and I trained him to leave us.”
“Kash?”
Ledger shook his head slightly, shaking off the horrible memory of Valon stepping into fame and out of their lives.
“Yeah.” He tried not to get lost in his thoughts again.
He cleared his throat. “Yeah. We’ve known Kash for years.
Valon worked hard as hell to get where he is, but Kash and I pushed and shoved until he made it.
There were a lot of times he wanted to give up, especially since singing and dancing around in front of a crowd went totally against his personality.
He was sweet and extremely shy. Kash refused to let him cave because of that.
” A smile popped to his lips and fell again.
He absentmindedly got the kettle going while his mind put together a few pieces.
Kash had never let Valon shirk any type of duty.
He hadn’t let Valon leave Ledger behind back then when the fame first took hold.
Kash wouldn’t let Valon do it now either.
“Excuse me.” Ledger walked away, pulling his cellphone from his back pocket as he went.
He pulled up Kash’s name before shutting himself in the bedroom.
Ledger hit the call icon the moment he was alone.
He paced as his call went unanswered. Voicemail answered, and Ledger wanted to puke.
The only reason Kash wouldn’t answer was if he didn’t want to lie to Ledger about where he was.
Ledger ended the call and switched to checking the location of his SUV in comparison to Valon’s phone.
Valon was home in L.A., and Ledger’s SUV was directly on the path to him.
Ledger had thought there was no way this situation could get worse. He had been wrong.