Chapter Twelve #3
Kash’s heart couldn’t take it. He molded against Ledger’s back. His lips found Ledger’s neck. “Damn. It’s been hard not to crawl all over you today. I’ve wanted to kiss this spot for hours.”
Ledger reached over his head and held on to the back of Kash’s head as if he needed more and couldn’t let Kash get away. “I’m about to sound totally insane, okay?”
Kash heard the seriousness in Ledger’s tone and treated the conversation as such. “You can tell me anything. I’d never judge you.”
“The way I love you makes me wonder if I ever really loved Ry. It’s like you showed up at that concert and you woke up all these old feelings I hid in shame.
But more than that, every day since, you’ve brought me peace and happiness like I’ve never experienced.
” Ledger took an audible breath. It sounded shaky.
“When I look back on my life, I don’t feel this.
Only a sad desperation to hold a family together comes with those memories.
You’ve brought me to life, and there’s no chance I’ll get enough years with you. ”
The backs of Kash’s eyes burned at the genuine ache in Ledger’s voice.
He corralled Ledger into the shower. “Then I’ll find you in the next life.
” Kash kissed Ledger’s nape. “And then the one after that. You’re not escaping me.
” Kash ran his hand down Ledger’s torso.
When he reached Ledger’s cock, he stroked.
He licked the shell of Ledger’s ear. “I’m sorry no one has loved you properly.
But best believe I’m not going anywhere, and I fully intend to make every second of our forever as perfect as possible. ”
Ledger flattened his palms against the wall and pressed backward, tormenting Kash with his perfect ass.
Kash’s hand moved to Ledger’s chest, over Ledger’s heart. He savored the way it beat against his palm.
“I wish I knew what words to use to vocalize the way I feel.” Kash skimmed his lips against Ledger’s shoulder.
“You’ve always been the one person who understands me.
I never stood a chance against falling in love with you.
No one saw me at all until you did. You say no one has loved you like me.
I’m pretty certain no one has loved me at all except you.
” He knew his admission included Valon. That changed nothing.
He had said what he meant. Kash grabbed the lube and toyed with Ledger’s asshole until he had enough to ease his way.
When Ledger’s breathing changed, Kash urged Ledger’s hips back, bending Ledger to his liking.
They were getting married. Ledger had accepted his proposal, and Kash wouldn’t let him take it back.
Kash kissed Ledger’s spine as he pressed his way inside.
“I’m so goddamn in love with you. It’s like I can’t see anything else at all.
I’m desperate to spend the rest of my life making love to you.
” Kash thrust. “Holding your hand.” He pulled out and thrust again.
“Eating across from you.” Kash set the pace at Ledger’s first moan.
“Doing nothing at all with you is a million times better than doing anything at all.”
The experience was—oddly—the quietest lovemaking of his life.
It was like they were both so focused on every sensation, they couldn’t make a sound.
They stayed present for every second. Even as Ledger blew and sent Kash to heaven, Kash couldn’t do a single thing but try to keep breathing.
By the time he came down from the epic high, Ledger already worked at cleaning their bodies.
The way he scrubbed Kash’s body, getting bubbles and suds going and running down his skin, kept Kash hard.
That was a real problem. Now that Kash had Ledger, he couldn’t get enough.
They kissed as they washed. It was a devouring kiss like they equally couldn’t get close enough.
Like what they had was so big, there weren’t enough outlets.
“I love you.” The breathless-sounding proclamation hit the center of Kash’s heart. He couldn’t hear those words enough.
“I love you too.” That claim wasn’t strong enough to satiate the possessive beast inside Kash. But those were the only ones he had.
Ledger kissed his neck. “I guess we should get ready for bed.”
Kash hugged Ledger to his chest and squeezed. “Yeah. I guess so.”
They worked together to turn off the water while the other grabbed towels. With their towels wrapped around their waists, they brushed their teeth side by side.
“I’ll grab our pajama pants,” Ledger offered as he opened the bathroom door.
Their pants were folded and already waiting on the floor right outside the door.
There was also a lump in the center of bed.
After quickly closing the door, they rushed to get dressed.
Neither of them spoke. Kash had no clue how Ledger felt at the moment, but Kash’s head was all over the place.
Logically, he understood Valon knew about them, but it felt like a whole other thing for Valon to be right outside the door while they had shower sex.
They exchanged glances as if they shared the same thoughts.
With nothing left to do, they left the bathroom.
Ledger eased into bed next to Valon, obviously trying not to wake him.
Kash stood at the edge of the bed trying to decide what to do.
Maybe he should sleep somewhere else. This entire thing was a juggling act.
“Can I sleep with you guys?” Valon sounded groggy and barely awake.
Ledger kissed Valon’s forehead. “Of course.”
Kash eased into bed on Valon’s other side.
Despite feeling awkward, he was more worried than anything.
This was the closest to the old Valon as Kash had seen in years.
When they had met back in high school, Valon had been quiet and shy.
He was the type who needed protection. While Kash understood Valon had to be a completely different person now to sing in front of thousands of fans and always be in the spotlight, Valon needed a balance between the two.
But also, it kind of seemed like Valon still needed protection too. Kash would do what he could.
Valon snuggled closer to Ledger. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Ledger whispered the question. It was the smart choice since Valon still sounded half asleep.
“For leaving you all those gifts and making you believe you’re in more danger than you are. I didn’t know how else to get Kash here. He always shows up when people need him.”
Ledger stared at Kash over the top of Valon’s head.
All the silent messages passed between them.
Valon had really done this, just as he claimed, and there was something big wrong with him.
Something he tried to hide. All they could do was be here, keeping Valon safe while he got the sleep he desperately seemed to need.
Kash recognized something real in that moment.
These two had always been all he really had.
He would die to keep them safe. Whatever it took.