Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
O verwhelmed. Kieran had never been more disoriented in his life. He’d prepared himself for learning his mum was gone. Or he thought he had.
Maybe a fella couldn’t prepare for such a thing. Hearing it from someone who’d been there should have made it easier. Instead it was more vivid, more heartbreaking to find out she’d been so alone at the end.
Not completely alone, though. She’d had the brief comfort of the woman he was clinging to like a life raft on a storm-tossed sea. He finally made himself let go of Desiree, hoping to God he didn’t break down in front of all these people. In front of Sara.
Of the lot of them, he was most comfortable with her, had been ever since their time in Hannigan’s. What would she think of him now that she’d seen him like this, all choked up and on the brink of losing his shit?
Screwing up his courage, he glanced around at the five people in the room, each of them gazing at him with sympathy. He ended with Sara. “I’ll be honest. I’m having trouble handling….” He waved a hand in the air, unable to put the rest of it into words.
She came to his rescue. “Anybody would. I’m guessing you could use some down time.”
He grasped that welcome straw. “Yeah, like a walk or something. But I don’t know the lay of the land.”
“Tell you what. I’ll go with you, but I won’t say a single word.” She handed over his hat. “I’ll just make sure you don’t get lost. I’ll be your guide dog.”
Despite his inner turmoil, that concept made him smile. And gave him another idea. He looked at Desiree. “Can we take Sam?”
“Of course.”
“Where’d he go?” He’d lost track of the collie when Desiree had started to cry.
“He’s here. Sam, come.”
He appeared, trotting around the furniture, tail wagging.
“Where was he?”
“On his bed over by the fireplace. You can’t see it from here. I sent him over there when we first came in.”
“Missed that.” He held out his hand to Sam. “Wanna go for a walk, boyo?”
Sam’s ears shot up and he danced in place.
Desiree smiled. “That’s a yes.”
“Then let’s go.” Kieran motioned toward the door and glanced at Sara. “Ready?”
She nodded, and true to her word, stayed silent as they followed Sam down the hall. Put him in mind of Granny’s saying — A silent mouth is sweet to hear.
But he wouldn’t care if she wanted to share her thoughts. She must have some. “You can talk, you know.”
She shook her head.
“Suit yourself.” He opened the door. Sam, who’d obviously been taught to be a gentleman, waited for Sara to exit first.
He motioned to the dog. “Go on with you, Sam.”
The collie bounded out and down the steps to join Sara. She paused and glanced back, waiting for him.
He couldn’t think of any face he’d rather see right now than hers. Her bright spirit calmed him in ways he couldn’t explain. He just liked looking at her, being with her.
The minute he closed the door behind him, he exhaled. As he crossed the porch, tension slipped from his shoulders and the knot in his chest loosened. “That’s better.”
She gave him an understanding smile that said more than any words. Maybe they didn’t have to talk, after all.
At the top of the steps he took a quick survey of the peaceful scene in front of him. A red hip-roofed barn sat off to the left and a pasture of grazing horses lay straight ahead, although it was farther away than the barn.
Beyond the stretch of pasture, a stand of pines glowed velvet green in the afternoon sun. To his right, the dirt road they’d come in on made a slight bend to the left and disappeared. Any direction she chose was fine with him.
Clattering down the steps, he put on his hat. “When did you take charge of my hat?”
She shrugged.
“Good thing you did. I might have mangled it.”
Sam pranced around them, his tongue hanging out.
“Looks like Sam’s getting impatient. Lead the way.”
Adjusting the fit of her hat, Sara took off in the general direction of the barn. He fell into step on her right and Sam took her left, keeping pace with her, his head high, his ears at attention.
Sara had kept her hat on ever since she’d bought it, whether she’d been indoors or out. Come to think of it, Irish women sometimes did that, too. He’d automatically taken his off because that’s what he would have done before going into Granny’s house.
Granny . She’d be asleep by now. That was a blessing. He’d have time to plan how he’d break the news. He couldn’t predict how she’d take it. Hell, he couldn’t predict his own behavior going forward, let alone someone else’s.
But stretching his legs felt good. Breathing fresh country air cleared his head a little. Walking beside Sara reassured him. Although he barely knew her, they’d fallen into a natural friendship that he found steadying. He had the impulse to take her hand. Decided against it.
Granny believed in fairies and omens and Fate with a capital F. He swore he didn’t, that it was all nonsense, but this trip had him questioning… well, everything.
As they drew closer to the barn, a footpath revealed itself to the right side of it. Looked like the trail ran along the pasture fence and on toward the pines.
Sure enough, when they got beyond the barn the view opened up, giving him a good look at the massive Sapphire Mountains to the west. According to his online research, sapphires were still mined there.
He glanced past Sara to the horses nibbling on grass only a few feet from the fence. They paid no attention to the dog or the humans.
He’d never had much chance to look at horses before. These were beautiful, their coats glossy, their manes falling gracefully along the curve of their powerful necks. Different colors, too — brown, black and white, gold, gray, even a white one that looked like the Lone Ranger’s horse Silver.
Lucky had grown up with these animals. One of those in the pasture might be his. He’d landed in a bed of clover, thanks to his mum being in the hospital at the same time as Desiree. And that fine woman had the generosity to adopt a motherless child.
Once he told Granny about that, she’d add more candles, one for Lucky and one for Desiree. That much he knew. And she’d cry. If only he could be there with her, but he wasn’t keeping this to himself until he flew home. She deserved to hear it quickly, just not in the middle of the night.
As they left the pasture behind, Sam dashed down the well-traveled path. Evidently he knew this route and the many exciting spots requiring investigation along the way.
The collie reminded him so much of Bailey, who’d loved trips to the outskirts of town where he could roam and sniff to his heart’s content. “I miss having a dog.”
Sara glanced up, eyebrows raised in a clear invitation to expand on that subject.
“His name was Bailey, a collie like Sam but slightly different coloring. Not a purebred, for sure. Had him when I was a lad and oh, did we have the adventures. I was eighteen when he got sick and died.”
She reached over and squeezed his arm.
He liked that, liked it a little too much. He’d pictured them working together to solve the mystery of his mother’s disappearance. Wouldn’t need to do that, now, would they?
Instead he’d spend the week getting to know his brother, which wouldn’t leave much time to get to know Sara. He’d planned to have a talk with her about her intentions toward him. Likely her intentions had changed in the past hour. Like everything else.
What had he been talking about? Oh, yeah. His dog. “I was in a state when I lost Bailey, but the truth is once I started learning a trade and working steady, I wouldn’t have had time for him.”
She cocked her head to one side and looked at him. Easy to figure out she wanted more on the subject of his work, which he hadn’t mentioned before.
“Carpentry. I’m in construction back home. Most of the jobs are in Dublin. Takes a lot of petrol, which cuts into my earnings. I’d move there, but Granny would hate living in the city and I can’t leave her. Not sure I’d care for city life, either, if it comes to that.”
Sam had found a stick. He trotted back with it in his mouth and dropped it the middle of the path, leaving them to decide who’d play with him.
“Want to throw it?”
She shook her head.
“Alrighty, then.” He scooped up the stick and looked it over. The bark was gone, leaving a smooth wood that shouldn’t easily splinter. “You found a good one, Sam. Go get it!” He sent the stick flying toward the trees.
Sam retrieved it in no time, so he kept up the game until they were so close to the trees that throwing it made no sense. “Game’s over, Sam.” He shoved the stick in his back pocket. “That was fun, though. Brings back memories.”
As they stepped into the cool shade of the pines, he looked over at Sara. “I appreciate your decision to stay quiet and let me ramble on, but I’d really like to know more about Lucky. Since we’re alone, I can get your version as an unprejudiced observer.”
“That makes sense. Keep in mind this is only my second time here and I haven’t seen much of him since we flew in.”
“But you were here for your brother’s wedding, when you took those pictures.”
“Yes, and Lucky was in the middle of a huge drama that week. Based on what I gathered from Rance, it was mostly because his mixed-up brother had his head up his ass.”
He chuckled. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“Long story short, he had the hots for Oksana but didn’t think he was good enough for her. He came to his senses, though. I think his family had a lot to do with that, although that’s just an educated guess. They don’t talk about it.”
“Do you think the circumstances of his birth bothered him?”
“Again, I don’t know for sure, but it’s logical. Anyway, Oksana took him back and they’re madly in love.”
“I’ve struggled with not feeling good enough. My father’s a plonker and my mum ran off and left me. But Granny and Grandpa treated me like I was pure gold. Granny still does. That’s helped.”
“You are pure gold.”
That brought him to a dead stop. “What?”
“A poet named Maya Angelou said When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. ”
“I think I’ve heard that, but?—”
“You’ve shown me who you are. You’re brave, strong and persistent. You care about others. You’re the real deal, Kieran. I’m just sad we won’t… that we can’t….”
“Me, too.” Shoving aside all the voices in his head telling him it was a mistake, he reached for her.
She didn’t resist when he pulled her close, but she didn’t nestle against him either. Instead of winding her arms around his neck, she laid her palms against his chest. “We shouldn’t.”
“I know.” Taking off his hat, he dipped his head under the brim of hers. “But I’m not as strong as you think.” Surrendering to a yearning deep in his soul, he kissed her.