Chapter 17
AMARA
Ifound the pussy picture ripped up in the garbage in the morning.
Knowing that production was going to be here just a few hours later, I pushed it down into the trash as far as it could go.
I wasn’t lying, really. It was a nice picture! She got all the right angles. Honestly, I’m jealous of how photogenic her labia is.
But as tough as I pretend to be, do I necessarily like the thought of Cooper being with other women? No.
But that’s not realistic. I’ve been with other men. We all have lives before the people we marry one day.
I’m not na?ve, and I’m not a prude. But I also don’t want the reminder in my face.
Cooper Henry chased me almost my entire life… until he didn’t. It may not have always been romantic. But we were two twin souls growing up in a beach town, wild and free.
Sometimes, to this day, I think that I know him better than I know myself.
As much as I stare at myself in the mirror, pointing to myself and beating my hate for him into my head as a painful reminder of everything I’ve felt, I know that on some level, he still cares.
You don’t go through all of that and come out heartless.
Not him.
I’m making breakfast when Cooper’s buzzer goes off, and I still, looking at the time.
The crew is here.
I buzz them up before finishing my eggs, shoveling them down, and burning my tongue in the process.
They set up as Cooper and I get ready, and by the time an hour is up, the two of us are sitting on the couch, as close as we can muster, with smiles on our faces.
The matchmakers, Joanna and Dylan Day, are sitting in chairs across from us.
They’re lucky I’m feeling extra nice today.
“I’m so glad that you two have seemed to reconnect since the wedding,” Joanna smiles.
I bite my tongue in an attempt to keep myself from sneering.
“We sure did,” is what I say instead.
I watch out of the corner of my eye as Cooper’s lips twitch.
“We heard that there was quite a big reaction at the wedding. How did your friends take the news?” Dylan asks.
“They were shocked,” Cooper says before I can stick my foot in my mouth.
Thank you.
“Apparently, none of them had a single clue. It wasn’t until the girls started walking down the aisle that it clicked for them.”
Lindsey studies me as if waiting for me to spill that he’s lying.
I give her a nonchalant shrug. “You guys made them all sign NDAs. I’m not sure why you’re shocked no one spilled, and if they did, why would we tell you?”
Cooper places his hand on mine, calming me.
Calming me. Why is he calming me?
My heart starts fluttering, and I hate it.
Joanna’s face pinches, and she simply looks down at her notes, ignoring me. “You guys clearly have history, as we’ve seen. Do you care to share any of that?”
I tense, my fist tightening under Cooper’s hand.
“No,” he says firmly before I can. “I think we need to come around to that on our own time.”
“Cut!” someone yells from behind us. Within seconds, Eddy is in front of us, pushing up his glasses with that perpetual, worried look on his face.
“Hey guys,” he starts with a sigh. “I know you guys have been, well, less than thrilled with how all of this came about.” He gestures between the two of us.
“But I really, really need you to start opening up a little more, alright?” His smile is tight.
I cross my arms over my chest, letting Cooper handle it.
He seems to get the hint.
“Edward, I think we need to discuss what we’re willing to do here a little more. We’re all for being on camera and all that, but don’t you think that we should be able to figure out our relationship first before talking about it in an interview?”
Eddy’s lips practically turn white with the force of him clamping them shut. “We’re doing more interviews here and not in the moment because you guys aren’t giving us moments,” he hisses.
“No, you haven’t tried, because you’re too busy trying to get controlled sound bites out of us.”
Someone trained him well on what to expect here. It’s the same speech Isla gave me.
“My sister is coming over when you guys are scheduled to leave. Why don’t the cameras stay, and they start documenting us a little bit more in our element?”
For one, I was not aware of Natalia stopping by. The thought of seeing her again sends an odd shock through me.
I saw her at the wedding, and we exchanged pleasantries. But I wasn’t exactly emotionally in a place where I wanted to talk to her for long.
Eddy thinks about it for a few seconds before giving us a curt nod and heading back to wherever he came from.
“Thank you,” I mutter.
The rest of the interview seems watered down. Like they knew they weren’t going to get much out of us right now, and were asking the most surface-level questions in order to get them out of the way.
Amara, are you making yourself at home here?
Cooper, have you ever had someone live with you before?
Oh, that’s a giant freaking cat! How much food does he eat?
The last one always tends to piss me off. He’s a large breed of cat, and extra fluffy. Sure, he looks huge.
But the more I stew in my annoyance, I think I’m just unhappy to be asked any of these questions at all.
Why did I sign up for this? I find myself thinking, not for the first time.
A few cameramen and Lindsey stay, though she makes herself scarce.
“When’s your sister coming?” I ask, standing in the middle of the living room. There’s nothing to feed guests. Cooper barely keeps anything in his fridge. Surely, we cannot have his family over without providing something.
“She’s here now, actually,” he says as he looks at his phone. “I’ll buzz her up.”
“I can’t believe you guys are doing this,” my old friend says, looking around. “And Coop, this place is insane.”
He nods with a smile. “Needs some work, though.”
“Yeah,” I add sweetly. “His interior designer didn’t work out.”
Natalia shoots him an empathetic frown. “It was the rugs, right?”
“Something like that!” I chuckle, grabbing a stale pretzel from the bowl. It was all I could find in his cabinets on short notice, but in my opinion, it’s better than nothing.
Cooper’s foot meets my ankle in a light kick.
“I feel like carpets are always a problem when talking to designers. I have a lot of friends who use them for their beach houses and rental properties. Everything looks good, and then bam! They have the absolute ugliest rugs known to man.”
“Rugs are really important,” I shrug. “The carpet really did match the drapes, though. I guess it just wasn’t his type.”
Cooper looks like he wants to throw me out the window.
“Oh god,” she rears back, a hand to her chest. What color were they?”
I wince theatrically. “Blonde.”
Natalia looks confused, looking around. “Do you mean like a beige?”
Cooper’s thigh meets mine. “Something like that,” I snicker.
“Well, it’s good to know that now instead of later, when everything is moved in, and there’s no going back, right?” his sister asks.
“Absolutely.”
“Good. Well, I have some news too.”
Cooper holds up a finger. “Let me guess. You finally found a boyfriend you’ll only have for two days before dumping again?”
Natalia scowls at him, picking up a pretzel. She chucks it at his face, hitting him right between the eyes.
“No, actually. But thank you for that. I’m actually finally opening the bakery!”
The smile automatically lights up my face. “I’m so happy for you! You’ve always talked about doing that, I had no idea that you still wanted to!”
I don’t know a lot of things about either of the two people here, I remind myself.
I’ve missed so much time.
“Yes! It’s been a long time coming, with helping out with Grandpa and—” her eyes shoot to Cooper. “Everything after. You know? Lots of things happen after that. And then there was approval from the town, and loans, and ugh. It just took forever! But I’m so thrilled.”
There’s no one who deserves it more. “I’ll have to come visit soon.” And I mean it. “I’m due for a visit to the beach anyway.”
She looks at me softly. “I know. Whenever I leave it, I always feel like I’m leaving a little piece of my soul. I feel so healed whenever I get back home. How long has it been?”
Oh god. “Years,” I say with a nod. Too long. If I could go back right this second, I would. Which is funny, because I’ve never felt that strongly about it.
I also don’t spend so much of my time, under normal circumstances, thinking about my childhood.
It’s only when Cooper’s around that the nostalgia for the good days hits.
“You should definitely come and see the place. Actually, I wanted to ask. I heard you have a catering company and do some event planning, is that right?”
“I, well, yeah,” I start, scratching my knee.
When I get nervous, it always feels like something is digging its way under my skin.
“One of my best friends is an artist around here, and she does these big events. My catering company doesn’t do much event planning exactly, but I do help Isla with event planning. ”
“Oh, I don’t want to overstep then,” Natalia says, retreating.
I shake my head. “No, you’re a special case. What do you need help with?”
She considers this for a second, eyeing me to gauge if I’m lying or not.
“I have my grand opening coming up in a few months, and I was wondering if you could maybe help me plan it. Sure, I can definitely bake and run a business just fine, but planning a whole event and exactly what I’m going to need, what I need to decorate, and all that, well, I could use some help with. ”
“Of course I’ll help!” I exclaim with a wide smile. “It would be the perfect excuse to get back to town and see everyone. Besides, I love planning. It’ll be fun!”
She returns my smile, her teeth bright as she brushes her blonde hair back out of her face.
“I’m so glad! Do you want to set up a meeting in a few weeks, then? We can do it over the phone.”
I agree, and we start to chat about our careers when Fluffernutter makes his way out into the family room, jumping on the couch.
Cooper tenses, watching him from the corner of his eye.
But of course, Fluffernutter walks across his lap, coming to a standstill and watching me. His tail whips up, flickering in the air right under Cooper’s nose.
“I can’t believe you have a cat in this place.” Natalia shakes her head.
“Wasn’t my choice!” Cooper says with a sneeze.
Technically, it was.
Lindsey left a list of dates that we could select from. Apparently, we are to go on five filmed public dates in the next few weeks.
“Some of these are crazy,” Cooper mutters to himself as he goes down the list.
“Which ones?”
“Well, there’s this golfing one.”
“Why is golfing with me crazy?” I quiz.
He shoots a confused glance my way. “Why would that be eventful enough that they’d want to film it?”
“Golf lessons, duh.” What a stupid question. “You’re telling me that if you’re watching a reality dating show, you don’t want to see the couple get all close and cozy as he teaches her how to swing?”
He considers this. “So, is this you telling me to select it?”
I cackle. “God no. Under no circumstances.”
There’s an eyeroll, and he continues on his search for the perfect date. One that we can act cozy, but not too cozy. Something that will get us in and out as fast as humanly possible.
“How about an Annapolis trip?”
I do love Annapolis. “What would we even do there?”
He thinks about it for a second. “Good point. Okay. How about this? National Spy Museum.”
“That’s one of them?”
He shrugs. “Yeah. Apparently, they have an escape room.”
“I’ve never been there.”
“I haven’t either. Though my buddy from Seattle, Damon, told me that it’s not super accurate. I have no idea what the hell that man is smoking, though. I don’t think he knows anything about spies.”
I grunt, taking the paper from him.
“Hey!”
“You’ve had it for long enough.”
I scan the list in an attempt to find the most I hate Cooper Henry-esq date I can possibly find.
“There’s a pasta-making class. That sounds fun.”
“Alright, then circle it.”
I do.
I keep scanning the list as Cooper shifts in front of me. “You know, I think about that night we cooked with my grandpa a lot.”
My heart sinks.
“It was just really special, you know? He lov—”
I hold up my hand.
“I need you to stop.” We’ve had such a good day, to our standards. I’m not sure why he thought that he should come in here and completely ruin it.
Cooper looks confused. “It was just—”
“Cooper, did you ever consider that I loved your family as much as I loved mine?”
He’s quiet as my heart hammers in my chest.
“Because I never got to say goodbye.”
I don’t wait for him to say anything. Something within me snaps, and a whole well of feelings I haven’t even let myself feel flies up to the surface. He doesn’t deserve my time. He doesn’t deserve to see me cry.
Instead, I turn around and retreat to my room, slamming the door behind me.
I’ve always been close with my family. I love my mom and dad so much that it hurts. But Cooper’s family was special to me. Especially Grandpa Kenny.
Why would he bring him up, knowing he didn’t even tell me he passed away? That when he stopped responding to me, I felt like I had lost everyone. Natalia and I were growing distant with time.
But that felt different. Cooper and I had something extra. Something that felt really important. Like he was the string connecting me to everything back home.
The heartbreak burns my eyes, and I bury my face in Fluffernutter’s fur.