Chapter 25
AMARA
“I’m not doing it,” I tell her.
Lindsey shifts uncomfortably on her feet, the jersey gripped tightly in her hands.
“You have to,” she says softly, trailing off.
“I’m not sure that’s true,” I raise an eyebrow.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about producers, it's that they have the fucking audacity. If there’s one other thing I’ve learned, it’s that they will take advantage of literally anything they can. No matter what it is.
So when they learned who my friends are and that we’re a close-knit group, they jumped into researching them and making plans for this season.
Which included me going to games. Not only am I going to games, but I'm going to games wearing Cooper’s jersey. Something I vowed I would never ever touch with a ten-foot pole.
Football has never really been my thing. I supported Cooper when he started playing in high school, but I wasn’t a fan. When he came to the Cobras, I realized that I actually hated it. Or, well, maybe I just hated it because he was on the team. Who knows.
But I’ve been to a few games with the girls, and despite sitting in a heated box for most of it, it hasn’t exactly been my favorite outing.
Today is a preseason game, and I know that essentially means that this game isn’t even important anyway. What does it matter if I’m there or not?
Thinking about being in front of cameras, with my friends, trying to pretend to like football so I don’t come across like a total asshole, just isn’t something I’m willing to do.
But it sounds like they don’t really care what I’m willing to do, so long as they’re happy with the content they’re filming.
And if I’m really honest with myself, which I’m not sure I want to be, we really haven’t given them much, still.
Sure, there was that little moment where I let my jealousy loose at the party. That was a big one. Other than that, we’ve been fairly boring.
The thought is like being thrown into the freezing ocean, and I know I’m being unreasonable.
But since when did I feel bad for producers? Screw the man, right?
Except for the silly little fact that I agreed to this, knowing what I was getting into.
Lindsey watches my entire thought process, and judging by the look on her face, she catches the exact moment I realize I’m fucked.
I snatch the jersey from her hands with an eye roll, heading into my room.
“Okay,” she says to one of the crew. “She’s going to get partly dressed, and then we’re going to film her doing her makeup and ask her a few questions, alright?”
I slam the door closed, pulling off my sweater, replacing it with the stupid, scratchy, oversized jersey.
I shouldn’t be complaining. I love oversized clothing.
I grab a pair of jeans and pull them on, tucking part of the jersey into the waist.
Opening the door, I let in Lindsey and the crew as I sit at the desk I’ve made into a vanity overlooking the inner harbor.
They set up quickly as I tame my curls, and by the time I’m putting on some tinted moisturizer, they’re ready.
“How are you feeling about seeing Cooper play?” Lindsey asks.
I put on my best pageant smile. “I’m so excited. He’s just so electric on the field, you know?”
Lindsey’s eyes flicker to the cameraman, the corner of her mouth tipping into a frown. She knows my game, and she’s tired of it.
“How many games have you been to now?”
I shrug. “Genuinely, I can’t remember. There’s been a few.”
“What has been your favorite thing about living here with Cooper?”
I put down my eyelash curler, thinking of an honest answer for once.
There are quite a few things that I’ve learned about Cooper by living here. I’ve seen a new Cooper that I haven’t seen before, along with the boy that I’ve loved my whole life. He’s still in there. Just new and improved.
But the biggest thing that I’ve learned from the entire thing is that he puts on a front. I think a lot of people do.
Cooper is exactly who he thinks he is. But that deeper version of him still wonders if he’s enough, and if people around him are going to accept him for who he is. While he’s always been a goofball, I think that a lot of what everyone sees now is him overcompensating for the fact that he’s sad.
“I’ve liked getting to know him again,” I tell her honestly. “I think he’s a good guy.”
“Have you guys talked about why you had a falling out?” she fishes, and I take a deep breath.
“No, we haven’t.” I mean, sure, we’ve mentioned it.
But I still don’t really understand what happened.
We haven’t actually dived into that, and I’m not sure I’m ready to.
I just want to get this show done and be able to move on with my life, settle down, and find someone else who can fill the void in my heart that I still have.
A sense of loss washes over me. One that I haven’t felt in at least a week, and I feel my eyes start to prickle. “Are we done now?” I ask her quietly.
Knowing she’s gotten all she’s going to get out of me, Lindsey has the guys pack up, and they wait for me out in the family room.
“This is so weird,” Heidi whispers as the cameras follow us through the stadium and to our suite.
My neck grows hot as I watch everyone around us stare. “We’ll be getting food and watching the game in a few,” I tell her, hoping that they make themselves scarce.
“God, the chicken wings they give us are amazing. I think you’ll love them,” she assures me, taking my hand. “That jersey looks really good on you, by the way.” Heidi winks at me, her steps becoming faster and faster as we get near the suite.
When we’re finally there, she whips open the door, yanking me through. Mila, Isla, and Briar are already there, plates of food and drinks in hand. The glass door is open, and I can hear the crowd below screaming.
“Did they start yet?” I ask.
Isla shakes her head. “Nope. But Cooper is out there stretching.” She shoots me a knowing smile, and I wonder what she’s heard.
What are those god damn boys talking about in the locker room?
But I can’t help but feel myself walk toward the window, the pull of watching him in his element like a magnet I can’t even pretend to fight against.
I spot him instantly in his purple jersey and white pants. He runs straight at first, turning a sharp right as someone throws him a ball. He catches it easily, then throws it back as someone else does the same.
“He looks like he’s doing well,” I say quietly.
“He’s been looking really good,” Briar says, suddenly beside me. “Leo’s been keeping a close eye on him. Apparently, Coach is not happy about this show.” She looks to the left from the corner of her eye, and I assume the cameramen are making everyone uncomfortable.
“Are they filming him at practice?” I ask.
She nods solemnly. “Yep. It was approved. I don’t know how the hell they were able to do it, but Coach doesn’t really have a say over it, and he’s not happy. Apparently, they may be filming an in-season show here next year, too. He’s pissed they don’t get a break.”
I bite my lip, feeling sorry about it all. “I wish that he didn’t have to stress over that.”
“They’re used to stress.” Briar smiles, looking me up and down. “Also, you look really good in his number. It’s kinda like, a right of passage around here to wear their jersey, and you’re kinda the fastest to jump into it.”
My eyes narrow. “It wasn’t exactly willingly.”
We all sit as the game starts, and it occurs to me that I’m in desperate need of getting lessons from the girls. I don’t really understand most of it, despite them trying to explain it for going on three or four years now.
“Okay, see that?” Heidi asks, pointing toward the field.
“Yeah.”
“That’s a sack. Emmett just laid him out flat. God, I love it when he does that.”
“Is it called that because they go down like a sack of potatoes?” I ask seriously.
Heidi thinks for a second, her red hair like fire in the hot sun. “I’m not sure, actually, but that’s probably a good assumption.”
A few minutes later, Leo comes onto the field, smacking Cooper’s ass as he passes him. “Are they all so handsy with each other?”
Isla, Briar, Heidi, and Mila all burst out in fits of giggles.
“The amount of jokes I hear about them sucking each other’s dicks is astronomical, actually.
I’m pretty sure they all just stand around naked in the locker room after practices, too,” Briar confirms. “Remember when Cooper was so proud of knowing what each of their nipples looked like?”
I don’t remember that. But then again, I was attempting to think about anything other than Cooper until the very moment I couldn’t get away with it anymore.
“Speaking of Cooper,” Mila glances at me as something happens on the field, an eruption of applause echoing around us. “How are things going?”
I sigh. “Things are going well, actually, which is weird. We haven’t actually, you know, talked about everything, but we had a really nice time the other night at some event the show put on.”
Mila’s eyebrows shoot up. “That’s actually shocking.”
“Why do you sound like you’re making fun of me?” I grin.
“Because I am. And I’m still a little annoyed at you for not telling any of us about him.”
“I didn’t want to relive it! Or make you guys feel guilty for being around him!”
Heidi flips her hair over her shoulder and crosses her arms over her chest. “We wouldn’t have felt bad. We just may have spent our time planning his murder.”
“He could be buried six feet under,” Briar confirms with a nod.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better,” Isla starts, examining her nails. “Owen says that Cooper wouldn’t shut up about how he knew it was you the second that song came on.”
I freeze. “What song?”
“The song you walked down the aisle to.”
“She’s telling the truth,” Briar confirms with a nod. “He told Leo that, too. Said the second the song started, he was shocked because he knew he was going to turn around and see you. He was terrified.”
“He did not say that.” I’m not sure how to feel.
“He did,” the two of them say in unison. “Love him or hate him, from everything we hear, it sounds like he’s actually kinda in love with you.”
My eyes narrow. “Guys—”
“Don’t kill the messenger!” Isla laughs, her hands shielding her.
But god, did he really know it was me the second that song came on? Does he remember things like that? I think we were kids. Less than ten years old. It was a fake wedding. I had told everyone that I wanted that song played as I walked down the aisle to him, his mom cheering him on.
His mom.
The whole thing happened because Natalia, Cooper, and I walked in on my parents and his mom talking over glasses of wine, saying that maybe we’d grow up and get married.
They were joking, of course. But as kids, it just seemed like a fun game we could recreate for them.
They loved every second. Looking back, I find it a little weird. But I trudged down that beach to Cooper Henry while the CD player played Yours Forever.”
It’s a memory that’s been buried deep, only being resurfaced by my friend’s words.
I have a hard time believing that it meant enough to Cooper for him to know what it sounded like that quickly.
“I’m not sure I believe you,” I say, leaning into Heidi as something else happens in the game.
It’s only when I notice someone shift on the other side of me that I remember there are cameras all around me, and they captured all of it.
And I know I should be annoyed. I should be throwing a bit of a fit. But on the other hand, how beautiful is it to have the kind of friendships that make everything else around you turn into background noise? That the discomfort and the chaos get drowned out by the company you keep.
Sure, I know that some of what I said will definitely get spliced together. But even though I’m here at a football game, I’m actually having fun for once.
And that’s all that matters.
We’re waiting for the guys as they come out of the locker room. Leo is the first to come out like a bat out of hell, and when he sees Briar, he practically flings her as he picks her up, squeezing her as hard as he can.
Some of the other guys walk out, and Mila stills next to me, watching one of them in particular. They lock eyes, the kid blushing as he walks off.
“What the hell was that?” I whisper.
“None of your business,” she responds with a tight smile.
Weird.
Mila has never been an open book. She’s wonderful. Smart, pretty, thoughtful. But we’ve always had to pull things out of her. I know that I’ll find out sooner or later.
After what feels like ages, Cooper’s face comes into view, cameras following him. I can tell by the way his eyes open in shock when he sees me that they didn’t tell him I’d be here.
And by the way he seems to stop breathing as he looks me up and down, it doesn’t seem like they told him what I’d be wearing, either.
What is it about women in a man’s jersey that makes them lose their minds?
“Turn around,” he says with a giant smile.
I do.
“God, I love my last name on you,” he laughs, wrapping me in a tight hug.
Well, I guess I have my answer.
I’m supposed to be angry with him, but I can’t help but laugh. “What are you doing?”
“I’m hugging what feels like a tree.”
I relax.
“That’s better.”
“So, you really like your last name on me?” I ask him with genuine curiosity.
He nods vigorously, his wet hair dripping on me. “If I could have Henry tattooed on your forehead, I would.”
“You’re just saying that for the cameras,” I say more for me than him.
“You keep telling yourself that. You’re making the editor’s jobs really hard by saying it every time we’re cute.”
“We are not cute,” I scoff.
I pull away, looking him over. He’s in that same slutty little outfit that had my mouth watering at the bar before the show. Shorts and a crop top.
I bite my nail in an attempt to ensure my mouth doesn’t drop open.
“So, the girls told me something interesting today,” I tell him as we start walking to the player lot.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. They said that you were telling the guys that you knew it was me right away from the song?”
His face lights up with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. “Oh yeah! I literally knew in the first three seconds. I’ve heard it enough times, you know?”
The woman is too stunned to speak. “I only remember playing it for you once when we were kids. How did you remember?”
His brows draw together as he looks down at me. “What do you mean? You had it on all the time. I’d see it playing on your iPod, or you’d write the lyrics on your arm when you were going through your emo phase.”
I blush at the memory.
“You may not have played it for me, but you played it, and I listened to it.”
My heart squeezes in my chest, but before I can respond, Eddy is pulling at Cooper’s arm.
“You guys are going straight home, right? The crew will be waiting for you there.”
Fantastic.