Chapter 28
AMARA
Iwake up to Cooper playing with Fluffernutter, which, if I’m being completely honest with myself, is not the cat I wish he were playing with.
I come into the kitchen quietly, watching as his shoulders tense as he realizes I’m there.
“There’s juice on the counter,” he says, his voice firm. No emotion.
I hurt him.
I know I hurt him.
I didn’t want to. Really. But telling the truth would be admitting that everything I’ve thought of him is crumbling around me.
He’s not a bad guy.
I forgive him, even though I still don’t have a reason.
Cooper used to be my soft spot. The person who sees right through me every time. My safe space. And the more time I spend with him, the more I see it again. The more I feel everything I used to.
I can’t let myself forget the pain I felt. I can’t let him have that power over me again.
Maybe that’s why I stayed away for so long. Because deep down, I knew that I would be a fool for him the second I let him open his mouth and charm me.
I pick up the juice, taking a sip as I watch him toss treats to Fluffernutter. The cat pounces on it, gobbling it up in seconds.
“Your sister texted me this morning,” I tell him quietly.
He barely looks my way. Just a small tip of the chin. “Oh yeah? What did she say?”
“She wanted to see if I could come visit the shop and plan her party.”
“Did she tell you when she needs you there?”
“In the next week.”
“Well, I can’t go. The event is during my bye week. I think she did it on purpose. So we’ll both go to that.”
I nod, hating the way he looks off into the distance as if he can’t bear to look at me.
“I can go myself,” I confirm, but it barely comes out as a whisper.
Cooper turns, concerned. I’m not sure what my face looks like, but the second he lays eyes on me, he stands. “Let me see what’s going on with practice. I’ll come with you. If it’s a Tuesday, we can leave Monday after practice and stay overnight, okay?”
I feel pressure building in my chest. “Cooper, you don’t have to.”
“I do. I want to. My sister and I still own my grandfather’s house. If you’re okay with it, we can stay over there.”
His grandfather owned a decent-sized beach house with multiple rooms. It would be totally fine for us to stay there, though I’m not sure how I'll feel when we arrive. I haven’t returned in well over a decade.
“Okay.”
I don’t want to agree. I was actually kind of hoping to get away by myself. But life has other plans.
“You don’t have practice on Tuesday?” I ask.
He shakes his head as Fluffernutter scales the back of the couch in an attempt to get his attention. “No, the NFL doesn’t usually practice on Tuesdays. It’s basically our one day off.”
I frown. “You guys only get one day off?”
“Well,” he squints at the ceiling in concentration. “I mean, I guess sometimes we get Mondays off, but only if we win. Usually, we have to at least come in for a short meeting unless Coach says otherwise.”
I’ve been around this friend group long enough to know that their coach runs a tight ship, and they don’t normally get very many complete days off when they win.
“Okay, well, I’ll tell production just in case they were going to make us do something.”
While every part of me is begging to just leave and make them deal with it, I know that that wouldn’t be professional or kind.
I fire off a short text to Lindsey, who reads it instantly and responds only with a thumbs up.
Finishing my juice, I rinse my glass, not sure what else to say as Cooper awkwardly pets my cat.
“What are you up to today?” I ask him finally.
“Practice,” he says, looking at his watch. “And then I’m going to Lulu’s with the guys. But I gotta go.”
It’s quick, as if he’s ripping a Band-Aid off.
Within seconds, he’s out of the room.
“I’m just worried, is all,” I tell Mila on the phone.
“I feel like you shouldn’t be too worried. I mean, sure, he’s Cooper. But he’s been really good, hasn’t he?”
“He’s been weirdly good.”
Something hasn’t sat right with me since Cooper got home from practice today.
Fresh and clean from the showers at the practice facility, Cooper was quick to change into what looked like dress pants and a nice black t-shirt before heading to meet up with the guys.
His sleeve of tattoos looked good enough to lick.
He didn’t say one single word to me.
Didn’t invite me to go with him.
Didn’t say hi.
Nothing.
“I kinda want to go and make sure that he’s not up to anything bad.”
Mila sighs. “I think that you need to figure out what’s going on in your brain. Because there is no way that man is going to risk pissing you off. He pisses you off, he pisses all of us off. And have you seen Briar when she’s angry? That woman is terrifying.”
She is. I’ve seen it with my own two eyes, and I pray I never have to experience it again.
“Yeah but—”
“But nothing. Stay in. You’re going to be fine.”
I don’t follow her directions.
Instead, I throw on the first t-shirt I can find and a pair of shorts.
I had just done my hair this morning, straightening it for the first time in a while out of sheer boredom, so for the hell of it, I slap on some makeup.
If there’s a chance I’m going to bust Cooper Henry doing something stupid, I’m going to look good doing it.
I decide to walk. It takes about five minutes to get there, and I start to realize why the boys come here so much.
One of the perks of being friends with them is the girls and I getting access to the back, where all the athletes tend to hang out. It’s far less crowded than the front of the house. Isla was given access by her brother, and over time, she was able to get us all on the list, too.
So, it shouldn’t shock me when I step into the back and immediately find the guys downing shots.
I should have left then. After all, why am I even here? I shouldn’t be. I’m being nosy. I’m being jealous. I’m being controlling over a man who isn’t even mine.
But I’m scared.
Everyone knows that we’re doing this. Word spreads like wildfire.
And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that Cooper hasn’t exactly made a name for himself by being a good boy and turning down all the women who come up to him.
No. I know he loves to flirt, because I was the one being flirted with for half my life.
The man is a natural, even back when we were kids.
And although I don’t judge the women for falling for it, going home with him, and having the time of their life, when he’s with me, my biggest fear is to be made a fool of.
I probably could have remained undetected, except for someone being a little too sober.
It’s Emmett who points me out. Of course it is.
Cooper flings around, his beer in his hand, his eyes glassy.
He grins. A wide grin that dazzles me.
God, I want him.
Within seconds, he’s across the room, handing me his bottle. I take a sip, watching him.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, looking me up and down. I can tell he’s had too much to drink, but not enough that I don’t want to be around him.
“I just wanted to check on you. You left in a hurry.”
Mischief lights up his face. “Look at you, caring about me.”
“I always care about you.”
He takes a swig of beer. “I thought that was called acting.”
I bite my tongue. “Are we doing this again?” I ask, getting annoyed. “I thought we agreed—”
“And I take it back.” He shrugs.
“What do you mean you take it back?”
“I mean, I don’t want to watch you fake falling in love with me for the show.”
My eyes narrow. “Did I hurt your feelings?”
He watches me, his face stoic.
Uncomfortable, I allow my eyes to flicker around the room. There are eyes on us. A lot of them.
I need to get out of here.
I push past him, fully aware of how stupid this decision was. I should have listened to Mila. She’s always right, and I’m always—
A large hand circles my arm, pulling me to a stop by the back door. “Can you stop for one second?” his deep voice asks, turning me.
The back of the bar is dark. Still visible, but definitely darker than anywhere else. A purple hue lights us just enough for me to see his frantic face.
“I don’t really have anything to say.”
I go to turn again, but Cooper catches my wrist again, turning me, and within an instant, I’m pressed up to the wall.
The music fades.
The chatter.
The clinking of glasses.
The smell of beer and the feeling of my shoes sticking to the floor.
All of it fades as I stare up into Cooper’s green eyes.
“Why did you come tonight?” he asks, his breath tickling my cheek.
“I wanted to make sure you don’t embarrass me.”
He pauses, studying my face. “You think I’d embarrass you?”
I nod.
“How would that happen?” His eyes flutter down to my lips.
“You’d come here with the guys, get a little drunk, and a girl would come up to you at the bar.”
“Mmm. And what would she do?” I close my eyes as I feel his hand trail up my thigh, the tip of his nose brushing against my skin.
“She’d put her hand on your chest and look up at you with those big baby blues and ask for your number.”
I feel Cooper’s hand tighten as his fingers reach the hem of my shirt. “And what do you think I’d do?”
“I think,” I suck in a breath in a desperate attempt to ignore the fire swirling in my belly, the pool gathering in my panties. “I think you’d give it to her. I think you’d take her hand and bring her back here, where you’d pin her against the wall and whisper sweet nothings.”
Cooper’s fingers keep inching up until they reach the hem of my shorts, his thumb brushing underneath it.
It feels forbidden somehow.
But all of this is only forbidden in my own mind. No one else’s. Not even his.
“That sounds like a fantasy,” Cooper mumbles as his lips brush my jaw.
“Not mine,” I hiss.
He kisses my jaw, and I gasp as his hand tightens around my thigh once more, hiking it up onto his hip. His other hand tightens around my wrists above my head.
“So you’re telling me, Sweetheart, that you concocted this whole little fantasy about what I’d be doing here in your head,” he runs his nose up to my ear, pushing my hair aside.
“Did your hair and your makeup, and threw on one of my shirts, and you’re worried that I’d be doing this with someone else? ”
In my defense, I had no idea what shirt I was throwing on. An oversized shirt is an oversized shirt, in my book. They’re free game for anyone to take.
“I—”
But I don’t really know what to say. Because he’s right.
“For future reference,” he starts, his teeth nipping at my ear and sending an electric shock right down to my pussy. “The only woman I’ve ever pinned to the fucking wall here is you. And the only woman that I want naked in my bed is you. Got it?”
He lets go, pulling away, and I can feel my heartbeat at my core, my clit throbbing, desperate for friction. If he had just gotten a little closer, I could have rubbed myself on him.
But we are in a public bar, I remind myself. And Cooper and I have never even had sex. I feel like dry humping his leg in a bar in front of his friends, all of whom date my god damn friends, would probably be a recipe for disaster.
God, what just happened is already a disaster I’ll definitely be hearing about in the morning.
Cooper and I stand there, awkwardly facing off as if I didn’t almost come in my shorts at just the touch of his finger on my leg.
“I think I’m going to head home,” I whisper, gathering myself.
“I’ll come with you,” he says quietly.