Chapter 38
Vera
2018
H ow could I have let this happen?
It was the only thought running through Vera’s mind as she walked through the halls of the emergency room frantically looking for her little sister.
She’d gotten the call from Maddie’s mom, Monica, less than twenty minutes ago and nearly flew across town to the hospital. Vera had no clue how bad things were. What she knew was that Maddie and Walker had been in an accident and Maddie was unconscious. She also had a broken leg, and had been the one driving the car.
The last bit of information made Vera breathe the smallest sigh of relief. Monica didn’t know about Walker as they wouldn’t give her details at the hospital since she wasn’t family.
Isla had offered to go to the hospital with her, but Vera told her to stay with the kids. The kids were and would always be Vera’s first priority, and she didn’t want them to know what was going on. Not yet. There had been so much tension between Walker and Isla since the incident last summer at the Cape that Vera had done her best to keep the peace. And that had meant keeping her kids away from Walker.
Although it hadn’t been easy, Vera knew it was beyond needed. And as she was ushered into Walker’s exam room by a nurse, she could see why.
Or, rather, smell why.
Walker smelled like she'd taken a bath in liquor. She was lying flat on the bed, staring up at the gray-tiled ceiling. Her jeans were ripped, but Vera wasn’t sure if it was a fashion choice or a result from the accident. But otherwise, Walker looked fine.
“Walker,” Vera stopped a few feet shy of the bed, but Walker didn’t react to her presence. She just stared unblinking at the ceiling. “Walker, what happened?”
Vera already knew the answer. Monica had told her as much as she knew. Something had run out in front of the car and Maddie had swerved to miss it and they had wrecked. Maddie had been able to tell the EMTs that much as she came in and out of consciousness in the ambulance.
But Vera needed to hear what happened from Walker.
Because as much as Vera wanted to believe Maddie’s version of events, she had a sinking feeling that there was more to the story.
After all, Maddie and Walker had been broken up for months. Walker had been staying at their mother’s house, and as far as Vera knew it was as awful for both of them as she could imagine. But Vera wouldn’t let Walker stay at their house. Not even in the garage apartment. She had refused to get help for her drinking and Vera couldn’t support her any longer.
Even if that conversation had nearly killed Vera.
“You’re my sister,” Walker had cried as they stood on the front porch of the Mackenzie farmhouse. She had come over to apologize to Ellie for the accident in Cape Cod, but Vera refused to let her in the house “You’re supposed to support me.”
“I can’t support this, Walker. Not anymore.”
“So, you’re just going to abandon me here?”
“No. You have my number. When you’re ready to change, you call me and I will be right there. I will be by your side through rehab and recovery and whatever else you need. But this,” she gestured to Walker who was glaringly drunk, “isn’t something I can support any longer.”
“This is all because your bitch wife hates me and has made you hate me, too. You’ve changed since you’ve been with her.”
Vera gritted her teeth, putting a hand on her hips while pointing at Walker with the other. “One, my wife is not a bitch, and two, she hasn’t changed me. My kids did. They come first, Walker, and I make no apologies for that.”
“So, what?” Angry tears slid down Walker’s face, “you’re just never going to let me see them again?”
“Not until you sober up.”
The argument had ended with Walker driving away and Vera falling apart in Isla’s arms. She hadn’t seen Walker since then.
Regret fought for top emotion in Vera’s mind. She should have helped her sister, not abandon her at her lowest. Right? But Vera knew better. She had done what she did for the sake of her family. Her kids would always come first, even before her sister.
Who very obviously needed more help than Vera would ever be able to give her.
“Is she okay?”
“She’s fine.” The doctor shrugged, seemingly judging Walker. Not that Vera could blame her. She’d probably seen too many cases where the drunk ones survive without a scratch while the innocent ones are injured. “She wasn’t driving, so the police cleared her to go home. She just can’t drive.”
“What about alcohol poisoning? Do we know how much she’s drunk?”
“We don’t, which is why I’d recommend keeping her overnight for observation. Get her some fluids and help her with the inevitable hangover. If you want. The decision is yours.”
What do I want? How is this my decision? She’s not my kid.
But Vera knew their mother would skirt the responsibility of making the medical decisions off on Vera anyway. She might as well make it now. If it were any of her kids, she’d take them home. But with Walker, it wasn’t easy. Vera couldn’t—and wouldn’t—take her to the farmhouse. And judging by her mother’s lack of calling or texting, she didn’t know what had happened yet.
“Can I have a few minutes alone to talk to her?”
“Good luck,” the doctor shrugged again, “she’s not said anything since she got here.”
Vera waited until the doctor was out of the room to walk closer to Walker’s bed. Still, Walker didn’t react. If it wasn’t for her unsteady breathing, Vera wouldn’t even know she was alive.
“Walker?” She paused, waiting for any kind of response before continuing. “I know you can hear me, so I’m just going to say what you don’t want to hear. I don’t know what happened today between you and Maddie, but I know you’ve been drinking. I can smell it all over you. And if this doesn’t make you realize that you have got to stop drinking, not only for yourself but for the people you love, then I don’t know what will.”
“Maddie doesn’t love me anymore,” Walker grumbled, her voice raspy. “I’d asked her to pick me up from the bar and she did. I knew you wouldn’t,” she nearly spit the words at Vera.
Vera ignored Walker’s obvious attempt to get her to engage in an argument. “Then what happened?”
“She was going to take me home and I said no. So then she started to bring me to your house and I was like hell no . Vera doesn’t want me there.”
“Walker, you know that’s not true.” Reaching out, Vera placed a hand on Walker’s arm.
“Go away,” Walker’s voice was louder now.
Vera tried not to let Walker’s words hurt her. “Walker, do you know what happened?”
“You abandoned me.”
Walker was aiming her words to hit their mark with Vera. She knew them well; Vera had been her target practice before.
“Today, Walker. Do you know what happened today?”
Slowly, Walker sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Vera took a step back, unsure of what Walker would do next. Walker must have seen the momentary fright flash across her face, as she laughed sarcastically.
“Relax, I’m not going to hurt you.” Walker tried to stand, but clearly didn’t have her coordination back yet. Vera reached out to steady her, but Walker pushed her away. “I’m fine. I don’t need you.”
She only took two steps toward the door before falling. Vera tried to help her to her feet but Walker pushed her away. The force of the push caused Vera to stumble, and she fell back onto a nearby chair. Angry and hurt tears mixed in Vera’s eyes as her heart broke for her sister.
Vera tried to regain her composure; tried to be the adult figure Walker needed in that moment. But the truth was her heart was shattering into a million pieces. Walker was beyond help; even more so than Vera had realized before. If Walker didn’t change soon, she worried she might not make it to her next birthday.
The thought alone broke Vera’s heart.
Standing to her feet, Vera walked to the side of the bed and pressed the call button. She asked for the doctor to come back before turning to Walker, who was putting her sling bag over her shoulder.
Vera wanted to stop her; wanted to give her some big, long, motivational speech that would make Walker want to get sober. But she knew her words would fall on deaf ears tonight. The speech would have to wait until morning.
Thankfully, the doctor and a nurse returned and told Walker they were keeping her overnight for observation. Walker fought it, desperately trying to convince them that she was okay. But the more she tried to convince them, the less believable it was.
“I’ll come back and pick you up tomorrow, okay?”
“Yeah, right,” Walker scoffed as she turned her back to Vera.
Vera waited a beat before leaving the exam room. She meant what she told Walker: she’d be back in the morning to pick her up. Before leaving the hospital, Vera checked on Maddie one more time. Then she called Isla.
“Hey, how are they?”
“Maddie has a broken leg, but otherwise is okay. Monica said the car is totaled.”
“And Walker?”
“Not even a scratch,” Vera sobbed. “Isla, I can’t do this anymore. If this doesn’t wake her up to see that she needs to change then I don’t know what will.”
“I know you’re hurting, baby. I’m so sorry. What can I do?”
Vera wiped away the tears in her eyes. “Is it okay with you if I get a room at the inn tonight? I need time to think and figure out what to do with Walker and I don’t want to bring this heaviness home with me.”
“Of course, baby. Whatever you need. Do you want me to come there with you?”
“No, stay with our babies.” Vera sniffled. “I’m going to call Lena tonight and see what she thinks we should do.”
“I’m here, baby. Always.”
“I know. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
The next twelve hours were a complete blur for Vera. She had left the hospital and made her way to the Moonflower Cove Inn. Grabbing a to-go order from the inn’s restaurant, she made her way up to her room and called Lena. Like Vera, Lena was also a doctor. But unlike Vera, she hadn’t seen firsthand the side effects of Walker’s drinking.
“I agree with everything you’re saying,” Lena was on FaceTime, eating popcorn in her Florida home. “But you’re right, it has to be Walker’s decision. It won’t work unless it is.”
“I know,” Vera sighed. “I’m going to pick her up in the morning. Hopefully she’ll have time to think tonight.”
“And I’ll check with my contacts and see if any rehab facilities around here can take her. Because I think you’re right there too. We need to get her out of the Cove.”
“Usually I love when you say I’m right, but not this time.”
The sisters chatted for a while longer before saying their goodbyes. Vera barely slept, her mind running wild with thoughts of Walker and how different the day could have gone. Either Maddie or Walker could have died. Or both. And even if Maddie said the wreck was caused by something running out in front of them, something in the pit of Vera’s stomach told her that wasn’t the full story.
Which was why at barely six in the morning Vera was waiting outside the auto shop to see Maddie’s car. Not only was the front end completely crunched up, the roof was also smashed. As were both side doors. Vera tried to keep her composure as the tow truck driver told her how the car had flipped twice before hitting a tree down an embankment.
The image stayed with Vera as she picked Walker up from the hospital and drove her to the pier. If the pier ever learned to talk, the entire Cove’s secrets would be spilled. It seemed to serve as the perfect place for private conversations, even if it was in the middle of downtown.
Finding a quiet bench, Vera and Walker sat. They were quiet for several minutes before Walker said, “Vera?”
“Yes?”
“I’ve been thinking about what you said last night.”
Vera waited for her to continue.
“And you’re right. I need help. I saw Maddie this morning and,” Walker began to sob, “I could have lost her. I could have killed her.”
“Oh, Walker.” Unable to control it any longer, Vera pulled Walker into a hug. “She’s okay. Maddie’s okay.”
“But I’m not.”
Her words hit Vera like a ton of bricks.
“I grabbed the wheel when Maddie was driving. I didn’t want to go to your house and so I just grabbed it. It all happened so fast.” Walker was still crying, but Vera didn’t let her go. “Please, Vera. Help me. I’m ready to get sober. Please.”
“I’ve been talking to Lena and we found a place for you in Florida about an hour from her house.”
Walker pulled out of Vera’s embrace, her brow furrowed. “Florida? But my friends are here. My family’s here. Is this Isla’s idea to get rid of me?”
“Walker, no.” Vera made sure her voice was stern but calm. “I haven’t even talked to Isla about this. Only Lena. When you get your stuff packed, I’ll buy you a plane ticket and Lena will pick you up at the airport.”
Slowly nodding, Walker hung her head. It seemed to Vera like the first time her actions had finally all caught up to her. She sniffed a few times before wiping her tears.
“Someday,” she slowly lifted her blue eyes to Vera’s, “can I come back here?”
“Of course.” Vera offered her a sad smile. “Right now, just focus on you and getting better, okay?”
Walker nodded before willingly going back to Vera for a hug. Although she didn’t know when, Vera knew things would be okay.
Someday.
Maybe.
Hopefully.