Chapter 5
Chapter Five
KYLEN
“I don’t…I don’t like it.”
Kylen sighed, staring back at the video screen, then at Flora, who was trying to shake the braids off her head. Since she was little, he’d dedicated at least three hours of his week to watching braid tutorials for her. She had Dani’s hair—2C curls that had a lovely coil so long as he kept on top of their care. But her hair was nothing like his own, so he’d done everything he could to learn how to care for it.
And some days were good.
And some days, nothing turned out right.
“Want to leave it down? We can pin back the front with bows,” he suggested.
She looked on the verge of a tantrum, but after a beat, she took in a deep breath, then counted, “One, two, three, four, five.”
He’d seen her do this the other day too. “Baby?” he asked when she was calm. “What’s the counting for?”
“It’s some seconds. It push…um, it just push all the bad feelings out and let all the good ones come in. But it’s okay to have bad feelings. ”
“Is that what Mr. Reed taught you?” he asked her as he handed her the bag with all her bows.
She rummaged through. “Yep,” she said, popping the P . “I could be mad or sad or glad or even I could be bad. But I should try not to be bad.”
“He sounds like a smart teacher,” Kylen said. He was looking forward to meeting the guy. He had a picture in his head—older, greying, glasses, maybe even a bow tie. He sounded a little like what he’d always wanted his grandpa to be like.
“He’s gonna see you tonight.”
She hopped off his lap and ran off, and Kylen climbed to his feet. He needed a shower, but he wanted to get out of the house before Grace had the chance to show up and ruin his evening, so he grabbed his keys and phone, then directed Flora to her shoes.
“Let’s go get chicken nuggets,” he said.
She threw her Barbie across the room. It hit the wall with a dull thud, and she burst into laughter before running and skidding to a halt by their shoe rack. “I want sauce!”
“Whatever my princess wants,” he answered her. He hated that he meant it too.
They were halfway through dinner when he got a flurry of calls from Grace, but he sent her to voicemail and got Flora to finish up so they could get to the school. Parent night wasn’t structured. All the classrooms were open, and parents could visit at their leisure. What he wanted was to get there early so he could thank Mr. Reed for being someone steady in Flora’s life when things were a little chaotic.
He wanted to peruse her art and see her little craft table and then get the fuck out before others showed up and wanted to make small talk. He didn’t want to answer questions about his home life, and he didn’t want to get coffee with random strangers whose only connection to him was their kids sharing a teacher.
He would never be a normal dad—not like the ones he ran into.
“Is Auntie coming?” Flora asked as she clambered into her booster seat and buckled herself in.
He checked to make sure it was secure, and then he got into the driver’s seat. “I think so.” It would be a miracle if she didn’t. She wasn’t around much, but when she was, she felt she had the right to play absent mommy. His family had never approved of Dani’s decision to keep her job or to live eight months out of the year in London.
But in reality, he knew it wasn’t about her. It was about him. They doubted he could do this on his own. They didn’t believe he could raise a child successfully.
It was almost like they wanted him to fail if he didn’t do exactly what they wanted, and what they wanted was for him to have a wife, a house, a picket fence, maybe a dog. They wanted someone in an apron to stay at home, and he could jet off to anywhere and everywhere and phone it all in.
Because that’s what they’d done.
But that wasn’t the life he was going to give his child.
His heart sank a little when he pulled into the parking lot to find it mostly full, but he snagged one of the last spots, then climbed out and waited for Flora. She stood for a second and fixed her hair in the rearview mirror, then hopped out. Her little sneakers crunched on the asphalt as she took his hand and pulled him toward the gate.
“This is where I play,” she said, pointing to the plastic structure. “It’s just for us. But some big kids go there, and they pushed me. ”
He froze. “When?”
“The other…day. Last year, when I was little.”
“You weren’t here last year, sweetpea. When did this happen?”
She shrugged. “They’re just some mean kids sometimes.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, but they kept walking toward the gates, and then Flora let out a squeal when his sister stepped out from behind the gate door. “Grace,” he said as Flora hugged her legs.
She said nothing, but she took Flora’s hand as his daughter pulled him in through the door of the first classroom. He wasn’t sure if he felt better or worse that her class was so close to the exit, but he hated that he had to worry about shit like that.
That wasn’t the childhood he had.
He hated all the drills now. All the lockdowns. All the fear. He hated that every time he saw a text alert from her school, he panicked, even though it was usually about construction or late busses. He hated that his heart was always between his teeth.
“This is my table,” Flora said loudly. “And my colors. My cubby’s right there. And that’s Mr. Reed.”
The world came to a stuttering halt. Kylen knew those eyes. That smile. Those dimples. He knew those arms. He knew exactly what that soft hand felt like in his own, even if it had only been for a short time.
He tried to speak, but words died at the back of his tongue.
Dallas looked just as shocked as him. He was frozen, halfway to setting down a cup.
Then Grace cleared her throat, and Dallas’s arm jolted, spilling juice all over his wrist. “This is Mr. Reed,” Grace said. “The one with the tattoos. We’ve met once or twice.” It was clear by her tone she didn’t approve, which only made his desire for the man grow.
Dallas cleared his throat and took two steps closer to them. “Kylen.”
Grace stared at him. “So, you know each other?”
Dallas chuckled softly. “We’ve met. Yes. And it’s nice to meet you formally. I’m Dallas Reed.”
“Dal—” she stammered and stopped, then looked at Kylen with wide eyes. “ The Dallas? Your Dallas? Are you fuh—” She stopped again, likely remembering they were in a classroom full of children. “Are you serious?”
And Kylen might have laughed if he wasn’t close to shitting his pants. He already looked like a fool for making up the lie, but he hadn’t wanted to look like a fool in front of this man.
Dallas glanced between them. “Am I missing something?”
“Only that you’re apparently dating your student’s father,” Grace snapped in a furious whisper, and then something dawned on her, and her scowl turned into a slow grin. “Or…is there another man named Dallas around here?” She looked like the cat who got the cream—like she knew she was going to expose Kylen, and it was that much sweeter being able to do it in public.
Kylen felt panic rippling up his spine so fast he almost choked on it. “Well. I…”
“There’s not. I’m the one and only, but we’re trying to keep it quiet. We met before Flora was in my class,” Dallas said, his tone no-nonsense.
Grace looked startled. And almost disappointed. “So you weren’t lying? ”
Dallas stepped closer and lowered his voice. “About what? Did he tell you lies about me?”
Grace made a soft choking noise, then said, “I suppose not.”
“Flora doesn’t know,” Kylen said swiftly. His daughter had wandered off somewhere in the tense silence and was talking to another little girl by the collection of beanbags in the corner of the room. “I’d like to keep it that way for a while.”
Grace sniffed. “This feels…against policy.”
“Are you trying to secure asshole of the year?” Kylen asked in a sharp whisper.
Dallas blinked. “I’m missing so much, aren’t I?”
“No,” Grace snapped while Kylen answered, “Yeah. I’ll tell you later.”
Dallas’s eyes went very soft and warm. “I’m looking forward to that. Anyway, I’m glad you showed. Grace, would you like me to show you around?”
She glanced over at Flora, then shook her head. “No. I actually have an appointment. But since you two are getting serious, are you coming to the family weekend?”
Dallas looked panicked, and Kylen quickly shook his head. “We’re not there yet.”
“After a year?” she asked. “When you’re so in love?”
Kylen wanted to throw himself in the sun. Why had he been such a moron? “Uh. Well?—”
“I’m still checking to see if I can get the days off. Teachers don’t get as much time as students, but we’ve been talking about it. And it’ll be nice to get to know everyone,” Dallas answered smoothly.
Kylen could kiss him if that wouldn’t freak him out. Instead, he just stepped a little closer as Grace stalked off to say goodbye to Flora. The moment she was out of earshot, he groaned. “I am so sorry.”
Dallas laughed. “Am I the Canadian boyfriend?”
Kylen slapped a hand over his face. “I didn’t mean to. I panicked, and your name came out. I’m…God, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I feel like such a jackass.”
“Don’t,” Dallas said softly. He laid his hand on Kylen’s arm, more confident than he’d been on the plane. It was even sexier than his adorable nerves. Fuck. “Why don’t we meet this Saturday for coffee? I think I need to hear this story. And we should probably get all the facts straight in case she corners me when you’re not here.”
Kylen’s blush deepened. “Again, I’m so, so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Dallas repeated fiercely. He stopped and nodded as Grace walked by, and they both held their breath until she was out the door. “I remember what you said on the plane.”
Kylen dragged both hands down his face. “I didn’t mean to be a total creep.” He jolted when a second later, a warm, familiar hand took his own.
Dallas squeezed his fingers as gently as he had during the flight. He was trying to be careful, he’d said. Because he was a big guy working with small children. Kylen hoped to God he was hiding his blush.
“I don’t think you’re a creep. I’ve had the misfortune of meeting your sister a couple times now. I get it. Believe me.”
Kylen wanted to defend her. Maybe he should have. But she’d taken it upon herself to make a lot of people’s lives miserable. And maybe it was because her own was a nightmare—who knew. She never opened up to him, so he could only guess why she was the way she was.
But it was getting exhausting .
“Mr. Reed! This is my daddy.” Flora appeared out of nowhere, tugging on Dallas’s hand, and it was only then Kylen realized their palms were still pressed together.
Dallas let him go, a slow drag of fingers that almost felt deliberate. “I see that. Your dad is very nice, Flora.”
“I know. He’s my favorite dad,” she said.
Kylen laughed and lifted her onto his hip. “I’m your only dad.”
“I have a mommy,” Flora said. “Some people have two daddies, and some has two mommies.” She held up two fingers. “But I have one daddy and one mommy.”
“There are lots of different kinds of families,” Dallas told her, nodding along.
“Yeah. There’s a lot. My mommy lives in London.”
Dallas raised his brows. “Oh?”
“She and I met, uh…one night,” Kylen said, closing his eyes and sighing. “You heard part of the story.”
Dallas chuckled. “Yeah. I remember.”
God, his laugh was a low rumble, and Kylen couldn’t get enough. This was going to be a problem if he wasn’t careful. “Dani works out of her office here a few times a year. She’s one of my best friends, and she loves her baby a lot.”
Flora nodded. “She loves me to the whole moon and to Jupiter and to Pluto and then back.”
Dallas went soft, his eyes almost watery. “That’s a whole lot, sweetpea.”
Kylen jolted as Flora laughed. “You an’ my daddy call me that.”
“I should let you get to the other parents. I feel like I’ve totally monopolized you,” Kylen said in a rush. He became very aware of other people milling around, clearly waiting to grab Dallas’s attention .
Dallas blew out a puff of air. “Right, yeah. Hey…uh. Let me give you my number?” He glanced around, looking lost. “I just…I had cards, um…”
“Want to put it in my phone?” Kylen asked. If he got hurt, it would be his own damn fault. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it, handing it over.
Dallas’s large but delicate fingers tapped on the screen, and then he handed it back with a smile, his dimples all on display. “I texted myself.”
“Great.” Christ, he sounded out of breath. Kylen cleared his throat. “So…see you around?”
“This weekend,” Dallas said very quietly.
“It’s a—yeah.” A date . He was going to say, It’s a date . But that would have been a giant mistake.
Dallas just smiled, then gave him a wave as Kylen set Flora down and let her walk him around the classroom. He kept Dallas in the corner of his eye, watching him laugh and joke with other parents. But he didn’t touch any of them. He didn’t hold their hands. He didn’t give them his number.
He didn’t laugh the same way. He didn’t lean in. And he didn’t save any of them from nightmare siblings trying to run their lives.
Dallas wasn’t going to stay his, but for a moment, it felt like he belonged to Kylen. And he wanted to hold on to that as long as he could.