Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
W hat is wrong with me?
She’d said too much. Why’d she bring up Maximus? No, she hadn’t mentioned him by name, but the fact that she’d mentioned an ex was a dumb move.
I should’ve kept my big mouth shut.
Raven knew why she hadn’t. Maximus had called her earlier, and he was still on her mind. Like a fool, she had answered the phone. In her defense, he had called from a different telephone number. The only reason she bothered talking to him was because if she hadn’t, he would’ve kept calling. Thankfully, he was out of the country and had no idea that she was in Chicago. If she was lucky, she could make it back to Houston, ship her belongings to Chicago, and head back here before he even knew she was gone.
But all that was unlikely, she thought as she and Zion exited the elevator on the floor where the restaurant was located. Surprisingly, he hadn’t said anything about her ex, except that he was looking forward to hearing more. Maybe he meant in the future. Which was fine by her. She’d rather talk about anything but Maximus. Unfortunately, at some point, especially if Maximus didn’t back off, she’d have to mention him to Zion. Since he was the twin’s father, he’d have a right to know her ex had become a little emotionally unhinged lately.
Raven stood off to the side while Zion spoke to the hostess. The place looked packed. For a Chinese restaurant, it was large and a little fancier than she’d expected. She didn’t feel out of place with the way she was dressed though. Some people were casually attired while others looked as if they were going out on the town after dinner.
“Right this way, please,” the hostess said with a smile.
With Zion’s hand at the small of her back, Raven tingled all over from his touch. It didn’t matter that she had on a sweater, she felt him to the depths of her soul, and it was unnerving. She didn’t want to still be attracted to him. She didn’t want to still want him. And she sure as heck didn’t want to enjoy the way his hands felt on her body.
It had already been hard enough when he had her hugged up to him at the B & B. It had felt so good being in the circle of his arm that she hadn’t been able to pull away. He was making her feel the way he had during their brief time in Vegas. Like she was special, wanted, and cherished.
Nope. She had to keep her head. This outing might feel like a date, but she needed to remember that all they could be were parents to their babies. Any romantic notions she might have, needed to be put on the back burner.
“Is this okay?” the hostess asked when she stopped near a table that was secluded in a far corner.
The terrace views were impressive, surrounded by tall office buildings and high-rise apartments or condominiums. Large greenery offered seclusion from other patrons while the view of the sky and surrounding buildings weren’t hindered.
“This is perfect,” Zion said and moved in front of the hostess to pull out the chair for Raven.
Raven smiled and thanked him as she took her seat. He was being the perfect gentleman, making it hard for her to stay focused on seeing him as just her babies’ daddy. That’s all he was… at least for now. In the future? She wasn’t sure, and she’d learned a long time ago to never say never. So she wouldn’t ever say they could never get together again, but that couldn’t be her main agenda for getting to know him better.
Shortly after the hostess left, a server came to give them menus and take their drink orders. Raven hadn’t had wine since before getting pregnant, and since she’d stopped breastfeeding a month ago, now was her chance. She ordered a glass of Moscato while Zion ordered rum and Coke.
“This place is lovely,” she said, deciding she’d try to control the direction of their conversation. “Considering we’re outside, I thought it would be chillier out here, but it’s very comfortable.”
There were heaters almost near every table, and the amount of heat they emitted was perfect.
“I’m glad you like it. It’s one of my favorite restaurants.”
For the next few minutes, they studied the menu until Zion suggested they get several dishes to share. She wasn’t a picky eater and went along with his suggestions. Soon after, the server was back with their drinks, as well as glasses of water. Before she left the table, they placed their order.
“How do you like being a police officer?” she asked as she sipped her wine which tasted divine. She hadn’t realized just how much she had missed the alcohol.
“It’s alright, but lately I’ve been thinking about a change. This guy I know is part-owner of Supreme Security - Chicago, a personal security firm. He’s been trying to lure me away from Chicago PD and wants me to work for them.”
He explained how the organization provided personal security for entertainers and other wealthy people. The position, if he wanted it, could take him all over the country providing protection for people.
“That sounds exciting and safer than being a police officer.” The idea of him putting his life at risk daily was a bit unnerving. She wanted him to be around forever for their kids because she knew what it was like to lose a parent as a child. Sure, she’d been in her teens when her mom and dad died, but it had been awful losing them. She didn’t want that for her children.
“Yeah, it might be safer,” Zion said, reaching for his glass of water, “but it probably wouldn’t give me the adrenaline rush that I get from being a cop. With that said, I won’t rule out the opportunity.”
As he drank his water, he glanced around the terrace. Raven took in his long, tapered fingers that were wrapped around the glass, remembering how skillful those digits were during their night together. Then she zoned in on his kissable lips. From there, her eyes wandered to his neck, and she swallowed hard. Not only was the man extremely fine, but even the way his throat moved as he drank was just as sexy.
How was it that she never noticed the way a man’s Adam apple bobbed up and down until now? Interesting.
Her attention wandered to his profile. He hadn’t shaved and there was a little scruff on his cheeks, which only added to his handsomeness. It was still hard to believe he was five years younger than her, and it bugged her a little. Teresa had called her a cougar. Though Raven didn’t feel a day over thirty, she wondered if when people saw them together, would they think she was older?
“What are you thinking about?” he asked.
It was on the tip of her tongue to say nothing, but she opted for the truth. “I was thinking about how I’m five years older than you.”
He grunted and shook his head. “For the record, I never would’ve thought you were older than me. You looked hella good last year, and even more beautiful now.”
Raven’s mouth dropped open with how passionate he said the words, but she closed her mouth quickly. Heat spread to her face, and she glanced down while nibbling on her bottom lip.
“I take it you have a hard time accepting compliments.” Zion touched her hand that was resting on the table, but as if he realized what he was doing, he pulled it back. “I noticed that in Vegas every time I said you were beautiful or sexy.”
“I thought you were feeding me a line,” she said. “We didn’t actually meet under normal circumstances.”
“Sure, we did,” he countered. “We met at a bar and had drinks along with good conversation. I’m sure many can say they’ve met someone of the opposite sex the same way.”
Raven nodded. “True. I guess since we didn’t get to know each other on a personal level…” Her words trailed off as she struggled with what to say.
Since that night, how many times had she called herself all types of fool? She loved her babies more than anything in the world. Yet, she’d been totally reckless that night and had put herself in what could’ve been a dangerous situation.
Zion covered her hand with his again, but this time he didn’t pull back. Instead, he held and squeezed her hand, forcing her to look at him.
“I don’t know what’s going through that gorgeous head of yours but not getting your full name and telephone number that night is my biggest regret. There hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought about you. I would’ve tried to find you if I had a little more information.”
“You don’t have to say that. I know what that night—”
“That night ended up being more than just a hookup for me. We connected on a level that I hadn’t experienced before. I don’t believe in love at first sight or soulmates, but if I did, that night would’ve sealed it for me.
“So just know, meeting you and spending the night with you wasn’t a mistake in my book.”
Raven sat speechless as she stared down at their joined hands. She wanted more than anything to believe Zion because that’s how she felt too. She was surprised the feeling was mutual.
Before the babies had been born, she struggled to forgive herself from being so reckless. But the first time she held the two of them in her arms, everything changed. She had no regrets about getting with Zion or their slip up. Ultimately, it had been the best thing that ever happened to her.
Raven still remembered how it had been when she first looked into their sweet faces. It made her want to find Zion for more reasons than one. She not only wanted him to know they had kids together, but she also wanted to thank him.
She squeezed his hand before pulling out of his light grip. “Thank you for saying that. It means a lot. I’ll admit, I thought I was just another soft body to you. I thought my feelings were irrational because I felt that same connection. I also thought maybe it was just in my head, and I had gotten caught up in the thrill of the evening.
“But after finding out I was pregnant, I won’t lie, I cursed you to hell and back.” She laughed, and he did too. “But then when NayNay and Drew were born, I can’t begin to explain how my heart swelled at the sight of them. Thank you for giving me the most precious gifts I’ve ever received. Those two are truly the best things that have ever happened to me.”
When he glanced away, Raven realized what she’d said.
“Wait. I’m sorry. I know you don’t think they are yours, and I shouldn’t have said—”
“No, it’s okay.” He opened his mouth to say more, but he closed it again and rubbed the back of his neck. “I…”
“Okay, here you go,” their server said as she and another server began setting several dishes in the middle of the table. Everything from dumplings, Chinese spareribs, egg rolls, to shrimp fried rice covered the tabletop.
Raven hadn’t realized just how much Zion had ordered. She was starving, but there was no way she’d be able to eat half the food that’s on the table.
“That’s a lot of food,” Raven said when the server walked away.
Zion chuckled. “I’m a big eater, and whatever we don’t finish, we can just take with us.”
They dug in and as they ate, silence fell between them. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, and once again, being with Zion felt normal. Spookishly so. She could honestly say she’d never felt this way with Maximus. It would’ve been the biggest mistake of her life if she’d said “yes” when he asked her to marry him.
“Tell me about your ex,” Zion said as if knowing she was thinking about Maximus. “And don’t say there’s nothing to tell. I have a feeling there’s a lot to say about him. How about we start with—how’d you meet him?”
Raven stared across the table, debating on what to tell him. Like earlier, she opted for the truth.
“His name is Maximus, and he used to be my boss.”
Zion’s brows lifted skyward, but he didn’t say anything, so she continued.
“Trust me, I had no intention of ever dating my boss. Lunches together turned into dinner and drinks, and within six months, we’d become an item. But when our relationship started getting serious, I asked to be moved to a different department.
“Surprisingly, Maximus agreed and gave me the administrative manager position that had recently opened up. I oversaw all support staff. The hiring, firing, training, monitoring expenses, and the list went on. I loved my job, but about a year into our relationship, Maximus changed. Or maybe he was the same, and it took me that long to notice some troubling things about him.”
“Like what?” Zion asked, sipping his drink.
“Like how controlling and manipulative he was, and he could be mean while smiling in someone’s face. He wasn’t necessarily mean to me, but I didn’t miss the way he treated others, either at work or whenever we went out. He’s not a nice guy, and it took me awhile to see the real him. He lacked empathy, and he acted like just because he was wealthy, people should kiss his butt.”
“What type of business does he own?” Zion asked between bites.
“A petroleum company. The organization drills and produces oil.”
Zion nodded. Again, silence fell between them as they continued eating, and Raven welcomed it. She knew he had more questions. Or at least she sensed he did, but for whatever reason, he didn’t ask them. She wholly expected him to ask her why she was trying to get away from Maximus, but he didn’t.
She glanced up when he took a sip of his drink, and his unreadable gaze was steady on her. He set the glass down and then ran his hand over his mouth.
“So, are you sure this Maximus guy is not the father of your kids?”
Shocked by the question, all Raven could do was stare at him. She was a fool. Nothing had changed. Zion still didn’t believe her despite Andrew being a spitting image of him.
So, what was all this? What was the point of him asking her out? What was all that about when he helped her get Andrew situated before leaving for the restaurant?
“I’m positive the kids are yours,” she seethed, fighting back the emotion threatening to strangle her.
She was so tired of this. So tired of everything. Things that had to do with Zion, as well as her life in general. She just needed a break and probably some uninterrupted sleep. The last few months of going it alone was starting to catch up to her, and she was tired.
“I haven’t been with anyone but you,” she continued. “But you know what, Zion? You don’t have to believe me. You’ll find out soon enough. I’m done trying to convince you or anyone else for that matter.”
She struggled to hold back the stupid tears that were suddenly threatening to fall and wiped her mouth with the cloth napkin. After tossing it on the table, she gathered her purse and coat, then stood.
“Thanks for dinner. I’ll find my own way back to the B & B.”