Robert Gray
Both of my kids were crying, and the shit was giving me a headache. Lately, I had been staying the night at the club, just so I could get away from all the noise, including my nagging ass baby momma. She was still trippin’ about Ava poppin’ up on us. We literally argued about that shit every day.
Truth be told, Kelcy knew about Ava. She didn’t know we were married and had a child, but she knew we were dealing with each other.
Kelcy was my best friend. We’d been through a lot of shit together, and she had been holding me down for years.
Why didn’t I marry her? Well, I didn’t see her as wifey material.
Although she was doing everything a wife is supposed to do, she just wasn’t the one I wanted to give my last name to.
Kelcy was one of those women who I had to have around because she was my peace in a sense.
Ava was, too, in a way, but not completely.
I respected both women, but for some reason, I respected Kelcy a little more.
However, I didn’t love her the way I loved Ava.
I truly fell in love with Ava. She was the only female who was able to break me down and get me to commit, or at least attempt to.
“I don’t understand why you just won’t sign the fuckin’ papers!” Kelcy yelled at me.
That’s why the damn kids were hollerin’ because she wanted to argue.
Little did she know, I was about to bounce because I wasn’t trying to hear any of that shit.
When those papers were served, I was enraged.
I found it funny how that white muthafucka called himself forcing me to sign some shit, then she turned around to request another signature.
I didn’t give a damn. The word divorce wasn’t in my vocabulary.
“Because that’s my bitch until the day we leave this fuckin’ Earth. I’m tired of you asking me the same shit. If you don’t like it, pack yo’ shit and get the fuck out of my house.”
I was tired of listening and watching her cry. The shit wasn’t moving me at all because I truly didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was getting my original family back. I figured the more hell I raised in Ava’s life, the quicker she’d give in to make it all stop.
“Why are you treating me like this? Apparently, you’ve been giving me the short end of the stick for years. I’ve been the one holding you down, Rob, through everything. Me! Not that bitch!”
My head whipped around so damn fast that it cracked. I stalked over and snatched her up by the throat.
“What, bitch? Hmm? You don’t ever speak on her. You understand that?” I tossed her on the floor like a rag doll.
“I hate you! I hate you so much!” she cried. “You’re a coward! You made all these promises that you had no intention of keeping. You begged me to have your kids, and I did! And you’re going to treat me like this and put your hands on me?”
Out of all the years that I’d known Kelcy, she’d never seen the evil side of me.
Yeah, I did put a little pressure on her to have my baby.
After Ava had Savannah, I wanted to try again for a boy.
But Ava was too caught up in being depressed and was barely wanting to give a nigga any pussy.
That’s when Kelcy came back into my world, and we had our baby girl, Kamaya.
I was disappointed, but she was willing to try again.
Thankfully, the second time around, she gave birth to my baby boy, Kingston.
While she was pregnant with him, that’s when she found out about Ava.
I had told her I was going to break things off for good, so we could live as a happy family.
I was lying my ass off, though. I didn’t give a damn how toxic my marriage was.
Leaving Ava was the last thing I’d ever do. But, of course, Kelcy believed me.
“Either you gonna leave me or shut the fuck up and tend to those kids. I’m tired of hearing all that crying and shit.
I love you, and you love me, but I’m never coming up off my wife.
I don’t give a fuck what you’re talking about or what she’s talking about.
I don’t care! Stop talking about it and just stay in your place.
Worry about taking care of my fuckin kids and not all this other shit I have going on that doesn’t concern you! ”
“How does that not concern me? We’re in a full-blown relationship, and I’m just finding out that you got married behind my fuckin back!” she cried.
I was starting to get a headache. As she continued to bitch and nag, I grabbed up my keys and walked out on her ass before I put her head through the wall.
I was trying to become a changed man, but these bitches were making it hard for a nigga.
When I hopped in my car, I turned the radio all the way up as Finesse2tymes played.
I had moves to make, and I prayed they worked out for the best.
I had been following Ava around for the past few days.
I’d been waiting to get her alone, so we could talk.
Since the day she pulled up unexpectedly, and jumped me with her hoe ass sister.
I’m not going to lie, that made me want to work shit out even more.
Ava showed me a side of her that I’d never seen before and I liked it.
Since I’ve been following her, I couldn’t help but notice the brand new car she was sporting around town.
I knew damn well she didn’t go out and buy it herself.
To me, that only meant whatever she had going on with that white boy was getting serious.
That didn’t sit too well with me which was why I thought to give her one more chance to come to her senses.
Truth be told, I missed the fuck out of Ava.
After sitting alone for a few hours, I finally began to see how I took her for granted, and I needed a do-over.
Everything couldn’t have been that great between the two because I noticed she was no longer staying at that expensive ass townhouse.
Instead, she’d been spending her nights at Aja’s.
What sense did it make for a nigga to buy her a fuckin Maybach but not put her up in a house of her own as well? Yea, I needed to get my bitch back.
For two hours, I sat in my car a few houses down to watch Aja’s place.
Both her car and Ava’s car were parked in the driveway.
The moment I saw Aja come out with her kid and get in the car, I knew it was my time.
As soon as they pulled out, I waited a good five minutes before I pulled in.
I was nervous, and that wasn’t like me. I needed my woman back, and I prayed we could meet somewhere in the damn middle.
I also prayed that I could keep my temper in check.
I needed Ava to believe that I was a changed man.
I rang the doorbell twice and waited patiently for Ava to answer.
I could hear her talking to someone as she approached the door.
She must’ve been on the phone because I heard her say, “Goodbye.” When the door opened, she stood before me with a scowl on her face.
That was expected because I knew damn well she didn’t want to see me.
She didn’t bother to part her lips as she tried to slam the door in my face. My foot prevented her from doing so.
“Ava, we need to talk.”
“No! You need to get the hell away from me!” She raised her voice.
“Listen, I just want to apologize and explain myself.”
“Fuck you. Fuck your apology. And fuck your explanation. You went behind my back and created a whole other family. There’s no explaining that shit, Robert. You were already hurting me physically. There’s no explanation for that either.”
I already felt like shit, but her words made it worse. The pain in her eyes ripped my heart apart.
“I’m sorry for everything, baby. Truly, I am. I want to fix this between us. I’ll go to counseling. I’ll stop drinking. I’ll do whatever you want me to do to make this right. I love you. I love Savannah. I need us to get back to where we were.”
“Nigga you don’t love me and you don’t love my daughter.
I would never go back to where we once were.
It was a fuckin’ nightmare. Every day. You don’t love me, Robert.
The words sound good coming out of your mouth, but they mean nothing.
I have permanent scars on my body because of you. That’s not love.”
“I’ma do better. I’ve been working on being a better man solely for you. I just need you to give me one more chance.” I felt my eyes begin to burn.
“I’m all out of chances.”
I stood quietly to allow her words to marinate mentally.
“So, that’s it? You… you expect me to just get a divorce and move on? What about Savannah?” I asked, wiping the tears from my eyes.
“I would never keep Savannah away from you. I’m not some evil bitch, looking to go tit for tat or trying to hold a grudge against you.
You’re the reason for all of this, not me.
But let's be real, you don’t care to spend time with Savannah.
You barely wanted to be bothered with her living under the same roof. ” She rolled her eyes.
“All I want is peace.” She paused. “We can figure something out when it comes to Savannah. But honestly…never mind. We can work something out when the time is right.”
“You mean as we move forward with this divorce?” I eyed her.
“Yeah.”
I had to laugh to keep from tweaking on her ass.
“You really wanna do this?” I asked, swiping my nose with the tip of my thumb. “Is it because you’re fuckin’ that white boy or what? Is he in your ear, telling you what to do?”
“He doesn’t have anything to do with my decisions. I had my mind made up before I even met him.”
“Which made it easy for you to start fuckin’ him, right?” I could feel my temperature rise.
“We’re not about to stand here and discuss who I’m fuckin’.”
“I don’t see why not. I had the pleasure of seeing your little video. That shit hurt, Ava,” I admitted.
“I’m glad it did,” she boldly stated.
That shit shocked me because she wasn’t giving no fucks or trying to sympathize with my feelings.
I could no longer see the fear in her eyes.
I was talking to a different woman. I could see plain as day that she wasn’t the same woman I married and took advantage of.
In a sense, I felt a little proud that she was finally growing a stronger backbone.
She wasn’t allowing me to walk all over her, and that turned me on.
I wasn’t about to continue speaking on white boy.
I had my own personal beef with him that would be handled sooner rather than later.
“I love you, Ava. All this shit about filing for divorce wasn’t a part of our vows.” I changed the subject.
“Yeah, and neither was putting your hands on me. You weren’t trying to change then, and I don’t think you’re trying to change now.
I think you’re finally starting to realize that you lost the best thing that happened in your life.
All of a sudden, you want me and want to do right by me.
Why? Because you see someone stepping up to take your place?
Because you see that I’m flourishing without you?
Which you probably thought couldn’t happen, but I am.
The vows that we made are no longer valid, so I don’t want to hear about them.
I don’t want to hear about me being involved with another man.
I’ve given you everything. All of me. You chose not to handle me with care.
You chose to take me for granted. I should’ve walked away from you a long time ago, but I couldn’t because I was blinded by love.
I genuinely loved you, Robert. But you never loved me. ”
For the first time, I actually stood and listened to every word she spoke.
I took it in and allowed it to register in my brain and in my heart.
She was half way right. I did make those decisions because I thought I had control over her.
I thought I could do whatever I wanted, and she’d never leave me.
I thought I planted enough fear in her heart to never have that type of courage, but I was wrong.
When it came to loving her, I did and still do.
I was going to fight for my marriage despite what the hell she was talking about.
I knew it would take some time, but I had all the time in the world.
We would be back together again, one way or another.
“Can I see Savannah?” I asked.
“She’s taking a nap right now.”
“Can you Facetime me when she gets up? I mean, you would have to unblock me first.”
“I’ll think about it.” She shook her head. “I have to go.”
“Wait.” I grabbed her wrist.
Instantly, she snatched away like my hands were on fire. I held up both hands in surrender to let her know I wasn’t trying to be aggressive or anything like that.
“By the end of the month, I want us to meet up and go over all this shit. I want us to actually sit down and talk like two adults. Cool?”
She didn't even say anything. She just closed the door in my face, leaving me standing alone.