Chapter 23
SHELBY
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I’m outside the next day, exercising, when Mom comes out. She stands with her hands on her hips, glaring at me.
Out of breath, I stop doing sit-ups. “Do you need something?”
“I’ve been watching you work out and wondering how you could be my child,” she sneers.
My eyebrows shoot up. “I’m not sure what you want me to say.”
“I’m not surprised. You only think of yourself.” She purses her lips. “Spending Christmas together this year was important to me.”
Silently, I fold my arms on top of my raised knees to listen.
She stands over me, her face twisted with disgust. “After your racing accident, I picked you up and brought you here like I was supposed to. I’ve been patient and dealt with your attitude toward me, but I’m not sure why I bothered when you don’t want to act like a good daughter.”
“You can’t force it, Mom.” I scrape back my sweaty hair. “Years of bad things have happened between us. And then you showed up, acting like the perfect mother, but that doesn’t change what happened in the past. You can’t just sweep everything under the rug.”
I blow out a long breath, trying to stifle the rising anger. “Our talks were moving us in the right direction, but when I returned after Roger kidnapped me, all you wanted was the perfect family Christmas. I was hurting, and you didn’t listen or care about what I needed.”
She picks at her nails. “There was a reason.”
I stand so she no longer towers over me. “Then why didn’t you tell me the reason?”
“I shouldn’t have to explain why being together as a family is important,” she huffs. “After all that I’ve been through, I deserve happiness. Who knows how long I have left on this planet? I wanted you to move on and be better.”
Frustrated, I run my hand down my face. “I understand you were trying to help, but I can’t just move on from what happened to me. Your time in NA should have taught you that it’s not that easy.”
“So instead, you ran off to Hawaii with your boyfriends and friends. You could be better for them, but not for your own mother?” She taps her chest.
“You’re pissed off that they helped me, and you couldn’t? They weren’t with me the whole time. Cam showed up a couple of weeks after I left, and the rest joined us for spring break.”
“I’m your mom! It should’ve been me you came to!” She pounds her fist against her chest with each word. “You let people you barely know help you, but not me. And you won’t tell me what happened! I deserve to know!”
“You want to know what happened to me, Mom?” I glare at her as I step closer. “I was sexually abused and almost raped. Are you happy now?”
Her hand flies to her mouth. “Oh my God, Shelby. I…didn’t.”
“You wouldn’t listen to a damn thing I said before I left,” I argue. “And since I’ve been back, all you do is criticize me for everything.”
“You didn’t try hard enough.” She sniffs.
This isn’t going anywhere other than around in circles. “What do you want me to say, Mom?”
She waves her hand through the air. “Nothing you say will excuse how you’ve behaved since I brought you into my home.”
A door shuts from inside the house.
“Shelby?” Peter calls out. “Patty?”
Mom glares at me as Peter approaches us.
“I have a headache, Shelby.” She grabs her head. “I’m trying to help you. You don’t have to talk to me like that.”
She turns and covers her mouth, eyes wide. “Hey, baby.”
The pet name raises my and Peter’s eyebrows.
“I’m going to lie down.” She kisses him.
When they stop, Peter’s face is red, and he avoids eye contact with me. Mom disappears into the house.
“Did she tell you?” His features soften.
My brow pops up. “Tell me what?”
He runs his fingers through his hair. “She didn’t. Dammit, Patty.”
I take a step closer. “What’s going on with my mom? She’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.”
He chews on his bottom lip and sighs. “I’m sorry, Shelby. I can’t tell you. I made a promise to your mother.”
“Okay.”
I go back to my exercising, and he enters the house.
While in Hawaii, it gave me a chance to think about how Mom treated me. I tried to convince myself she acted the way she did when I came home from the hospital because she was scared and worried about my well-being. But her actions and words since I’ve returned make me re-evaluate.
She wants to hurt me. Which is and isn’t a surprise.
It takes longer than I thought it would to find a part-time job stocking shelves at the local grocery store.
The job isn’t glamorous, but it puts money in the bank. When I’m not working, I study for my GED.
Luke comes over three times a week to work on my karate. The guys join me when I have free time, which, thanks to my work schedule, is after school hours and on weekends. They’ve each taken me on dates and even spent the night a few times.
At first, I worried about what my mom would say, but since our talk, her friends monopolize her time.
As I finish my shift and walk to my bike, every hair on my body stands on end. Roger’s somewhere nearby.
I scan the parking lot, then beyond. He stands across the street with his hands in his pockets. I reach into my pocket and grab my knife, which I’ve returned to carrying.
I walk toward him, but Dom’s face flashes through my mind. I stop at the edge of the parking lot.
Two sidewalks and a street stretch between us.
Roger gives me one of his creepy smiles. “I didn’t want you to think I forgot about you.”
“I thought you were done with me. After all, you gave me to Evan,” I say, no emotion on my face or in my voice.
I’m not giving him the pleasure of thinking he affects me.
His entire demeanor changes, and he grits his teeth together. “I’ll have to pay you back for his death. I can’t have you thinking you can misbehave. Now, can I? And, while that may be true, I told him he could play with you, but he took privileges he wasn’t supposed to.”
Bile surges up my throat, but I choke it back. The traffic between us picks up, and when it clears again, he’s gone. I scan the area for a few more minutes to ensure he’s not lurking nearby.
As I head back to my bike, I consider calling one of the guys, but they’re in school and can’t afford any absences.
Hopping on Serenity, I pull my helmet on.
Part of me wants to peel out of the parking lot, putting as much distance between myself and Roger as possible. But I don’t.
I ride home at a slow speed, checking my surroundings to ensure I’m not followed, but Roger has other ways to find where I live.
When I pull into the driveway, I sag against the handlebars of my bike, my breath sawing in and out of me, on the brink of a panic attack. I need to calm down, or I’ll pass out in the driveway.
If Roger knows where I live and followed me without me noticing, he could grab me. Without closing my eyes because I’m too scared to after running into Roger, I picture Cam in my mind. He talked me through quite a few panic attacks in Hawaii.
“Breathe, beautiful,” he says. “That’s right. In through your nose and out through your mouth.”
My eyes drop to his mouth.
Giving me enough time to back away, he leans forward and seals his lips to mine. The kiss starts light, but soon, he dominates my mouth, his hand slipping to the back of my head, holding me while his tongue pillages my mouth.
Backing away, he smirks at me while I gape at him, panting for a different reason.
Kissing someone stops a panic attack, as it forces you to hold your breath.
I blinked at him for a second before realizing it worked.
My breathing becomes easier, and my heart rate slows. As I climb off my bike, my legs shake, but at least I stay standing.
I hurry inside the house, locking the door behind me. No one else is home, so I walk to my room and close my door. Not wanting to wallow, I decide to keep my mind on something else, so I crack open my study books for my GED.
I’m so focused on studying that I don’t notice when Nick comes home. He pushes my door open before knocking on my doorframe, causing me to jump.
He raises his eyebrow at me in question. “Hi, how was your day?”
I wave him in, my other hand hovering over my racing heart.
“What happened?” He sits on my couch.
I turn in my seat. “When I finished work and headed out to my bike, I felt like someone was watching me. I checked the parking lot, then across the street. Roger stood there.”
“Fuck. Did he say anything?”
I tell him what transpired. “On my way home, I checked to make sure I wasn’t followed, but I’m sure he knows where I live already.”
Nick pushes up his glasses. “We have to tell the guys.”
“I planned to once you were out of school,” I say. “I didn’t want you rushing to me if you couldn’t do anything.”
He chuckles.
“Besides, most of you can’t afford more absences. You need to graduate. I won’t have that on my conscience. I’ll wait until Luke arrives, then call the twins and Cam.”
Needing a topic change, I ask, “Have you thought about what you will do when high school is over?”
“I’ve told Dad about how I’ve been a guard for the Knights, but I haven’t told him I’m not going to college. Luke and I are going to start our business.” He chews his nails.
“The protection thing?” I remember him mentioning that once.
“Yes. Do you know what you’ll be doing?”
“Yes and no,” I say.
“Well, that clears things up,” he snarks.
I reach over and punch his shoulder. “Ha ha, jerk. My goal is to race again, but I have to have a side job. In the past, Cin always talked about opening a garage together. But, while I’m good with cars, I’m not mechanically inclined.”
Nick chuckles. “Oh, I’ve heard. Cin’s told me many stories of you trying to fix something and making it ten times worse.”
I mock-glare at him.
“We’ve talked about getting an apartment together.”
“My escape plan and partner-in-crime are gone.” I fake a frown. “Thanks a lot, brother.”
It must be convincing because Nick sputters, trying to find the right words.
Unable to hold back my smile anymore, I laugh at him. “Joking. I’m happy for both of you. I figured as much with how you two are together.”
Nick’s frown morphs into a sly smile. “You have four guys who would be more than willing to be your partners in crime to help you leave here and want to live with you.”
He glances pointedly down at my left ring finger.
“He’s right, Shelby. If you want to move out, one or all of us will move in with you,” Luke says from my doorway.
My hand flies to my chest, my heart racing a second time. “You scared the shit out of me. Wait, how did you get in here?”
Nick’s brow shoots up. “Was the front door unlocked?”
“Yes, why?” Luke’s face darkens.
“Shit.” We jump up.
I pull out my knife, and Nick pulls out his gun.
“With everything that happened, we lock the doors, even when we’re home. Well, Dad, Shelby, and I do. Patty isn’t as cautious,” Nick says.
Luke’s body stiffens a bit. “Okay, maybe Patty came home and didn’t lock the door behind her?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so. She hasn’t come to pay me her daily visit, where she tells me everything I’ve done wrong.”
Nick looks at me before turning back to Luke. “Roger paid Shelby a visit after work today.”
Luke’s face hardens. He pulls out his gun and nods toward Nick.
They search the house, and I follow behind them, but stay out of their way.
When we reach the hallway to the primary bedroom, the rustling of paper and other objects is faint inside the room.
Luke glances over his shoulder, and Nick nods. Luke takes a breath, then kicks open the door.
He points his gun in the room. “Freeze!”
Nick sweeps around him to do the same.
A high-pitched female scream pierces the air before I walk through the door.
“What the hell?” Mom yells with her hand on her chest.
Her eyes are glazed in an expression I haven’t seen since she went to rehab and I was shipped off to Ashland. She shoves things back into her purse.
Nick lowers his gun. “Sorry, Patty, we thought you were Roger.”
Luke does the same. “Sorry, Mrs. Tate.”
“Why the hell would you think I’m Roger?” she shouts.
“We thought you were out, and the front door was left unlocked.” Nick holsters his gun.
“Plus, Roger waited for me after work,” I tell her.
“So, every time I come home, I’m going to have a gun in my face because you have issues?” she snarls.
The guys stiffen, and Luke’s mouth opens to say something.
I place my hands on their arms and shake my head. “No, Mom. But it wouldn’t hurt to make sure you yell that you’re home whenever you enter the house. At least for a while.”
I pull a seething Luke toward the door with me.
“Also, lock the door behind yourself,” Nick commands. “That’s just common sense after what happened to your daughter and Hannah.”
“Fine, you’re right,” she says.
I turn back to her, impressed that Nick’s words got through to my mom.
She picks up a picture of her and my step-sister. “After Hannah’s ordeal, we should be more cautious.”
Luke lunges toward her, and my grip tightens to stop him.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go take a shower.” She sets the picture down and turns, dismissing us.
“Sorry for scaring you,” Nick says again, less sincere than the first time.
We step out into the hall and stop to process what just happened.
From inside the bedroom, my mom mumbles, “I can’t even come into my own house anymore.”
Her purse rattles like she’s digging through it again.
Unable to help myself, I motion for the guys to stay in the hallway and stride back through the bedroom door.
The contents of my mom’s purse lay on the bed, and she roots through everything, tossing items on the floor.
“Where is it?” She pounds her fist on the bed.
I have a feeling I know what she’s searching for and cough to gain her attention.
She spins, her features smooth until her eyes land on me, and she scowls. “What?”
I decide to take the high road. “I’m sorry we scared you.”
She huffs, her shoulders relaxing when I don’t call her out on what she’s doing.
“You aren’t taking what happened to me seriously, but you need to be careful.” Since she’s predictable about what will trigger a reaction, I add, “Peter will be upset if something happens to you.”
She stops to think over my words. “Should I be worried about Roger coming after me now that you’re home?”
Wow, thanks for the concerns, Mom.
“I don’t know. He’s unhinged.”
With the topic no longer focused on her, she crosses her arms and purses her lips, waiting for me to leave.
“Have your phone with you, and watch for anything unusual. And like Nick said, lock the door after yourself, even when you’re home.”
“I will. I wouldn’t want him to kidnap me.” She shoos me away.
Sighing, I turn, leave her room, and head back to mine, Luke and Nick following me.
Luke pulls me into his arms. “Is your mom all right?”
“I’m not sure, but I don’t have the energy to think about that. I need to call Cam and the twins to see if they can come over.” I grab my phone and sink onto my bed.
Luke, Nick, and I take seats on my couch, while Cam sits on Mav’s lap in one of the chairs.
Dom, who stands like he always does, crosses his arms. “What’s going on, Firefly?”
I tell them how Roger was waiting for me across the street.
“What did he say?” Cam shivers, and Mav wraps his arms around him.
“He a…” I lick my dry lips.
“It’s all right. We’re right here.” Luke pulls me onto his lap.
“He didn’t want me to forget about him,” I say.
“Like you could, the bastard,” Mav bites out.
Dom’s face reddens, but at least he’s waiting until I finish before he blows his top.
Cam looks me over with concern. “Did he say anything else, Princess?”
“I told him that I didn’t think he cared about me, anymore, since he gave me to Evan.” I take a deep breath and run my hands down my thighs. “He said he’ll get me back for killing Evan.”
Dom paces the living room, his face twisted with rage. “You aren’t allowed to leave this house without one of us being with you.”
“Dom—”
He thrusts out his hand to stop me. “I don’t want to hear it. If you want to go out, one of us has to be there.”
Luke hugs me tighter.
“Hey, knucklehead.” Mav peers around Cam. “How is that going to work when we’re in school?”
Dom puffs out his chest. “We’ll alternate days off.”
About to tell Dom to go to hell, I remembered what he said at the airport about being scared of losing me.
I run my hand down my face and exhale a deep breath.
“Enough!” I wait for everyone to calm down. “I understand you’re all worried about something happening to me, but I have to live my life.”
I lean forward on Luke’s lap. “How about a compromise? I’ll call Cam on my way to and from work.”
“That just means that if something happens, he won’t be around to help you!” Dom throws up his arms.
I stand and walk over to touch his chest. “Trust that I can take care of myself.”
“Plus, you’re forgetting— Sorry for saying this…” Mav glances at Nick. “But having one of us with her didn’t stop Roger from taking her last time.”
Dom runs his hand down his face before he looks down at me. “The thought of him getting you again keeps me up at night. I want a group text when you leave the house, arrive at work, then leave to go home.”
“Deal.”