13. Chester
Chester
J ust this morning, I’d been unloading my secret desires about what I wouldn’t give for a night of pleasure with Finn.
Dreaming of how it might feel to have his undivided attention for a few hours.
Scheming ways I could bring it up to him.
Ways that didn’t involve me tripping over my own tongue or dissolving into a panic attack.
Then what happens? He comes into my shop and asks me to help him win someone else over for the very thing I’m dying for.
It was fine. This was fine. I was fine.
I wasn’t. But really, what was I supposed to do about it? Finn had his attention set on someone else already. I had to be fine with it. It wasn’t appropriate for me to be anything else.
If I were being completely honest, it wasn’t like I ever would’ve worked up the courage to hit on Finn. He was too gorgeous. Too charming. Too…everything.
I wouldn’t even have known where to start with him.
If I’d ended up in bed with him, I probably would’ve done something wrong, just as I used to with Matt.
It wasn’t just him either. None of the men I’d been with had left my bed particularly enthused.
Not through my lack of trying, believe me.
I always seemed to ruin the moment though. Somehow.
Despite knowing all that, I couldn’t disguise the sick jealousy rolling in my stomach as I went through the motions.
There was no escaping the shattering of my fantasies.
Okay, they were far-fetched fantasies, but I liked them.
Imagining a night with Finn had kept me company on many lonely evenings of late.
It was a shame someone else was going to live out my fantasy. A shame, but not a surprise.
A pettier person than I would make this bouquet into a disaster. Sadly, I wasn’t particularly petty. I was too much of a perfectionist to do anything other than my very best. I kept reminding myself of the facts.
Finn is a customer.
He’s placed an order.
This isn’t personal.
It’s business.
That final one had me squaring my shoulders. This was business. My business. A business I was extremely proud of.
Finn would get my best work, just as all my customers did.
I surveyed my stock with pursed lips, mentally starting to build the bouquet. The language of flowers had always fascinated me. You could convey so many feelings without having to say a single word. Finn had been clear about the message he was trying to send. Desire. Longing. Attraction.
Whoever these flowers were for, he was a lucky bastard. I hoped he knew. These flowers should reinforce that. Even if he didn’t understand the meaning behind the individual blooms, the gesture itself was so sweet it should make his heart ache.
Just as it had mine when Finn told me.
Now it was up to me to make a bouquet worthy of Finn. Of his feelings towards this man. I could do this.
I chose red roses, obviously. Tulips—red again. White camellias. A couple of tall calla lilies. I stood back and eyed it thoughtfully. Heliotrope would be just the thing to finish this off, but I wasn’t sure eternal love and devotion were the messages Finn wanted to send.
Not yet, anyway.
My stomach swooped at the thought that he might one day. If things went well with this man, he might come in asking for other flowers. Ones implying he wanted forever instead of one night. I tried to imagine how it would feel making up those arrangements.
Probably not much better than this.
You’re being ridiculous, I told myself as I veered away from the heliotropes and towards the sweet peas. Blissful pleasure sounded more like what Finn was after.
Again, lucky fucking bastard, whoever he was.
A yellow hyacinth caught my eye and I shook my head with a wry chuckle. No, jealousy was not something Finn needed in his bouquet. It didn’t matter that he wouldn’t know why I’d included it.
I’d know. And like I said, I wasn’t that petty.
When it was done, I stepped back and sighed just as Reid walked back in. “What’s wrong?”
“What?” I turned my head in his direction.
“You sighed.” He gestured at the arrangement. “Is something wrong with it? It looks perfect to me.”
“It is perfect,” I said glumly. “One of my best creations. ”
“Red roses, tulips, camellias,” Reid mused. “Someone’s getting lucky tonight.”
“Finn’s date,” I said sourly before stiffening. “Forget I said that, completely unprofessional.”
Reid’s brows shot up. “Wait, Finn ordered those?”
“Yes, and he’ll be here to collect them shortly.” I picked up the bouquet, taking care to not bruise any of the petals. I glanced back over my shoulder to see Reid scowling at the flowers. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He shook himself before giving me a tight smile. “Just confused about something.”
“Okay.” I sighed again. Any more of that and they could hire me to inflate hot air balloons. “Can you clean up in here for me please?”
Now Reid was the one sighing dramatically. “I see how it is. You make the mess, I clean it up. Just call me Cinderella.”
The bell went in the shop, signalling Finn’s arrival. “I don’t think Cinderella took two-hour lunch breaks.”
I didn’t wait for his response, striding through to greet the man who’d been haunting far too many of my sleeping hours. And my waking ones. Hopefully handing over this bouquet, knowing what it was for, would relegate him back to the box he should never have left.
The one marked ‘Do not touch or even consider touching.’
“Hello.” I wasn’t sure which was falser—my cheery tone or my smile. “Your arrangement is ready for you. I hope your man is suitably…pleased.”
God, I sounded so fake. Could Finn tell?
That thought made me want to curl up and die. I could almost imagine him telling this story to the flawless man he was off to meet. The two of them laughing over my blatant jealousy and the ridiculous notion that someone like me could ever be worthy of Finn.
Finn’s gorgeous lips twisted up in amusement. “I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”
I schooled my expression as I pushed the bouquet in Finn’s direction and told him the price. Just as with the first display he ordered, I added a discount. I wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t good for business and I didn’t do it with anyone else.
Maybe it was my silent way of thanking him for making me feel a little more alive, even if I was too scared to do anything about it.
He tapped his phone on the card machine and I nodded when the payment was approved. “Do you need a receipt?”
“Nope.” Finn grinned broadly as he examined the flowers. I couldn’t help but wish he’d hurry up and leave. It was all very well taking the high road instead of giving in to my petty, jealous impulses, but did I need to have my face rubbed in what I was missing?
Like Finn’s chest. Or his thighs. I’d love to have my face rubbed in those.
“I’m certain he’s going to love them,” Finn continued, fortunately missing the fact I was now furiously blushing. Again. “Can ye talk me through the different flowers and what they mean please?”
I stiffened my shoulders and pasted on my professional smile. “Of course. I’d be delighted.” I came around the counter so we were both facing the bouquet. “I’m sure you’re familiar with roses.”
“Aye. I thought they were more for true love. See them everywhere for Valentine’s Day.”
“They can be.” I reached out to run my finger over a petal. “But they also signify desire. Carnal lust. ”
I glanced up to find Finn’s hooded eyes on my mouth.
“That’s good,” he rasped, not looking away. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was transfixed. “What else?”
“Ah…the tulips.” I touched one lightly. “Again, can be used for love, but passion is the main symbolism.”
I raced through the others as quickly as I could.
I had to. I couldn’t focus on anything with him standing this close.
All I could smell was him. Some combination of salt and forest that made me wonder what cologne he wore.
It was intoxicating, and making it very difficult to remember that I was supposed to be professional.
His arm brushed against mine as he bent forward to sniff at a rose. Such a simple touch, but my body responded as though I’d been shocked with electricity.
“What about the calla lilies?”
“Beauty,” I whispered. Were we standing closer now? I didn’t recall moving, but suddenly he was right there, his full lips so close I could almost feel the heat of his breath. “They symbolise beauty.”
“That’s good, because the man in question is exceedingly beautiful.”
His words had me slamming back to reality. I jerked away, taking two full steps back. “Excellent.”
Finn’s brow was contorted in confusion, not seeming to understand my meaning.
“Excellent because that means they suit him,” I said, aiming for pleased instead of strained. “I’m glad I’ve caught what you intended for this bouquet.”
Finn’s face softened as his grin reappeared. “Ye certainly have.”
I gave him a tight smile. “I wish you all the best with him, Finn.”
“Good.” He looked far too cheerful. “I can’t wait to give them to him. He’s going to love them. Knows far more than me about flowers too, so this is perfect. He’ll know exactly what I’m hinting at.”
I nodded towards the door. “Best get them to him before they start to wilt.”
That was a lie. I’d packed them in enough water and feed to keep them healthy for days. But I needed Finn gone. I knew I had no right to be feeling this level of jealousy, but I was.
I didn’t like it. I’d never been a jealous or possessive man. Something about Finn was changing me. I didn’t like that. I’d changed enough for one man already.
Never again.
But then, Finn did something completely unexpected.
“Oh, you’re right, I didn’t think of that.” He picked up the bouquet gingerly before holding them out to me. “Here.”
My mind went blank. What was he doing? “Huh?”
His smile was almost shy. “These are for you, Chester.”
My hands moved on autopilot, accepting the bouquet. I stared at the flowers, the various meanings still ringing in my ears. Desire. Lust. Passion.
Beauty.
“I’m sorry,” I said faintly. “I don’t think I’ve had enough caffeine today. What’s happening right now?”
Finn chuckled, raising his hand to touch my cheek. This time, I was certain there was no dirt there. “This is my clumsy way of hitting on ye, Chester. The flowers are for you.”
I swallowed around the sudden lump in my throat.
“Was this not a good idea?” Finn shuffled his feet anxiously. “Course it wasn’t. Ye have a whole shop full of fucking flowers. It’s cheesy, isn’ t it.”
It was official. I was speechless. I’d been back there, tearing myself apart with jealousy, and they’d been for me all along.
Me. Finn wanted to hook up with me.
His words from earlier came rushing back.“ But this man is special. ”
Special. Finn thought I was special.
“ He deserves to be treated like a king, even if it’s just for one night. ”
How was this happening? Had it only been this morning when I’d been wistfully telling Buddy how desperately I wanted this very thing?
I’ve spent so long living in fear, afraid to step out of the shadows and take what I wanted.
No more.
I was silent as I put the arrangement back on the counter. Once it was safely situated, I faced Finn once more.“Nobody’s ever bought me flowers before.”
Then I kissed him.