18. Chester
Chester
I was floating on air as I went about my work for the day. There’d been no visit from Buddy, but I didn’t feel his absence as keenly as I might’ve done.
Not given the night I’d had.
After waking up to Finn bringing me a coffee in bed, he’d kissed me leisurely before bidding me goodbye. He hadn’t wanted to leave, but apparently he’d had an important meeting to get to.
I hadn’t even been sad to miss my morning show, not when I had the memories of how he looked up close.
The texture of his skin beneath my fingers.
The impressive strength contained in those muscles.
I remembered it all twice in bed and once in the shower.
I’d had six orgasms in less than twenty-four hours, but I wasn’t complaining.
No, it was frighteningly easy to want to get used to this. Matt had been nice at first too. Open. Giving. Funny.
It was only later that he’d shown me his true colours.
Finn isn’t Matt. He isn’t. He isn’t going to suddenly turn into an abusive arsehole.
No matter how often I reminded myself of that, it didn’t help. It was hard to persuade your brain to believe something when you had so much evidence to the contrary. I’d been with Matt too long to overwrite my neural pathways that fast.
But it was fine. So long as we moved slowly, I’d be okay. There’d be plenty of time for Finn to show if he truly was this wonderful.
I just had to make sure I didn’t fall head over heels with him first.
Given how I was whistling despite catching myself on a thorn for the third time in less than an hour, I was fucked on that front.
I’d never been good at holding myself back from relationships.
Going all in from day one had never worked out for me in the past though.
With the bullshit baggage Matt had left me with, the smart thing to do would be to take things slow.
Slow.
It was the only thing stopping me from texting Finn and inviting him over tonight. That and the meeting he’d said he needed to attend. I didn’t want to distract him while he was busy.
Busy with what though? It was only after he’d left that I’d realised I had no idea what he did for a living.
He’d come into my work on both weekdays and weekends, so maybe something that involved shifts?
Whatever it was, I was willing to bet it was something physical.
Finn didn’t seem the type to live at the gym.
He did his morning workout in the loch, for fuck’s sake.
That implied that whatever he did during the day had to be physical enough to keep him in peak shape.
The fact that I didn’t know was the one tiny cloud on my sunshine mood. It was a poignant reminder that I didn’t know Finn that well. I didn’t know anything about his past, aside from Sarah and Maria. Nothing about his family or friends. I supposed I’d met Evan, but that had been accidental.
It wasn’t an issue, per se, but it allowed me to put the brakes on, just a little. Enough to stop me doing something stupid. Like getting into a serious relationship with a man I barely knew.
Been there. Done that. Got the emotional scars to prove it.
The bell over the front door went and my heart leapt all the same. It won’t be Finn. He’s busy today, remember?
Still, the butterflies in my stomach refused to quit as I quickly washed my hands and bustled into the shop. It wouldn’t be Finn. I knew that.
Except, it was.
There, leaning against my counter, delicious forearms in view, was the man I’d been unable to get off my mind.
The smile that split my lips would’ve been embarrassing if Finn hadn’t been wearing an identical one. “Hey. I wasn’t expecting to see you today.”
“My meeting ended early,” Finn said. “Found myself at a loose end.”
I faced him from the other side of the counter, mirroring his pose. “And that loose end led you here?”
“Yep.” Finn’s tongue darted out over his lower lip, and I was hit with the memory of him running it over my lips. My neck. My cock. “Seems I’m in need of another bouquet.”
“Are you indeed?” I leant over the counter until our arms were brushing, sending small zips of electricity through me. “What’s the occasion?”
Finn shrugged, one of his hands lifting to rest on mine. “No occasion. Just something to let a man know I can’t get him off my mind. ”
God help me. Who the fuck gave the man the map to my heart? He was taking the direct route too. No diversions or U-turns for Finn. Just a one-way journey to win me over.
I couldn’t lie. It was working.
Where are your walls? My mind was screaming at my heart. Have you learned nothing?
Perhaps I hadn’t. Or perhaps Finn wasn’t the same as Matt, and therefore didn’t deserve to be treated as such.
“Flowers will definitely do that,” I said huskily. “They aren’t necessary though. I’m willing to bet the other man hasn’t been able to get you off his mind either.”
“That’s good to know.” Finn’s mouth was only inches from mine now. “But I’d still like the flowers anyway.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s worth it,” Finn said simply.
I studied his face closely, searching for any artifice, any clue that these were the same lies that had once tripped off Matt’s tongue too. But I found none. Just a bone deep sincerity that this was what he believed.
He truly thought I was worth it.
I didn’t know how that made me feel.
No. That was wrong. I knew exactly how it made me feel, I just wasn’t ready to acknowledge it just yet.
Finn misread my silence. “Only if ye can fit me in though. You might be super busy. Or not want to make your own bouquet. Fuck, should I have gone to a different florist? Maybe you don’t even like having flowers at home. Yer surrounded by them all day, after all?—”
I cut off his babbling with a kiss. I tried to pour everything I couldn’t say into it. My appreciation for his thoughtfulness. My awe and wonder at how he saw me. The luck I couldn’t believe I had that this wonderful man had taken a second glance at me .
I think Finn understood what I was trying to communicate. He relaxed into my kiss, his fingers curling in my hair as he held me to him.
When we finally broke apart, I kept my hand on his chin. “I love having flowers at home. I never think to take any, so you ordering them for me is unbelievably sweet.” I kissed him once more. “And I definitely have time to fit you in.”
“Good,” Finn breathed, his eyes twinkling. “That’s all very good.”
I released him with a chuckle and pulled out my notepad. “Okay, so what were you thinking for this piece?”
“Like I said, I want this man to know I’m thinking of him.
That I couldn’t concentrate in my meeting because I kept remembering how responsive he was to my touch—” He ran a finger up my arm, smirking as I proved his point by shivering.
“—and how beautifully he moaned my name. That I’m already counting down the hours until I can persuade him to let me into his bed again. ”
I fanned a hand in front of my face. “Um. That’s a lot of specific information for the flowers to convey.”
Finn laughed, running a hand down my burning cheek. “Aye. I have faith ye’ll come up with something great though. You always do.” His fingers paused on my face. “Add pops of blue too.”
“Blue?”
“Blue.” He stepped away with a grin. “To match his eyes.” He winked before spinning and leaving the shop.
Alone, I raised a hand to touch the spot he had.
“ To match his eyes. ”
No serious relationships. That was what I wanted.
Right?
L ater that night, I was sat in my living room, doing the same thing I’d been doing for the past hour: Staring at the beautiful bouquet of flowers from Finn. They stood beside the first bunch he’d brought me. Had that really only been yesterday?
Who’d have thought so much could change in a day?
We’d flirted some more when he’d come back in to pick them up. Well, they hadn’t technically left the shop, but he’d wanted to give them to me personally.
Be still my beating heart.
I’d tried not charging him. After all, it was silly for him to pay considering the gift was for me.
He’d argued though, insisting it couldn’t be a gift unless money exchanged hands first. He was so suave that I’d found myself handing over the card machine before I knew what was happening.
I’d had enough foresight to give him a hefty discount though, just as I had with the other orders he’d placed with me.
What Finn didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. I wasn’t even sure why I’d done it the first time—it was business, after all. But something about Finn, about how he’d spoken of Sarah and Maria, had touched me from the very start.
Or maybe it was as simple as me having a crush on him. I’d known he was special as soon as he’d stepped over the threshold of Thistle Do Nicely, it had just taken me a while to see it.
The moon was high outside but I couldn’t sleep, not with the storm rattling the house. Rain thundered against the windows while the wind whistled eerily over the loch .
I burrowed deeper into my seat and sighed. It wasn’t that I was afraid of bad weather. I wasn’t, but storms here seemed to remind me how isolated I was.
How lonely.
It was a shame Finn couldn’t come over. He’d given me the flowers along with a reminder that he was busy tonight.
Which was fine. Obviously. I wasn’t going to turn into a needy, clingy, neurotic man after one night together. Still…I couldn’t help but wish he was here right now. I’d be able to sleep if I wasn’t alone.
With dawn only a few hours away and an early visit to my suppliers on the cards, I decided I had to try and sleep. If nothing else, lying with my eyes closed might help me feel rested.
Yeah. And pigs might fly.
I went into the kitchen and pulled a glass from the cupboard. I was filling it with water when there was a scratching at the back door.
“Shit,” I yelped, almost dropping the glass as I jumped out of my skin.
A low whine was followed by more scratching. Buddy.
Hurrying over to the door, I flicked the lock and opened it. Buddy came bursting in, absolutely dripping wet. He didn’t shake until he was several feet away from me, for which I was very grateful.
It took me a second to wrestle the door closed against the wind, but finally it was shut and locked once more. “You scared the life out of me, Buddy!”
Buddy dropped to his belly, his ears drooping as he blinked up at me. I crouched to tickle behind his ears. “Don’t worry, I’m not angry at you. I’m so happy to see you.”
His tail swished across the floor happily as I continued to fuss over him. I hadn’t seen him this morning. With Finn taking up all my thoughts, I hadn’t even noticed his absence.
“Does your owner know you’re out?” I fretted. Lightning flashed, illuminating my kitchen briefly. “I’m not sending you back out in this weather. You’ll just have to stay tonight. That okay with you, Buddy?”
Buddy got to his feet and danced in a circle, tail wagging furiously.
“I’m taking that as a yes.”
Grabbing a bowl from the cupboard, I filled it with water and put it on the floor. “Just in case you get thirsty.”
Buddy glanced at it but didn’t drink, just nudged me towards the stairs.
“Okay, okay,” I laughed. “I get the message. Bedtime it is.”
When we got to the landing, I eyed Buddy’s coat. “Wait here.”
When I emerged with a fluffy towel, he hadn’t moved so much as an inch. “You’re such a good boy, aren’t you? Your owners don’t know how lucky they are to have you.” While I spoke, I rubbed his fur with the towel until he was dry. “There. All better. Now, ready for bed?”
Buddy bounded into my bedroom before sitting beside my bed and looking at me questioningly.
“You can get on the bed,” I told him. “You’re officially on ‘keeping Chester company’ duty. How does that sound to you?”
He answered me by running over and licking my hand enthusiastically.
“Such a good boy,” I cooed. “I’m just going to get ready. You curl up and get comfy.”
I retreated to the bathroom to go through my bedtime routine. Suddenly, the fatigue I’d been missing earlier was weighing heavy on my shoulders.
When I emerged, Buddy was on the bed. Helpfully, he was curled up on the side I didn’t sleep on, which meant I didn’t need to move him. Not that I would’ve. I was so grateful to have him there that I would’ve slept on the floor if that kept him happy.
Snuggling under the sheets, I lifted an arm for Buddy. He crawled closer until his warm body was pressed to mine.
The storm outside was as loud as ever, but it didn’t bother me now.
I wasn’t alone anymore.