Chapter 6
Ash
M oving day is here, and my stomach is in knots. Not only am I moving in with my—very hot—boss, but I also don’t know him very well. I’m essentially moving in with a stranger. Finn went over the basics the night he called to offer me the job, like pay, what all is expected of me, and stuff like that, but there’s still so much I don’t know. Like what if our lifestyles clash, and he ends up hating living with me?
There’s way too much room for awkwardness, but what other choice do I have? This is an incredible opportunity; both because I don’t want to live with my parents again and because I love working with kids, and getting to work with them one on one is even better. Plus, it couldn’t have come at a more perfect time.
“Ready to go?” Violet asks, swiping her sunglasses and keys off the table. She’s helping me bring all my stuff over to Finn’s. Not that I have all that much. I sold a ton, like furniture and kitchenware, this week when I went back to Portland because I don’t have a use for any of it right now.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
Vi was almost more excited than me when I called her and told her I got the job. It does feel a little weird that my new boss is her boyfriend, but maybe that means I’ll get to see her a lot during the week. It’s been years since we’ve lived in the same place, so getting to see her regularly will be nice.
The drive from Violet’s place to the ranch is only about eight minutes, but the closer we get, the more twisty my stomach gets.
“Are you excited?” my sister asks as we pull onto the long gravel road that leads to the ranch.
“Yeah, but I’m nervous too,” I admit. “Give me some tips. What are some things Tucker loves that’ll help me get on his good side.”
Vi chuckles. “I have no idea. I’ve never met him.”
My head snaps in her direction. “Wait, what?”
“Yeah, I’ve never met Finn’s son. Or his family.” She shrugs before adding, “Well, I mean, I know who they are from work, but I’ve never met them as his girlfriend.”
“Haven’t you guys been dating for a while now?”
“A couple months, yeah.” She nods, but doesn’t seem too affected by it. Not like I would be.
That’s weird.
“Does Finn know you’re coming with me today to help?” I ask as she passes the barn and the main house.
Violet shrugs. “I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him yet today. I thought you’d tell him.”
Before I have time to tell her that I haven’t talked to him today, she parks in front of his house. Showtime. Tucker is the first one out of the house, barreling through the front door and down the steps. Wearing a huge grin on his face that shows all his teeth, he’s waving at us as we climb out of my sister’s car. I drove mine back from Portland, and it’s still at her place. I’ll get it later on tonight. A few moments later, Finn follows with much less pep in his step than in his son’s.
I don’t miss the way his gaze settles on Violet’s for a long moment before slicing over to me. “Need help carrying anything in?”
“Uh, sure,” I murmur awkwardly. “Thanks. It’s not much.”
“Who are you?” Tucker asks, peering up at my sister, eyebrows crinkled together.
“I’m Violet,” she replies sweetly before Finn cuts in and adds, “She’s Ash’s sister.”
There’s a stuffy type of tension that surrounds us as my sister flicks her gaze to her boyfriend, a look of confusion on her face. Finn, however, seems completely unaware of the tension as he moves around us toward the open trunk. The three of us work in mostly silence to bring all the boxes inside, placing them in the room that’s going to be mine. It’s a decently sized room. There’s a desk in the corner, a bookshelf, a queen-sized bed, and a pink furry rug on the floor that seems so completely out of place in this house. Must’ve been the previous nanny’s.
As soon as we’re finished with the boxes and Violet is shutting her trunk, an ATV pulls up beside her car, an older version of Finn behind the wheel. Turning it off, he climbs out just as Tucker notices and runs over to his grandpa.
“You must be Ash.” Extending his hand for me to shake, he says, “Gentry. It’s nice to meet ya.”
His handshake is firm, hand nearly twice the size of mine, and his palm calloused and rough from years of working this ranch. The resemblance between him and Finn is uncanny. Same forest green eyes, same dark hair—although Gentry’s is a bit more salt and pepper than his sons—same strong nose and jawline, but whereas Finn sports a five o’clock shadow, his father has a full, thick beard.
“I am. It’s nice to meet you too.”
Offering a hand to my sister, he introduces himself. “I’m Gentry, Finn’s father.”
“Violet,” she says with a smile. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
Gentry directs his gaze to his grandson. “Well, looks like you’re coming to my house for a sleepover. Why don’t we head inside and pack ya a bag.”
“Yeah!” Tucker’s eyes light up as he turns to book it into the house, leaving me with my sister and Finn.
None of us says anything for a moment. It’s awkward. Are they always like this together? Violet is such a bubbly person, and Finn seems so…not.
It’s my sister who finally breaks the silence. “Should I go pick us up some pizzas? We can have lunch while getting you unpacked?”
“Uh…” I look from her to Finn. “I don’t know. Does that sound good?”
Working his jaw, he nods, grabbing his wallet out of his back pocket. “Yeah, that’s fine.” Handing her some cash, he adds, “That should cover it, but let me know if it doesn’t.”
As soon as she leaves, Tucker and Gentry walk out, a tiny backpack slung over Gentry’s shoulder as they both climb into the ATV and are on their way.
The rest of the afternoon is spent in a similar and uncomfortable fashion. Finn gives me another tour of the house, we eat once Vi gets back, and I do a little unpacking. Once she heads home, I hide out in my room for the rest of the night. I wonder how long it’ll take for me to feel like I live here too and am not just somebody imposing on Finn’s personal space.
Fresh out of the shower, I toss my towel in the hamper as I pass by the laundry room. The savory aroma of bacon fills my senses, my stomach rumbling. It’s a little after nine, and this is the first time this morning I’ve ventured this far into the house. I woke up a little while ago, did some yoga in my room—not ideal—and took a nice, hot shower before deciding it was probably time to make myself known. I don’t need my new boss thinking I’m rude or antisocial before I’ve even started.
The soft tune of something old and country plays from somewhere in the living room, and when I scan the space, I spot a record player sitting on top of a cabinet, with an impressive record collection piled beside it. With the scent of a home-cooked breakfast in the air, country music playing, and the early morning sun bathing the living room in a golden glow, nostalgia hits me. It feels cozy and homey, like weekend mornings when Violet and I were little kids. Mom and Dad making breakfast together as they danced around each other in the kitchen, barefoot and happy, the windows open, letting in the morning air.
Padding into the kitchen, I come to a stop, my breath catching in my throat as I take in the sight before me. Finn’s standing at the stove, flipping bacon and what looks like pancakes, already fully dressed in a pair of tight, light-washed Wranglers and a white t-shirt, the sleeves cuffed, and a Moore Family Ranch hat flipped backwards on his head. A quick glance out the window over the sink shows me that Tucker is running around out back with Bubba.
A laugh bubbles up my throat when I see a couple of chickens trailing after them, like they’re chasing the puppy and Tucker. Finn whips his head around, wide gaze meeting mine, clearly not realizing I was in here.
“Sorry,” I murmur with a chuckle. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I saw the chickens chasing them around the yard and it made me laugh. Did Tucker just get home? Oh, and good morning.”
“Mornin’,” he offers as he turns his attention out the window. “Yeah, I picked him up after I went to check on the cattle. They’ve been out there for the last half hour.”
“How many chickens do you have?”
“About half a dozen at this point.” He flips a couple of pancakes onto a large plate before setting it in the oven. “Hungry? Breakfast is almost ready.”
“Actually, yeah.” Walking over to the bar, I ask, “Anything I can do to help?”
Finn glances over his shoulder, deep green eyes meeting mine as he tips his head to the side. “Plates are in that cabinet if you want to get some out. Silverware is right below it.”
“Do you make a big breakfast like this every weekend?” I inquire as I move around the kitchen. I’m not sure if they’re an eat-at-the-table-like-a-family household, but I grab a few napkins and set the table anyway.
“Try to,” he replies. “Some weekends are busier than others, so I don’t get a chance all the time. But it was something I looked forward to as a kid, so I’ve always tried to do it for my own.”
Once I’m finished, I take the orange juice out of the fridge as Finn hollers for Tucker at the backdoor. As he runs up to the porch and kicks off his shoes by the door, his eyes brighten when they spot me. He insists on sitting next to me as we eat, asking me dozens of questions, ranging from my favorite color to where I lived before here. By the end of our meal, I already know I’m going to love hanging out with him every day.
“Want a tour of the ranch?” Finn asks once he’s finished cleaning up the breakfast dishes. I offered to help, but he just grunted and shook his head.
“Uh, sure. That’d be great.”
This place is huge. Way bigger than I originally thought. Driving over to the barn, he introduces me to the weekend ranch hands, the horses, explaining in vague detail what everything is before we hop in an ATV, similar to the one Gentry showed up on yesterday, and he drives me around the property.
I would easily get lost out here if left to my own devices, that much I know for sure. There’s a total of three pastures for the cattle, a horse pen, a row of cabins that sits in front of the creek running through the property. I think it’ll be fun to explore with Tucker while his dad’s at work. I can see many early afternoons spent at the creek or riding bikes along the trail. I’ve never ridden a horse, but maybe I’ll have the chance to learn at some point.
For as bummed out as I was about having to move back to Wolf Creek, I can’t deny the hope that fills me about this new journey.
“Have you and your sister always been close?” Finn asks as we make our way back to the barn. The question takes me by surprise because he’s kept the conversation to a minimum all morning. He doesn’t strike me as a chit-chat type of guy.
Nodding, I reply with, “Yeah, pretty much.”
It’s the simple answer. And it’s mostly the truth.
He doesn’t need to know about the resentment I used to feel toward my twin because of the years of boys picking her over me. And he doesn’t need to know about how going to Oregon for college was the only way I was able to let go of that resentment. Putting miles between us, making it so nobody could pick her over me anymore.
It’s something I’ve never admitted out loud, not even to Violet. It’s something I used to feel deep shame over, because I know that Vi never meant to hurt me. She never purposely picked guys I liked, never maliciously flaunted her easy, widely accepted hetero relationships in front of my face. Growing up openly gay in the south hasn’t always been easy. My family and friends have always been more than supportive, but it made finding relationships a heck of a lot harder for me than it was for my sister.
Distance and therapy have helped me see that I’m not a horrible person for feeling resentment toward my twin sister, but she’s also not a horrible person for having things come easier to her either. It’s not her fault that she’s straight, just like it’s not my fault that I’m gay.
But that’s entirely too deep of a conversation to have with my new boss, especially before I’ve even started my first official day of work. Not that I ever plan on sharing any of that with him anyway. It’s a part of me that I’ve never told anyone, nor do I plan to.