10. Alessia
The first night after working at the casino, Finn nearly had to carry me to bed. These late nights are a far cry from what I’m used to, but at least it’s something to do rather than twiddling my thumbs every day. And I like it. So far, the clientele has been pleasant, even if a few of them have cast me suspicious glances from time to time. It’ll take some getting used to for a lot of the old-school Irish men to see one of the Amattos in their space, let alone working in one of their establishments.
I’ve been there every night for the last week. Finn told me to take the evening off tonight, saying he didn’t want me getting burned out at the start. I tried to argue a little, but honestly, it was halfhearted at best. I just need a little time to adjust to my new schedule. Either that or Finn was tired of having to lead a zombie up to bed every night. He leaves me at my bedroom door and says a polite good night before heading to his room.
Every. Damn. Night.
There was a fire in him the night of the fights I haven’t seen since. It seems the only time he gets in my space is when we’re arguing. Otherwise, he’s a perfectly respectable stranger. I liked him in my space the other night. Maybe a little too much. When he covered my mouth with his hand so I wouldn’t interrupt him, I felt something more than fury toward his domineering attitude. A lot more. Having him that close, that intense, it shook me. It made me uncomfortable, then it made me have to change my panties when I got to my room. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m not attracted to men like Finn. Men who demand to be listened to like that, who have no problem invading my personal space to command my attention. I hate that, in fact. So why did I have a sudden and intense urge to press myself into his heated body and shut him up by slamming my mouth to his?
Scrubbing my hands over my face then groaning at the ceiling, I sit up from my bed and check the time on my phone. It’s nearly ten in the morning. I’ll admit, it was a touch daunting, seeing the red walls, cream duvet, and massive cream-colored tufted leather headboard when I first walked into this room a few weeks ago. I don’t think I’ve seen such bold colors painted on a bedroom wall before, but considering red is my favorite color, I quite like the space. Good thing, considering this is my new home.
Even though Finn and I haven’t been getting back from the casino until around four a.m., we’ve still been training in his gym every day. Aside from boxing, I’ve found my husband is skilled in Muay Thai and Tae Kwon Do. Come to find out, when Enzo was a kid, he envisioned himself as a UFC fighter, so those two have been sparring at the end of our training sessions for fun. There’s something about watching Finn trying to incapacitate Enzo that has enthralled me on more than one occasion when I was meant to be stretching and cooling down. The look of fierce determination and focus Finn wore was more than a little distracting and did little to slow my racing heart rate from our workout. Damn that man for being so tempting and completely wrong for me. Not that there would be any chance of finding a man that was right for me. He made it very clear what his stance on marriage and fidelity are.
Trusting men like Finn can be dangerous, especially to my heart. It’s one thing to say you find the idea of infidelity offensive, but it’s another to go your entire life married to one woman and never fall into the bed of another. Especially a man who’s as powerful as Finn, who surely has women throwing themselves at him, with or without the band of gold he wears. Hell, there are plenty of women out there who find it a challenge. I don’t have much faith in the declaration he made in regard to cheating. But even I’ll admit, an entire lifetime is a long-ass time to go without sex. And the way Finn makes me feel when he doesn’t think I notice him watching me makes the idea of having a platonic marriage with him nearly unbearable. The only problem is knowing I have to keep my heart guarded at all times, and sex tends to muddy the waters. But when my mind wanders to him sweaty and breathless in the gym or the night of our wedding when he was helping me with the buttons of my dress, my reasons for wanting the walls seem to be less and less pressing.
“Get it together, Alessia,” I say out loud to my cat, who is pawing at my blanket, trying to get me out of bed to go feed him.
“Fine, you win.” I scratch his head and throw the covers off me.
Throwing on a robe over my nightgown, I walk down the stairs and into the kitchen. Finn hasn’t made it down yet, if the lack of coffee brewing is any indication. I start the pot and decide to make us a light breakfast before our workout. As I’m finishing cutting the fruit, Finn walks into the kitchen in nothing but a pair of running shorts, his naked chest that’s smattered with a bit of hair on full display. My husband works out a lot, and I see the hours he’s put in in every ripple of muscle on his defined chest, all the way to his toned abs, straight down to the top of his shorts, where a deep, chiseled V-cut muscle dives under the waistband.
You will not stare. You will not drool, I tell myself as my heart rate kicks up several notches.
“Good morning.” His voice is husky, and his hair is still mussed from sleep. “You made breakfast?”
“It’s nothing fancy. Just some fruit and yogurt before we head to the gym,” I reply, putting a spoon in his bowl and sliding it across the island.
“Looks better than the sludge you made us drink the other day.”
“God, you’re such a baby. How about, Thank you, Alessia, for caring about my well-being and eating habits instead of lacing the energy drinks I’m constantly pouring into my body with arsenic? You realize how unhealthy those things are, right?” Turning toward the coffeepot, I pull down two mugs, barely resisting the temptation to throw one at his head.
As I’m pouring my coffee, I feel the heat from his nearly naked body radiate into my back, with nothing but my thin robe and nightgown separating us.
“Thank you for not murdering me, Alessia.” His voice is low, and I feel the vibration of his chest as he chuckles.
Everything stops. My breath, my heart, my awareness of what the hell is going on around me. The only thing I feel is the warmth against my back and the minty scent of Finn’s freshly brushed teeth as he holds himself still behind me.
“Shit,” I say when I look down and realize I’ve overfilled my mug and there’s coffee dripping from the counter onto the gray marbled tile and my bare feet.
Damn distracting man.
Finn takes a step back, and I can finally take a breath before grabbing the paper towel and cleaning up the mess.
“I was thinking we could go for a run instead of the gym this morning. Test your endurance.”
“My endurance is fine, but I wouldn’t mind some outdoor exercise,” I reply, tossing the soiled paper towels in the trash.
I turn and find him leaning against the island with the bowl of fruit and yogurt in his hands and his legs crossed as he shovels a spoonful into his mouth. What is it about this man looking so casual and at ease while he eats his breakfast that’s an absolute turn-on? I’m used to seeing him as the boss, commanding his employees or grappling with Enzo. This relaxed version of him eating fruit and yogurt as I sip my coffee on the other side of the kitchen is new to me. It strikes me that though we work out together and have been married for a full month, this is the first time Ive seen him up close and personal without a shirt. There was the night at the fights, but I was so blinded by rage I didn’t have the chance to appreciate the exquisite physique of my husband. In the gym, he wears a rash guard. The only time we’d run into each other before we started our workouts, he was on the way to or from the casino or wherever he was spending his time away from the house, dressed in his usual attire of a suit without a tie.
“What made you get a tattoo there?” I ask, pointing to the Celtic trinity knot inked over his heart, trying to make it seem as though the reason I’m studying the hard planes of his chest and defined abs is that I’m admiring his tattoo.
His smirk is a dead giveaway. He knows that’s not what had my attention captivated for so long.
“Lost a bet.”
“Really?” It’s not uncommon for anyone to have tattoos these days. Honestly, I’m surprised he doesn’t have more.
“No, not really. My brother has the same one. Though I was quite drunk when I got it.” Finn chuckles at the memory.
“Why don’t you have more?”
“I never thought of anything I’d want inked into my skin for the rest of my life.”
“Too much of a commitment?”
He doesn’t answer. And I’m not actually referring to tattoos either. Nothing I’ve heard about the man would indicate he’s interested in any sort of commitment, tattoos or otherwise.
“What does it mean?”
“The Celtic knot?” he asks, and I nod. “There’re different meanings for different people. I like the idea of it representing the idea of past, present and future. I honor my past, live in the present, and am always looking toward the future. Or something along those lines. Like I said, there was a lot of whiskey involved.”
A laugh escapes him before he shakes his head a bit, clearing his thoughts. “I’ll be down in ten minutes for our run.”
I nod in his direction and finish my coffee. “I’ll meet you at the door.”
Finn stares at me like he wants to say something but doesn’t know how.
“The commitment comment…I want you to know it’s not that I’m opposed. I’ve just never had anything I wanted to keep forever.” So he picked up on the innuendo of my question. Nice to know my husband is as smart as people give him credit for.
He looks down at his bare feet and nods, signaling he’s said all he has to say on the matter. “See you in ten.”
Finn turns and leaves the kitchen, leaving me to completely overthink everything.
When we step outside into the chilly spring air, I’m no closer to figuring out what he was talking about in the kitchen. Did he not have any intention of staying in this marriage forever? I suppose if he wanted a divorce, there’s no stopping him. Once his own organization is strong enough and the rival families have been taken care of, he won’t need my father. Therefore, he won’t need to stay married. We’ve both made it clear this marriage is no more than a business arrangement.
We finish stretching and begin a light jog over a well-used path.
“Let’s loop around the property and down to the river then back. It’s about a three-mile run,” Finn says.
“Easy.” I concentrate on my breathing, enjoying the scenery. “I had no idea how beautiful it is out here.” I take in the giant oak trees along the path, full of green leaves now that spring is finally here.
“You should join me on runs more often,” he replies.
“Maybe if you invited me, I would.” Okay, so maybe not in the beginning, but in the last week since that fight night, I would have jumped at the chance to get to know him a bit better.
Finn is silent for a few moments. “I’m sorry. I’m not used to someone living with me. When my brother or Cillian are here, they’re just sort of always there. It wasn’t intentional to make you feel unwelcome.”
“I never said you made me feel that way.” Not entirely, at least.
He raises his brows in my direction but doesn’t argue as we continue our run.
“Okay, I didn’t necessarily feel at home these last couple weeks, but that’s hardly your fault.” I can accept that I could’ve made more of an effort, even if it pains me.
“I told you to redecorate.” And we’re back to that. It’s infuriating that a man would assume because I’m a woman, shopping would be the way to my heart.
“Telling me I have an unlimited budget so I can shop until my little hearts content isn’t exactly the way to make me feel at home.”
“There’re plenty of women who would see it differently.” Would it be too much to trip him and watch him fall flat on his face?
“You didn’t marry those women, did you?”
“I’m beginning to realize you aren’t like most women I’ve ever met, Alessia.”
“I’m not sure whether or not to take that as a compliment.”
Finn smiles but doesn’t comment. The trail leads us to the river flowing wildly through the back of the property. As a clap of thunder sounds overhead, both of us look up and notice the clouds that were just peeking over the horizon when we began our jog have moved directly overhead. And now they’ve decided it would be the perfect time to open and dump buckets of rain on us.
“Ah!” I yell as the cold rain pours over my heated flesh. “Fucking spring storms.”
Finn points to a little weather-worn boat house at the river’s edge a short distance from where we’re standing.
“I’ll race you,” he calls as he takes off in a sprint to the small shelter.
“Asshole,” I mumble as I bolt after him.
Finn beats me to the boathouse with a triumphant smile on his face.
“You cheated.” My balled fists rest on my hips as I cast a glare in his direction.
“Of course I did,” he laughs out. “I never said it was going to be a fair race.”
I look around the small wooden structure, with a rowboat on a lift so it’s not resting in the water.
“Do you row?” I ask.
Finn shakes his head. “No. This place is left over from when my family was in the bootlegging business.” He has a seat on one of the old wooden benches as he catches his breath. “My family has owned this property since before my dad was born. They used the river to transport whiskey.”
“I didn’t realize your family had owned the property that long.” I sit next to him as the raindrops splash violently against the roof and the river.
“Longer,” Finn begins. “My great, great—hell, there might be another great in there—grandfather came over during the potato famine in Ireland. They started as farmers and thieves.”
“Quite the combination,” I joke.
Finn shrugs. “They fought for everything they had, and when others couldn’t survive without some help, they did what they could, and sometimes that was by less than legal means.”
“So…philanthropy and thievery.”
“Survival,” he replies. “Back then, the community of Irish immigrants who settled here looked at my family as their leaders in a sense. Then came prohibition and that’s where we really made a name for ourselves. Of course, that ended, and we had to learn to adapt and change.”
“I’d say you’ve done a good job, considering you haven’t been pushed out yet.”
“Your father and I are alike in that, I think. We’ve both worked to get where we are and work hard to stay here without sacrificing part of ourselves to do it.”
I think about that for a few minutes, and for some reason, the thought angers me. No, my father and Finn didn’t have to sacrifice themselves, but I did. I sacrificed my freedom and plans for a different future.
“That’s easy for you to say, isn’t it?” I stand from the bench and walk to the other side of the boathouse to try to get some space from Finn in this small building. “You’re not the one who gave up their future to make sure this war with Cataldi ended in our favor. You’re not the one who was married off to unite two powerful families.”
“Hey, there’s a ring on my finger too, Alessia,” Finn replies. “I’m in this marriage, same as you. You think I wanted a bride who barely looks at me, who barely tolerates my presence? I did what I had to do because, without this marriage and show of a united front, he was going to force us all out, so the only family standing in Massachusetts was his. We all agreed we couldn’t let that happen. No one forced you.”
I let out a humorless burst of laughter. “No, I wasn’t forced. I was told if we didn’t get married, none of us would survive this war. You’re so right, Finn. You gave up just as much as I did.” It would be impossible for him to miss the caustic sarcasm dripping from my words. “I never had a choice. I was born a girl into a man’s world, and there’s nothing I’m good for besides keeping my husband happy and popping out a couple kids.”
“Whoa, I’ve never asked that of you.”
I open my mouth to argue, but he cuts me off. “If you bring up redecorating or shopping one more time, I swear to God, Alessia.” Finn stands from the bench and stares at me. “I thought I was doing something nice. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing here, either. But I sure as shit never wanted you to feel like some second-class citizen who holds no power. There’s nothing about having that kind of wife that appeals to me in the slightest.”
“Oh really? Then you’d be the first. Men in this life don’t like their women to have power, as though it would make them look like less of a man. They certainly don’t want them to have opinions or lives outside of whatever their husbands deem safe and respectable. You can’t honestly expect me to believe you’re any different.”
“The hell I can’t!” he yells, and points an angry finger at me. “Don’t fucking compare me to the men in your world, Alessia. You’re in mine now, and let me tell you, it’s a hell of a lot different. If you would have decided not to sign that contract, I would have figured something else out. I would still be out there fighting because I’ll never bow to that piece of shit, Cataldi. We decided this was the best course of action.” He waves the same finger between the two of us. “You, me, and your father. I sure as hell never pressured you into it. In fact, it was your father who contacted me. I wasn’t a hundred percent on board until that first dinner at your house.” Finn is standing directly in front of me, his eyes holding so much anger, but there’s hurt there, too. As though I’d made the worst comparison when I talked about the type of men I was used to dealing with in my world.
He inhales a deep breath and lets it out slowly through his nose, seemingly trying to calm himself before he continues. “When I laid eyes on you, everything changed. You weren’t the shrinking violet or standoffish princess everyone thought you were. I could see the fire and the strength in your eyes. I could practically taste the defiance in every word you spoke. It fucking captivated me from the first moment you opened your red lips and spoke to me. I was hooked. That’s why I signed that contract. Not to clip your wings or make you subservient to me, but I knew that night I wanted you next to me.” He takes one step closer, then another, until barely millimeters separate us. “I wanted you in my life and, goddammit, in my bed. You fucking consumed me before I had a chance to save myself, and even if I could, I wouldn’t change a damn thing. I would tie you to me because I’m a selfish bastard.”
His breaths are coming out in hot pants against my cool flesh. He talks about me consuming him, but in this moment, all I feel, hear, or taste is him. Instead of doing the sensible thing that the voice in the back of my mind is telling me—take a step back and regroup—I grab him by the front of his wet shirt and slam my mouth to his. Thunder claps in the distance as though the sky is saying finally, you’re taking what you want. Or it’s warning me that I’ve just made a grave error in judgment by allowing this man to break through my walls and take a part of myself I swore no one would ever have again.
Finn pulls away, his gaze spearing into me. “Be certain this is what you want, Alessia. If we do this, you’re mine, and I won’t promise to let you go if you change your mind.” His gravelly words dance across my lips.
“Don’t insult me, Finn.” I clutch his shirt tighter in my grasp. “I’m perfectly capable of escaping you if I want to.”
A smile tilts the corner of his lips. “I better make damn sure you never want to, then.”
When he slams his mouth to mine, the kiss takes on a life of its own, pulling us both into a thick haze of lust that neither of us can control, not that we would want to.
His hands are everywhere, running down my sides and over my ass as he pulls me tighter against his body, his hard cock digging into me. I loop my arms around his shoulders before he lifts me and slams my back into the wall. The boat house creaks, and I break the kiss, tilting my head to the side to give his mouth access to my neck. The feel of his lips and tongue trailing wet kisses along my neck, biting and tasting my sensitive flesh, is spurring me on. Needy moans erupt from somewhere deep within me. I’ve never felt so desperate for release in my entire life as my hips wriggle around, trying to find purchase on anything to sate this intense desire consuming me.
“Does my wife need to come?”
We seem to have gone from zero to a hundred in the span of the last few minutes, but really, we’ve been dancing around this inevitably for the last couple weeks.
“God, yes,” I moan out, wanting nothing more than to feel him slide inside of me.
He sets me down on my feet and spins me around.
“Hands on the wall,” he commands. “This is going to be quick, but I don’t think I can make it back to our house without feeling your tight pussy strangle me first.”
“I’m hearing a lot of talk and not seeing any action,” I tease, grinding my ass back into him.
The deep chuckle I feel more than hear over my heavy panting sends shivers racing down my spine. Finn’s hands move to the waist of my shorts, and he yanks them down, baring my naked flesh to him.
“You’re so fucking wet for me,” he says, trailing his finger through my center.
“Finn, please.”
“Please what? Please fill you with my fingers and play with your clit until you come? Or please slide my cock inside you while you scream my name? You have to choose,” he whispers hotly against my ear.
“Fuck. I want your cock inside me,” I beg. It should surprise me how easily he got me to this point, maybe even scare me a little, but goddammit, all I care about right now is Finn relieving the ache in my core.
He doesn’t make me wait long and pulls his own shorts lower before lining himself up at my entrance and slamming into me in one thrust.
We both let out a cry of pleasure with the first thrust, and each after that is punctuated with another moan or a curse falling from his lips. My nails dig into the old wood, sure to leave deep grooves.
“Fuck, Alessia, you feel so damn good,” he pants into my ear as he leans over my back, covering me with his chest. He stands straight and slows his thrusts but still reaches so, so deep. “Fuck, baby. You should see how well you take me. Your pussy looks so good swallowing my cock.”
I moan loudly. His filthy words, along with his pumping in and out of me, are quickly taking me to the precipice.
“Harder, Finn. Make me come.”
He doesn’t disappoint as his fingers tangle in my hair under the ponytail that sits askew, and he grips the strands firmly in his fist.
His hips begin moving at an almost punishing pace, throwing me over the edge I was just teetering on. I fall into absolute bliss as my orgasm crashes through me. My entire body feels as though it’s going to explode into tiny little pieces, but he doesn’t slow as I scream out in pleasure. My vision goes hazy around the edges before he thrusts hard once more, tightening his grip on my hip, and bellows out his own release. Hearing my husband come undone may have just become my favorite sound to fall from his lips.
We both still, panting as we each try to catch our breaths. Finn finally releases my hair from his grasp and runs his fingers down the slick skin of my back before leaning over and kissing me right behind the ear.
“It’s a good thing we don’t have to work tonight, wife. That was just a little taste.”
He bends down and pulls my shorts back up my trembling legs, and I wince at the feel of his release between my thighs.
“I need you to hurry your cute little ass back to the house because I’ve had plenty of time to fantasize about all the places and ways I want to take you, so if you plan to leave the house in the next week, we’d better get started.”
Sweet Jesus, what am I getting myself into?