11. Finn
Finn
Iran up the stairs two at a time, grabbed some fresh clothes from my room, and shut the bathroom door. I leaned against it for a long moment, scrubbing both hands over my face.
"Jesus Christ." The words sounded hollow in the empty room.
I stripped off and stepped beneath the hot spray, closing my eyes as the water rolled over my shoulders. It should've been enough to settle the restless energy crawling beneath my skin.
It wasn't.
The kitchen replayed behind my eyes. Kate's laugh, the warmth of her brushing against me and the way she'd looked up at me, cheeks flushed, before I'd all but fled the room.
My cock jumped to attention. It had been far too long since I’d been buried inside a club bunny.
But I couldn’t walk around with a raging hard on all day.
I gripped the shaft, closed my eyes, and pumped, trying to picture someone on their knees in front of me as I railed them.
Riley. Honey. They came and went like faces in a crowd.
I pictured her on her hands and knees, my eyes roaming the curve of her back, my hands holding her hips as I watched my cock disappear inside her. I imagined her moans, her crying out my name as I snaked a hand around her and played with her clit.
The tingle started in my balls before they tightened and I shot my load over the shower wall, but what stopped me dead was the name that fell from my lips as I did, “Kate.”
By the time the tension finally eased, the truth crashed into me so hard it knocked the breath from my lungs.
It had been her. Every damned second.
I stood frozen beneath the shower, guilt settling like a weight in my chest.
"Fuck." I dragged a hand down my face. What the hell was wrong with me?
She was asleep down the hall, trusting me enough to feel safe under my roof. Ghost's son's mother. A woman who'd survived more than anyone ever should.
And I'd just...
I planted both hands against the tiled wall and let the water run colder, hoping it would wash away the guilt.
It didn't.
I set the placemats on the table and grabbed the plates from the kitchen as Kate followed with two glasses of water.
“Careful,” she said. “Don’t want you pulling a muscle doing all that work.”
A huff of a laugh slipped out before I could stop it. “Yeah, real dangerous.”
She smiled, a small, real smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes but was getting closer.
We ate for a bit in silence, not awkward, just quiet.
I kept catching myself watching her. The way her shoulders stayed slightly tense, like she was waiting for something to go wrong. She wasn’t used to calm and quiet. Hell, neither was I.
“Can I ask you something?”
I glanced up. “You just did.”
She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“Go on then.”
“Why do you live here and not at the clubhouse?”
“Ah, that’s easy. The clubhouse is also my home, but it can get a little loud and rowdy. I like my own space, and I like the quiet.”
Kate nodded and chewed on her food as she thought over my answer. “I get that. I have another one.”
“Go ahead.”
She hesitated. “Finn . . . is that your real name or your road name?”
I leaned back slightly in my chair. “You know about road names?” I raised an eyebrow, wondering how much Caleb had told her about our life.
“I saw a photo of Caleb and Reaper when they were younger. On the back, it said, ‘Ghost and Reaper’. I asked, and he told me.” She shrugged.
“It’s both,” I replied to her question.
Her brow furrowed. “That doesn’t help.”
A corner of my mouth pulled up. No harm in giving her my name. “Full name’s Finlay,” I said. “No one calls me that unless I’ve done something wrong.”
She smiled.
“Finn’s easier,” I added.
“No big, scary biker nickname?” she teased. “Something dramatic?”
I snorted. “What, like ‘Reaper’?”
“Exactly.”
“Pretty sure I wouldn’t pull that off.”
She tilted her head, studying me like she was actually considering it. “No, you wouldn’t.”
I laughed and took a drink of water. It had been a long time since I’d sat with someone and had a normal conversation over dinner.
“So, how does it work?” she asked. “The road names.”
“Most of the guys earn them,” I said. “Something they did or something they like. Something that sticks.”
“And you didn’t?”
“Finn is my road name, too. Once I got patched in, it’s the name that stuck.”
She leaned forward just a fraction, resting her arms on the table.
“What’s it mean?”
My grip tightened slightly around my fork. For a moment, I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to. I hadn’t shared my full past with anyone other than my brothers. Not even Lucy knew.
Because my name . . . it wasn’t just a name. It was a line drawn. A moment I couldn’t take back. Blood on my hands and the sound of my mother crying and screaming behind me.
I pushed that memory down where it belonged.
Kate was still watching me, waiting.
“Means I finish things,” I said. The words came out flat and harsher than I meant, and they carried more than I wanted them to.
Her expression shifted. Not fear, but maybe understanding, or maybe just the sense that she’d stepped close to something she shouldn’t push. She didn’t ask anything after that and I was damn grateful for it, because if she had, I wasn’t sure I would’ve been able to lie.
Reaper called church just after dinner. The second my phone rang, the calm from earlier vanished.
“Yeah, Pres,” I answered, already pushing back from the table.
Kate looked up immediately, tension flashing across her face.
“Church. Bring the girl.”
“Understood.”
The line went dead.
“What is it?” Kate asked.
“Church. It’s a meeting of sorts.” I grabbed my kutte off the back of the chair. “Reaper wants you there.”
Her eyebrows dropped and her brow furrowed.
I sighed. “Relax. If there was a problem, he wouldn’t be inviting you into the clubhouse.”
She didn’t look like she believed me, but she nodded anyway.
On the ride back Kate held onto me tighter than she had the first time she’d ridden my bike, probably because of the dark roads or maybe because she trusted me a little more.
The clubhouse was louder than usual when we walked in. Music drifted from the bar while brothers shouted over a pool game somewhere near the front and club girls walked around half naked whilst laughing too loud. Nobody stopped us or looked at Kate like she was a threat either.
Funny how one DNA test changed everything.
I took her straight down the hallway and up the stairs towards Reaper and Lucy’s room and knocked once before opening the door.
Lucy sat cross-legged on the floor beside Noah while Maria stacked soft blocks in front of him.
The kid looked half asleep already, blinking slowly every time the tower toppled over.
“There he is!” Lucy grinned the second she spotted us.
Noah’s whole face lit up when he saw Kate.
“He refused to nap,” Maria informed us. “Stubborn little thing.”
“Runs in the family,” I muttered.
Lucy scoffed. “Don’t listen to Uncle Finn, baby.”
I leaned against the wall near the door, arms folded loosely while I watched them.
It should’ve felt strange. Watching women play with a baby in the president’s room while I stood there like it was normal, but somehow it didn’t anymore.
A knock sounded behind me before two prospects stepped inside carrying boxes.
“The changing station came,” one of them said.
“Good,” I replied. “Take it to my place and set it up in my room.”
The taller one smirked immediately. “Your room, huh?”
Kate went still beside Lucy.
A sharp pang moved through my chest so fast it pissed me off. “It’s for the baby,” I said flatly.
The prospect shrugged. “Didn’t say it wasn’t.”
I pushed off the wall slowly. “You know, thinking too hard for your pay grade is how prospects lose teeth.”
That wiped the smirk off his face.
Maria snorted, and when my eyes flicked to her, I saw that Lucy looked one second away from laughing outright.
The other prospect grabbed the box quickly. “We’ll get it done now.”
“Yeah,” I said. “You will.”
The room stayed quiet for half a second after they left, then Lucy lost it.
“Oh, that told him.” She held her stomach as she laughed.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You done?”
“Not even slightly.”
Kate focused very hard on Noah while her face turned pink and for some reason, that only made it worse.
“It’s not like that,” I muttered.
Maria hummed loudly from the floor like she didn’t believe a damn word coming out of my mouth.
I dragged a hand down my face. “Church starts in five,” I reminded everyone.
Lucy grinned. “Go on then, biker boy.”
I flipped her off automatically before moving towards the bathroom door. I used the toilet and checked myself out in the mirror as I washed my hands, trying to calm myself after dealing with the prospect.
I left the room and was met by Lucy’s smirk, which I ignored.
As I passed Kate, I rested my hand briefly against her lower back to move her out of my path. Still, the second my hand touched her, Kate looked up at me, and suddenly the room felt too damn warm.
I removed my hand as though I’d been burned and looked at everywhere but her. “Hopefully, I won’t be long. Then we can take the truck back home.”
I ducked out of the door, closing it behind me and hurried down the stairs towards the war room. Back home? Why had I said that? It was my house, not theirs.
“Finn, get in here,” Reaper called, ending my reflection on what my words meant.