18. sixteen
sixteen
. . .
CREW
I was damn near climbing the walls by the time tires crunched on the drive. Rushing to the window, I breathed a sigh of relief when Aspen got out of her car. But I wasn’t going to let her off the hook that easily, and I met her at the mudroom door, hands on my hips and a scowl on my face.
“Where have you been?”
Her forehead scrunched in confusion as she said, “I told you I was going to the library.”
“You’ve been there the whole time?”
“Yes…”
“Aspen, you’ve been gone for like four hours, and you didn’t text me to check in. I’ve been worried sick.”
Her expression smoothed, and she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, clearly uncomfortable. “I’m sorry. I was going through old news articles and lost track of time.”
“I’m not begrudging you your job, but proof of life would’ve been nice.”
“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I’m used to working alone, but I’ll be better next time.”
My breath left me in a huff, and without thinking twice, I closed the distance between us and pulled her into my arms, needing to feel her vitality against my skin.
I had no fucking idea what was happening with me, but whatever it was, I knew I wouldn’t be okay if something happened to her.
Shockingly, she melted into me, her arms coming around my waist and fisting my tee. There was something so easy about it, something so… perfect about the way we fit together. Though she was over a foot shorter than me, I loved the way her head tucked under my chin, making it easy to rest there, to completely mold ourselves together.
Though she remained pressed against me, she tilted her head back to look up at me. All I would have to do was bend slightly to capture that gorgeous mouth with mine.
“What’re we doing, Crew?” she whispered.
“I have no idea,” I answered honestly. “All I know is I want to keep you safe.”
“I can take care of myself,” she reminded me.
“I know, but you shouldn’t have to. Not all the time, anyway.”
A shiver passed through her, almost like she’d been waiting a long time to have someone say that to her, and with it finally breathed into existence, she could shake off some of the weight she’d been carrying.
I’d carry it all for her if she let me.
Aspen’s movements seemed reluctant as she peeled herself away from me. We both knew that sort of physical contact was a bad idea, and I was glad she’d been the one to break it.
I wasn’t sure I could’ve ever let go, and I immediately mourned her loss. Mourned the warmth of her against me, the feeling of having someone—but especially this someone—wrapped in my arms again. My palms itched with the desire to haul her back in. It’d been a long damn time since I allowed myself any sort of intimacy, and I found myself ready to break all my rules for Aspen McKay .
There was a spark here, and I wanted to hold a piece of kindling to it and watch it ignite into an inferno.
“I didn’t stop at the store. By the time I left the library, well…I didn’t want to chance being out after dark,” she admitted, avoiding my gaze.
“That’s okay,” I assured her, tucking a finger under her chin to tilt her face up for inspection. As expected, her cheeks were stained red. “And you don’t have to be embarrassed. In fact, I appreciate your vigilance. I would’ve been even more mad had you risked it when you didn’t feel safe.”
“I never used to be afraid of the dark.”
“And you’re not now,” I said. “You’re rightly afraid of what lurks within the darkness because someone used it as a tool to hurt you.”
She gave me a thin smile. “That’s a good way to look at it.”
I winked. “I’m full of good ideas.”
Aspen huffed out a laugh, then kicked off her boots and followed me into the kitchen.
When she rounded the corner, she gasped.
“You can cook?” she asked, and I chuckled at the incredulity in her tone.
“Of course I can. I feed myself just fine, thank you very much. And ,” I added as I led her to the dining table, where steaks, potatoes, and a tossed salad sat ready and waiting, “we take turns cooking at the firehouse when we’re on shift.”
Aspen took the chair I pulled out for her, a bemused expression on her face as she looked up at me. “And captains aren’t exempt?”
“Hell no,” I chuckled. “Especially not when I’m the best cook there.”
“How?”
I moved around the table and sat across from her. “Lots of time in the kitchen with my mama growing up. ”
“Thank you,” she breathed as I placed a sirloin on her plate. “But…what were you going to do if I didn’t come home?”
Home . She’d only been here a few days, but I loved how easily that rolled from her lips. Clearly, she felt safe here, and internally, I puffed my chest out like I was the reason and not the simple fact that she had somewhere to stay at all—somewhere with, admittedly, an impressive civilian security system.
“I would’ve left all this shit here and gone looking for you,” I answered bluntly.
Aspen hummed thoughtfully, though the skin of her cheeks turned bright pink beneath the dining room lights, and continued loading up her plate.
At least this time, the flush was from appreciation—I hoped.
Her movements were precise and confident as she cut off a piece of the steak and brought it to her mouth. I watched raptly as her lips closed around the fork, and a moan escaped her.
I felt that sound all the way to my cock, and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, hand going to my crotch to adjust myself. Aspen, with her eyes closed, remained oblivious to the desire that was surely written all over my face.
Her eyes popped open, and she whispered a single word.
“Damn.”
Yeah, I understood the sentiment. That was likely how I’d feel if I ever got to taste her sweet pu?—
Cut it out, Crew.
“You can’t help yourself, can you?” she said conversationally, and my brows pinched together in confusion.
Had I said something out loud?
“With cooking?” I asked dumbly. “I mean, no? I have to eat…”
Aspen giggled, a high, girlish sound I never would’ve expected from her, and shook her head. “No. Although, this is amazing. I mean the whole savior and protector thing.”
I shrugged. “It is my job. ”
She leveled her fork at me. “I think there’s more to it than that.”
I hated how easily she pegged me, and while I’d never shared much of my story with anyone outside of my family, I felt like Aspen deserved to know at least some of it. After all, I’d seen her in her darkest moment. It seemed fair I reciprocated, if only to explain why I was the way I was.
“For lack of better phrasing, I was a bad kid. I finally started to turn myself around when someone sat me down and basically put the fear of God in me. That man gave me a second chance, and I owe him my life. Since then, I’ve made it my personal mission to pay it forward.”
That person had been Lieutenant—now Chief—Madden, and I owed him everything. Chief had always hung out on the fringes of our family. Secretly, I thought he had a crush on my mom, but that woman would never move on from Dad as long as she lived. Eventually, Chief found a wonderful woman, married her, and had two kids of his own. But with Dad gone, and me going off the rails entirely once I started high school, he’d been there to pull me back from the ledge on more than one occasion. We had a running joke that I had been the trial run for when he had his own son to raise.
Everything I was—the man and firefighter I’d become—was thanks to him.
“You’re a good man, Crew Lawless,” Aspen said, and I relished the way my name fell from her lips. What a beautiful sound. “You saved my life, and I’ll never be able to repay you for that.”
“It was nothing,” I said, the words coming out hoarse.
“Yeah, yeah,” she replied, reaching for the bottle of wine I’d opened for her, “you were just doing your job.”
I grinned, and she briefly returned it before focusing on pouring herself a glass then offering the bottle to me.
“Want some?” she asked, scanning the table for my glass .
She wouldn’t find it.
I shook my head. “Nah. I don’t drink.”
A brow raised. “Ever?”
“Not anymore.”
As if sensing something in my tone, Aspen wisely didn’t press the issue.
I had no doubt I’d tell her someday, but today was not it.
That was a can of worms that needed to stay sealed for as long as possible.
After dinner, we retired to the living room. I turned on reruns of Criminal Minds , which was, unsurprisingly, Aspen’s favorite show, while she brought me up to date on what she’d found at the library.
“There’s not a lot in here that I didn’t already know,” she admitted, her tone edged with frustration as she shuffled through the printouts of old news articles. “But I was hoping you could take a look and see if anything jumps out at you.”
I accepted the sheaf of papers. “Of course. And what about the yearbooks?”
“I didn’t get a chance to go through them. Ginny was very helpful and said I could come back whenever I wanted, but she was getting ready to close by the time I finished with the newspaper stuff, so I didn’t want to press my luck.”
“Ginny still works there?”
“You know her?”
“It’s a small town. I know everyone. And she was the librarian when I was in school. She’s basically a permanent fixture in that place.”
“I’m a big fan of hers. She’s the first—” She halted, eyes flicking up to me then back to her lap. “ Second ,” she corrected, “person to show me any sort of kindness since I got here. ”
The realization that the townsfolk of Dusk Valley had given her such a hard time since her arrival—and after what she’d suffered at the hands of one of our residents—had a complex swirl of emotions taking up residence in my chest. Warmth, because she saw me as someone safe and sympathetic, someone who would go to bat for her, protect her. But also a pang of pain and guilt that the list of people willing to offer her a helping hand consisted of only two names.
“You’ll always have a friend in me,” I vowed.
Aspen’s eyes met mine again, a small smile playing on her mouth as she took a sip of Cabernet, a bead of dark red liquid lingering on her bottom lip before she swiped it away with the tip of her tongue.
I hated how badly I wanted to be that droplet of wine.
Then she returned her glass to the table and said, “I was hoping you’d say that, because I need a favor, and friends do each other favors, right?”
I knew damn well she didn’t mean it suggestively, but my brain took off like a wild horse, dredging up all kinds of ideas for what these favors would entail.
Every last one of them involved getting us both naked.
I marshaled myself enough to say, “I have a feeling I’m not going to like this.”
She let out a little laugh, shaking her head. “I’m afraid not, hotshot.”
I made an out with it gesture. “Lay it on me then.”
“I need you to talk your brother into handing over the police reports from each incident.”
I groaned. “It’s not that simple.”
“It really is,” she argued. “As simple as asking the question. Pull the brother card. Call in an old debt.”
“You obviously don’t know the sheriff very well if you think pulling the brother card would work.”
She giggled. “He is a bit of a hardass, isn’t he? ”
I quirked a brow. “A bit?”
“Fair,” she said. “All I’m asking is that you try.”
“I will, but…” Briefly, I went back and forth on whether or not to share Lane’s early morning visit with her, ultimately deciding I didn’t want to keep secrets and that she deserved to know. “You should know he stopped by here this morning because he found out you’re staying with me.”
“Damn, news travels fast.”
“You have no idea,” I grimaced. “But he basically told me I was an idiot for getting involved and that you’d be better off leaving town. I suggested he work with you instead of against you, but…”
“But he’s a stubborn asshole,” Aspen finished for me.
“Precisely.”
“I’m prepared for him to say no. But we won’t know unless we ask. Please, Crew,” she begged. Inexplicably, a shot of adrenaline raced through my veins with the word, spoken so like that night in the fire when she was pleading with me to save her. I supposed for her, and for other residents of this town, whether or not Aspen got access to those files could be a life or death situation.
“I–I need this,” she pressed on. “I need to help these families. Help myself . Find my strength again. Regain what I’ve lost.”
My goddamn heart melted into a puddle. There was such pain in her eyes, such fear. Was it fear that whoever had done this to her was still out there, lurking in the shadows? Fear of failure? Fear of never being able to move past this, of forever feeling like a victim?
If I had to guess? Likely a combination of all three.
Reaching across the couch, I captured one of her hands in mine, squeezing it tightly for a few heartbeats before relaxing.
Our gazes collided and held.
“You are strong, Aspen. One of the strongest women I’ve ever met. You’re like a literal goddamn phoenix risen from the ashes of a fire. Made even stronger because you built yourself back up from the very thing that tried to take you down. Don’t ever forget that.”
Her eyes had gone glassy, and she offered me a watery smile, sniffing back tears before they could fall.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“Anytime. And I’ll talk to Lane. I’ll get you those files.”
I’d do it too. Even if I had to break into the fucking department and steal them.
For her, I’d do whatever it took.