25. twenty-three
twenty-three
. . .
CREW
I see an awful lot of brunettes.
My fist slammed harder into the bag, sending it careening toward the concrete wall of my basement workout space.
Once Aspen had uttered those words, I’d needed to collect myself. I managed to sit still and keep my cool while we ate pizza and chatted about nothing, but the second the plates were cleared and the leftovers were in the fridge, I bolted downstairs.
Obviously, she’d been targeted because she was working the case and hoping to find the piece of shit tormenting my town, but to see all the victim’s faces lined up side by side, to recognize she’d also happened to fit the physical profile?
The realization had something ugly twisting in my chest, the constant desire to protect, protect, protect morphing into something far more dangerous.
I’d burn the fucking world down for Aspen McKay, destroy anyone who tried to hurt her, and that scared me more than anything.
Did she feel the same? Would she give her life to protect mine in the same way I felt compelled to do for her? Not that I’d ever ask that of her. I’d do everything in my power to ensure she never had to. But we’d had a moment in the kitchen. Before we’d been saved—or maybe damned, if the way my cock still refused to soften was any indication—by the oven signal, I’d been centimeters away from kissing her like she deserved, not that weak ass, glancing touch I’d given her. Like a planet helpless to resist the gravitational pull of the sun, I’d been drawn into her orbit, and I didn’t see a way out.
Hell, I didn’t want a way out.
I’d never really been in a real relationship. I’d had a high school girlfriend before the accident that sent me into a tailspin, and once I got my shit together, I was too busy moving across the country, then with the fire academy and starting my career, to worry about also keeping a woman happy. Sure, I’d had flings; I was a red-blooded male. I scratched the itch when needed. But there’d never been a woman I could see myself with long term.
And then Aspen McKay blazed into town, setting my entire world on fire, and suddenly, I was picturing forever with a woman who, in the grand scheme of things, I hardly knew.
But I wanted to change that. I wanted her to become someone I knew better than anyone, wanted the kind of relationship I remembered my parents having—where we could exchange whole conversations with a simple look. Where we woke up together every morning, and fell asleep curled around each other every night.
Fuck, I wanted to get married and fill this house with babies.
And I wanted all of that with her .
With that thought, I punched the bag so hard, my knuckles stung through the tape I’d wrapped them in, and I leaned my forehead against it for a beat. I was breathing so damn hard, my thoughts so loud, I almost missed my phone ringing across the room.
Rushing over, I found Lane’s name on the screen .
“You’re calling awfully late,” I said in lieu of greeting.
“There’s been a fire.”
“What? Where?” I dropped the phone on the bench and put it on speaker, quickly unwinding the tape from my hands.
“Dumpster behind Mozzy’s.”
The pizza place…where Aspen had been earlier, picking up dinner.
“Do you think?—”
“I don’t know,” he said before I could finish. “I hope it’s not connected, but I can’t be sure. I wasn’t even going to call you, but?—”
“You knew I’d be pissed if you didn’t. I’m coming down to check it out. Give me ten minutes.”
“You live fifteen miles out of town.”
“And?”
Lane’s sigh echoed through the speaker. “Be careful.”
Then he hung up, and I rushed upstairs.
Aspen was in the office, her laptop on the desk in front of her. The end of a pen was stuck between her teeth, and a notebook balanced on her bent knees as she stared at the murder board.
I could practically hear the gears in her mind turning as she tried to make sense of it all.
Not wanting to scare her, I lightly rapped my knuckles on the open door, and she spun toward me.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” I replied. “So, Lane called.”
She bolted upright, the notebook and pen falling to the ground, instantly forgotten.
“Another fire?”
I nodded. “I’m going to check it out, so I’ll be back lat?—”
“I’m coming with.”
“No.”
So many emotions flashed across her face with the single word, I couldn’t grasp any to make sense of them. Finally, she settled on annoyance.
“I’m coming with,” she repeated.
I approached her, placing my hands on the back of the chair and ducking until we were eye level.
Too close , my body warned.
Fuck, she smelled good, like some floral shampoo and vanilla. And…mint? Her lips had a slight sheen, and I guessed that was her lip balm.
I hated how badly I wanted to taste it.
“Please, Aspen.” Unbidden, my hand moved up to cup her face, thumb stroking her soft cheek. “I can’t be focused on my job if I’m worried about you. Please stay here where I know you’re safe.”
I was admitting a lot with the demand. I might as well have cut my heart out and laid it in her palm.
Bracing myself, I waited for her reaction.
At last, she softened, her shoulders dropping away from her ears, eyes fluttering closed as she leaned into my touch. “Okay,” she agreed.
All the tension bled from my own shoulders, and I shifted my palm to cup the back of her neck, pulling her in to press a kiss to her forehead. Aspen inhaled sharply at the contact, but her hand found the front of my shirt, grasping it and holding me there longer than was probably wise.
“Thank you,” I murmured against her skin.
She pulled away enough to look up at me, and god, with her mouth right there , I wanted to close the distance and finish what we’d started earlier.
But I wouldn’t—not like this.
When I finally made Aspen mine, it wouldn’t be as I was rushing out the door. She wasn’t the kind of woman you kissed and ran .
Aspen was the kind of woman you worshiped all night long.
“Be safe,” she whispered as I let her go.
I grinned. “Always am, little phoenix.”
The stars sparkled overhead as I pulled out of the garage and navigated down my long driveway. The days were getting longer, but at eight thirty at night in early May, the sun had already disappeared, leaving that spring chill in the air. I’d stowed the extra set of gear I kept at home in the backseat of my truck and pulled on a thick fleece jacket over my tee, legs still clad in the sweats I’d worked out in.
I drove pedal to the metal all the way to town, making what should’ve been a twenty minute drive in half the time. The scene was awash in red and blue emergency lights from a lone fire truck, Lane’s sheriff SUV, and a few patrol cars.
After a quick assessment, I noted the fire was already out, so I left my gear in the back and approached my brother.
“You really didn’t need to come down,” he said, not bothering to face me as he stood with his arms crossed, surveying the first responders clearing debris and taking photos.
“Too late now. Any idea what happened?”
“Likely a dumb kid causing trouble. As far as I can tell, there’s no connection to our guy. No one was injured.”
“What started it?”
“Smells like lighter fluid, Cap,” one of the third shift guys said from nearby.
“Not diesel fuel?”
He shook his head, then turned back to overhaul.
“So probably not connected,” I said, “but the timing is a little too convenient if you ask me.”
Lane hummed in agreement. “We’re kicking up dust by digging into this thing, especially with Aspen around. For now, I’ll treat it as a one-off.”
“Well, in the interest of full disclosure, you should know Aspen was here earlier getting dinner. Might mean something, might not.”
Lane swore, rubbing his hand over his face. “We’ll check the cameras in the area and see if anything pops.”
“Do any cameras even face the alley?”
“Not the city-operated ones,” he said, pointedly glancing around at the light posts where such things would be mounted. “But we might be able to catch the perp arriving or high-tailing it out of here. And most of these businesses have private security systems.”
“Trey?”
“Trey,” Lane confirmed, pulling out his phone to shoot a text to our brother.
Glancing up and down the alley, I mentally mapped any potential escape routes the perp could’ve used. Mozzy’s was in the middle of the block damn near dead in the center of what was considered city limits, which didn’t provide a lot of immediate cover. But…
“I can hear your mind working,” Lane said, tossing me a smirk. “What’re you thinking?”
“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” I teased.
“Quit being a pain in my ass and tell me.”
“This alley runs all the way through town, perpendicular to Cassia, right?” I started, naming the main street all of these businesses faced. “At this time of night, the perp wouldn’t be able to shuffle onto Cassia and blend in with the foot traffic. And people don’t normally walk down alleys in the dark. Which means…”
Lane jerked his head to the other side of the alley, where residential homes began to mingle with the businesses, where the street lights became fewer and farther between. “They had to have gone that way. They could’ve snuck through yards until they were far enough away to book it.”
“Exactly.”
“Deputies!” he shouted over the commotion, and the five guys he had on scene all turned his way. “Set up a canvas. I want a five by five block radius on the south side of Cassia, and the same to the north. Ask residents if they saw or heard anything suspicious.”
Murmurs of “you got it boss” floated back to us as his deputies set off in different directions to carry out his orders.
“What do you need from me?” I asked my brother.
“Nothing else right now.” With a glance back at the fire crew still working the scene, he settled a hand on my shoulder and steered me away. When we reached my truck, he added, “Have you had a chance to look at the case file?” I nodded. “Anything jump out at you?”
“You mean other than the fact that the women are all white, brunette, and in their late teens or early twenties?”
Lane blinked slowly, processing that information.
“Sounds an awful lot like a profile.”
“Seems like something your brethren should’ve figured out sooner.”
The corners of his mouth turned down, the skin around his eyes tightening—whether in anger or shame, I didn’t know.
“Not gonna lie to you, little bro. My predecessors were…lazy, for lack of a better word. This killer lay dormant for long enough stretches that things would go cold before the next strike, and they didn’t work hard to keep the fire burning, if you know what I mean.”
“That’s not going to be the case with you.”
He didn’t treat it like a question because it wasn’t one. If nothing else, Lane was a hell of a cop, and I knew he’d run down every possible lead and keep turning over rocks until something crawled out. That, and I’d be on his ass every day, not letting him forget.
“Aspen doesn’t exactly fit,” he said after a moment.
“She’s white and brunette,” I pointed out. “Her age doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Hell, her physical appearance doesn’t really either if you think about it.”
We all knew why Aspen was targeted, and it had everything to do with why she was here, not who she was or what she looked like.
“No, I suppose not.” He squeezed his eyes shut and popped them open, and I noticed for the first time how exhausted he looked. This case had to be taking its toll on his department, and I probably could take it a little easier on him. “Well, keep her safe, and let me know if anything else sticks out.”
With a salute, I left.
But instead of heading home, I went to the fire station, unsurprised to find Chief Madden’s personal vehicle parked out front.
At nearly ten p.m., those not currently out on the call ambled around, clearly getting ready to catch some shut eye. I nodded at everyone I passed as I beelined for Chief’s office.
“What’re you doing here, Lawless?” he asked when I appeared in the doorway.
“Just came from the dumpster scene.”
“And?”
“Nothing much to report. Seems like a standard kid fucking around type situation.”
Chief smirked. “And you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?”
I groaned. “God, don’t remind me.”
“It’s good to remember how far you’ve come.”
Well, he wasn’t wrong there.
“ Anyway ,” I said, moving deeper into his office. “That box of incident reports I’d gone over with Aspen that one day—would it be possible to take another look at them? Lane gave me copies of all the police files on each victim, and it’d be nice to cross reference some things.”
“You really want to find this person, don’t you?”
“Of course. Don’t you?”
“To prevent them from taking another life, sure. But I think there’s more on the line here for you.”
Internally, I cursed. This man had always been able to see through me like I was a window instead of the iron vault I wanted to be.
“That obvious?”
One of his shoulders hitched up. “I know what being in love looks like, and you’re on your way there, son.”
“So is that a yes on the files?” I asked hopefully.
Chief chuckled and jerked his head toward the corner, where the same box still rested from when I’d set it there several weeks ago, after that very first meeting with Aspen.
But I pulled up short when I reached it, then turned back to Chief.
“You wouldn’t have some time to sit down and go over these with me, would you?”
That was really why I’d come to the station, anyway—to get his opinion.
His mouth spread into a smile.
“I’d love to. It’s been a while since I’ve done any investigative work.” He rose from his desk and ambled over to me. “But you’re not allowed to stay past midnight. You’re on shift in the morning.”
“Aye aye, captain.”
He snorted. “That’s Chief to you.”
With a mock salute, I followed him out.
Shortly after midnight, I quietly let myself into the house. Chief had come to many of the same conclusions as me while we pored over the reports. This killer was organized and intelligent, and we’d need a major break, for them to make a colossal mistake, in order to catch them.
Aspen had left the kitchen light on for me, which I appreciated as I tiptoed through the room and toward the hallway.
Alarm shot through me when I found her bedroom door open and her bed empty, and I willed my heart rate to slow. She’d probably fallen asleep on the couch watching a movie, which she’d already done a few times since moving in with me. I needed to change out of my workout gear, which was really starting to stink, and then I’d carry her to her.
When I walked into my room and flicked on the light, I found her asleep in my bed. Well, she had been asleep, but I’d unintentionally woken her up, and she lifted her head to squint at me.
I was by her side in a few long strides.
“What are you doing in here?” I asked softly, kneeling beside her and brushing her hair back from her forehead.
“Had a nightmare,” she said sleepily, her eyes remaining closed. “And then I heard some weird noises when I couldn’t fall back to sleep. Without thinking, I ran to you, but…”
“I wasn’t here.” I was on the bed in a flash. Pulling back the covers, I wrapped her in my arms and curled us together in the center of my mattress. “I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize for doing your job,” she said. “I don’t even know why I came looking for you anyway.”
Yet she made no move to pull free and leave, and I found myself holding her tighter.
“I saved your life. You see me as someone who can protect you. I bet you’d feel the same about anyone in my position.”
Not for a second did I believe those words, and they felt like glass scraping my throat on the way out, but I had to put it out there. Had to see how she’d react to me trying to downplay whatever was happening between us.
I felt more than saw her shake her head. “No, Crew. No, this is…” She placed her hand over my heart, which, despite her proximity, thumped evenly. She was the one who needed comforting, had come to my room in search of it, but I also knew I was safe here with her . Holding her like this was right where I needed to be. “This is all you.”
I grinned into her hair, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Shortly after, her breath evened out as she drifted back to sleep. Not wanting to move and risk waking her again—and because I didn’t want to let her go—I remained where I was.
Thinking.
About all the ways this could go wrong. The danger of us getting close like this, both physically and emotionally.
But I couldn’t deny how badly I wanted her, and the fact that the first place she’d run to when she had a bad dream was the one place in this house where she could feel closest to me told me she felt the same.
If we wanted to be together, we’d find a way to make it happen. Of that, I had no doubt. So with that thought, and a smile on my face, I followed Aspen down into unconsciousness.
I was jolted from sleep some hours later at the insistence of some sort of alert blaring from my phone. Damn, my alarm for work already?
Next to me, Aspen grumbled something unintelligible and shifted onto her other side while I rolled toward my nightstand. Slapping my hand down on the device, it instantly silenced…only to start back up again.
Bleary-eyed, I squinted at the vibrant red alert screaming at me from the home screen. Unlocking it, I clicked into my security system app to see what all the fuss was about.
Unnaturally high temperatures detected at garage door.
What the fuck ?
Careful not to wake Aspen for the third time, I slid out of bed and padded through the house until I reached the garage. With the press of a button, the door began to lift, and I knew before it opened fully what the problem was as a cloud of smoke greeted me.
Aspen’s car was on fire.