31. twenty-nine
twenty-nine
. . .
ASPEN
Crew filled the tub with borderline too hot water—the way I liked it—and some eucalyptus scented bubble bath that had been hiding under the sink. When the water reached the perfect level, he stepped in and relaxed against the edge, then helped me in after him. I reclined with my back to his chest, cocooned in the warmth of his body and the water surrounding us.
“A girl could get used to this,” I mused as I ran my fingertips over his kneecaps which jutted above the surface. The tub was massive, likely custom made to fit his big body, but with his long legs bent, they still extended past the lip.
“Sex so good you can’t walk?” he asked, brushing my hair off my shoulder to bend and press a kiss there.
“That too,” I giggled as he hit a particularly sensitive spot right above my collarbone. “I meant this .” I gestured to our current situation. “Being taken care of. A man giving me life-altering orgasms followed by him relaxing in the bath with me.”
I could get used to a lot of things where Crew Lawless was concerned. The camaraderie, the care he showed me both in and out of the bedroom, the safety I’d found in his arms .
The sex too, but while I’d spent the time since I’d met him knowing without a doubt it would be explosive between us, it had also been tender in a way I hadn’t expected. He was gruff and commanding, wringing pleasure from my body like wringing water from a rag, but he never pushed for more than I could take. With him, I knew I could take even more than he’d given me. And I wanted to explore all of that, find out exactly what he meant when he said we’d work our way up to what he liked.
But I wanted more from him that went beyond being physical. For the first time since my sister died, a future where I wasn’t alone stretched out before me. I no longer wanted to punish myself for something that hadn’t been my fault.
I still had secrets, and I wanted to share them with Crew. Wanted to unburden myself for the first time since I’d left Chicago in the rearview nearly a decade ago.
“We agreed to one day at a time,” he said, almost like he was reminding himself more than me, “but I’ll give you whatever you want for as long as we’re together.”
“Ditto,” I managed to choke out around the emotion suddenly clogging my throat.
His lips continued to ghost along my skin as he murmured, “Tell me about your sister.”
With the warm water lapping around us and the heat of his skin on mine, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so protected. So I opened my mouth and talked about my sister in a way I hadn’t done with anyone ever.
I told him about growing up with Lola as my idol. We were nearly seven years apart in age, my parents trying for years after she was born to have another until finally, they got pregnant with me as they were about to give up.
“She wanted to be a pediatrician,” I said, smiling. “And I have no doubt she would’ve had a whole brood of her own children. Secretly, I think a lot of that stemmed from growing up with a sister so much younger than her. She was almost like a third parent. By the time I reached high school, she was nearly done with undergrad. She was the first person I’d gone to for advice, the first call I made when something good or bad happened.” I swallowed hard, trying to get through this next part. “And then she was…gone. Caught in a fire in one of the older buildings on campus and I never saw her again. Never got to hear her voice, or hug her and tell her I loved her. I never even got to say goodbye.”
Tears streamed down my cheeks, and Crew shifted me around to cradle me against his chest, swiping at my face with his thumbs.
“She was so badly burned we had to have her cremated,” I choked out. “My parents couldn’t even visually identify her. They had to use her dental records.”
“Fuck,” he breathed, pressing a kiss to my hair. “I’m so sorry.”
“It was a long time ago,” I whispered, trying to play it off if only to regain my composure. “I shouldn’t still be crying about it.”
“Hey, no,” he said, turning my face until I looked up at him. I wanted to drown in the blue depths of his eyes. “You’re allowed to feel sad. And cry about it. Grief isn’t linear. My dad has been gone since I was ten, and it still fucking hurts to think about.”
“I’m sorry you lost him.”
“I think he would’ve liked you,” Crew said with a soft smile. “I’ll have to go visit him soon and tell him about this girl who turned my world upside down.”
Craning my neck, Crew caught my drift and met me for a kiss. “In a good way, I hope.”
“In the best way.”
“What was he like?”
“He was the hardest working man I’ve ever known, and that’s as true today as it was the day he died. I still don’t know how he and Mom did it, balancing running the ranch with having seven kids, but they made it look easy. He’d be gone before we even got up for school in the mornings, but he was always home for supper at night. He wasn’t the kind of man that made my brothers and I feel bad for having big feelings. He showed us it’s okay to cry, or to be so happy you felt like you could burst with the force of it. And most of all, he allowed us to dream.”
“He sounds amazing.”
Crew swallowed hard and nodded. “He was. Admittedly, I’m the lowest man on the totem pole when it comes to the pecking order in my family, but even with my oldest brother, Owen, he never forced him into anything. Owen realized at a pretty young age he was good at football, and obviously, his talent only continued to grow the older he got. Mom and Dad made it possible for him to chase the NFL dream, never guilting him into feeling like he had to stay behind and run the ranch. The rest of us were free to do what we wanted with our lives too. My dad was the best man, and I miss him every day.”
“Is he buried in town?”
Crew shook his head. “Nah, he’s buried on the ranch. Mom couldn’t bear to have him too far away, so we set up a plot along the edge of his favorite stretch of pasture. It’s a short horse ride from the house, and she goes out there at least once a week. One day, she’ll rest there beside him.”
My heart ached for Birdie, knowing she had to spend the rest of her life without the other half of her heart.
“We spread Lola’s ashes on the shores of Lake Michigan. But she’s always with me anyway,” I said, tapping my chest right over my heart.
“You could get a commemorative tattoo,” he smirked. “Really make it permanent.”
I scoffed. “And before you know it, I’ll look like you.”
“Tattoos are addictive,” he agreed. “But really, I know a guy. I’ll hook you up.” He reached around and ran his hand over the burn scars on my left side. “You could get these covered too…if you wanted.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Against my backside, I felt Crew’s dick start to stiffen, and I giggled.
“Really? Talk of tattoos turns you on?”
“Baby, there’s nothing about you that doesn’t turn me on, but the thought of your body all covered in ink? Yeah, I like that a lot .”
I rose up out of the water enough to kiss him again, cupping the back of his head and holding him to me, nibbling at his lips, his tongue stroking a lazy path across mine.
When I pulled away, I said, “I like you a lot.”
Crew’s answering grin was bright and carefree, giving him a boyish air I’d never seen before. “The feeling is mutual, little phoenix. Why don’t you let me show you how much?”
My toes curled in anticipation. “Do your worst, hotshot.”
Wordlessly, he flipped me around so my back was once again to his chest. His cock speared between my ass cheeks, and I wriggled around, loving the smooth slide and the way Crew’s breath hitched.
“If you don’t stop that,” he ground out, “I’m going to fuck that hole, and I don’t think either of us are ready for that.”
I shivered in response but said, “How do you want me?”
“My favorite words,” he murmured into the back of my neck as he leaned forward, shifting my body with him. “Hands on the edge of the tub.” He placed them exactly where he wanted them, so I was bent slightly forward, then gripped my ankles and put my feet next to his quads, pressing them against the sides of the tub so I couldn’t move. His legs stretched out flat beneath me so I hovered over his lap. Then he reached under the water and between us, and the bubble bath had cleared enough for me to see him fist his cock. It brushed against my slit a moment later, and I twitched against the contact .
“Think you can ride me like this, little phoenix?”
I peeked over my shoulder at him and shot him a smirk. “Only one way to find out.”
His cock slapped my seam, and then he held it at my entrance. “Sit down then.”
Yes-fucking-sir .
As I sank slowly onto him, my head fell forward as a moan escaped me. God, he was huge. By far the biggest cock I’d ever seen or been with. All the edging earlier had been necessary to fit him inside. Now, aided by the water and knowing I could take him, we only met a little resistance as I took him into my body.
When I was fully seated, my ass resting against his thighs, he reached for me. With a hand around the front of my neck, he pulled me backward, bending me so he could kiss me.
My spine arched, contorting me into a position that should’ve been uncomfortable but wasn’t.
Honestly, I’d let Crew break me in half and still come back for more with the pieces that remained. That was the kind of hold he had on me.
Not unlike his massive palm spanning my neck, which pressed on my windpipe with enough pressure that I knew he could crush it if he wanted. I didn’t care; he’d already proved I could trust him with my life.
“Move.”
With aching slowness, I used my quads to lever myself up, dropping my ass back to his lap quickly. Then again, and again, spearing myself on his cock over and over.
I found a rhythm after only a few strokes, and Crew pumped his hips upward every time I came down, forcing himself impossibly deeper. No man had ever hit that spot before, the one I’d only ever been able to locate with my vibrator.
The vibrator I’d have to throw away because if it wasn’t Crew’s cock, I didn’t want it.
“Fuck, look at you,” he groaned, thrusting up into me, then shifting his hand off my throat to hook his fingers into one side of my mouth. I bit down on them, swirling my tongue over the sting, eliciting another rumble from his chest. “You feel so fucking good. I swear my cock was molded specifically for your pussy, little phoenix.”
“I’m so full,” I agreed, the words coming out slurred and garbled around his fingers.
“Told you.”
“Told me what?” I asked, though it sounded more like, toe me wha?
“That you could take it.”
I glanced back at him in time to see him wink at me.
Then he let go of my face to grab me, his massive palms easily wrapping around my upper arms as he held me in place and bucked up into me.
There wasn’t anything I could do but enjoy the ride, unintelligible words and sounds of pleasure falling from my lips as he fucked me. My orgasm shimmered barely out of reach.
“More, more, more,” I chanted.
Understanding what I needed, Crew gathered both of my arms in one hand, using his other to reach around me and find my clit.
“Oh, shit, fuck,” I swore as he touched me, glancing pressure at first that felt so fucking good but still was not quite enough.
“You wanna get off, Aspen?”
“ Please .”
“Beg for it, baby. You can do better than that.”
The longer he toyed with me, the greater a mess I became.
“Please, Crew. Please,” I begged, moments away from tears in my desperation to climax. “Please let me come.”
He pulled me back further, angling me to better access that bundle of nerves, and I felt his thighs tighten beneath me as his toes flexed into the end of the tub, anchoring himself in place. I writhed atop him, panting, desperate for more friction .
“Who fucks you this good, Aspen?”
“You do.”
“No one else but me.”
“No one.”
“This pretty pink pussy and this tight little body are mine now. Understood?”
“Yes!”
“Good girl,” he said, picking up the pace of both his hips and his fingers. My quads burned as I leveraged myself up and down on his length, driving us both to the brink. Water splashed everywhere, slopping over the sides of the tub and into my face.
I didn’t care. The world could’ve been ending beyond this room, and I wouldn’t have noticed as my pleasure arced higher and higher and higher.
At last, the wave crested and fell, dragging me into the deep where my entire body went rigid before breaking apart in spasms. From head to toe, I shivered and thrashed against Crew’s hold as he continued to work me. Roaring his own release moments later, his cock pulsed inside me, prolonging the aftershocks of my own.
That orgasm went on for hours—no, days .
My brain was wiped entirely clean when I returned to myself. Not a single thing in the world penetrated the afterglow save Crew when he slipped free from my pussy and I collapsed against him.
He banded his arms around me, burying his face in my neck.
Neither of us spoke, but my stomach emitted a loud growl, and Crew chuckled.
“Since you like me taking care of you so much, let me feed you,” he said, palm sliding down to rest on my abdomen. “And then, I need to get some sleep.”
“Oh my god!” I yelped, shoving out of his grip and stumbling out of the tub. My legs wobbled, about as useful as two pieces of licorice. “Why didn’t you say something?”
A brow curved toward his forehead, then raised his hands in front of him, lifting one higher than the other. “Fucking you…or sleeping. The choice seems obvious to me.”
With a huff, I stumbled to the linen closet and withdrew two of the fluffy white bath sheets, wrapping one around my body before returning to him.
Crew smirked at me, which only raised my ire.
“What’re you laughing at?”
“You,” he said simply.
“Get out of the tub, Crew, and stop dicking around.”
“Oh, I’ll show you dicking around,” he grinned, reaching for me.
“No!” I said forcefully, dancing out of the way, even stomping my foot a little to make my point. “I can feed myself. You get out and get into bed right this instant.”
“You’re kinda bossy.”
“You have to be exhausted,” I groused, moving to the other end of the tub and pressing the lever to release the drain plug. Water gurgled as it coiled down the pipes.
“It’s a good kind of exhausted,” he said, finally standing and accepting the towel I held out to him.
I tried, I really did, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. From head to toe, the man was the pinnacle of masculinity. Sandy blond hair, the longer strands on top damp and spiky from my hands brushing through. His perfect face, those high cheekbones and jaw so sharp it could cut glass. The crystal blue eyes I learned darkened when he was angry or aroused, the straight nose, the full mouth that said the wickedest things but could be so gentle on my body. The broad shoulders and chest, arms roped with muscle, the chiseled abs and obliques that cut in at his hips. The long, muscular legs. Hell, even his feet were perfect.
The tattoos and the smattering of hair on his chest and lower abdomen turned what would be a pretty boy into the most gorgeous, rugged man I’d ever laid eyes on .
And the fact that his muscles weren’t only for show? And that the tattoos covered scars he’d gotten saving lives?
I damn near fell to the floor at his feet and begged him to keep me forever. To know of all the women in the world, this man—this gorgeous, intelligent, overprotective man—wanted me was surreal to say the least.
“What’s that look for?” he asked as he wrapped the towel around his waist.
“Trying to figure out how I got here.”
“You rolled into town in that piece of shit car, were taken hostage by a crazed serial killer arsonist, and had that gorgeous ass saved by the hottest firefight in the world.”
His grin was cheeky, and he stepped close to me, wrapping my own towel around my shoulders and hauling me into his chest.
My entire body sagged in relief, like one touch from Crew was all I needed to unwind.
“Never been more grateful for a near death experience in my life.”
Crew fisted my hair and peeled my head off his chest so he could bend and capture my mouth. I fucking loved the way this man kissed—with his whole body, wrapping himself around me and injecting the slide of his plush lips against mine with every emotion swirling within him. When he pulled away, I was panting, ready to go for another round.
I was officially insatiable where he was concerned.
Those gorgeous blue eyes held mine as he said, “Let’s not have a repeat of that, okay?”
As he’d said it before, it went without saying this time around. In the way he kissed me, the reverence with which he held my body, how he played with me until I was a writhing mass of pleasure until I came so hard I forgot my own name, I knew. But also in the small, quiet ways he took care of me: knowing how I took my coffee, wanting to stay awake to feed me, hell, even asking his dumb older brother to stay with me when he was on shift.
I knew how he felt.
He wouldn’t survive it if something happened to me.
And I understood because the feeling was mutual.
I’d barely survived losing my sister.
I didn’t think I could do it again if something happened to Crew.