22. Lennon
22
LENNON
“I
would stay,” I whispered. “But?—”
“No buts. Just stay.” CJ rolled over, pinning me beneath him.
I had been looking at the stars, mesmerized by the way they coated the sky like glitter spilled across the heavens. Now, I saw the way they reflected from my eyes into his.
“What changed?” I asked as my eyes fluttered closed, and I melted into his roaming hands. “One day you’re on a warpath to get me out, and the next I’m in your bed.”
Contrition blanketed his face. “I started thinking about what I could gain instead of what I lost.” His lips were soft against mine as he kissed away my fears. “I kept thinking about the woman at the bar who stole my breath and emptied my wallet. I kept thinking about how I’d give her every penny I had to my name, just to spend a few more minutes with her around a pool table. I kept thinking about how I hate the lights from the restaurant. But if it means I get to watch her walk to work and walk back home at the end of the night, I’d want them to be a million times brighter. I kept thinking about how I’d give up all the stars in the sky if it meant I got to hold the one that fell into my arms.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and slanted my mouth over his. “So, that’s your fire line?”
“I thought I could dig a fire line to keep us from going up in flames, but I can’t.” His eyes bore into mine with undeniable heat. “I’d burn it all down for you.”
I clawed at his belt buckle before he could get another word out.
No one had shown up for me the way CJ had. No one had defended me the way he had. No one had protected me the way he had.
“Fuck me,” I begged and unbuckled his belt, fumbling with the zipper of his pants. “Please, please, please?—”
His smile was devilish, but his eyes were kind. “Since you asked so nicely.”
CJ worked my jeans and panties off my hips and balled his shirt and hoodie under my head like a pillow.
“I’ve had enough sweetness for the night,” I whispered as I raked my nails down his chest. “You won’t break me.” Cold air flooded my chest as he lifted my shirt and bra over my head.
“Hello, beautiful.”
Heat flooded my cheeks as he gazed at my body in the moonlight. CJ sifted a hand through my charcoal hair and used the other to gently trace the black and white tattoos on my arm as he straddled my hips. “I should have known the first night we met what lay beneath. Embers always hide under ash, but they’re still as hot as the flames.”
Heat and pressure tugged at my breast as he sucked on my nipple. Flashes of ecstasy bolted through my extremities and settled deep in my core.
“Touch me,” I pleaded.
He released my nipple with a pop. “I am touching you.”
I grabbed his hand, forcing him to cup my sex. “There.”
CJ chuckled. “You want my fingers inside you?”
“Yes.”
“How bad?” he mused as he circled my nipple piercing with his tongue. “Goddamn, I love these. You’re so fucking sexy.”
I pinched his nipple, making him hiss in excruciating delight. “Get the show on the road.”
“Bad girl,” he said with a grunt. He flipped me over to my hands and knees with surprising ease. CJ grabbed my hips, forcing them up and making my back arch down. “Feel free to scream. There’s no one out here to hear you.”
That was the only warning before his hand came down on my ass. Heat seared my skin as he turned my ass bright pink. My breath came in gasps and pants, but I held in the sounds he was trying hard to pull from my body.
“You look incredible like this, Len.” His palm flattened between my shoulder blades. “Stretch out for me. Knees wide. Ass up and arch your back. Chest on the blanket. Stretch those beautiful arms out in front of you.”
The position pressed my piercings to the ground, teasing them with each jolt and shift. My pussy was open and dripping for him in a lewd display.
CJ growled as he gripped my ass, squeezing and spreading it as I lay prostrate in reverence to him.
“Is this where you want me, darling?” he teased as he curled his finger around the opening of my pussy.
“Yes,” I begged as he moved his finger up to tease my clit.
“It doesn’t sound like you want it badly enough.” CJ rubbed my clit in steady strokes. “But goddamn, you sure are wet. It’s practically dripping down your leg. This pussy is begging for me, so why aren’t you?”
With each teasing jab, I grew more and more desperate. I craved him. I ached for him. I needed to feel him inside me, stretching me to the brim.
“CJ, please!” I cried out into the night air.
Fingers scraped up my scalp, grabbing my ashen hair and yanking back to expose the burning coals beneath. “Louder,” he barked. “Every time I’ve been in this pussy we’ve had to be quiet. I want to hear you, Lennon. I want to hear how badly you want me to fuck your cunt and fill you up. Scream for me, trouble. The stars will keep our little secret.”
I gasped as he knocked my knees farther apart. Three quick spanks against the sensitive folds of my pussy had every scream he demanded ripping free from my chest. I clawed at the grass, digging into the dirt for purchase as he cupped and squeezed my cunt, teasing me.
I heard the rip and tear of a condom packet, then felt the blunt head of his cock nudging at my entrance. Wide hands spanned the crease where my hips met my thighs as he pushed into my pussy and sheathed himself inside me.
I cried out at the stretch and sting of being filled.
“You sound so pretty when you scream for me.” He slammed his hips against my ass, driving into me again and again and again.
I ached for him. I craved him. I couldn’t breathe without him.
“Yes, yes, yes!” I screamed to the stars that were listening.
“That’s my girl. Tell me how good it feels.”
“S-so fucking g-good,” I gasped.
“Please let me come,” I said with a pathetic squeak. “I need to come. I need it. Need you.”
He slowed his strokes and bent over me, placing a gentle kiss on my spine. “Yes, ma’am. Since you asked so nicely.”
CJ grabbed my hips and levered up, stroking my G-spot with the head of his dick as he set a steady pace that allowed him to tease my clit. “Come when you’re ready. I’m right behind you.”
It wouldn’t last ten more seconds. I gasped and groaned as my body seized around him. The rush of blood in my ears blocked out the sound of him grunting as he came.
It was dirty and animalistic and primal and so, so depraved.
And my God, I loved it.
We righted ourselves and caught our breath. While CJ handled the condom, I started pawing around for my clothes.
“Hey.” Safe arms banded around me, pulling me back into his chest. He pressed soft kisses against my neck. “You okay, love?”
Something warm broke inside me, crashing around in churning waves.
“Just fine.”
“Len...” Concern filled his eyes. “Tell me if I took it too far.”
The emotion that was strangling me turned into a laugh. “It was everything.”
It wasn’t the act that broke me. It was him calling me “love.”
There was a distinct difference in being loved and being love . One was received. I felt CJ’s love when he stood up for me. But him calling me “love” meant that he saw something in me that no one else ever had.
He saw the ability for me to be love for others.
People had always expected me to be the screw-up.
To be the abrasive one.
To be the bad girl.
To be the hustler.
No one had ever expected love from me or seen it in me.
But he did.
We rode back to the stables in silence. My ass ached and stung with each rock of the saddle beneath me. I had never been so grateful to be back on my feet in my life.
CJ did most of the work. He got the equipment off the horses and settled them for the night, but he talked me through it like this wasn’t a one-time thing.
We walked back to the bunkhouse with his jacket on my shoulders and his hand in mine.
“Will you take me out there again sometime?” I asked.
CJ looked at me, a little surprised. “You liked it?”
“I don’t think I’ve seen stars like that before. There were so many.” I looked up at the sky the closer we got to the bunkhouse. Endless galaxies still hung above us, but light pollution blurred them.
He paused in the shadow of the bunkhouse and pressed a soft kiss to my temple, lingering for a moment as the crickets sang us a serenade. The tenderness of the moment was a knife to the heart.
“I’ll take you out there anytime you want, as long as you stay.” There was sincerity in his words and conviction in his eyes. “You and me, trouble. Every night under the stars. I’ll build you a house with a glass roof so you never have to go far to find them.”
I couldn’t help myself. I crashed into his chest, tucking myself between his arms and soaking in the safety he promised.
“Come on,” he said as he dropped a kiss on top of my head and guided me to the door.
We snuck through the darkened bunkhouse, avoiding the curious glances from the ranch hands who were still awake. They all knew CJ and I had been cohabiting, but no one said a damn thing about it. Probably because I usually made breakfast for everyone before work.
Bacon was an excellent bribe.
There was an ease between the two of us as we went through our routine and got ready for bed. We shared little touches as we danced around each other, swapping positions at the sink and getting undressed. Gliding hands and gentle squeezes connected us with each pass.
“What’s this?” I asked as I crawled into bed and picked up the charred piece of wood from the nightstand on his side.
CJ paused as he flicked the bathroom lights off. His body tensed, every muscle rippling and flexing as he looked at the wood chip in my hand.
I placed it back slowly and shifted to my side of bed. “Okay...Sorry. I won’t bring up the mysterious piece of burned wood again.”
He climbed into bed without a word and picked it up. “This...this is my anger.” A sigh escaped his lips. “Brooke came to the ranch back when the restaurant and lodge were being built. She had some trouble follow her out here. Some guys she used to live with thought the ranch would be an easy target to make some quick cash. They stole tools from the construction site. They broke into Ray’s house and stole some drugs.”
He worked his finger over the charred edge that had been worn smooth from the motion.
“We were having a bonfire when they decided to fuck around the construction site where the restaurant was being built. Some of the guys and I went in after them. I ended up tackling one of them.” His voice turned hoarse. “He pulled a gun on me and fired. Didn’t get me, but the bullet hit a welding tank and it exploded. Caught the restaurant and part of the lodge on fire.”
“Oh my God,” I whispered. “Were you hurt?”
He shrugged. “No. I kicked his ass.”
“Carson . . .”
I knew how it felt to have that kind of near-death experience. I’d never forget the moment my brother pulled a gun on me. It haunted me at night when I closed my eyes.
“It’s fine. The fire pushed the construction back about nine months. Fuckin’ red tape and all that shit. The investors were pissed, but they ponied up to get it done.”
I rested my head on his shoulder and curled into his side. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Why’s that?”
“Who else would have given me such a warm welcome to the ranch?”
CJ chuckled. “Smartass.”
“It’s better than being a jackass.”
“I’m sorry I took my anger out on you.” He cupped my cheek, cradling my jaw as he pressed another kiss to my temple. “But man, I’m glad you were tough as nails and didn’t run. I’d have regretted it every day if I didn’t get a chance to win you back. And if giving up my land for that eyesore was the price I had to pay for you, it was worth it.”
My spine stiffened. “You gave up your land?”
“I guess ‘give up’ wasn’t the right phrase for it.” He dug his fingernail into the wood. “I sold it. The spot where the lodge is...That used to be mine. My parents, my brothers, and I—we all had a plot of land that belonged to each of us. My brothers had already built on their pieces. I had started thinking about it, but didn’t see the need to pull the trigger yet. I was happy living here with the guys. So, when Cassandra offered me money from the investors, I took it.”
My heart broke for him. Regret marred every piece of him.
“It was the only logical place to put the lodge and restaurant. Building them farther out would have cost a fortune to extend the water and electric. Plus, it would’ve messed with the herd rotation. There was no right choice,” he said as he stared at the wood. “If I kept the land that was rightfully mine, the ranch might have gone under. I would never have forgiven myself. But if I sold my land, I’d lose something I could never get back.”
“So, you chose the ranch and kept your family safe.”
“Yeah,” he said as he set the wood aside and cut off the light. “And dammit, it hurt.”