27
It was an hour before the award ceremony. Soon, Nat would stand on the podium and receive her ill-won title and the prize that went with it. Asta tried not to think about it.
She had found the suite empty when she returned. Gem had left a message for her: her parents wanted to get a hotel room for the night. He would be back after getting them settled in.
Asta felt bad that she had disappeared on them with no explanation, but for once, she could not bring herself to regret her decisions.
She went to collapse on to the bed and found that someone had taken her embroidered race suit out of the closet, folded it neatly, and placed it on her pillow.
Her mother’s doing, surely. It was probably intended as a hint that she should start packing her things.
Asta pulled out her suitcase and picked up the suit.
Something crinkled, and she saw that there was a note sticking out from between the layers of folded fabric.
Asta, read her mother’s slanted handwriting, it makes me so proud to see you wearing this.
I remember the hours I spent sewing it for you, the day you first started teaching us what it meant for you to follow your dreams and not ours.
I am sorry that we have been such poor students, but we are learning.
I know you don’t think much of charms, but I think it worked fairly well. A flame. For courage. Kisses, Mama.
Asta unfolded the suit and searched for the bright flame her mother had sewn into the cuff. She had always wondered why her mother had put it there – the only decoration on a plain canvas suit – and now she knew. It was a charm. A silly enchantment.
Asta couldn’t help but smile, imagining her mother ducking into the little charm shop in Medley to buy the enchanted thread, carrying it home in her purse, sewing it into the canvas suit, confident that it would make Asta brave.
What a loving gift she had bestowed on her daughter.
It was sweet that she thought it had worked.
Asta thought back. Maybe it had. Without it, she might have come running home after the first week at Pillar.
Instead of collapsing in shame when Pikki came after her, she had stayed and fought.
Was that courage? Maybe. Maybe not. Was it courage that had brought her to Hummer?
Or was that her constant need to prove herself?
Maybe it was both. Perhaps, for her, the two were not so far apart.
One thing she knew for sure, staring at the bright flame of her mother’s hand-sewn blessing: whatever power the charm held, it had run out.
What she had done yesterday might have been daring, but it had nothing of courage in it.
She had been afraid, and her fear had beaten her.
She wished this wasn’t how she was leaving Silverscale.
A key card sounded in the door. When the door cracked open, however, it was not Gem but Nat who slipped through.
‘What the hell?’ Asta cried.
Nat grinned. ‘Hiya, hot stuff.’
‘How did you get in my room?’
Nat held up the card. ‘Karol. He’s good with the tech. How do you think you got your flowers?’
The sound of bickering dragons spilled through the opening of Carmine’s hatch.
‘Is that Carmine?’ Asta asked, limping around the foot of the bed to investigate.
‘I put Vulture in with him,’ Nat said. ‘They won’t kill each other in the next five minutes, right?’ Nat flopped herself into one of the leather chairs by the door.
‘Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere claiming your blood money?’
Nat was wearing her blue race suit, but it was unzippered to the waist, with the arms tied around her middle. Otherwise, she was ready for the cameras. Her hair was teased, and her makeup was all dramatic lines and loud colors. She had on large neon-blue earrings.
She stretched her legs out and crossed them at the ankles. All the horrible things that had been done for her sake, and she just sat there without a care in the world. It made Asta want to spit.
‘About that,’ Nat said, her fingers laced over her undershirt. ‘I’ve been thinking. I probably shouldn’t take it, right?’
Asta was stunned. ‘What are you talking about?’
Nat started to answer but stopped, furrowing her brow. ‘You think I should take it? Really, Ek? I’m surprised at you.’
‘No, you shouldn’t take the money! You fucking cheated. You made me cheat for you.’ Asta noticed Nat’s eyes dart nervously to the door, as if she thought someone might be on the other side, listening.
‘That was Hummer. You know that.’
Asta wanted to scream. ‘Don’t give me that. You knew. This whole damned time.’
Nat glowered at her. ‘Oh, shove it up your ass. Like you didn’t know what you were getting into.’
‘I didn’t!’
‘You didn’t want to know.’
Asta’s stomach turned.
Nat wasn’t done. ‘You thought you were special because he was leaving you alone. You didn’t care what he was doing to anyone else.’
Asta sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, rubbing her leg. ‘You could have told me what was happening. But you always keep people at such a distance.’
‘Up. Your. Ass.’
Asta lifted her eyes to Nat’s. ‘And what about Pikki Lowell? Up hers, too?’
Nat’s face hardened, but there was guilt behind her dark-lined eyes. ‘I didn’t know he would go after her.’
‘Like fuck you didn’t.’ Asta spoke through gritted teeth. ‘You are a coward, Natalia Bruce.’
The dragons had gone from grumbling at each other to spatting, and the sound of lashing tails thudded through the wall.
Nat’s eyes narrowed. She leaned forward in her chair. ‘Say that again, I dare you.’
Asta held her gaze. ‘You’re a coward.’ But the anger dropped from her voice. ‘We all are.’
Nat rolled her eyes, exasperated. ‘Damn it, Ek. Don’t you get it? That’s why I’m here.’
‘Get what? You haven’t told me anything.’
Nat clenched her fists like she wanted to punch Asta. ‘You haven’t let me talk, bitch!’
Asta gaped at her, whacking the bed in frustration. ‘So talk!’
‘I’m going after Hummer.’
The words hung in the air, half visible and pungent as smoke.
‘Are you crazy?’
‘Obviously. But it’s now or never, right? If I go up there and take that prize, the Bruce name won’t mean shit ever again. This isn’t who we are. We don’t always play by the rules, but we aren’t cheaters.’
Asta could barely find her voice. ‘What are you going to do?’
Nat scrunched up her face. ‘I haven’t totally worked that out yet.’
‘Nat! The ceremony starts in less than an hour.’
Nat stood up, flicking her nails nervously. ‘I gotta do it, though, right?’
Asta’s mind was racing. ‘I’ll go with you to Flávia right now. You can tell her everything. It’ll be quick and quiet. Then we’ll get you out of the city, somewhere safe, until they lock Hummer up.’
Nat looked at Asta like she had suggested she take up needlepoint. ‘What, are you stupid? There is no “quick and quiet”. Quiet means dead.’ Nat scratched her head. ‘I gotta go big.’
‘How big?’
Nat bounced her eyebrows. ‘Big. Asta-Ekenberg-Big.’ She stepped closer and poked Asta’s shoulder with her finger. ‘It’ll be like old times. One last run, you and me.’ Nat’s eyes sparkled with mischief. ‘But we’re going to need Golden Boy.’