14. Grace
14
GRACE
I look in the bathroom mirror, staring at the woman with hollow eyes that is reflected there. I hate being the woman that Benny turned me into. Ford had such a great time last night. He was nice enough not to question me too much about Andrew. He even seemed to let it go after I mentioned we dated briefly before I got married. I really like Ford, but I can’t be the woman he wants. Last night was proof of that. My conversation with Andrew opened wounds that were better left alone. I don’t hate the man, but what he did hurt deeply. He may not be responsible for my marriage to Benny, but the way he treated me—cutting me out of his life after making me think we had a future—made me feel worthless. Sure, he may have been going through his own shit, but the man I fell in love with would have handled me with care. He always had before. I would have done anything for him. I tried to fight for him. He just tossed me away.
With a sigh, I hastily tie my hair up in a messy bun. It doesn’t matter what I look like. I’m nothing special. The way Andrew and Benny treated me is proof of that. I’ve tried to tell Ford the same thing. He doesn’t listen. I can’t worry about it. I have to concentrate on Asher. My son is my only priority. Carter Ford might think we could be more to one another, but this trip is proof he's wrong. I’ve gone years without any of my past touching me. Now, it shows up right when I decide to take a chance. The Man Upstairs must be having a grand old time laughing at me at this point.
I sneak out of my room as quietly as I can. I’m relieved to find that Ford is still in his bedroom. I’ll head downstairs and grab some coffee, then come back here and demand Ford take me home early. I need to hug my little boy. He centers me.
Slipping the hotel keycard into my back pocket, I quietly head downstairs. I briefly think about leaving a note for Ford but decide against it. Maybe I can annoy him enough that he’ll leave me alone. No man wants to put forth effort on a lost cause. Andrew didn’t.
I get in the elevator, my thoughts going to Andrew. I know our conversation brought him closure, but for me, whatever relationship we had ended when he ghosted me. I didn’t even want him to explain. None of his answers can repair the hurt and pain he left behind. I wouldn’t tell him that. I’d rather keep my pain private. That way, it can’t be used against me. Being ghosted is worse than someone just ending the relationship. It tells you that you’re not worth even the small effort it would take to say goodbye. It leaves you with so many unanswered questions that eat at you and make you feel completely worthless. Andrew taught me that lesson. Benny taught me to keep my pain to myself. He used to love using it against me. I refuse to give anyone the chance to do that to me again.
I step out of the elevator, looking around. This hotel and casino are really nice. Ford, Andrew, and the others appear unimpressed, but I am. Despite my ex working for the Korslovas, I’ve never been exposed to this type of luxury. It’s decorated in different shades of gold and black, with marble tiled floors. It really is beautiful.
“We have to stop meeting like this,” Sloane’s voice quips, making me turn around. She’s wearing a huge smile on her face. What would it feel like to be that carefree? I can’t begin to imagine.
“Um … hi,” I murmur, reaching back to touch my messy hair. Maybe I should have tried to impress a little.
“You must stir early, like I do,” Sloane responds, still smiling.
“I needed some coffee. Ford was still asleep,” I explain.
“Yeah, Andrew doesn’t take many days to himself, so I figured I’d let him sleep.”
She seems genuine. I like her, but I wish she wasn’t here. Other than Joe or Karen, I don’t spend a lot of time in one-on-one conversations. My customers don’t count. Being friendly makes the tips worth it and they feed my son. I follow her to the coffee counter, where we get our drinks. I inhale the potent smell of coffee—allowing it to infiltrate my brain.
I look up nervously at Sloane. “I was just going to grab a seat and call my son,” I explain and point to the small table in the corner.
“I was going to go do some window shopping, seeing what stores there are without tormenting Andrew,” she counters, motioning in the direction of the walkway to the mall.
“I think shopping for anything nonmechanical is torture for a man. My hip is bothering me, though. So, I should probably sit. By all means, though, feel free to go shop. I’m just going to call and check on my son.”
“That’s right, Andrew told me you have a son,” Sloane says. “I’m sure he keeps you running.”
She follows me over to the table. It’s all I can do to resist snarling out in frustration. I may like her, but I’d like her more at a distance. I get the feeling that Sloane never lets herself be in the background. She’s too gregarious and fun-loving. My complete opposite.
“He does, but Asher is my biggest blessing. I’m not sure where I’d be without him. He keeps me going on the darkest of days. He’s my whole world.” She looks at me and there’s something in her eyes. Is she wanting closure, just like Andrew? It’s not like I’m a threat to her. She must know that. Maybe she wants to know that I’m not going to try to be a presence is Andrew’s life. I could be imagining the awkwardness. Still, I feel compelled to address the elephant in the room. I muster up my confidence and let it rip. “Listen, Sloane, it doesn’t seem like you have any issues with me, but I just wanted to make sure you weren’t worried about Andrew and me. I know I looked like a deer caught in headlights during that elevator ride. I couldn’t help it. There were just so many times that I wondered if I’d ever run into him again. Then, he was just there …”
“You both looked like you’d seen a ghost.” I nod. That’s one way to explain it for sure. Kind of ironic since he ghosted me. I don’t tell her that, however. “I didn’t know your name or anything, really, just about your existence and what had happened back then,” she adds.
“It was, well, honestly, it was a period in my life that I’d rather forget.”
“Grace—”
“I want the best for Andrew. I always have. It seems that he has found happiness with you, and I'm glad. I want that for him and for you. I just wanted you to know that. I appreciate Andrew trying to give us both closure, but like I told him, it’s really not needed any longer.”
Her hand comes out to touch mine, squeezing it. There’s a kind look on her face. Maybe she can tell how broken I am, I’m not sure, but I smile at her and this one isn’t quite so fake. We sip on our drinks as she continues to make small talk about what she does for a living, and small stories about her life in Virginia. I find I don’t mind it. I’ve never really had a friend, so girl talk is kind of new to me. Thankfully, Sloane does most of the talking. I’m only expected to say a word here or there, which I manage without being too embarrassed. I get that weird feeling someone is watching me again. I don’t see anyone, though. I shake it off. Eventually, both of us get text notifications, making me jump slightly.
“Sounds like the guys are finally awake!” she says, tossing her empty coffee cup away in the trash can near our table. She pulls her phone out, smiling as she reads the message and begins typing away.
“Andrew wants to go for a ride, so I’m going to throw some jeans on,” she informs me, looking up from her phone.
“Have fun. I’m just going to call my son and hit the ladies’ room.”
“Oh, I can wait for you,” she offers.
“No, don’t worry about me,” I argue, my hand moving up to touch the heart pendant I’m wearing. It’s a locket with my son’s picture inside. I really wish I was with him right now. Sloane’s gaze moves to the locket, but she doesn’t say anything. “Seriously, I like the quiet and Asher isn’t used to me being gone, so I may be on the phone for a bit,” I reply. “Maybe I’ll see you later,” I add. It sounds like the friendly thing to say—something a normal person would offer. I take out my phone. My text is from Joe checking on me. I knew it wouldn’t be Ford. I’ve not even given him my number.
“If you’re sure,” she says.
“Yep, definitely. Go enjoy your day.”
“You too, Grace. It was nice getting a chance to talk to you.”
“It was,” I answer, and I find I’m not completely lying.
Once we say our goodbyes, she disappears among the people milling around. I start to call Asher but decide to go to the restroom first. I don’t want to keep sitting out here. With my luck, Andrew might walk by. That’s the last thing I need.
I take off toward the restroom. I’m twirling the locket in my hand, thinking that soon I’ll be back home, leaving Andrew, Sloane, and most likely Ford in the past. That’s for the best. I’m better when it’s just me and Asher. I walk toward the restroom, not really watching the people around me, which is a mistake.
“Look what we got here,” a man laughs, grabbing the locket and ripping it out of my hand.
“Zero, what the fuck, dude?”
“I just wanted to see if it was gold,” the man says. The guy behind me has one arm around me, his hand slapped on my mouth, keeping me from screaming. “It’s fake, damn it,” he adds, letting my locket fall.
“You’re such an idiot, Zero.”
I fight, trying to get away. Unfortunately, they have pulled me around the corner into the small corridor leading to the restrooms. It’s eerily empty. Then, I notice the out-of-order sign.
“Quit using my name, asshole.”
“Why? Who’s going to hear it? This bitch is dead once the boss and Any get ahold of her. Are you sure we got the right girl?”
“Any said she had red hair with big tits,” he says, slapping his filthy hand against my breast and squeezing it. I try to bite the hand on my mouth but can’t. “Plus, she was talking with Vector all chummy like last night. Right?”
“True. True,” Zero says. My eyes get big as saucers as he pulls out a syringe, grinning at me with his half-rotted teeth. “Say goodnight, hot stuff.”
The other guy holds me so tight that I can’t move. I’m helpless. He thrusts the needle into my neck. Before I can figure out what to do next, my vision blurs, and darkness swallows me.