Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
ALINA
Ispent hours lying in bed and doing nothing.
Some days were so uneventful that only the stern face of Grace or her young servant who brought us food brightened my day.
For long stretches of time I walked outside, or stared out the window, oblivious to everything around me.
Right when I stopped counting the days, my heart slowed a little.
My anxiety and fear subsided and the calm stillness of the misty air soothed my soul.
I rarely saw Tynan, only during our meals or sometimes I would meet him when I walked. He never tried to spend any time with me anymore. His behavior changed so much that it felt like all the things that happened between us were not more than a beautiful distant dream.
I sighed and poured myself some mint tea. The soft milky white swirls curled up above my steaming hot, ceramic cup and the sweet scent of fresh herbs pacified my nerves.
“Another day like this and I’m going to do something crazy.” Frid paced the room.
“You should really try on some outfits,” I said, not trying to convince her any longer.
“No way. I’m not that weak.”
“Tomorrow is the winter solstice celebration, and don’t forget about Dreich.” Victor stretched his legs out on the couch.
He spent almost all of his time in the house, driving Frid crazy with his observations and snide remarks.
“Are you going?” Frid looked like she was ready to strangle him for bringing it up.
“Not sure yet.” Victor picked up an album with drawings.
“Do you want me to help you with a dress? I’m sure I could modify it any way you would like.” I wrapped my fingers around the cup, soaking its warmth.
I had gone through the closets and found some dresses that could be perfect for Frid. But I would not tell her that, I was too worried about her reaction.
“I’d rather die,” the girl said and Victor pursed his lips.
“You can’t stay trapped in here,” he observed.
Victor was wearing a dark brown shirt and a pair of matching pants. It seemed like he did not miss his flying suit, unlike Frid who still wore her leathers.
“Of course I can. You have no idea how stubborn I am,” Frid hissed.
Suddenly, the front door opened and Grace walked into the house. I was always startled when she came, probably because she never knocked. It was her house, but it would be nice to have a warning.
She wore a light blue dress with layers of delicate lace on the bodice and neck. Smooth, snow white, nearly translucent stones decorated her neck and wrists.
“Good morning!” she said in a cheerful voice.
Before the door closed behind her, a wave of fresh, cool air from the valley reached me and I shivered.
“Good morning!” I looked up.
“Well, it seems your group is going to have another member soon.” Grace made herself comfortable on the low sofa beside Victor.
“What do you mean?” Frid asked.
“Gabrielle is here. Her father just passed, and she is coming to his funeral.” Grace looked at all of us.
“Damn,” Victor muttered and his gaze landed on me.
I frowned trying hard to place the name.
“This is getting interesting. And I’m going to miss all the fun.” Frid dropped into a chair.
“Is Tynan still in love with her?” Grace asked and I almost spilled my tea.
Gabrielle. She was Tynan’s fiance.
How could I have forgotten that? But, she’s married now. Isn’t she?
The swirl of emotions hit me all at once, and I was afraid that my face betrayed how I felt. I looked down, trying hard to conceal my feelings. I could not help noticing that no one responded to her question.
Did that mean he was still in love with her?
“Did she come with her husband?” Victor asked.
“I don’t think so. I haven’t seen him.” Grace settled deeper into the cushions, enjoying our reactions.
“Damn it,” Victor uttered again, his eyes returning to the album.
“Do you like what you see?” Grace gave him an encouraging smile.
“It’s . . . unusual.” Victor turned the page.
“Unusual? It is magnificent! Those works were made by the famous Luciano.” Grace peered at him.
“Never heard of him,” Victor muttered.
“You have never heard of the greatest artist of all time?” Grace started to lose her temper.
“Maybe he’s not that famous then?” Victor closed the book.
I started to worry that Tynan’s grandma was going to choke him with her well manicured hands when Tynan himself walked into the house.
His eyes abruptly landed on me, but he quickly looked away.
I lowered my gaze feeling stupid for holding my breath, for not being able to get him out of my head, for finding him so captivating.
“Grace,” he greeted the older woman.
“Did you see Gabrielle?” she asked.
“I did,” he answered after a short pause.
“Did she come with her husband?” Frid asked.
“No, she’s here alone. She said that her brother’s going to come too,” Tynan responded.
I watched his hands as he picked up a cup and poured himself some freshly brewed tea. His movements were precise and confident, as if he did not know what it was like to be indecisive about anything in his life.
He talked to her, he saw the girl he wanted to marry.
Was he still in love with her? Why did he meet her? Were they so close that after everything that happened, they could meet up and talk about their lives?
A new emotion blossomed in my chest and it was not pretty. My eyes started to burn. I wanted to leave the house, run as far as I could. And for the first time, the cozy little cottage seemed more like a prison cell. I looked down at my cup, forcing myself to concentrate on the flowery design.
He loved her once before, and he probably still had strong feelings.
I was nothing but a strange, delusional girl who invented something that was never real.
All this time, I only saw what I wanted to see.
Tynan was not the one to blame, he never promised me anything, he never deceived me.
Maybe at some point he found me attractive, but he loved his Gabrielle. He probably never stopped loving her.
“Excuse me,” I said, awkwardly standing up.
I realized that everyone fell silent and I could not stand it. I put on my boots and a thick shawl before passing through the house one more time and quickly stepped outside.
As soon as the thick, misty air hit my face, I thought I was going to cry.
I started walking faster and faster without knowing where I was going.
I placed one foot in front of the other, unable to shut down my gloomy thoughts.
Then the sound of a horse’s hooves on the wet ground made me turn around.
Denis pulled up the reins, coming to a halt. I adjusted my shawl, trying hard to stretch my lips into a friendly smile.
“I was wondering if I would ever see you again,” the young man said as a flush of pink painted his cheeks.
“Hello,” I said, dropping my attempt at a smile.
He jumped to the ground and joined me, matching my slow walk.
“The winter celebration is tomorrow. I was wondering if you were going?” he asked.
“I don’t know yet.” I averted my eyes.
“You should come. It’s going to be fun.”
“What’s the winter celebration?” I asked.
“Music, dancing, and the best cooks of Darragh are competing for the title of being the best baker.” He smirked.
“How many cooks do they have here?” I looked at the young man.
“Five. All of them live in the valley close together. They have been fighting for as long as I can remember.” Denis smiled.
“Why are they fighting?”
“Each of them wants to best the others.”
I shook my head and looked afield toward the mountains.
“Did you grow up in the castle?” I asked after some time had passed in complete silence.
“No. My mother worked there, but I was lucky to be kept away from the training grounds.” Denis patted his horse and looked back at me.
“Why?”
“Because it was not a good place to be,” the man said and I caught myself thinking about what I’ve heard from Frid and Sol.
He continued to talk about the celebration and the news of the village. But my mind wandered around, unable to concentrate on anything.
When I returned home, it was already getting dark.
I tried not to make a sound when I took off my dirty boots and placed them on the mat by the door.
Avoiding going back to my room, I took off my shawl as I headed for the wash room and splashed my face with cold water.
Then I stood for a moment in front of the bedroom door.
When I opened it at last, my jaw almost hit the floor.
In the middle of the room, I found Frid standing by the window with a dress in her hands. Her eyes focused on the fabric.
“I’m going to cry,” she murmured and threw the dress onto the bed.
“Have you changed your mind?” I asked.
“I can’t.” She turned away.
“Alright. I understand.” I sighed and moved to my side of the bed before getting under the covers.
“Aren’t you going to convince me to put it on?”
“No.” I sighed again and closed my eyes.
“Why not?”
“You said so yourself, you are very stubborn,” I whispered.
“Are you going to sleep?” Frid asked.
“That’s the plan.” I turned to my side.
“I may need help,” Frid added.
I stayed silent.
“I can’t stay in this stupid house any longer,” the girl continued.
I opened my eyes, rolling over to meet Frid’s gaze.
“Do you want me to help you?”
“Yes, damn it!”
“Alright, alright.” I sat up and took the blankets off.
We looked through the remaining clothes, until we found a simple, sky blue, cotton dress with a long skirt and a contrasting dark brown suede corset.
I was unsure about the combination, but the colors looked beautiful.
Together, we managed to put it on Frid, but the sleeves were too long for her and there was some extra fabric at the waist.
I brought more candles from the kitchen and fetched the sewing kit I already used to alter some of the dresses.
“I don’t know why girls like wearing these. What’s the purpose?” Frid observed, watching me splay the hem of the dress on the floor.