Chapter Eight #2
Kennedy rang the triangle again, calling, “Everything’s ready. Come eat.”
During breakfast, Jade said, “Since we’re breaking camp tomorrow, I’m going to spend the day packing as much of the kitchen as I can. Hannah’s volunteered to help me, and Delores wants to team with Kennedy, so are you two okay to work together?”
“Sure,” Nora said. Fallon nodded.
Addressing the whole group, Jade added, “Let’s get as close as we can to finishing this section, but don’t push yourselves too hard. I don’t want anyone hurt on the last day.”
As they began eating, Gwen and Tina appeared. While Tina filled her plate, Gwen motioned Nora aside. In a near whisper, she said, “Listen, I’m sorry about last night, but you know how it is.”
“I’m not sure I do.” Nora wasn’t going to pretend it was acceptable to refuse someone in need. Especially after Fallon’s example.
Gwen seemed confused but lowered her voice even further.
“Our shit, you know. It would have been in plain sight. Plus, Tina’s such a slob.
Her clothes and stuff were everywhere.” When Nora didn’t respond, Gwen took her arm.
“But listen, we’re going to make it up to you.
We want you to hang out with us in Denver during our week off.
” With a squeeze she added, “Nonstop partying without having to look over your shoulder, right? And we know a guy we want to hook you up with. Super hot and a good dancer too.”
Nora hadn’t given any thought to what she’d do during her time off, other than not going home. No one else had mentioned their plans, making her wonder if she’d gotten left out of other options. “I’ll think about it,” she said to Gwen, who seemed satisfied.
Fallon was quiet as they walked toward their assigned area. “What are you going to do next week?” Nora asked, genuinely curious but also trying to get back to casual conversation.
“Oh, I’ll be staying at base camp doing some training. What about you?”
“I’m not sure.” Nora could feel her indecision. “Gwen invited me to join them in Denver, so maybe that.”
Fallon tilted her head curiously. “Why don’t you go home?”
“Why don’t you?” she countered.
“Because I’m getting trained to be a crew leader.” Fallon’s tone was a cross between patient and strained. “I told you, this is what I want to do and where I want to do it. What about you?”
“It would be tough on Tyler to have me home for a week when I’ll just have to leave again. Not to mention all the interrogation and harassment from my father. It’s not worth it.”
Fallon didn’t respond for a few minutes.
They reached the part of the forest where they’d be cutting and found a spot to put their equipment.
Nora was priming her saw when Fallon said, “You didn’t ask for my opinion, but I’m going to give it to you anyway.
I think going anywhere or doing anything with those two would be foolish at best and possibly unsafe.
You’d be better off making peace with your family. ”
Putting her saw down, Nora faced Fallon. “You talked to me before about how wonderful family is, but you never say anything about yours. Why is that?”
Fallon sniffed once, adjusting the bandana that held back her hair.
“Maybe I do have an idealized version of what family is. But if that’s true, it’s probably because I don’t have one.
I’m an only child. My father was killed in a hit-and-run accident when I was young, and my mother died a couple of years ago. ”
Nora covered her mouth, wordless.
Fallon turned away and began priming her saw.
“About a year after that, the man who was looking after me had a stroke, and he wasn’t ever the same again.
Eventually, his sister came and got him and took him to live with her somewhere in California.
I got by, you know, but I feel those losses every day.
I guess that’s why I don’t talk about it. ”
Nora laid a hand on her back. “I’m really sorry, Fallon. For what you went through and for being such a bitch.”
Fallon didn’t turn, brushing sawdust from her blade. “And I apologize for pushing you about your family. I guess we should get busy, don’t you think?”
Nora recognized classic avoidance behavior, something she’d mastered years ago. “Sure.”
Later, when Jade came by, reminding them to take a break, they sat on a fallen log, eating their protein bars and drinking water, catching their breath. Fallon caught her eye. Cocking her head, she asked, “Why don’t you stay around camp next week and help with some of the incoming sawyers?”
“Generous and persistent. What a combo.”
“I was simply offering you an option.”
“I thought you might be looking for a tentmate for the week,” she teased, amused when Fallon’s color rose.
“Why don’t you ever use your camera here at camp?” Fallon asked, the unexpected change of subject throwing Nora off-balance. “Most people like to have their picture taken.”
“Should I assume your use of ‘most people’ means not you?”
Fallon sighed. “Yeah, I never look right. Too serious, I guess.”
Nudging her, Nora said, “I bet I could make you smile.” An even deeper color crept up Fallon’s neck, making Nora grin. She liked playing with her this way. Fallon felt safe but somehow intriguing at the same time.
“Is that why you’re going to school in Arizona? To make people smile?”
“I’m going to major in photojournalism with a prestigious program.
Photography is something that lights me up inside.
I’ve loved it ever since my brother Art gave me his old cell phone before he went off to hotshot training.
” She could clearly remember the wonder and the intensity of those first months.
“Every day was new when I was experimenting with light and shape and learning about composition in pictures. Going to the grocery store or on my usual route to school, things like that rusted car on blocks I’d seen a hundred times would look different, extraordinary, highlighted with uncommon shading or color.
I learned that by crouching or bending or lying prone, I could capture a sense of motion. It changed the way I saw the world.”
“Then why are you at Firecamp this summer? Why aren’t you out taking pictures?”
Knowing that Fallon had a positive impression of her father, she phrased her answer carefully.
“My father doesn’t think I can make a living at photography.
He thinks it’s unladylike to make all those contortions while carrying around a bag of equipment.
But at the same time, he sees firefighting as strictly man’s work.
So we made a bet. I finish the whole summer at Firecamp, and he’ll pay the last two years of my college tuition. ”
“Wow,” Fallon said. “I can’t believe he would take that bet knowing how good you are with the chainsaw.”
She swallowed another harsh response. “That’s just it, Fallon.
He doesn’t know me. Not anymore. I was his little buddy once, and I gave my older brothers a run for their money, trying to get a smile or a pat on the head.
And then one day, with no explanation, he handed me off to my mother like I’d unexpectedly become worthless. I’ll never understand it.”
“And you can’t forgive him, either.”
“Could you?”
“I don’t know, Nora. I haven’t lived your life. But flavoring all your memories with resentment might only serve to make your future bitter.”
Nora stood, her irritation flaring. “Well, if Firecamp doesn’t work out for you, maybe you can go to work writing fortune cookies.”
“Ouch.”
Ignoring Fallon’s comment, Nora fired up her saw. They worked until lunch when Kennedy came by, making her mood worse.
“Hey, you two. I think someone else got my sandwich. Would you mind checking?”
“Sure.” Fallon went to their lunch bag, examining one of the meals. “Yep. Veggie special right here. Sorry, dude. I didn’t even think to look.”
“No worries. Just wanted to catch it before I had to go over to camp and get another one.” Kenn handed over the sandwich she’d brought. “Here’s yours.” She cut her eyes at Nora. “Or whoever’s.”
Fallon looked at Nora. “I think we’re about ready for lunch, aren’t we?” When she didn’t respond, Fallon checked the other sandwich before turning back to Kennedy. “These both look fine. Why don’t you sit and eat with us before you head back? There’s a log over there with your name on it.”
“Thanks. I am really hungry.” Kenn sat, and Fallon handed her a water bottle.
Nora tried to hide her annoyance. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Kennedy.
Not exactly. She was attractive, with a pleasant face, her close-cropped hair and slight swagger giving off a small butch vibe.
But Nora didn’t appreciate the way Kennedy always seemed to be looking for ways to be around Fallon.
And if she was honest, she didn’t like the way Fallon seemed to enjoy Kennedy’s company.
“I’m going to visit a friendly tree,” she said, using their code for peeing in the forest. “I’ll be right back.” Fallon waved, her mouth full. Kennedy ignored her.
Relieving herself alone in the quiet of the forest, she recognized the need for an attitude adjustment.
Again. It shouldn’t matter to her what Fallon did or didn’t do.
It was true that events had conspired to derail her plan of going it alone at Firecamp.
Initially, hanging out with Gwen and Tina had served to keep her less connected to the rest of the crew, but since they’d been camping, she’d let herself be drawn into more group interactions.
And Fallon’s kindness after the incident with her tent might have been why she was feeling unusually possessive. That needed to stop.
Having cleared her thoughts, she returned to the area where they’d been cutting, almost stumbling at the sight of Fallon and Kennedy sitting close on the same log, facing each other and holding hands. Her suspicion must have shown on her face because Kenn stood and stretched.
“Guess I’d better get back to work.” She looked at Fallon. “Thanks. For everything.”