19. Tessa
19
Tessa
I t’s been a couple weeks and Beau still hasn’t made a move. What the hell is he waiting for? I’ve given him every signal I can think of and still nothing. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard to get him into bed. I might as well wrap myself in ribbon and stick a bow on my head because I can’t be any more obvious.
“Umm, hello? I thought you were bringing my drink back?” Peyton walks up beside me where I’m standing at the bar. She must see the look on my face because she says, “Oh no, what are you thinking?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“So it’s about Beau. Shocker,” she says matter-of-factly.
Her head turns and she finds him in the crowd. We watch together while he talks to some of his friends. Peyton and I came out tonight to hang out with each other since I’ve been spending more and more time with Beau, but he showed up about fifteen minutes ago with a few of the guys in tow.
We weren't hard to find. There’s really only one place to go if you want a few drinks in Pelahatchie. The Cellar is packed tonight. String lights high above us are attached to the brick buildings on either side of the outdoor bar. A warm glow shines down on the heads of all the people mingling and drinking, making the space bright and happy. Other than saying hey when they got here, Beau and his friends haven’t bothered us, but I can’t help looking his way every few minutes. My gaze is drawn to him wherever he goes and the light blue of his shirt perfectly matches the eyes that catch mine.
“He hasn’t made a move,” I tell Peyton sullenly.
She takes her beer from the bartender and turns back around with a twist of her lips. “This would be so much easier if he weren’t my brother.”
“Well, he still hasn’t made a move. What’s the holdup?”
She sighs. “Maybe he’s scared.”
“Scared? He wasn’t scared before we started…”
“Dating,” she interrupts. “That is what you’re doing, you know?”
“I know, the label just freaks me out.”
“Call it what you want, Tess, but it’s dating all the same.” Great, she’s started shortening my name now too . It makes me wonder absently if they’ve been talking about me behind my back like we’ve been doing about Beau.
“So then why doesn’t he want to have sex?” I ask.
Peyton chokes on the sip she’s just taken and looks at the sky, gathering strength for this conversation.
“He’s probably freaked out you’re a virgin.”
“But why? I mean, the man knows what to do. It’s not like he’s the virgin.” When she makes a face, I ask, “What? What was that for?”
“Have y'all really not talked about this?”
“Every time we’ve gotten close, he finds some way to deny me. I feel like I’m doing something wrong.”
“I don’t think he’s the man-whore you think he is.”
“What do you mean?”
She blows out a long breath. “Look, if you tell him I told you, I’ll kill you…but he’s only been with two or three other girls.”
“What?” Disbelief is plain in my tone.
She takes my arm, pulling me further down the long bar. “Shhhh! Do you want him to hear us?”
“I’m just surprised is all.”
“Obviously, but that’s probably why he’s taking it slow. You know how long he’s wanted you. I’m sure he doesn’t want to mess this up by moving too fast.”
It occurs to me that she sounds like someone who knows a little too much about this subject. “Wait a minute, you have been talking to him about me?”
She shrugs, playing it cool as ever. “You’re not the only one who can keep secrets.”
We move to one of the long picnic-style tables in front of the stage to watch the band. The music is loud and we have to shout to talk to each other. People have gossiped since they found out about Beau and me. I hear them, but it’s getting easier to ignore. Since going to the furniture store, we haven’t strayed very far from each other. He shows up at the store when I’m closing or we get coffee together, strolling downtown where anyone could see. I’ve found him at work a few times and know people notice when we drive around. I have to choose not to care that we’re looked at, that old ladies twitter about what a cute couple we make, but it’s been freeing to change my mind about him. I’m feeling less and less like a hypocrite the more we’re together.
I want to be near him, I realized a couple weeks ago. Every time someone’s laughed around him tonight, I find myself turning toward the sound because I want to hear the joke he made. I know Peyton notices, but she hasn’t made me feel bad about it. She’s listened every time I’ve talked about Beau and encouraged me to try and forget the way I used to feel about him. To start fresh. And even though I have to remind myself when we’re looked at too closely, I think I can do it. There’s a real chance I could be his .
After a while, Beau and his friends come over to our table and sit. Nathan and Connor take places on either side of Peyton, but I’m lifted into Beau’s lap.
At my smirk, he says, “What? There were no other tables. We’re saving room.”
I settle back against him with a smile and let his hands hold me in place. The band plays and we all talk over each other, laughing as Nathan teases Peyton and she punches his arm. The night goes on and I’m content for the first time in a long time. With them sitting beside me, it’s easier to avoid the fact that I have no future yet to speak of. There’s no weight sitting on my shoulders because we don’t talk about what happens tomorrow. We just exist in this place, on this night, where beer flows freely and the smiles on their faces are enough. I could be happy and content if every night was like this one.
When my glass is empty, I ask if anyone wants another round, but Beau tightens his hold. “Nope. Let someone else get it, I’m comfortable.”
“Don’t be rude,” I huff.
“Go ahead, Tessa,” Connor says. “I’d love to see you try to get up with him on your back.”
We all chuckle but Beau shakes his head. “Uh uh, I’m not letting go.”
“Fine, I’ll do it,” Peyton mutters, rising from the table.
When the boys give her their order and she walks away, I turn to him. “You’re causing a scene.”
“I don’t care if people talk. I like holding you.”
“They’re going to ask what changed. When you suddenly became so whipped.”
“Tell ‘em the truth.”
“What? That you kissed me at the pond and now you won’t leave me alone?”
“I was going to say it all started when you realized you wanted my dick, but sure, you could say that too.” He waggles his eyebrows and a laugh bursts from me.
“Shep was right,” I said, shaking my head.
“About you wanting my…”
“No!” I interrupt him with a hand over his mouth. “Don’t say it again.”
We’re being quiet, but he leans in to whisper in my ear. “Please God, say the word, Tess. Say it and it’s yours.”
A shiver runs down my spine at his words and I can feel a living spark between us. I look into his eyes, trying to be bolder than I feel, and almost say it, but I’m suddenly scared. I lean back to get some much-needed air.
“I was going to say that Shep was right. You never know what’s going to come out of your mouth.” I give him a quick kiss and Peyton comes back with the drinks.
“I don’t know why I encourage this,” she waves between us. “You two are gross.”
I know she couldn’t hear us when Connor and Nathan didn’t, but the look she shoots me tells me she’s very aware of what we were talking about. Despite her teasing, she doesn’t look disgusted, only hopeful. I smile shyly at her and she smiles back, shaking her blonde head.
After the bar, Beau takes me back to his house. Neither of us are ready for the night to be over and I decided at the table if he won’t make the first move, then maybe I will.
“I’m hungry, I’m gonna get a snack. You want anything?” I ask him, walking towards his kitchen.
“Nah, I’m good.”
Beau turns on the TV and flops down on the couch as I walk away. When I come back a few minutes later with a can of whipped cream, I stand behind the couch and hold it out to him. His mouth opens and he leans his head against the back of the couch to let me spray the whipped cream. His eyes shift to me, looking at me from upside down. It’s then he notices that I’m completely naked.
Beau’s mouth is still open and I laugh. “Swallow,” I tell him and even I can tell that my voice is different. Sultry. Filled with sensual promise.
He obeys and I swipe a finger along his bottom lip, catching the tiniest bit of cream and sucking my finger into my mouth. He watches and when it’s clean, I round the couch, feeling like fire is blazing across every place his eyes touch. He may not have known this was happening tonight, but I’ve had time to get ready.
My long hair is down and the layers swish across my back as I climb in his lap. I’ve kept my promise, not to do anything reckless without him, but I’ve been swimming naked for the last week or so just in case this happened. There isn’t a single tan line in sight. His eyes lock on to the waxed strip between my legs. Except for that small patch, everything else is smooth, bare skin. I’m not giving him a chance to say no.
“It’s now or never, Beau.”
As if his hands can’t resist the temptation, they slide from the flare of my hips, past my waist and up my ribs. He makes a meal out of just that slide alone. The blue eyes I love so much are cloudy with desire. I could lose myself if I’m not careful, but I don’t want to be careful. I want him to ruin me.
“Now.” He takes one of my nipples into his mouth and I moan, loving the drag of his tongue. “You’re beautiful, Firecracker.” He switches sides to lathe the other nipple. “You want this, you’re sure?” There’s the slightest hesitation on his face, but I can’t tell if it’s for his sake or mine.
I nod. “You promised me you’d fuck me in that beautiful bed in there.” My breasts sway in front of him as I lean into his chest and point back to his bedroom. “Get to it.”
“Yes ma’am.” He stands with me wrapped around his waist, a big hand gripping each of my ass cheeks. And all I can think is…
Now.
Now.
Now.