Chapter 3
3
T he muscles in Raphael’s jaw work as he struggles to maintain his composure, that infuriatingly attractive stubble highlighting the sharp angles of his face.
My skin prickles with awareness as he rises and stalks around the table toward me, and in no way do I admire the way his broad shoulders fill out the tailored lines of his suit. The spicy musk of his pheromones invades my senses, transporting me back to stolen moments in darkened hallways, heated kisses that left me aching for more.
He stops next to my chair. “May we speak in private?”
Beside me, Cassian stiffens, a low growl rumbling in his chest. “Anything you have to say to Avery, you can say here.”
“Don’t speak for me, Cassian,” I correct sharply. “I can handle my own affairs.”
He stiffens but bows his head. “Yes, boss.”
Raphael’s eyes skims past my second with a flicker of disdain, then fixes on me, the history between us crackling in the air like electricity.
My heart pounds as I weigh my options. Every instinct screams at me to refuse, to hold on to the tattered remnants of my pride. Anger pulses through me, but buried beneath it is a traitorous craving to be alone with my Alpha, to feel the heat of his touch one more time.
“Fine. I’ll listen to what you have to say.” I rise from my seat and straighten my jacket, though I leave it unbuttoned for faster access to my weapons. “But don’t think it will get you out of your very public groveling. That is non-negotiable.”
Raphael’s expression twists with triumph, stirring in me an urge to both kiss him and slam him into the nearest wall. He gestures toward a side door, an unspoken challenge in the set of his shoulders for me to walk ahead of him.
I brush past Cassian, ignoring the disapproval radiating off him in waves.
Spine straight, I stride out of the banquet hall, the click of the door shutting behind us as final as the sound of a firing gun.
“Let’s go to the library,” Raphael says from behind me, his deep rumble curling down my spine and filling me with warmth. “You remember the way, right?”
“Of course.” I stride down the hall and through the open doors to the library.
Just like the rest of the manor, it remains unchanged. The only difference comes in a throw blanket tossed over the back of the settee, like someone in the Rockford family spends time here now.
The doors shut behind me, and I turn to find Raphael leaning against them, hunger radiating from every inch of him. The way he takes me in, like a starving man faced with a feast, sends a shiver through me.
I cross my arms, determined to maintain some semblance of control. “So? What did you want that couldn’t have been said in the other room?”
“You know what I want.” He pushes off the doors, closing the distance between us with a predatory grace that sends my pulse racing. “It’s always been you.”
“And here I thought you wanted respectability.” My lip curls with disgust. “How is life behind the desk treating you? Finally putting the law degree you detested so much to good use, huh?”
When Raphael went through law school to keep up family appearances, it almost drove him insane, but he needed it to set up his fake law practice for his family to funnel money through. He’d been all too eager to abandon the business to let other people run it.
For someone like Raphael, sitting behind a desk was torture. But that’s all he does now.
I run my fingers across the desk near the window. “How is it, living a lie?”
“Nothing about what I do is a lie.” His shoulders stiffen. “You’d understand that if you came back to me, where you belong.”
“I’m already where I belong. You’re the one who misplaced yourself when you threw me away. Threw us away.” I let out a harsh laugh, the sound grating in my throat. “If that’s all you had to say, we can return to the banquet hall.”
When I move to stride past him, he catches my arm, pulling me to stand back in front of him. Despite the barrier of my suit jacket, the heat radiating from his skin ignites an old, smoldering desire. “I made a mistake.”
A thrill goes through me at the admission, followed by anger for the hope it sparks. If he thought he’d made a mistake, he would have come back.
Desperate longing fills me that I’ve tried hard to bury, and I jerk away. “Don’t touch me.”
“You don’t mean that.” Raphael’s scent thickens with the unmistakable musk of arousal as he fists my lapel to bring me closer. “Don’t forget, I can smell your arousal.”
Heat pools in my hips, and I curse the instinctive response to give in to my Alpha. “My body doesn’t get a say.” I shove at his chest. “You lost the right to touch me when you walked away.”
Raphael’s grip tightens, the desire in his expression stealing my breath. “I was a fool. I thought…”
“What?” I grip his wrist, squeezing hard, but he refuses to let go. “Did you think, if you stood your ground, I’d come crawling after you?”
The silent confirmation written all over him cuts me to the bone.
“And now?” Rage ripples through me even as his pheromones fill my lungs, stoking a heat I hate myself for feeling. “Do you think that saying you still want me will… What? Make me forgive you? Make me give up everything I built without you?”
Raphael’s free hand cups my jaw, his thumb stroking my bottom lip. “I don’t expect forgiveness. But I want you back, and I’m tired of waiting.”
Anger and hurt bubble up inside me, spilling over. “Then you should never have left! You abandoned me when I needed you most!”
He flinches as if I slapped him. “You told me to leave, remember? You said you never wanted to see me again.”
“What else was I supposed to say?” I demand, fury burning through me. “You changed the rules without consulting me first! How was I supposed to explain to our people, to our family, that you decided they weren’t good enough anymore? You bonded me and then didn’t even have the decency to stick around!”
Angry tears blur my vision, and I shove against Raphael, needing to escape the pheromones trying to calm me, telling me to submit.
That’s the last thing I will ever do for Raphael Rockford. My hold on him shifts, and I dig my thumb in between the bones of his wrist until he releases me.
“We’re done with this conversation.” I shove past him. “We should go back before Cassian comes searching for me.”
With a growl, Raphael catches me again and pushes me toward the bookcase, his large body blocking my escape. “What is that Alpha to you?”
I catch myself on the shelves and glare at him. If anyone else had done that, they’d be dead already. “That’s none of your business. My personal life is off-limits. You lost the right to ask about it when you walked out on me.”
His jaw tightens, a muscle twitching beneath his skin. “I have a right to know who my Omega is taking to bed. If you’ve let another Alpha touch you?—”
His possessiveness sends a zig of elation through me, and I let out a brittle laugh. “You have no rights here. Not anymore.”
The air crackles with tension, and Raphael’s scent grows stronger, flooding my senses and sending my pulse racing faster, my body reacting to being near him again after so long apart.
I lick my bottom lip with hunger. “Who I choose to share my body with is my decision, and mine alone.”
“Like hell it is!” He lunges forward, his hands slamming against the shelves on either side of my head, caging me in. “I can’t stand the thought of anyone else touching you. You’re mine, always have been, always will be.”
My breath hitches, my heart pounding as I stare up at him. He watches me with a raw possessiveness that sets my nerves ablaze, sparking heat in places I convinced myself had gone numb.
“I’m not yours.” The words shake as they leave my mouth. “You made sure of that when you left me.”
A dangerous mix of anger and desire flashes across Raphael’s face as his body presses closer to trap me between him and the shelf. “I never wanted to leave you, but my family needed me.”
His words fan the flames of my anger, and I shove at his chest, my hands trembling. “ I was your family! You changed everything! You broke us!”
He grabs my wrists, pinning them above my head with one hand, his grip unbreakable. I struggle in his grasp even as my body arches toward his, seeking the heat of his touch, still desiring him despite everything.
“You’re right, I did.” His lips ghost along my jaw, feeding the fire boiling in my blood. “But the way I love you? That will never change, baby. You’re a part of me, and I won’t let you go again.”
His words ignite a primal instinct within me, and as his mouth claims mine in a bruising kiss, I can’t hold back the need I’ve denied for so long.
Raphael’s knee shoves between my legs, and he rubs my hardening length, pulling a moan from me. In retaliation, I bite his tongue, blood filling my mouth. He jerks back, and I grin up at him, licking the coppery tang from my lips.
With a growl, he grips my chin, and when he kisses me again, I make him work for it, make him prove how much he desires me. He squeezes my jaw until my mouth opens, and his tongue thrusts in deep, claiming parts of me no one has touched in years.
Desire hooks its claws deep, my lips moving with his in desperation, moaning as he fucks my mouth. It’s been so long since I’ve tasted him, so long since I’ve felt this heat. I grind against the thigh shoved between mine, desire pooling low in my hips.
With an approving growl, he releases his hold on my face and reaches for my belt, undoing it with impatient jerks.
With a pop of the top button, my pants loosen, then fall to my ankles, dragged down by the weight of my weapons. My dick hugs my stomach, so hard that cum leaks from my tip. His hand shoves between my legs only long enough to confirm I’m already wet for him.
Then the sound of his zipper lowering punctuates our gasping breaths, and my knees tremble, slick leaking down my thighs, my body readying for my Alpha as his cock comes free. Hand rough, he grabs me behind one knee, yanking my leg free and hiking it over his elbow.
I grab hold of the shelf above my head for balance, my breaths coming out in fast gasps. In one smooth move, he lines himself up and thrusts home, his cock spearing into my body.
I hiss at the sudden invasion, his cock far larger than the toys I use when the loneliness becomes too much. My channel burns where he stretches me open, my inner muscles pulsing around his solid length as my body struggles to remember his shape.
His mouth leaves mine with a groan, and his hips undulate, pulling a whimper of pleasure from me.
“Fuck, you’re so tight.” His teeth scrape down the column of my throat. “Still mine.”
My head falls back to give him better access. “Not yours.”
He releases my hands to grab my other leg and hoist me higher, sinking deeper inside me. “Feels so good, baby. Missed your heat.”
“I’ll kill you.” My ankles hook around his waist, my hips rocking, needing the friction of him moving inside me. “You’re fucking dead.”
“You don’t mean that.” He kisses and sucks on my neck, meeting the movement of my body with hard thrusts that knock books off the shelves around us.
I moan and release the shelf to dig my nails into his shoulders, wishing he was naked so I could leave my marks on his skin. Nothing has ever felt as right as Raphael’s body joined with mine. We were always so good together until he ruined us.
My vision blurs, and I press my skull to the shelves, focusing on the pleasure rolling through my body to force back the tears. No man has ever made me lose my head the way he can, and no man ever will again.
Gasps leave my lips as my muscles tighten, my heels digging into his back.
“That’s it, baby,” he groans. “Come apart for me.”
And damn him, I do, my body quaking as I find my release. A moment later, he drives in deep, and his cock pulses, hot cum flooding my channel.
Only our ragged gasps fill the air as he keeps me pinned to the bookshelf, each exhale burning against my throat. And in that moment, I realize that despite everything he’s done, despite the pain he’s caused me, I still love him.
I never stopped, and I never will.
Our breathing slows, his cock sliding free of my body, and he lowers my feet to the ground.
He leans against the bookcase, still recovering as I gather my pants and pull them back on. Cum splatters the bottom of my shirt, but I ignore it as I tuck it into my waist band and smoothe out the wrinkles. By touch, I fix my collar and check that my weapons are still in place.
Then, I sweep back my ash-blond hair and face Raphael. “This changed nothing.”
Wary now, he straightens to face me. “Avery?—”
My fist connects with his jaw, and he reels, hitting the bookcase. “Put your cock away and clean this mess up before Mrs. Bustley sees it, then join me back in the banquet hall.”
Turning on my heel, I march out of the library, ignoring the way his cum trickles down my thigh.
At the doors to the banquet hall, I pause to check my appearance again before stepping inside.
The room falls silent, all focus on me as the tension spikes. Cassian’s features tighten, his posture stiffening as he assesses me. I meet his stare with a silent command for him to stand down.
I resume my seat and fix the amount they’ll pay me while we wait for Raphael to join us.
When he slinks in a minute later, a red lump shines brightly on his jaw, giving me a small sense of satisfaction.
“Kneel.” I point at the floor next to my feet.
Raphael’s shoulders tense, defiance tightening his frame. For a moment, I think he’ll refuse, that he’ll cling to his pride because Jade’s not really family, he’s not blood , and Raphael has already proven blood is all that matters.
But then, slowly, he sinks to his knees before me, his head bowed in submission. A ripple goes through the other Alphas in the room, but the Rockfords remain silent.
I lean forward, my hand reaching out to tilt his chin up, forcing him to look at me. “Beg.”
He swallows hard, a growl rumbling in his throat. “Please, Avery, we can’t do this without you.”
“You need me,” I say, relishing the words.
“Yes,” he grits out. “We— I need you.”
“And you were wrong,” I prod.
“Yes,” he seethes. “I was wrong.”
“Good boy.” I give him a light slap right over the lump left by my earlier punch and sit back in my chair. “Now, go sit next to your brother like a good dog.”
His muscles clench, his hand rising toward me, and my blade presses to his throat before he can complete the move.
“Do. Not. Test. Me. Again. ” I press the tip of my blade hard enough to draw blood. “Or I will take action to free myself of your Mark, you pathetic, backstabbing excuse for an Alpha. Do you understand?”
Seething, he leans back and stands, returning to his chair next to Aaiden.
I initial the revision in the contract and slide it back across the table to Aaiden, who doesn’t spare a glance at his brother as he signs and initials, then returns the document to me.
With a flourish, I sign my name and stand. “Pleasure doing business with you. Once the first half is in my bank account, we’ll meet with your team and work out a strategy of attack. I expect the second half in cash upon completion of the job.”
Without acknowledging Raphael again, I turn and stride from the room, Cassian a shadow at my back.
Only after the front door closes behind us does Cassian break the silence. “I can smell him on you.”
I keep my focus on our car, still waiting at the bottom of the stairs. “No one asked.”
“Say the word,” Cassian growls, “and I’ll make sure he never bothers you again.”
I stiffen at the offer. “No. Raphael is mine to deal with.”
Cassian’s jaw clenches as he glances back toward the manor, then steps ahead and opens the car door for me. “The plan is still to kill him, though, right?”
“Oh, yes.” I drop into the passenger seat, ignoring the ache of protest from my hips. “That part of the plan hasn’t changed.”