Chapter 18
Ophelia
“Without Me-Halsey”
Dinner with Brayden feels like punishment wrapped in candlelight. Everything about the restaurant screams wealth. Yes, I have more money than most, but that’s not who I am. I’d rather be eating gas station food sitting in front of the TV watching trash reality shows than this.
Tiny portions of overpriced food served by waiters who look terrified to spill water on anyone important. Brayden talks across from me while sipping expensive wine, but his words blur together into meaningless noise.
Business. School. Future plans.
His father. My father. Our future.
The thought alone makes me nauseous.
“You’re quiet tonight,” he says, and I force a smile.
“Just tired. It’s been a long week,” I say, and he narrows his eyes like he doesn’t believe me.
Smart.
Still, he reaches across the table, taking my hand anyway. I almost laugh because his other arm is still in a cast.
“I know things have been rough lately,” he says, stroking his ring on my finger, and I almost roll my eyes.
If only you knew.
“I just…” He sighs softly. “I want us to be good again, Effie.”
My chest tightens painfully, because he isn’t always cruel, and that’s a problem. Sometimes he looks at me like he genuinely loves me. Like I’m something precious instead of something he owns. And in those moments, guilt creeps in hard enough to hurt.
Because no matter what he does… he’ll never be Hayden.
And that isn’t fair to either of us.
“Yes. Everything is falling apart, and I want to feel okay again. I just need some time. I know that is asking a lot from you after the way I’ve been behaving lately, but I promise things will get better,” I lie.
I can’t tell him the truth.
That I’m only here because I have no other options. That I’m here to protect my own ass from being shipped off to Brimstone House.
This shit between us… is not fucking real. It’s transactional. It’s the only way.
My heart can never belong to him.
It can’t.
The rest of the evening I play nice. I smile and speak when spoken to. I engage in the conversation. I fucking play perfect girlfriend.
After we leave the restaurant, Brayden drives through Brimstone with one hand resting casually on my thigh while the other sits against the bottom of the steering wheel the best it can since it’s in a cast.
“I wanna show you something,” he says softly. “Somewhere I’ve never taken another girl before.”
A strange feeling curls in my stomach instantly.
“Where?” I ask, and he grins.
“You’ll see.”
Twenty minutes later, my entire body goes cold.
No. No, no.
The Mercedes rolls to a stop near the woods outside Brimstone overlooking the clearing.
Our clearing.
Mine and Hayden’s.
My pulse spikes while panic claws up my throat.
“Brayden…”
“What?” He smiles climbing out. “It’s beautiful out here,” he says while I stay still, trying to breathe because those trees know me.
That clearing holds pieces of Hayden and me buried beneath every memory carved into the dirt. And worst of all… the tree is still there.
The one with our initials carved into the bark inside a crooked heart.
H+O Forever.
The carving practically screams at me through the darkness while shame burns beneath my skin.
I should leave. I should tell Brayden no.
Instead, I follow him numbly because I’m exhausted. Too exhausted to keep fighting every second of my life.
He sits on the hood of his Mercedes beneath the stars, patting the spot beside him.
I climb up slowly.
The night air feels cold here somehow.
Haunted.
“This place…” Brayden looks around. “Feels peaceful,” he says.
It used to be. Back before the world ruined us.
His shoulder brushes mine gently. “I know I haven’t been the best to you,” he says, and I freeze. “But I’m trying. You have to know that.”
Guilt twists hard in my stomach because he sounds so sincere, and maybe he means it. “I love you, Ophelia,” he says, cupping my cheek.
The words hit me like stones sinking underwater. I stare at him, unable to answer immediately.
Because another boy once whispered those same words beneath the same stars. And I loved him so fiercely it nearly killed me.
Still do and always will.
He carefully pulls me closer to him, and my heart jumps in my chest. “I know you don’t trust me completely yet,” he whispers, “But I’ll spend the rest of my life proving myself if that’s what it takes,” he says, then kisses my lips gently.
Tears sting unexpectedly behind my eyes.
Because I want to feel something for him.
I need to.
Hayden is Chaos, pain, and violence. There is no future there. Only heartbreak, fire, and destruction.
So maybe if I try hard enough… maybe I can learn to love Brayden instead.
So, I lean forward and kiss him back. His hands slide against my waist while mine grip the front of his expensive jacket.
It deepens quickly. Hotter. Heavier.
Brayden kisses me like he’s trying to claim something he’s wanted forever.
But even with his mouth on mine… something feels wrong.
Empty.
Because kissing Brayden feels like pretending.
And kissing Hayden always felt like drowning willingly.
Brayden moans into the kiss as his tongue swirls around mine. I suck his bottom lip into my mouth and his grip on my waist tightens then slides over my rib cage, but I pull back, and he smiles, resting his forehead against mine.
“You have no idea what you do to me,” he murmurs, and I force myself to smile.
Because maybe this is what survival looks like.
Pretending until it becomes real.
We sit here under the stars for a little longer, laughing about the dumb shit that happened at school today. I guess I missed a lot while I was suspended. Then he takes me home and walks me to the front door kissing me softly goodnight.
“I love you,” he whispers. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” He smirks while his words make my chest ache. Not because I feel them back because I don’t.
That’s the tragedy of it.
By the time I reach my bedroom, exhaustion weighs so heavily on me I can barely think. I kick off my shoes and reach for my phone.
One missed text.
Unknown number.
My stomach drops instantly.
Then I open it and my entire heart shatters.
A picture of the stars.
The exact stars from the clearing tonight.
No words. No explanation. Just proof.
Hayden was there and he saw us.
A broken sound leaves my throat while tears instantly blur my vision.
God. He saw us.
He saw me there with another man in our spot.
Fuck!
Pain crushes through me as I sit down hard on the edge of my bed clutching my phone tightly.
I don’t even know what hurts more. The fact that he saw or the fact that some pathetic part of me wishes he would’ve stopped it.
That he would've dragged Brayden away from me and reminded me exactly who I belong to.
Hayden’s text burns behind my eyes long after the screen goes dark.
A picture of our stars. Our spot. Proof he was there watching while I tried to force myself to move on from him.
But you can’t move on from someone who lives inside your bones.
You just learn how to bleed quieter.
Sighing shakily, I strip out of my clothes and take a quick shower.
Standing under the hot spray, I cry. I just let it all out until there’s nothing left.
Then I towel off and climb under the covers. Sleep takes me fast, heavy and merciless, pulling me under before I can think too hard about Hayden.
Morning comes cruelly.
Gray sunlight spills through my curtains while exhaustion clings to me like another layer of skin.
I barely remember getting dressed. Barely remember driving to school.
Everything feels muted and wrong, like my entire world tilted slightly off its axis the second Hayden came back from the dead. Every laugh is too sharp. Every whisper feels aimed directly at me. I barely make it to my locker before I feel him. Hayden.
The air changes around him somehow.
One second, I’m alone.
The next, he’s here caging me against the lockers with tattooed arms braced on either side of my head while his body heat wraps around me making me gasp.
He smells like smoke, leather, and trouble with a hint of floral underneath it.
Perfume. Another girl’s perfume.
The realization slices straight through me and he notices instantly. His green eyes darken while his mouth twists cruelly.
“What’s wrong, Ophelia?” he murmurs slowly. “Thought you liked pretending with other people now.”
Pain flashes through me.
“You followed me,” I accuse, and he scoffs.
“You brought that motherfucker to our spot.”
The quiet fury in his voice nearly cracks me open.
“I didn’t know where he was taking me,” I say, and he laughs harshly.
“Sure.”
My anger rears its ugly head.
Not only is he calling me a fucking liar to my face but he called me Ophelia.
What in the actual fuck?
“Why do you even care? You had girls all over you at the warehouse. You asshole!” I spit, and his jaw flexes.
God, what I would give to run my tongue along his skin and sink my teeth into him.
He suddenly leans closer inhaling softly near my neck, making me shiver, then pulls back with visible disgust. “You smell like him,” he growls with so much hatred in his voice it literally guts me.
“So do you,” I snap back. “You smell like a fucking fish market. I wonder how many fucking STDs you’ve caught in such a short amount of time.” I laugh, but something dangerous flashes through his expression.
Hurt buried beneath cruelty.
Good.
Maybe I’m not the only one bleeding.
For one horrible second, neither of us moves.
Too close.
Too angry.
Too in love to survive it properly.
Then heels click down the hallway behind him.
“Ghostttt.”
Tracy. The brunette from the bathroom fight.
Fucking fantastic.
She walks right up beside him with a smug little smile aimed directly at me.
And Hayden… he grabs her.
Just like that.
One arm wraps around her waist, pulling her flush against him while his eyes stay locked on mine the entire time.
It's deliberate. Cruel. Personal.
Tracy’s smirk widens immediately. “You coming?” she asks, but Hayden never looks away from me.
“Yeah.” His voice turns cold. “I'm coming.”
Then he leaves with her hanging all over him while I stand frozen beside my locker feeling like somebody just ripped my heart straight out of my chest in the middle of the hallway.
And the worst part?
I know this isn’t over.
Not even close.