Chapter 12 #2
“Would you please drop the goddamn death jokes? Like, my god, enough already. I’m not ready for them.
I’m not even sure you are.” Ceri had the grace to look chagrined at Deryn’s outburst, but she did not interrupt, so Deryn went on.
“And I have a career, you know.” Deryn pointed with her chin to the bowls and the cutting board that were waiting for her when she was ready to assemble the sandwiches.
“I know.” Her sister’s voice was flat. “And Paloma is planting roots here on Dragons. Her Astronomy Resort is a fascinating place, the talk of the East Coast. And the entire running for mayor campaign? Initially, I thought she’d make a quick buck and hit the road.
After all, her entire business is in New York.
But, I have to say, she surprised me. The campaign screams permanence, settling down.
And she’s reaching that age when settling down is something one thinks about more and more. ”
“She’s your age, Ceri.”
“Yes, therefore I know a thing or two about this particular time in one’s life. And I do wonder what brought her to Dragons, of all places. Martha’s Vineyard is right there. That seems more up her alley…”
Deryn turned away, hoping the gesture looked natural, like she wasn’t hiding her eyes from her sister. Like she wasn’t hiding the fact that she knew exactly how and why Paloma ended up on Dragons. Ceridwen and Paloma herself might not have an answer, but Deryn knew.
The oven pinged, and Deryn jumped. Then she exhaled and took the baked sandwich base out, laying it carefully on the cutting board. Ceridwen handed her the jar of strawberry jam.
“I don’t know what to say to that, Ceri.”
Ceridwen set her mug down. Deryn spread the jam over the dough. She folded the now rested egg whites into the coconut mix and layered it on top of the jam.
“I don’t want you to say anything, Der. I want you to think.”
Deryn opened the oven door and plopped the sheet of sandwiches in, setting the timer for thirty minutes.
“I have done nothing but think since I arrived, Ceri. I’m getting a headache from all the thinking.
” She wiped her hands on the dish towel and then hung it carefully on the oven door.
Never before was she as glad that she cleaned as she went, because the kitchen was spotless behind her as she exited.
“Make sure you cut the bake into as large or as small size bars as you like them as soon as they’re ready. They’re easier to maneuver when hot from the oven. I’m off to clear my head from all the thoughts.”
Ceridwen was still standing in the middle of the kitchen when Deryn shut the front door behind herself.
Her feet took her to the beach. Somehow, she always ended up by the water.
The ocean had always soothed her. Even as a troubled, difficult child, she’d calm down watching the waves chase each other, destined to always fail in their pursuit.
It made her feel better about her own failures, her own pursuits.
Seren was an A-grade student. Rhiannon was dating everything that moved while somehow also maintaining high grades and ending up valedictorian.
Deryn? Bottom of the barrel. Always in trouble.
Always being called to the principal’s office.
And the comparisons to her sisters were usually just the stones that weighed her down and made her sink deeper.
Deryn made a snowball and threw it into the incoming wave.
Her hands were cold, but she didn’t mind the sensation.
Regulating her warmth was the first thing her mother taught her: how to know exactly how much she needed and how to do it subtly, almost wordlessly, unseen and unperceived by the world.
Strange how Deryn sometimes wished she’d be unperceived by the world as well.
“Why can’t everyone just leave me alone?”
The words left her mouth as a cloud of vapor, dissipating in the cold, wintry air.
“You chose a fucking weird profession for that then, Der.”
And sometimes, Deryn wished she would remain unperceived by her own twin. Who knew better than to sneak up on her.
“Rude.”
Seren was wearing a hoodie two sizes too big, clearly hastily thrown on, its ratty edges hanging crookedly over her hips.
“Nah, just nosy.”
Deryn shook her head.
“No, you’re not. You’re under some kind of misguided impression that you are responsible for me. And so you ran out of wherever it was you were, Fire Chief Crowhart, to do what, exactly?”
“To save your ass in case you jumped into the water.”
Damn.
Trust fucking Seren to slap her in the face with the truth. Deryn turned away and started walking in the direction of the pier. Seren fell in step next to her.
“Also, Ceridwen might’ve said you went for a walk. So, this was a natural assumption.”
“Why is everyone in my private business?” Deryn threw her sister a sideways glare.
“You don’t have any business that is private.” Seren pulled out her vape pen and took a drag. Deryn made a face.
“I am quitting cigarettes, you asshat. This is helping.” Seren took another, much deeper drag as if to spite Deryn. “And yes, tell me exactly which business of yours is private? You’re all over the Caw. Front-page news. But then, you never left that front page when you lived on the island either.”
This was an old conversation, often rehashed, no matter how many times they tried to resolve it. Seren resentful, Deryn angry. At the end of the day, each remained exactly where they stood. One still resentful, and the other still just as angry.
They walked in silence for another ten minutes until they reached the Ferry Pier. In the dusk, it looked eerie, all shadows and secrets. It was empty, the fishermen having packed their wares and the last ferry having left long ago.
“You know I don’t want to be all over the Caw, Ren. Just because I’m on TV shouldn’t make me a readily available target for gossip.”
Seren sighed and took out an actual, honest-to-Goddess pack of cigarettes. She wordlessly handed one to Deryn, then looked at her expectantly. Deryn blinked, tilted her head, then laughed.
“You’re ridiculous, you know that? The fire chief doesn’t carry a lighter?”
She extended her fingertips and touched the tips of both cigarettes. Seren took a long drag and walked all the way to the very edge of the pier, the toes of her boots sticking past the old wooden boards. Deryn eyed her warily but followed along.
“I don’t carry a lighter ’cause I’ll want to use it.” When Deryn opened her mouth to interrupt, pointing at the pocket that held the pack, Seren made a face. “Whatever. It’s necessary on occasion.”
“This is your occasion?”
Deryn finally took a drag herself, the smoke burning her tongue, but she let it, refusing to cough in front of her sister.
“I’ve been wanting to smoke since the Atelier fire. Since you returned to the island. Since the whole thing with Rhiannon.”
“Damn, Ren, you’ve been hankering for nicotine that long?”
“Shut up.” Seren gave her the finger, but there was no malice in her tone. “Nothing is resolved, you know. Not a single thing. Who the fuck burned Rhiannon’s place? Who the fuck broke into Ceri’s shop?”
Deryn lowered the cigarette and stared.
“You think these two incidents are connected?”
Seren gave her the most theatrical side-eye possible. Deryn smiled.
“You always thought I was a dumbass, so spell it out for me. Since you’re so very smart and plugged into everything.”
Seren stopped and kicked a pebble before lowering her voice.
“Things started going haywire when Rhy arrived. All the little accidents, seemingly happenstance, here and there. Pictures of her dead ex. Dead crows began showing up out of nowhere. Not innocent, because for fuck’s sake, who kills birds?
But everyone acted like it wasn’t terribly alarming.
At least Rhy did. Until she had to unleash the power of a monsoon to save Prudence’s life.
So, not innocent at all. Because, but for the grace of our lady Rhiannon Elizabeth Crowhart, who the hell knows what would’ve happened to Pru? ”
Deryn took another deep drag, her lungs protesting the long-forgotten feeling of smoke.
“You never did determine where the fire started, did you, Ren?”
Seren shook her head.
“John Moss is acting like the break-in was just kids playing. Paloma seemingly takes it more seriously. I’ll have to ask her tomorrow what she meant in that cagey Caw interview.” Deryn stopped speaking abruptly, realizing that Seren was staring at her in disbelief.
“Okay, not you too, Ren. Yes, the Caw is right. Paloma and I are a thing. Will you focus on what’s important?”
Seren stubbed out her cigarette and extracted another one. Deryn lit it wordlessly. When the cloud of smoke around Seren’s face dissipated, her face was still astonished.
“Okay, I guess I should’ve read the Caw these past few days. You and Paloma Allende? Also, screw the Caw. My baby twin sister is dating the hottest woman on the island, and I am like the last to find out about it?”
Deryn winced, grateful for once that her twin couldn’t read her thoughts.
She hadn’t told Ceridwen the truth, and that was something that weighed heavily on her.
But she just outright lied to Seren, and she had never done it before.
They might’ve fought like cats as kids and like dogs as teens, but they never lied to each other.
“It’s not a big deal, Rennie,” Deryn mumbled and sent the remainder of the cigarette up in smoke in her hand.
“Hmm, not from where I’m standing. Does this mean you’re staying on Dragons now? Staying for real, not just till this entire curse fuckery resolves? Because Paloma—”
“What the hell is wrong with everyone telling me the same damn thing? It’s not like I proposed to the woman. I’ll be leaving soon enough. There! Happy?”
Seren’s face was shadowed, the dusk deepening around them both.
“No. I don’t care if you stay or go, Der, I want you to mean it. For once, I want you to make a decision and stick to it.”