Chapter 14 Deryn, Power & Pain
DERYN, POWER there’s pride there.
But also, a greater sense of responsibility.
She never takes it for granted. Hence, the circle is, above all, hers.
And then there’s you.” Pru waved her fingers at Deryn, and a silver thread floated close to Deryn’s golden glow, wrapping itself artfully around her palm.
Deryn felt the warmth and the slight prickle of something that felt distinctly like a hug, even though Prudence had not moved.
“And what about me?”
Prudence gave Deryn a long, appraising stare.
“I don’t know. What about you, Deryn?”
Prudence reached out a hand and slowly took her silver thread back.
Deryn felt the retreat of the warmth from her bones.
She let Prudence move just far enough before she murmured an incantation, and the golden glow around her hands turned into a mist enveloping them both, the heat of it welcoming and cozy.
Prudence laughed, her cheeks blooming with a lovely blush, her shawl falling off her shoulders.
“Show-off.”
Rhiannon stepped on the balcony, and a gust of wind almost dissipated the golden mist. But Deryn winked, and the glow stayed, now settling around her sister as well.
“I am not a scholar like Ceridwen, Pru. Nor do I treat it like an afterthought, like Seren.”
“Then what is it to you, Der?” Prudence’s fingers played with the golden hues around her.
“Magic, Pru. Just magic.”
Deryn snapped her fingers, and the mist was gone, the street cold and dark once again.
She jumped down the steps and turned the corner, determined to leave the lovebirds alone.
Something made her stop. She was certain Rhiannon and Prudence would leave the balcony—it was rather cold, after all.
But their voices drifted toward her. She knew better than to listen, and yet she stayed, eyes closed, hands in her pockets.
“…My point is that since she arrived, instead of welcoming your golden child, everyone is just mad at her. And I’m trying to figure out why.
Why is Victoria mad at her? Why is Seren taking potshots at her more often than not?
Why is Ceridwen, who is like everyone’s fairy godmother, just letting it all unfold?
She was all up in your business, Rhy. And suddenly? ”
Deryn caught sounds of movement and imagined Rhiannon holding Prudence closer, their embrace warming both of them.
Something in her chest knotted, a sense of envy she had never felt before.
Envy of that closeness, envy of the image in her head of the two of them standing on the balcony, arms intertwined, heads together.
United. A pair that was more one than passersby would realize.
Deryn had had time during her stay on the island to observe them, during and after Rhiannon’s recovery, and they were…
amazing. She couldn’t find a better word for it.
They were a unit. Without realizing it, they functioned as one, completing each other while retaining their individuality.
Deryn half thought that their magic was a product of their love, as they were so completely in tune.
And she realized as she stood there, listening to their hushed tones, that what she felt was regret, as well as that earlier envy.
Deryn Crowhart, who could have anyone, who could be anything, wanted that…
that unity. And she wanted it with someone who did not want it at all.
The memory of the night of the fire intruded, and the sensation of having found the dark amber eyes speared her. Deryn shook her head, tried to stay in the present, tried to cling to the sounds of Rhiannon’s and Pru’s voices.
“…I’m not mad at her, my love.”
There was the hum of a gentle kiss, then Prudence spoke again.
“You barely speak to her, Rhy.”
Deryn rolled her eyes and was certain Rhiannon did exactly the same. Then there was the muffled smack, and her guess was confirmed.
“Fine, fine, woman, I’ll speak to her. All this violence over my wayward sister!”
“She’s not wayward. She’s lonely, and you lot keep demanding things from her—”
“If Victoria and Seren are riding her, it’s because they want more from her, and Ceridwen is being Ceridwen, letting everyone reach the end of their rope before she steps in.”
“Oh, really? She didn’t do that with you.”
Rhiannon laughed, and Deryn propped her shoulder against the corner of the Book Nest. This was all rather eye-opening. Not entirely pleasant, but certainly informative.
“I was past the end of my rope, my love. I was dying and didn’t even know it.
Deryn is nowhere near my situation. She’s…
I guess the word I’d use is lost. Victoria is pushing her to find herself.
Seren is… I don’t know what Seren’s deal is.
It all goes back to Mom dying, and every single one of us having our grief and grievances when it comes to her.
Still, they’re twins, and they have their weird relationship where there’s nobody dearer to them, and yet they push each other’s buttons like nobody else.
And Ceridwen will step in. Eventually. She always does.
Deryn has messed up ever since I can remember, and she could never get anything right, but I admit that none of us actually knew what the hell we were asking her to get right in the first place. ”
Rhiannon’s sigh was particularly loud in the quiet of the night.
“Things were just always complicated with Deryn. And yes, I am the coward who skipped town and left her and Seren in Ceridwen’s lap to take care of.”
“So, you’ll do the same thing again?” Prudence did not appear impressed.
Deryn could hear her disapproval loud and clear.
The thought that other people were thinking of her as some kind of burden, something that needed tending and taking care of, something that needed fixing… Deryn felt tears well up.
“It’s more natural for Ceridwen to step in—” Rhiannon’s voice sounded defensive.
“Coward.”
“You bet I am. But I love my sisters, and I’m not entirely certain either of them should come to me, of all people, for advice.”
Rhiannon laughed, and so did Prudence. More kissing noises followed. Deryn exhaled.
The litany of names, actions, and motives that Rhiannon had listed before, along with the cold, chipped away at her defenses, battering an already tired system, slithering underneath her sweater, pricking her skin with restlessness and regret.
“Now, can we go inside? We can keep talking there. Unless—”
“I have better use for your mouth, Rhiannon Crowhart. You’ve said enough for one evening. I disagree with most of it. Let’s try something else entirely.”
There was kissing, and Deryn thought she heard a zipper being lowered before a door slammed, and the street was, once again, steeped in silence.
She ended up where she did not expect to. Or maybe she did. Security asked her no questions, and she didn’t see the guy call up as the elevator doors closed behind her.
The mirrors around her showed off a reflection that she barely recognized. She must’ve fallen as she made her way to the resort as the corner of her mouth was bloody and she had smears of dirt on her jeans. No wonder the guard looked at her strangely.
Still, when the door to 1326 opened, Paloma’s face did not show surprise. For a moment, it held a question, an eyebrow raised, and then it morphed into concern, a tanned hand reaching out, gentle fingers touching Deryn’s cheek. When Paloma lifted her fingers, they held small fragments of ice.