Chapter 24
DERYN, REALIZATIONS & CHEESE PUFFS
PALOMA ALLENDE ELECTED MAYOR OF CROW’S NEST!
After months of campaigns, controversies, and resignations, the residents of Crow’s Nest have elected a new mayor—the first woman to hold the office in the history of the town! The Caw congratulates Ms. Allende on her victory and wishes her a prosperous and efficient mandate.
In other news, we were going to thank Mr. Moss for his campaign and wish him well, hoping the day wasn’t too upsetting for him, but instead, we are here to report on Mr. Moss charging into Mrs. Victoria Crowhart-Moreau’s residence to discover his wife, Renee, in bed with the Crowhart matriarch.
When asked for a comment on the situation, a robe-clad Mrs. Crowhart-Moreau stated that “this would have never happened had my niece planted the damn hydrangeas around my house like I told her to, since Marsha McMons is a busybody! Marsha, if you’re reading this, I hope you enjoyed the show, you snitch!
Cocktails are free for everyone—not you, Marsha—all day at the Tavern tomorrow to celebrate Ms. Allende’s victory. ”
Mr. Moss was not available for a statement, and Mrs. McMons declined to comment but has since taken down the backyard telescope that was aimed at Mrs. Crowhart-Moreau’s house.
All in all, an action-packed day in the Nest. And there’s still the party at Three Dragons School celebrating Ms. Allende’s victory to come.
Watch this space (maybe not with special equipment).
—Crow’s Caw
Deryn thought she’d sprain something while reading the special edition of the Caw that evening. Victoria sat opposite her at Ceridwen’s kitchen table and nursed her third mug of tea. A plate of fresh-baked brownies was almost entirely decimated.
“Worked up an appetite there, Aunty?”
Seren laughed at her own joke and reached for another brownie. Victoria swatted her hand away and took one for herself, splitting it in half, then into quarters. Then, begrudgingly handed Seren the smallest piece.
“What I worked up is none of your business, Seren Gwen. But seeing as how you clearly have no business of your own, let me tell you… Renee is a good woman. She didn’t deserve this.
The publication aside, she didn’t deserve Marsha snooping and calling Moss, especially for him to come charging into something he was better off not seeing anyway. ”
“There must be something in the water, because I could swear we just said the same thing about Deryn and her being quite a public person these days on Dragons. So, on to the déjà vu. Aunty, your business is now all over the newspaper pages. As for Mrs. Moss… I dunno what she was thinking. Not about you, about marrying that prick.” Seren stuffed the piece of brownie into her mouth and made a satisfied noise.
“Goddess, Der, will you bake another batch?”
Deryn sighed. There really was no time. She got up anyway.
“We have to get going, you know. I don’t want to be late to the party. Not fashionably late, not any kind of late.”
Seren gave her a long look.
“She’s not your girlfriend. You don’t have to pretend with us, you know.”
Victoria smacked Seren again.
“What the hell was that for?” Seren cradled her hand and pouted.
“For fucking swearing!” Victoria carefully dunked her brownie into the tea. Deryn made a face at this way of eating the dessert.
“I swore after you hit me!” Seren’s voice was indignant.
“And you shouldn’t have.” Victoria took a small bite and sighed. “Heaven, Deryn. This is heaven.”
“Are you this nice to me because I got my head bashed in?” Deryn, who was already literally wrist-deep in a new batch of batter, blew the fringe out of her eyes.
“No,” Victoria said between bites. “You make very good brownies, so I can go easy on you. Also, I need your help.”
Deryn did not turn around to look at her aunt, but she figured Victoria would hear the sarcasm in her voice anyway. “I knew it. I knew there was a catch. What do you need?”
“Reem is helping with the catering, but I promised to assist with a few things, apps and such. They’re at the Tavern.”
Deryn nodded and eyed the portions, tried to make calculations in her head, gave up—since she’d absolutely mess up the math yet again—and then poured the mix into the small pan.
She smiled when she saw that there was roughly the same amount left for the second one.
Ceridwen’s kitchen was very pretty but very sparsely equipped.
Who only had two tiny baking pans? For a woman who could do anything and everything, Ceridwen was weirdly inept in the kitchen.
It made for some very funny childhood memories.
“If by ‘help’ you mean carry things, you do know that Seren is objectively stronger, no matter how I might protest under different circumstances?” Deryn slid the pans into the preheated oven and finally turned back around to see her twin stuff the last brownie into her mouth, looking at her guiltily.
“You’re just saying that because you don’t want to lift heavy things.
And no, I don’t believe she’s stronger. All that kneading gave you some really nice muscle definition.
You should show them off more often. I hear ladies like that.
Older, sophisticated ladies, even,” Victoria quipped and took a gulp of her tea.
She made a face before holding the mug to Deryn, who lifted her eyes heavenward but touched a fingertip to it anyway.
“I think you all just love me for the tricks. Also, I bet the British would curse you all out for using me as your instant water heater. I am basically your microwave right now.”
Deryn smirked, but Seren was giving Victoria a very strange look.
“You’re awfully involved in Deryn’s affairs there, Aunty. Her skills, her muscles. Older ladies? What gives?”
“Nothing, nothing. As I said, First Twin, you should get yourself some business to mind. And you, Second Twin”—Victoria pointed at Deryn—“should get dressed, because you are not attending a party in honor of your fake girlfriend, who just got elected mayor, in jeans that have this many holes in them.”
Deryn looked down at her turtleneck and black skinny jeans. They only had one hole at the knee. Yes, it was a large hole, but it was just one. Under Victoria’s death glare, however, she ran up to her bedroom to change.
Her phone was on the bedside table, a bad habit of leaving it behind and always forgetting where rearing its ugly head yet again. She sat down and picked it up, noticing that the battery was almost entirely spent.
Deryn didn’t curse, as there was no point.
But her conversation with Paloma rang in her mind.
ADHD. Was this another sign? She kept reading about it online: procrastination, inability to start tasks, being either super early or very late, wearing the same type of clothes every day because choosing was hard.
She looked up into the open closet where a sea of dark jeans with holey knees stared back at her.
Yeah, like she’d even have anything to choose from.
Was buying the same type of clothes a sign of ADHD?
She’d have to research that one as well.
She’d also have to send Paloma flowers. For her victory.
Were red roses too on the nose? Deryn unlocked her phone and googled the meaning of flowers.
When she caught herself five minutes later on Wikipedia, reading about the tulip fields in the Netherlands and their impact on the soil, she blinked and opened the calendar app.
Make an appointment with GP. Ask for ADHD assessment referral.
Deryn threw the phone on the bed, pulled on the only pair of black jeans that had no holes in them, and refreshed her perfume. She fiddled with her hair in the bathroom, trying to push the shaggy mess back from her face, only to have it fall back over her eyes. She needed a trim.
She very carefully opened the calendar app again and made another notation to book an appointment with a stylist, and soon.
“There. I have full control of my life now. Use apps! Paloma will be so proud…”
Paloma, who had made a point to avoid her since New Year’s Eve.
Deryn pretended to understand. Sex…was a complicated beast on the best of days.
What they had shared as the clock struck midnight?
Phew… It was so much more than just sex…
And so, Deryn pretended not to be hurt and still spent sleepless nights trying to figure out how to feel…
less. Yes, that would be the word she’d use.
She pointed a finger at Mirror Deryn. “Just feel less, okay? Paloma, your sisters and your aunt. Less. Not more.”
The second the words left her mouth, and she looked at her reflection, finger pointed at herself and all, she had to laugh at how ridiculous she was.
“You’re a meme, Deryn Crowhart.”
“Meow.”
Sooty jumped on the sink, and they stared at each other in the mirror. The cat narrowed her eyes. Deryn did not think it was an adoring squint. Sooty reserved those for Paloma.
“Do you have anything to add, cat?”
Sooty narrowed her eyes further.
“So you’re judging me?” Deryn asked, then blew her hair back from her face. “I am talking to a cat.”
Said cat made an annoyed sound and lifted her tail, jumped off the sink, and marched out of the bathroom. Deryn felt very foolish.
Her salvation from acting in an even more foolish manner came in the form of a text message, and seeing the name on the display immediately triggered those pesky butterflies.
Paloma: It’s crowded here at Dragons. Ceridwen just arrived and told me you and Seren are with Victoria, and she will draft you to help her with the food. So that’s what I’m relaying to those who ask. Also, people keep asking.
Deryn typed up three different responses, deleting each one. Then she sat down on the bed and put her head in her hands.
“Why am I like this?”
Since there was no possible answer to her question, she stuck to a simple reply.
Deryn: People are nosy.