Chapter 6
‘Honestly, I just don’t know what to do.
’ Taking a final look out of the window at Pennycress’s beautiful back garden below, the fairy lights woven through the branches of the willow tree illuminating the lawn in the dim moonlight of the evening, Polly drew the curtains and sat on the edge of the bed, her mobile firmly clasped to her ear.
‘I mean, can you believe it? First the role completely changes and then in walks Zac Sinclair. My dream position is quickly turning into the nightmare from hell.’
‘Oh, come on, don’t be dramatic,’ Stacey admonished.
‘You still have a job in the wildlife trust. Yes, the actual role might not be what you were expecting, but fundraising? That sounds fun!’ The crackling of plastic made its way down the line before her friend spoke again, her voice muffled, as though her mouth was full.
‘You never know, you might have hidden talents to bag millions for the reserve.’
‘Haha, I think I’d be happy to just meet the target.’ Polly laughed. She’d known Stacey would take some of the nerves away. ‘Are you eating on the line with me?’
‘Oh yes, I’d apologise, but you have two choices, to put up with me talking with my mouth full or else hear me retching with starvation.’
Polly slumped her shoulders. ‘You missed lunch again?’
‘What’s lunch? I missed breakfast because I had to get in early to get myself organised for assembly and then at lunchtime, I had lunch duty for the first half as we’re not one, but two dinner ladies down, and then had to deal with a bust-up in Year Six as the supply teacher refused.’
‘Yikes. Fun times.’
‘So, you know, if you want to come back to teaching, we have positions available.’ Stacey finished chewing and took a huge gulp, most likely of coffee. ‘Please come back. I don’t even have anyone to complain to anymore because your replacement is fresh out of uni and still in the honeymoon period.’
‘Oh, you love it really.’ Stacey had always had a passion for teaching, a passion that, even after twelve years, hadn’t waned like Polly’s had.
‘Umm, I do. But I miss you.’
‘I miss you too, but I can’t come back. As much as I loved actually being in the classroom and teaching the kids, all the rest of it…
’ Polly shrugged. ‘You know – the paperwork, the pointless meetings where I’d just sit and think how irrelevant the topic was to our year group, the marking, the assessments, the—’
‘Not to mention the elephant in the room. Or, more aptly, the elephant trying to block the phone line.’ Stacey sighed. ‘He’s put in his resignation, you know.’
Polly lay back onto the bed, the puffy duvet almost engulfing her. She took a deep breath in before she replied, the lavender-scented fabric conditioner reminding her of her grandparents’ house. ‘Don’t even—’
‘Benjamin Joines—’
Slapping her free hand over her eyes, Polly groaned. ‘I told you not to say his name.’
‘No, you didn’t, but I knew what you were going to say.’ Stacey laughed before her voice grew serious again. ‘Honestly, Pol, you shouldn’t have let him force you out. I can only imagine how it must have felt seeing him day in, day out, but look, he’s leaving now. He’s moving to Castlewold Primary.’
‘I take it that’s as headteacher?’ Her ex had always been career-motivated, hungry for promotion.
More so than Polly, and that had eventually come between them.
She swallowed as an image of him came to mind.
When Ben had been promoted to deputy headteacher, he’d lorded it over her, patronising her and chiding her, telling her she should have more ambition, more drive.
But the truth was, if she’d stayed in teaching, being promoted would have been the last thing she’d wanted.
When she’d worked full time, she’d struggled enough trying to keep on top of everything.
She hadn’t wanted to add to her workload, and besides, her favourite part of the job had been teaching the children in her care.
She hadn’t wanted to be pulled away from the classroom to focus on paperwork.
‘Yep. Headteacher. So now he’s out of the picture. Why don’t you come back?’ Stacey began chewing again.
‘Nope, you’ll still see him. Castlewold Primary is still part of the same academy trust. He’ll still be at all the academy meetings, the career development courses…
’ Taking a deep breath, Polly gripped hold of the mahogany bedside table and pulled herself to sitting.
‘Besides, my love for teaching has gone. I don’t want to do that anymore. ’
Stacey sighed heavily. ‘Answer me one question then?’
Polly rolled her eyes. She knew what she was going to ask her. It would be the same question her friend had asked her about a million times before. And that wasn’t an exaggeration. ‘I know what you’re going to ask me. Would I still have left teaching if Ben and I hadn’t broken up?’
‘Well?’
‘I’ll give the exact same answer I always give to your exact same question: yes.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
Polly picked up the small bronze alarm clock next to her.
She’d have to ask the inn’s owner, Laura, if she minded moving it out of her room.
There was no way she’d be able to sleep with that ticking in her ear.
The only reason she had last night was because she must have been so shattered that she’d fallen straight to sleep as soon as her head had hit the pillow.
She blamed her grandmother for filling the flat with loudly ticking clocks when she was growing up.
‘Well, the truth is the only thing I can give you.’
‘Umm…’
‘It’s the truth. Besides, we’ve been split five years now.’ Polly placed the clock under the pillow. She couldn’t cope with both Stacey’s interrogation and the relentless ticking.
Stacey carried on, ignoring the little detail of the time passed between Polly’s heart being broken into a thousand pieces and today.
‘I’m your best mate. We’ve known each other twelve years now, ever since the first day you walked through the gates of Daisy Chain Primary School.
We’ve been together through the highs and lows of every relationship either of us has had since… ’
‘Ha, the one jerk you encountered before you met, Freddie, the love of your life, you mean?’
‘Yes, okay. I admit I’ve been lucky, but still, me and you, we’ve been best mates through all of your heartbreaks and lucky escapes, but the one with Ben was different. It really hit you and you’ve let it – him – take over your life.’
‘I have not!’ Polly placed her hand over the pillow, cocooning the clock in a soft cavern.
Stacey was right, her break-up with Ben had been brutal – she’d been merrily planning their wedding without realising her fiancé was having second thoughts and had been discussing all their problems with their headteacher before ending the relationship the day she’d brought home her wedding dress, but that wasn’t the point.
She hadn’t left teaching because of him.
Not really. ‘The break-up made me realise I wanted something different out of life. It made me want to try a different avenue.’
‘Polly…’
‘It’s true. Yes, Ben did change me, but he didn’t take my love of teaching away from me, he just made me look at life a little differently.
’ Polly looked towards the window, wishing she hadn’t closed the curtains.
‘Yes, if he hadn’t broken off the wedding, if he hadn’t insisted on staying in our home until it had sold, then I might never have got involved with volunteering at the trust just to escape the impossible atmosphere in the house, but I did, and I’m glad I did.
Plus, it let me spend the last few years caring for Grandma in her own home.
And now, I need this change. More than ever, Stacey. ’
‘Okay.’ Stacey’s voice changed from exasperation to kindness. ‘I hear you and I won’t question your reasoning again.’
‘Thank you. Sorry if I sounded super grumpy. It’s just been a real day of it.
’ Polly sighed. She’d been so looking forward to her first day in her new job and to have the role changed at the last minute and then for it to be topped off with Zac Sinclair’s surprise appearance, she just wanted to hole up for a bit.
But she wouldn’t. She had research to do, preparation to start on.
‘About that, don’t let Zac get under your skin. Tolerate him for the three months and then when you’re promoted you can jolly well sack him on the spot.’
Polly’s lips twitched, the image of her standing there and shaking a finger in Zac’s direction as she hollered, ‘You’re fired’ in her best Alan Sugar impression, bringing a smile to her face. ‘I’m not sure it quite works like that, but I’ll keep it in mind.’
‘There you go then.’ Stacey took a deep breath.
‘Right, I’m going to force the rest of this warm and likely salmonella-riddled chicken sandwich down my throat and crack on with marking, you go and grab a cuppa and research the heck out of what a fundraising agent or whatever is so you can wow the boss tomorrow. ’
‘Officer. Fundraising and development officer,’ Polly corrected.
‘Yeah that. You’ve got this, Pols.’
‘Thanks.’ Ending the call, Polly held the phone to her chest. After years of having her friend right there by her side, she missed Stacey and the guaranteed positivity she brought to any situation.
Taking the offending noise machine from under the pillow, Polly stood up and grabbed her laptop.
She’d get a cup of tea and sit in the gorgeous sitting room downstairs for a couple of hours and make use of the time she had before bed.