Chapter 21 #2
Mike took hold of Jack’s hand and gently pulled it away from his face, breaking their kiss.
“Enough about you. Enough about me. There’s stuff we have to discuss.
” He took a deep breath. “Tell me you’re looking out for your scene partners, Jack.
Tell me you take goddamn Truvada every single fucking day.
Tell me you’re at least looking for some sign that they’re on PrEP, and that you’re being careful. ”
There was that overwhelming silence, and suddenly Mike had to see Jack’s face.
He switched on the lamp and stared at his ex, blinking in the light.
“We made promises to each other, babe,” Mike said at last. “Remember? We promised that wherever we were, whomever we were filming with, we would be the person on set who was taking care of everyone, making sure everyone was safe. ’Cause we knew we couldn’t rely on the studios to do it for us. ”
Jack nodded. “Yes, I remember,” he whispered.
Mike studied him. “But we both know there are days when you’ve got an infection, and your viral load soars. What then, Jack, when you’re putting those around you at risk? Are you being careful then? Taking care of those you curl up with?”
Silence. Jack looked for all the world like he’d just taken a blow to the stomach. “You’re really asking me that?”
Mike’s heart sank to see Jack’s pallor. “Babe, I have to. I never thought you’d do bareback, and yet here you are.
I never believed you could do this. I… I thought you had more integrity than this.
” Oh fuck. I said it. The words were out, no taking them back.
And with them, Mike found himself facing a prospect he’d never contemplated—losing Jack.
Jack winced, and the light died in his eyes. “Shit, Mike.”
He grasped Jack’s hand. “There are guys in this industry who do bareback because it’s work and because, let’s face it, there’s no such thing as a full-time job in porn, is there?
That also means there are guys out there who can’t afford Truvada, which we both know costs an arm and a leg, so you can forget about health insurance.
So yeah, you bet your ass I’m asking if you’re taking care of them.
’Cause I don’t think for one goddamn minute that Rock Hard Men is making sure every guy you film with is positive.
” He stared intently at Jack. “Tell me I’m wrong. ”
Jack bowed his head, but Mike still caught the words.
“You’re not wrong.”
Mike gazed at Jack’s head, his heart pounding as he awaited Jack’s next words. Jack lifted his chin and met Mike’s gaze head on.
“Yes, babe. I swear. I’m being careful. I take my meds every single morning. I talk to guys on set, make sure they know the facts about Truvada. And you can bet I’m fucking careful on set too.”
Mike looked into those expressive brown eyes. Jack seemed to be holding his breath. Finally Mike nodded. “Thank you.” He was shaking.
Jack sagged onto the pillow, his relief evident. “Fuck, Mike. If you only knew how much I’d been dreading this conversation. I knew it was gonna be bad, but babe, you….” A shudder coursed through him.
Mike shifted on the mattress and pulled Jack to him, enfolding him in his arms. “Shhh, it’s over now.
” They lay there in the silence, Mike’s heartbeat returning to its normal pattern.
He felt Jack’s tension ease little by little, until he lay quietly, his head tucked against Mike’s chest. For the first time since he’d laid eyes on Jack a few hours ago, Mike relaxed.
“It is good to see you.” It was the best signal he could give to let Jack know normal conversation could resume.
Jack picked up on it and eased himself out of Mike’s arms. “You too. I’m just sorry we’re not doing a scene together.
Mine’s with Jesse, who seems like a nice guy.
Young, but aren’t they all these days?” He smiled.
“Anyway, enough about me. What’s happening in the world of Scott Masters? ” The color had returned to his cheeks.
“Not much.” Mike chuckled. “I say that, and yet I have news similar to yours.” He smiled. “I’ve met someone.”
Jack’s eyes widened. “But that’s great news! Tell me all about him.”
They lay on their sides, facing each other, heads propped up on pillows, while Mike told Jack all about how he’d met Tommy, their weekends together, Tommy’s history.
Jack made unhappy noises when he heard about Tommy’s family and their ultimatum but snorted when Mike regaled him with the Scrabble story.
“He sounds like he’s really good for you,” Jack said with a smile. “Well, he’s obviously good for you, ’cause you’ve never looked better.”
“Flatterer.”
“No, really. You look great, Mike.” Jack’s face glowed in the lamplight. “So, does he know about the porn?” Mike let out a heavy sigh, and Jack sat up in bed, eyes wide. “Oh fuck. You haven’t told him, have you?”
“Not yet.”
Jack studied him. “That sounds like you’ve thought about it, at least. Wanna tell me why you’ve put it off so far?”
“Does Luca know about you?” Mike demanded.
“Luca knows everything.” Jack’s face was soft. “All of it—the porn, my status, even those friends I curl up with when I’m away from him. And he’s fine with it all.”
“Then he’s an exceptional man.” Mike scraped a hand across his scalp.
“Jack, the number of times I’ve thought ‘This is it. This is the one.’ Then he finds out about Scott Masters and bingo—adios.
” The thought of Tommy’s face, lined in disappointment—or even worse, horror—was too much to contemplate.
“Mike, you have to tell him,” Jack stressed. “You’re hiding a huge part of yourself by not telling him.”
“And what if I don’t want to run the risk of losing him?”
“Mike.” Jack’s voice was gentle.
“Look, I’ll tell him. I’ve already said I would, haven’t I? It’s just a question of finding the right moment.”
“Then make the right moment,” Jack suggested. “It’s nearly spring break, isn’t it? Why don’t you take Tommy away somewhere, just the two of you? I’ll bet with all your traveling, you’ve amassed enough frequent flier miles to be able to take him wherever you might wanna go.”
Mike had to admit it was a good idea. In fact, now he thought about it, the idea really appealed to him. “I’m going to call him tonight. I’ll put it to him then.”
“Great.” Jack stretched out his hand and stroked Mike’s cheek. “So… can I sleep here with you tonight?” His voice softened.
Mike became still beneath that hand. “Since when have you and I ever shared a bed and just slept?” He knew what Jack was asking, and for some unknown reason his stomach clenched.
“True.” Jack chuckled. “So I guess what I’m asking is, do you want to?”
Mike drew in a couple of deep, even breaths. “Would you be really hurt if I said no?”
Jack stared at him. Just… stared. Then his face creased in a slow, radiant smile. “Well, whaddaya know?” he exclaimed softly. “Mike Scott is in love.”
The world seemed to spin just that little bit slower. “What?”
Jack tilted his head to one side. “Tommy’s not just some guy, is he?
You’re in love with him. Or falling in love with him.
Whatever.” His lips parted, his breathing hitched.
“Oh my God. Talk about blind.” He grinned.
“You really can’t see it, can you? Oh, this is just…
delicious.” He leaned forward and kissed Mike on the lips.
“I am so happy for you, Mike, really. I wish you every happiness.”
Jack’s words were more than a blessing. They were his way of letting Mike go, and Mike knew it. What was more astonishing was that Mike was ready for it. He’d expected a wrench that left him heart sore and hurting, but what he got instead was a slow release of… peace.
Mike curved his hand around Jack’s face and kissed him on the mouth, a gentle brushing of lips. He smiled at him. “Thank you,” he said softly. Message received and understood.
Jack’s eyes sparkled. “Sleep well, babe.” He threw back the blankets and got up from the mattress to stand next to it, gazing down at Mike, still wearing that same smile and shaking his head. “Who’d have thought it, huh? Mike Scott in love.” He left the room, chuckling to himself.
Mike turned off the light and pulled the blanket up over his shoulders.
He lay there, the words still ringing in his head.
In love with Tommy? His first thought was that Jack was seeing something that simply wasn’t there.
Except the more he thought about it, the more sense it made.
He pictured Tommy’s face, that sweet smile, the way Tommy looked up at him when they were in bed together, that light in his eyes, the way Tommy made him feel… .
Well, fuck. Maybe Jack wasn’t so wrong after all.
Breakfast was over, the dishes cleared away, and everywhere was clean, ready for work to begin. The five actors sat around the breakfast bar with Pete and Tony, talking through the script, while the production crew got set up in the living room.
“We’re going to film the five scenes in chronological order,” Pete told them.
“So that means Scott and Kyler first, the night of Kyler’s eighteenth birthday.
Then it’s Jesse’s scene with Armando, after he’s seen Kyler and Scott asleep naked on the couch.
The scene ends with Armando’s wife coming home early to find him in bed with Jesse.
Scene three is Armando’s friend Nico coming round, and Jesse spying on him and Armando fucking in the basement.
The next scene will be Jesse getting into bed with Kyler, and then it’s the scene with Scott and Nico. ”
There were nods from everyone. Kyler was a little sullen and kept sneaking glances at Mike but said nothing.
Jesse was calm and collected, although this would only be his second scene.
And Nico was, well… Nico. Mike had to smile.
The large man had an even larger personality, effervescent and full of enthusiasm.