Now
CHAPTER
NINE
Jackson
“I’ve been thinking,” I let out, breaking the silence.
“Hm?”
We’re lying down on the backseat of my car, wrapped in a blanket, while the sounds of the night spill through the open door and windows.
Evie is working at the diner again this summer, and I’m spending most of my time at the garage, earning a small wage as well.
But every evening, I go help her wrap up, we get into my car, and I drive us here, to our secret spot.
I thought last summer was the best one of my life, but this beats it, hands down. We’ve been having tons of sex, nearly every night before I drive her back to the trailer park. I keep the blanket and a box of condoms in the car just for these evenings. And I’ve never been this fucking happy.
Her first few times were painful, the first one especially, but she’s gotten used to it, and I’ve gotten better. She wants it as much as I do now, and she’s getting bolder. She rode me just now, for the first time, and I can’t wait for the day we can finally do it on a proper bed.
“I was thinking that, after you’ve graduated, we should move to Indiana.”
She looks up, resting her chin on my chest. There isn’t much room for us on the seat, so she’s stuck between me and the backrest, though most of her weight is on me. Our feet dangle outside, the breeze of the night cooling us off.
“Why Indiana?”
“You remember that Formula 4 scout, the other day?” She nods. “They’re in Indianapolis. Between that and the surrounding states, there are many races year-round.”
She returns her temple to my chest, pensive. “You should probably go now, shouldn’t you?”
“I’m not leaving without you, Evie. We’re in this together, and if I have to wait for you to graduate, so be it.”
She ponders, her fingers toying with the sparse hair on my chest. “I could take extra courses next year. I should have enough credits to graduate early, at the same time as you.”
“You think you can handle your shifts at the diner and extra courses?”
“Probably not.”
“Then I’ll help. I’ll keep working at the garage, keep racing. And I’ll give you as much money as I can.”
Her pretty hazel irises meet mine again. “So, same time next year, we could have our own place in Indiana?”
“That’s the plan, yes. I’ll be in F4 and make enough money to get us a nice little house. Then I’ll be promoted to F3, then F2, and in a few years, I’ll get you that house in Italy, and we’ll live there whenever we’re not traveling around the world.”
She’s so fucking pretty when she smiles like this …
“Do you know if they have Italian classes at school? I could take that for extra credit.”
“I don’t know. But you’re so clever, you’ll learn on the spot.”
The compliment earns me another joyful grin. “I found a book the other day at the library, with pictures of Italian landscapes. There’s this area called Tuscany. It’s so pretty, Jax.”
“It is?”
“Yes, the light is amazing, and there are those long and narrow trees? I don’t know the name. I think I’d want to live there.”
“Anywhere you want, princess. I’ll let you choose the place, the house, the kind of pool you want …”
“If we have enough money, I think I’d want an infinity pool. That’s when the water goes over the edges.”
“That sounds cool.”
“It’s the best kind of pool. And you know what’s the funniest part?”
“What?”
“The main city in Tuscany is called Florence.”
I laugh at that, a full-chested, deep rumble that shakes her over me. “From Florence, Colorado to Florence, Italy …”
“Exactly.”
“So, to recap,” I say, adjusting myself under her, “next year, Indiana for a couple of seasons of F4. After that, we move to Europe, I do two F3 seasons, same for F2, and finally, F1. Do we get married before or after we move there?”
Her eyes are round with shock when they meet mine this time. “What?” I chuckle. “Why are you surprised by this?”
“We never talked about it before.”
“No, but we’ve been talking about the rest of our lives together. Of course, we’re getting married.”
Instead of another bright smile, my affirmation earns me a kiss. A deep, thankful, and needy kiss. When she tugs at the cover to let it fall to the side, I smile like an idiot. Twice in one evening? How did I ever get so lucky?
“I take it this means you’ll marry me?” I rasp as she descends down my stomach, her plump lips leaving a trail of kisses behind.
“Of course I’ll marry you, Jax.”
“When?”
She’s almost at my dick, now, and again, I can’t believe my luck.
“Tuscany sounds like a great destination wedding.”
“Anything you want, princess.”
There’s no more talking past that point. We don’t need to.
Just like we don’t need rings to know we belong to one another. This girl is mine just as much as I’m hers. I’m never letting her go.
“Ican’t believe this place is still open,” Evie lets out as we step into the diner she used to work at.
“What do you mean? It’s a landmark.”
“It’s a crappy diner with poor service. Honestly, it’s a miracle they haven’t closed yet.”
“I’m not sure about the poor service. Some waitresses were nice.” I offer her a side look, which she answers with a small grin.
I can’t tell if it’s muscle memory or old habits, but we both walk to “our” booth, all the way in the back corner. It’s been years since I last came here, and given the way she’s looking at everything with bright eyes, I’d say she hasn’t returned either.
“How is your sophisticated palate going to handle diner cuisine?” she teases.
“I can lower my standards on special occasions. And this is a very special occasion, isn’t it?”
“I can’t believe you’re fixing her. Along with you, she’s my oldest friend. Fifteen years, almost. Feels like twice that, yet I can still remember it as if it were yesterday.”
“Me too. I remember everything. Every moment with you, Evie. Down to the weird smell in that little chapel in Vegas. I don’t know what it was, but it was vile.”
“I think it was old, dried puke. We were probably the only sober couple they’d had all week.”
I scrunch my nose at that. “Do you still have your ring?”
“It’s in my jewelry box at home.”
“Yeah, same,” I say.
Evie seems to be within herself for a moment, probably thinking back on our impulsive decision over ten years ago. “You were right,” she starts. “It wasn’t a mistake. Not at that time. Not for us.”
“It still isn’t a mistake for me now.”
A waitress, who’s around the same age we were when we got married, arrives at our table. “Hey, guys. Welcome to Colette’s. Can I get you anything while you look at our menus?”
“Actually, we’ll have one serving of every dessert, please,” I say. “And two milkshakes, half chocolate, half peanut butter.”
“Uh—yeah, okay. I’ll be right back.”
The girl leaves, and Evie stares at the table between us while she hesitantly asks, “Have you ever … met someone you could see yourself marrying? Another woman who may be it for you?”
“No. There’s only ever been one person who made me feel that way—like I could have her, and only her, for the rest of my life, and be perfectly content with it. And I’m beginning to fear there won’t ever be anyone else like that for me.”
She frowns, still looking down. “It’ll happen one day, Jax. You meet so many people, it’s bound to happen.”
“What if I don’t want that?”
“You can’t live your whole life alone. I know you’ll meet the right woman one day.”
“I already have.”
Whatever is happening outside seems to captivate her attention for a few moments. When she turns to me again, she has a new topic in mind.
“Are you anxious about Miami next week?”
I shrug. “I’ve won all five races so far this season. I have no reason to think this will go any differently.”
“Are you trying to become the first driver to win all twenty-four trophies in a season?”
“I’m not sure that can be done. But I’ll be damned if I don’t try.”
“Well, if anyone can do it, it’s you, Jax.”
The waitress returns with our milkshakes, then disappears again.
“You were always my most fervent supporter,” I tell Evie. “You’ve believed in me from the start. You never doubted that I could accomplish my dreams.”
“And you have yet to prove me wrong.”
We talk about the Miami Grand Prix for a moment, then the girl comes back with no less than thirteen plates of desserts.
Pies, cheesecakes, waffles, cakes … We’ll never finish all this, but then again, we never managed to in the past either.
We used to ask to have it wrapped up, and Evie would go home with the leftovers, delighted by the prospect of having desserts for the whole week.
“Aren’t athletes like you on a very strict diet?” she wonders as we dig in.
“Yes, especially since I’m already heavier than most F1 drivers. But again, I’ve won every race so far this season, I think they can cut me some slack.”
We try small bites of everything first, sharing our thoughts and comparing these new versions to the memories we had of them. Everything tastes sweeter than I remembered, but that makes sense since I’m eating far less sugar now.
Evie doesn’t seem to feel the same, going after her old favorites with her usual enthusiasm.
This moment we share is everything. Like a glimpse into our lives if she hadn’t walked away. We could have been doing this the whole time, returning to this shitty diner now and then, sharing desserts, talking …
Instead, we’ve had seven years of emptiness. Nearly a decade of wasted potential.
“Did you sign it?” I ask randomly.
She immediately understands what I’m talking about, and her relaxed expression turns pensive. With a hand in front of her mouth, she finishes chewing, swallows, and meets my eyes.
“I did.”
“Why didn’t my lawyers tell me?”
“Because mine doesn’t have it yet, so it hasn’t been officially filed.”
“Why?”
“Again, my life is busier than it looks, Jackson.”
“You could have gone today.”
“No, I had to visit my mom.”
I lean back into the booth. “How’s Ms. G doing?”
“Good. Really good, actually. She stopped drinking four years ago.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I’ve been helping her, supporting her to make sure she stays sober.”
“That’s great. I never thought I’d live to see the day.”