29. Kit
Kit
T he morning of the first Oath, I slipped out of the house before Penny woke and walked a circuit of Ashpoint’s outer road while waiting for the market to open. By the time I made it to the central square, a handful of other people milled about, but it was otherwise quiet.
I caught Rosie as she placed the last tray of baked goods on the counter of her booth, and she smiled up at me, polite but guarded.
She was clearly wary of me after the ill-fated dinner at the tavern and my curt brushoff of her friend.
To be fair, our handful of interactions hadn’t given much space to get to know one another, and I was all too used to being distant and aloof here.
It also didn’t help that when Penny had tried to introduce us in the first place, I’d been too distracted by trying to figure out how to approach Levitt about the altercation with Merrick in the stairwell.
“Good morning, Kit. Big day today.”
I gave a weak smile in return. “Certainly is,” I said. “I was hoping you might have baked up a few of those almond turnovers.”
She gestured to the tray on the far left of the counter. “I did, indeed.”
“Better give me three of those. Penny ate half of mine last time.”
Her smile warmed at the mention of my recruit, and she giggled. “You seem fond of him,” she said, carefully wrapping the trio of pastries.
The statement caught me off guard. Was that really the impression people got of us?
Penny was certainly fond of me , but I was only ever polite to him in public.
I didn’t show signs of any sort of affection.
He was my responsibility and plying him with pastries made him easier to manage. Simple as that.
“He’s my apprentice and my recruit. It’s my job to look after him.” My protest made her smile more.
She held the turnovers out. “Anything else this morning?”
“That’ll be it.” I exchanged a couple of coppers for the pastries and thanked her, then added, “We’ll see you this afternoon.”
She waved as I headed for the pub. I knew neither Penny nor I would feel up to making dinner after the branding, so something that we could just stick in the oven was in order, and a pair of stout pies fit the bill.
It was quiet when I stepped inside, though when I saw Tessa behind the bar, I started to turn, fully prepared to leave empty-handed. But the young woman spotted me before I could turn away, and I couldn’t pretend to miss her waving me over.
“I don’t often see you without your chatty tagalong, Mister Koesters,” she said as I stepped up to the bar. “It’s a rare treat. ”
Her comment about Penny had my hackles rising more than they already were. “Morning, Tessa. Just here for a couple of stout pies to go.”
Instead of heading to the kitchen to get my order, she leaned an arm on the bar top and gave what was probably meant to be a sultry smirk.
“You poor man. Clearly, you need a woman to cook for you. As I said, I know the recipes for everything we serve here, and I would be happy to join you for dinner after the ceremony tonight and make you whatever you’d like. I happen to have the evening off.”
I forced a smile when what I wanted to do was snarl. “Tonight, I’ll be looking after my recruit, and I doubt either of us will be good company. So, I’ll just take the two pies.”
She giggled and shook her head. “Nonsense. You’re always good company, Kit.”
“I would respectfully disagree.”
Behind me, the door opened, and another patron entered, a timely reprieve. Tessa sighed and pushed off the counter, her smile never flagging as she backed toward the kitchen. “I’ll get your pies for tonight, but you can’t avoid me forever.”
I could certainly try.
When she returned, I handed over coin for the food and took the pies covered in waxed cloth and beat a hasty retreat before she could drag me into further conversation.
I returned home and stashed the pies in the icebox. Penny roused to the smell of coffee, and we shared the turnovers before heading out to the forge.
Neither of us could sit still all day. Penny chattered as usual, but it was a different sort of talk, disjointed sentences left incomplete when thoughts crowded in.
He would trail off into quiet, then regain himself and start again.
I didn’t correct him or fill the voids he left, finding myself thankful for any conversation that might distract from our shared inner turmoil.
We kept ourselves occupied until we headed home and were summoned before dinner.
The woman who came to the door and led us to the Ossuary wore a hooded cloak so we couldn’t see her face, and she barely spoke a word.
My father told me years ago that it was symbolic of losing oneself to become something more.
When your Oaths were complete, you were no longer an individual but simply a fragment of the whole.
It didn’t matter who you were before your initiation because you came out of it at the end as a part of Eeus.
Rosie, Anders, and two initiates we hadn’t met yet were already in the atrium when we arrived, seated on the long bench set before the altar in the middle of the room. All the doorways save for one had been roped off to deny us access.
But the hall that led off the atrium opposite the door yawned before us like a mouth to the abyss, lined with flickering torches and flanked by robed figures.
Beyond the iron door at the end was the ritual room I’d only been in once before and had vowed never to return to.
It was there where Levitt, Merrick, and the Death Watch met to discuss important business, where they handed down judgments on those who misbehaved, and where they would witness our first Oath.
Beyond that door, there was no turning back.
Penny and I settled in to wait while the other four recruits filtered in. Anders strutted about with his shirt unbuttoned to show off his brand and let everyone know that he was only there to speak the tenets since he’d already completed this Oath.
“Bold of you to brag when you didn’t make it past the second Oath last year,” Otis grumbled from his seat beside Isla.
“I’ll find a body this year,” Anders said sharply. “It’s not uncommon to have trouble finding one in the first round. Half of the initiate group before mine had to restart because they failed to bring a body back.”
Otis scoffed and folded his arms over his chest. “If that makes you feel better, by all means, tell yourself whatever you need.”
Memories from the last time I sat this vigil pulled at me like an unrelenting tide, trying to drag me under.
Violette grinning like a wolf, Levitt wringing his hands in his lap and chewing his lip, and eleven others whose faces I’d long since forgotten.
And then there was me, staving off a panic attack by digging my nails into my palms until blood beaded up.
The clank of the iron door’s latch jerked me back to the present, and I found my fingers burrowed into my thighs. I loosened them as another robed figure emerged from the hall and pointed at me.
I swallowed hard enough that I was sure Penny heard and pushed to my feet. One last glance back at his terrified face, and I skirted around the altar to follow the lackey into the belly of the beast.
It was like stepping into a vast cave, the darkness eating up the walls and ceiling so that it felt like we were orbiting the single spot of light in an endless void.
The ritual chambers were dark but for the flaming brazier at the foot of the raised dais at the far side of the room.
The Sentinels flanked the flames, two on either side, and up the three steps, Levitt sat on the throne to the right, and Merrick occupied the one to the left.
Aside from the brazier, the only item in the room was the wooden chair facing the entire assembly .
“Kitingor Koesters.” The tallest Sentinel read my name from a scroll before handing it to the woman beside him. “Step into the light.”
I forced my shoulders back despite the dread weighing me down. I moved to stand before the brazier and kept my eyes on the flames.
“Who presents this recruit?” the Sentinel asked.
Levitt stood and descended from the dais to stand at my right. “I do.”
The Sentinel dipped his head in acknowledgment, then motioned to me. “Remove your shirt.”
It would inevitably be seen as an affront that I’d had my old brand tattooed over to hide it, but I’d had plenty of time to cultivate a story that I hoped would play on the Bone Men’s need for secrecy. Even still, it was a wonder my hands weren’t shaking too hard to undo the buttons down my front.
When my shirt slid off my shoulders, it was hard to miss the sneer of disgust that twisted Merrick’s face at the sight of the ink that spread from my shoulder halfway down my torso. But before he could say anything, Levitt leaned in.
“You covered it up?” he asked with something like hurt in his voice.
I wanted to cover it back up now .
“Not by choice,” I said, focusing on my old friend’s concerned expression to avoid everyone else’s.
“When I left, I was taken in by another follower of Eeus, and it was his requirement if I wanted to stay. He worried that if the people in town saw it, they’d have me arrested and questioned, and that would put Ashpoint at risk. ”
Levitt’s frown smoothed, and relief washed through me.
“I wasn’t happy about it, but Eeus knew I was still his. My faith never wavered. And I would do anything to protect what we’re building here.”
A wan smile tipped Levitt’s lips. “Well, it will be good to reaffirm your devotion for the rest of the world to see. No more need to hide.”
The words tasted foul when I recalled what both he and Violette had said and parroted it back to him. “It’s good to be home.”
The Sentinel stepped up to the brazier and gestured toward the chair several feet in front of it. “Are you ready to begin?”
I draped my shirt over the back of the chair, then sank into it with a nod. He removed the first piece of the brand from the fire, and I tried to let my mind go blank as he spoke the first of the seven tenets and I echoed it back.
The moment the piece of the brand touched the raised scar tissue, it was all I could do not to scream.
It was worse than I remembered. Either time had dulled my memory, or I wasn’t as accustomed to suffering now as I had been back then.
Regardless, at the second piece, I bit my tongue to stop myself from crying out.
The third piece of the brand came out of the flames, and I choked out the required words. “I willingly give of my life as a symbol of my commitment to the divine purpose. In so doing, I acknowledge the greater good and the importance of self-sacrifice in the pursuit of enlightenment.”
Sweat rolled down my face, and it was getting harder to keep my stony mask of composure from crumbling with each new lick of fire over my skin.
My mind wandered back to the first time I sat in this chair and endured this pain, watched over by those now lost to history.
My father stood to my right, the closest thing to a smile on his face that I’d seen in years.
For once, he looked at me with pride instead of disdain.
It was his crowning moment, the culmination of twelve years spent molding me into a copy of himself.
It was the proudest he’d ever been of me, and I reveled in the knowledge that, in a few short hours, I’d deliver him the biggest disappointment of his life when I disappeared.
“I will cultivate resilience in the face of adversity,” I echoed the Sentinel. “I will view challenges as opportunities for growth and community, trusting in the wisdom of the divine to guide me through difficult times with strength and unwavering faith.”
Another flash of pain, another piece of the brand complete, and I chanced a glance at Levitt. His eyes tracked the Sentinel as he returned to the brazier and retrieved the next. His face was impassive, but as I repeated the next tenet and the fifth strike of the brand touched my skin, he flinched.
In far too short a time, it would be me in his place, watching Penny endure this seemingly endless torment.
The sixth piece of the brand sizzled into my skin, and I wasn’t sure I had it in me to stand by without intervening.
Penny wasn’t one to mask his emotions, and I often found myself more troubled than I should have been by his distress.
The only way I’d make it through would be if I didn’t look at him.
But somehow, that felt like the cruelest thing I could do.
After the final piece of the brand was back in the fire, Levitt offered me his left hand and pulled me to my feet. I swayed, and a grin stretched across his face as he steadied me.
“Welcome back into the fold,” he said. “Now, let’s see about your recruit.”