Chapter 11 Nathan #2
“You do know my little brother is gay, right? Not that that’s the reason I don’t care, but, you know, maybe if you paid more attention to other people, you wouldn’t get so wrapped up in your own head.”
Shit. Am I really that self-involved? I didn’t know Evan was gay. Didn’t know Ben was gay. I’m about to apologize when I notice Priestley is smirking. I’ve never even met his family.
“What the fuck Priestley? Why would I know your little brother’s gay?”
He chuckles.
“You’re such a dick sometimes.”
He gets serious in 0.2 seconds flat. “Nathan, I don’t care who you sleep with, so long as it doesn’t affect your work here or out on the court, okay?”
I nod, feeling like a little kid being chastised.
He leaves, closing the door behind him and I pounce on my phone to see Evan’s reply.
I don’t finish till 11
That’s ok
I wait for a reply, staring at the phone.
You know the warehouse off Applegate? Behind the golf course?
I know it, I’ll see you there.
I consider putting some sort of emoji on the end, like a kissy face or something, but decide against it at the last second.
I’ve got hours until I can meet Evan. It gives me more than enough time to imagine what’s going to happen when the time comes.
I’ll be happy to do exactly what we did last night, only this time, I want to repay the favor.
Watch Evan come apart for me. Watch that wall he’s built up over the past five years melt away.
I leave a half hour early and sit outside the warehouse in my car. I couldn’t decide on a playlist to listen to so I just have the radio playing quietly in the background. I’m not listening to it anyway.
The second I see people start to leave the building, I sit forward in my seat, then realize I should try and look natural and relax.
Evan comes out after a group of tired-looking guys in beanies and big coats. It’s warm out, but it must be cold in the warehouse.
Evan’s wearing a bubble coat, no hat, his shaved head on display. A pair of slouchy work pants and bulky black boots.
A fire burns in the pit of my stomach at the sight of him. I’m suddenly ashamed of my pine-scented SUV. The labels in my clothes. The cleanness of my sneakers. The fact I’ve never done a day’s hard labor in my life outside of shirtless charity car washes on Greek Row.
Evan’s gaze flickers to mine quickly before flickering away again.
He opens the passenger side door and climbs in.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Shall we go to your place?”
“No. My ma’s there.”
“I know that, but your mom likes me.” I try for a charming smile, but Evan isn’t even looking at me.
“I thought you wanted to.…” he trails off.
“I do,” I reply in a small voice. “But I wanna hang out with you too.”
He glances at the backseat.
“Drive down West Ave. I know a place.”
My mouth is dry as I start the car. This isn’t what I want. Is it? Not like this. I drive anyway, doing as he says. He’s quiet, like he’s a stranger. If I’d thought what happened between us would bring us closer, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
The radio is mostly talking now. Neither of us are listening. My leg bouncing nervously while I drive. Evan’s completely still, like he’s checked out.
The river’s coming up on our right. The big houses surrounding the golf course and those big tanks of oil we used to make stories up about when we were kids.
I stop the car behind a pickup truck, a security gate with barbed wire surrounding a construction site.
“Not here,” Evan says. “A little farther up.”
“Evan, we should talk.”
He won’t look at me.
“I don’t want it like this, not with you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I don’t want to fuck in the back of my car.”
He looks at me now, his eyes are dark, like he’s hidden from me.
“Why not? You were okay with it on the beach.”
“That just happened. Ev, I don’t know what’s going on here, and I’m confused as hell, but I know that this feels wrong. I’d rather go home and talk. You’re completely checked out from me right now and I hate it.”
He clenches his jaw. I think he’s going to snap, say something, tell me I don’t belong here anymore, or I don’t know who he is now.
His eyes soften. He sinks back into the chair.
“We can’t go to my place. It’s late, we’ll wake my ma and Stacie up.”
“Okay, so let’s stay here, let’s talk.”
“About what?”
I unfasten my seatbelt. “About anything.” I shrug.
He looks straight ahead, out of the windshield, his seatbelt still firmly in place.
“Tell me about what you said on the beach.”
“Which part?”
“The men.”
His jaw clenches again. “No.”
“Why not?”
He just shakes his head.
“Okay, so let’s talk about your dad.”
“Jesus Christ, Nate.”
“What?”
“No, not that.”
“Okay. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t … ” He runs a hand over his face. “Don’t apologize, just … lay off a little, yeah?”
“Okay.”
“Why don’t you tell me something?” he says.
“Shoot.”
“Since when were you into guys?”
“I told you, I’m only into you.”
He snorts, finally looking at me. “That’s not a thing.”
I shrug. “What do you want me to tell you? I’m not going to lie. I’ve never looked at another guy the way I look at you.”
He glances down at his legs in his work pants, a frown ghosting his face. If he asks me why, I don’t know what I’ll say.
“You told me you watched gay porn and got off to it,” he says instead. “So you must be into guys other than me.”
“That was just sex.”
“So was what I did with those guys.”
“But not me?”
He doesn’t answer.
“Did you think about me like that when we were growing up together?”
One side of his mouth twitches in a smile. “I might have rubbed one or two out over you, sure.”
My cock twitches under my chinos.
When he looks at me I think I’m going to melt.
“Me too,” I practically whisper.
He licks his lips. “Sure you don’t wanna fuck in the back of your car?”
I reach across the gearstick and put my hand over his.
“I told you, not here,” he says.
“No, listen, my mom and Bryce are going to the Bahamas. I’ve got tennis matches all weekend. But after that, maybe you could come over.”
My face is so hot, I think it’s going to set on fire. I can hear Evan breathing in the confined space of the car. I catch the scent coming off his work clothes. Something unfamiliar. It’s a cold smell and reminds me of sawdust and damp cardboard. He wraps his fingers around mine.
“Maybe.”
When I look up, he’s smiling.
I lean in and kiss him. He lets me, for a minute, before pulling away.
“They’ve got cameras here.”
“So what? We’re not doing anything illegal.”
“Actually, you shouldn’t be parked here.”
“What are you? The traffic police?”
“Nate Castellani’s a badass now.”
I love the way my name sounds coming from his mouth—my real name.
I can’t stop myself from kissing him again.
I trace the shape of his lips with mine.
That bow shape his top lip makes. I can taste cigarettes and coffee on his tongue.
And I can feel his hunger in the kiss. In the way he puts his hand on the back of my head and keeps me there, fingers gripping my hair.
I’m breathless when I pull away. “We should have done this years ago.”
“Nah.”
“Why not?”
“Because, I would have been even more pissed when you moved away.”
“I’m sor-”
“Shut the fuck up, Nate.” He kisses me to stop me from saying anything stupid.
The kiss gets more heated, until he’s guiding me over the gearstick into his lap. It’s a tight squeeze, my ass pressed against the dashboard.
“I thought you said-”
“Shut up, Nate.”
I grind against him, feeling how hard he is under his work pants.
He pulls away.
“You’re gonna drive to the place and we’re gonna give each other a hand job exactly like this, okay?”
I nod.
“No one’s fucking in your backseat. Is that a good compromise?”
“That sounds reasonable.”
He smirks, giving my ass a squeeze through my chinos. “Hurry up.”
I climb awkwardly back into the driver’s seat, banging my knee on the dashboard.
Evan’s running his hand over his head while I back out from behind the pickup truck.
The spot he tells me to park at is under the cover of a patch of trees by the jetty.
“Sure there’s no cameras here?”
“I’m sure.”
I wish I hadn’t asked when I realize how he knows this. How many men has he been with here and places like it? I remind myself I have no right to be jealous. I wasn’t there.
This time, when I switch off the engine, he unclicks his belt and waits for me to climb into his lap.
It feels wild, but not weird. I’ve never done anything like this in a car before. Mira would have hit me with her purse if I tried to get fresh with her anywhere other than her dorm room.
I feel completely out of control. Even if I’m the one driving the situation. Evan’s trapped under my body, letting me grind against him. His hands coming from my hips to my ass as he pushes his hips up to meet mine.
I kiss him, hard and desperate, gripping the back of the headrest while I grind my cock against his.
Evan pulls back with some effort.
“Fuck, Nate.”
He grips my hard-on through my chinos and I whine. Evan’s lips find my neck as he unzips my pants, sliding his hand under the fabric, his fingertips stroking over the wet patch in my boxer briefs. I groan against his neck while I grind against him.
He guides me up, my feet finding purchase on the side of the seat so Evan can pull my pants and underwear down.
I know he’s seen my cock, last night on the beach.
He watched me come all over myself. But this feels different.
The light from the dashboard and the jetty expose me more than the moonlight on the beach did.
I know he must be able to smell me the way I smell him, without the masking of salt water and sand and musty seaweed.
I almost pull a muscle trying to get my pants down past my knees.
“Argh, fuck. I can’t get them off.”
Evan laughs. “You’re gonna have to start wearing skirts with nothing underneath.”
My face flushes.
“I’m just kidding, Nate.”
“Can we get out?”
I start pulling my pants up and he gets the wrong idea.
“Yeah, sure, we don’t have to-”