Chapter 24 The Walk Home
Sophia knew she had stayed too late at the library before Victoria texted.
The building had emptied around her in stages, and one more paragraph had turned into one more page, then one more attempt not to think about Vinny working under probation.
She packed, chose the better-lit route past Bella Luna, and kept one hand near the pepper spray Constance had made her practice using when she started college.
The street was normal enough: a couple sharing earbuds, a delivery bike, two girls laughing with a bakery bag.
Then footsteps settled behind her and kept the same pace after she crossed the street.
At the pharmacy window, the reflection showed a tall figure in a dark jacket keeping distance behind her.
Sophia turned fast, pepper spray in hand.
“Back off.”
The figure stopped. Vinny raised both hands. Sophia stared at him. For one second, relief hit so hard her knees almost loosened. Then anger came right behind it.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Vinny’s face changed. “Soph—”
“No.” She kept the pepper spray in her hand. “Don’t ‘Soph’ me right now.”
He shut his mouth. Fair. He stood six feet away on the sidewalk, both hands still raised.
His hair was a mess, like he had been dragging his hands through it.
He wore his dark jacket over a Bella Luna shirt, which meant he had probably come from work or gone near there after work.
His face was pale under the streetlight.
Sophia lowered the pepper spray slightly but didn’t put it away.
“You followed me?”
“I was making sure you got home.”
The answer came too fast. Wrong answer. His face said he knew it the second he heard himself.
Sophia let out a sharp laugh. “Are you serious?”
“I know. I know it sounds bad.”
“It doesn’t sound bad. It is bad.”
He dropped his hands slowly. “You’re right.”
“I told you no walking me home. No waiting after shifts. No doing this.”
“I know.”
“Do you? Because you are here.”
Vinny looked down at the sidewalk. A car passed.
Its headlights moved over both of them and then left them in the yellow light again.
Sophia’s hands shook now, but not from fear anymore.
She shoved the pepper spray back into the outside pocket before she accidentally sprayed the man she was furious with and still cared about too much.
“Were you at the library?” she asked.
“No.”
“Then how did you know where I was?”
He rubbed one hand over the back of his neck. “Victoria texted Gia that you were still there. Gia said it out loud at work because she thought I was in the walk-in.”
Sophia closed her eyes for half a second. Bella Luna information moved like steam. It got everywhere.
Vinny kept talking, steady and miserable. “I didn’t ask her. I swear. I heard it, and I finished my station, and then I left. I told myself I was only going to walk the same route. Not talk to you or bother you. Just stay back until you got home.”
Sophia stared at him. “That is worse.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.” His voice cracked a little. “I do now.”
She folded her arms, mostly because she needed something to do with her hands. “This is exactly what I meant.”
“I know.”
“No, Vinny. I need you to actually hear me. I was walking home alone like I asked. Then I thought someone was following me. I was ready to pepper-spray you.”
His face went tight.
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to be sorry because I got scared. I want you to understand that you made the choice for me again. You decided your worry mattered more than what I asked.”
He nodded once. No argument. Still, she wasn’t done.
“You didn’t come out of the kitchen this time, but it is the same thing. You saw a situation, decided I needed protecting, and acted before asking me. Again.”
“I know.”
Sophia shook her head. “You keep saying that.”
“Because I do.”
“Then why are we here?”
He took that without looking away. For a few seconds, he didn’t answer.
The bakery behind him was closed, chairs flipped on tables inside.
A woman walking a modest dog crossed to the other side of the street, glanced at them, then kept moving.
Vinny put both hands into his jacket pockets, not like he was hiding them. Like he was keeping himself still.
“I got scared,” he said.
Sophia almost answered, So did I. She didn’t.
Vinny continued, quieter. “I heard you were leaving late. I knew you would probably take the lit streets. I knew you knew what you were doing. I knew I should stay at work or go home. I knew all that, and I still kept thinking about something happening to you.”
“So you followed me.”
“Yes.”
“And somehow that made sense to you?”
“In my head, I was keeping distance. I thought if you never knew, then it wasn’t me taking over.”
Sophia stared at him.
He winced. “I know.”
“That is very stupid.”
“Yeah.”
“And creepy.”
“I know.”
“And if any man besides you did that to me, you would lose your mind.”
His jaw tightened. “Yes.”
“So why is it all right because it was you?”
“It’s not.”
The answer came plain. No excuse attached. Sophia’s anger had nowhere to hit for a second, and that almost made her angrier.
Vinny looked past her, then back. “Can I tell you something without it being an excuse?”
Sophia breathed in slowly. Part of her wanted to say no. Part of her wanted to walk away and let him stand there with his bad decisions and his sad eyes and his hands in his pockets. But this was the first time he had asked before trying to explain. For once, he asked before explaining. A little.
“You can tell me,” she said. “But if it turns into you explaining why you had to do it, I’m leaving.”
“All right.”
He nodded, then looked down at the sidewalk again. His shoe nudged a crack in the concrete, stopped, then moved back.
“When my dad died, everyone kept saying I was the man of the house now.”
Sophia’s chest tightened despite herself. Vinny didn’t look at her while he said it.
“I was fourteen. Anna and Mary were little. My mom was working, grieving, trying to keep everything normal. People said it like it was nice. Like it was a compliment. Like it meant I was strong.” He let out a breath. “I believed them.”
Sophia stayed calm.
“I started checking locks. Walking my sisters places. Making sure my mom’s car started. Carrying groceries. Watching who came to the door. If Anna cried, I tried to fix it. If Mary got scared, I stood in front of her. If my mom looked tired, I cooked or cleaned or acted like I wasn’t scared too.”
His face twisted for a second, then he got it under control.
“I got skilled at moving before anyone had to ask.”
Sophia’s anger didn’t go away, but now it had to sit beside the rest of him. The fourteen-year-old boy. The sisters. The locks. The silent kitchen at home. It annoyed her that she could understand him and still be furious.
Vinny finally looked at her. “I know you aren’t my mom or my sisters.”
“I am definitely not.”
His mouth almost moved, but it wasn’t quite a smile.
“I know you’re not weak. I know you can walk home. I know you can handle your life. I know you had pepper spray ready before I even opened my mouth.” He glanced at her bag. “I am very aware of that now.”
Sophia didn’t laugh, almost.
He swallowed. “But when I care about someone, my body moves before my brain catches up. That isn’t your fault. It is mine. And it doesn’t give me permission.”
Sophia’s eyes stung, and she hated that too.
“Then why didn’t you stop?”
“I wanted to be the kind of man who could.”
The answer was soft. Plain. It hit harder because he didn’t dress it up.
He looked at her directly. “I wasn’t tonight.”
Sophia looked down the street. Bella Luna was two blocks away. Her apartment was three blocks in the other direction. She could still walk home. She should walk home. But she stayed there.
“Do you think I don’t want to be taken care of?” she asked.
Vinny’s face changed. “No.”
“Because sometimes it feels like you think if I say no to being protected, I’m saying I don’t want you.”
“No.” He took half a step forward, then stopped himself. “No, I don’t think that.”
Sophia’s voice shook, and she hated it, but she kept going. “I do want you. That is the whole problem. I want you, and I want to still feel like myself. I want you to love me without taking every hard thing out of my hands.”
“I know.”
She gave him a look. He corrected himself fast.
“I’m learning. I mean I’m trying to learn it right.”
“You don’t get points for wanting to help if you ignore what I asked.”
“I know.”
“Vinny.”
“I’m not just saying it.” He pulled one hand from his pocket, then put it back again. “I followed you tonight. That means I still didn’t get it all the way. I thought because I wasn’t talking to you, it counted as space. It didn’t. I broke the rule.”
“Yes.”
“I scared you.”
“Yes.”
“I made you feel like I still didn’t trust you.”
Sophia swallowed. “Yes.”
His eyes reddened.
“I’m sorry.”
She believed him. That wasn’t the same as being ready. A window opened above them. Both of them looked up. An older woman leaned halfway out from the second floor of the building beside the bakery, hair in rollers, robe pulled tight around her.
“It is ten o’clock,” she called down. “Some of us have knees and need sleep.”
Sophia blinked.
Vinny looked up. “Sorry, ma’am.”
The woman narrowed her eyes. “Are you bothering her?”
Vinny opened his mouth.
Sophia answered first. “Not exactly.”
The woman’s expression didn’t improve. “That isn’t a right answer.”
“No, ma’am,” Sophia said.
Vinny looked like he wanted the sidewalk to open.
The woman pointed at him. “If she says leave, leave.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Vinny said immediately.
She looked at Sophia. “You have pepper spray?”
Sophia’s face warmed. “Yes.”
“Fine.”