Chapter Eight
Leo
Heat licks up the back of my neck as I step into the mall. I adjust the messenger bag on my shoulder, wrapping one of my hands around the strap and holding on so tightly my knuckles turn white. Everything at the mall is overwhelming today; the scents, the noises, the people.
For some reason, I feel all over the place. My instincts are on high-alert, my body feeling foreign. Everything is too much but at the same time, I’m restless.
Last night, I slept in my nest for the first time and the only reason I left it today is because I promised Jin I would come see him. That restlessness fades the closer I get to the coffee stand. The moment I pick up his scent, the hollowed out feeling inside my chest goes away.
Gods, I am so gone on this guy it’s ridiculous.
I get in line, watching as Jin talks to customers and makes coffees.
Watching him grin for someone that’s not me leaves me feeling wrong.
I’m not a jealous person, but right now I want to hide Jin away.
I want to cover him in my scent so everyone with a pheromone-based nose like me will know he belongs to me.
I want to cover his skin in bites and hickies.
Jesus fucking Christ. What the hell is wrong with me?
I cover my face with my hands, doing my best to calm my racing heart. If I thought my instincts were fucked before, they’re going into overdrive now and I have no idea why. Sure, I have a crush on Jin, that part is obvious, but I’ve never felt like this before!
I’ve never been ruled by my secondary gender.
Sure, there are things that pop up that are kind of annoying, and sometimes my instincts make me do silly things, but even so, they’ve been easy to ignore.
I’ve never been compelled to do something that I didn’t feel like doing and they’ve been easy to push to the side if they made my life inconvenient.
This though? These feelings around Jin? They are getting harder and harder to ignore.
Finally, it’s my turn in line. Jin sees me and his face spreads into a giant grin, one that’s completely different than the ones he’s been giving to all the other customers. Something inside of me soothes and I feel all the muscles in my body relax all at once.
“Leo! It’s so good to see you! I wish it wasn’t so busy so that I could step away and talk to you.”
“That’s okay,” I say right away. I bite my bottom lip before letting my silly instincts take over.
I reach towards him, pretending like I’m going to push some hair away from his face but instead, I run my wrist against the side of his neck.
My face is bright red but I don’t care. I need him to smell like me.
I need to scent mark him or I’ll leave the mall feeling wrong.
“Maybe I’ll have a wander around the mall and then come back when it’s less busy. ”
Jin’s face brightens, completely unphased by my scent marking. “I would love that!”
“You know,” someone says from behind me, startling me. I turn around, finding Fawksy behind me. She’s a tanuki who works with Bren. “Bren is over at the candy shop. I bet he’d love for you to stop and say hi to him.”
“Hi, Fawksy! I think that’s a perfect plan, thank you.”
Her eyes, which are incredibly fox-like behind her glasses, despite her other half being a skunk, stare at me and I feel like she can see straight into my soul, reading my every intention. She’s always been like this, seeing through everyone’s bullshit.
Instead of letting her say anything else and exposing me completely, I turn back towards Jin.
“I have something for you. Can I put it in your bag before I forget?”
“You didn’t have to get me anything! My bag is over there,” he says, pointing to the corner of the coffee stand. “You can put whatever you want in there while I make your coffee.”
I look at the sign by the register. “I’ll take the sugar cookie latte, but can I have it iced please? I’m way too hot today.”
“Of course, Leo. Anything you’d like,” he says, giving me a little wink that sends even more heat down the back of my neck.
I quickly pay and head over to the side of the coffee stand. While Jin isn’t looking, I shove a pack of his favorite cookies into his bag. For some reason, I want to shower him in gifts. I want to give him his favorite foods. I want to snuggle with him in my nest.
That last thought makes me freeze, my hand buried in his bag.
Shit. I want him in my nest with me? I’ve never allowed anyone into my nest, not even Bren, my closest friend. Sure, I have other people’s scents in my nest, people who bring me comfort, but never have I allowed anyone else to enter my nest. It’s a sacred place for me and me alone.
Until now apparently.
My fingers touch Jin’s scarf and before I know what I’m doing, I’m snatching it up and shoving it into my own bag. As I stand up, Fawksy is staring at me, raising her brow when she catches my eye.
I’ve been caught red-handed.
“Here you go,” Jin says, handing me my iced latte. “I hope you like it.”
“You made it, so I’m sure I’ll love it,” I say, meaning every word. He gives me that signature grin before walking over to Fawksy.
“Do you want your regular?”
“Yes, please,” she says, already handing Jin her money. “You know, Jin,” she says slowly, looking over at me before continuing. “You smell different these days.”
Jin quirks an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“As you know, some of us can smell things other people can’t. I can smell that you’re happier.”
“Oh,” he says softly, his cheeks turning red. “That’s umm, that’s good. I am happier.”
“Hmm,” Fawksy hums. “You also smell like someone else. That’s really interesting, don’t you think?”
Jin rubs the back of his neck, suddenly looking shy. I’ve known him for a while now and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look shy. Is it because he’s embarrassed? Is it because there’s someone else making him so happy and he doesn’t want me to hear?
Oh gods, I can’t do this. I can’t hear this.
Jin turns and looks at me, giving me a soft, tiny smile. Then he turns back to Fawksy. “Yeah,” he says with a grin. “Someone in my life has been making me really happy. It’s kinda weird but also nice that you noticed.”
“It is weird, isn’t it,” she says with a smirk before moving out of the way and heading to the other end of the counter to wait for her drink.
I’m left feeling untethered as I finally walk away, wandering over towards the candy shop.
My emotions are all over the place. I run my hands through my hair, making it stand up at weird angles even worse than usual.
I have no idea what to do, only that I want Jin in such a fierce way.
It’s terrifying, the degree with which I want him.
As I step into The Devil’s Sweet Tooth, I barely register that I’ve arrived. It’s not until strong hands grab my shoulders that I finally look up.
“Hey,” Bren says softly, cataloging my face. “Are you good?”
“I’m peachy,” I tell him, finally taking a sip of my latte. It’s sweet and tasty and my insides turn all mushy when I remember that Jin made this for me. My inner omega is squealing with delight.
Bren hums, pulling me deeper into the store until we’re walking into the employee only area. Andras follows behind, sitting on the table, swinging his feet back and forth as he watches us.
“Why do you smell weird? Can I scent you?”
“Go ahead,” I say, holding up my wrist for him. He breathes deeply before his eyes widen.
“Uhh,” he so helpfully says. “Why are you at the mall when you’re in your pre-heat?”
“I’m sorry, my what now? My huh? Nah, it sounded like you just said I’m in pre-heat, but I must have heard you wrong.”
“Leo,” Bren says with a deep sigh. “You heard what I said! Don’t be an ass!”
“I’m not being an ass! I think I would know if I was about to go into a heat!”
“Would you really? Because I’m pretty sure it’s been like forever and a half since you’ve had a heat. Not since we were on our first life cycle!”
I sit back in my chair, staring at my latte.
Fuck. Is Bren right? I remember having my first one when I went through puberty but then I never had another one.
There’s been comfort heats, when my body forced me to take a break and sit in my nest, finding comfort in the scents around me.
Instead of working myself into burnout, my body forced me to take a break.
I’ve never been through a mating heat though.
“Shit,” I say, realization hitting me like a truck. “Fuck. Shit. Ass. Balls. No, this cannot be happening.”
“Have you been nesting without realizing it?”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” I murmur, burying my face in my hands.
Andras clears his throat. “May I jump in?”
I part my fingers, glaring up at him. He holds up his hands in surrender.
“I mean this with all the love and respect in the world. It’s just, you two kinda suck at this.”
I let out a deep growl which lands a cuff against the back of my head from Bren. Right. Don’t growl at someone’s mate even if they’re being an ass while I’m in pre-heat. Can I really be blamed here?
“We suck at what?”
“So, Bren never told me he was a phoenix until after he regenerated. And then he went into a rut because his body was younger and assumed I was his mate. You remember,” he says softly, smiling over at his mate.
“Right,” I say slowly. “His body knew and went into rut to secure you as his mate. I’m following you so far.”
Andras and Bren share a look before they both look at me, like somehow I’m supposed to be putting pieces of a puzzle together. When I don’t say anything, Bren smacks my shoulder.
“Stop beating me up! I’m a poor omega who’s in pre-heat! You’re supposed to be giving me your sweater and being nice to me!”
“Shit,” Bren says. “You can have my coat and scarf when you leave but you have to promise to give it back!”
“I will!”