Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Johannes
‘What’s this?’ I ask, as a photo pings into my WhatsApp messages from Nils. We’re sitting together in the bar of our hotel in Singapore, scrolling on social media and making plans for our time here.
‘Open it and look,’ Nils replies before grabbing his beer bottle to take a swig.
The two weeks Caleb and I had off before flying to Singapore weren’t enough.
Caleb was really busy with the team, and then Nils and I skied for five days, and then the second Caleb was free, my agent bulked out my schedule with sponsorship meetings and photoshoots and a bunch of charity work.
None of it I was unhappy to do, but it meant Caleb and I couldn’t get away together like we planned.
In the end, we managed a single night in my penthouse in London and that was it.
One measly night that was never going to satisfy my desperate need to spend time with him.
The next morning, we met Nils at an airstrip and the three of us boarded a private plane to Singapore.
It’s not something I do very often. Normally I’m more than happy to fly commercial, but I wanted to be able to relax with Caleb and not worry about fans on the plane or having to be less handsy with the cabin crew around.
Nils was in London for the same shoot I was, so it was easier to just bring him with us.
I open the picture and there’s me and Caleb, fast asleep on the plane, trying our best to be wrapped up in each other.
I want to be slightly perturbed that Nils was taking pictures of us while we were asleep, but it’s too cute to be annoyed at him for.
We both look so content, our faces smushed into a shared pillow, blanket only half covering us because it was definitely only made for one person.
‘You’re welcome.’ Nils laughs, and I realise that I’ve been staring at the photo for way too long without saying anything.
‘I appreciate it, but I thought you were asleep for the whole flight?’
‘Eh, I got up to piss at some point and couldn’t help myself.’
Well, that’s a relief. We had checked he was sound asleep beforehand, but neither of us could resist getting a bit handsy on the plane. Not something I wanted Nils to hear or see, but I couldn’t stop myself.
‘Don’t worry, if you pair joined the mile high club I didn’t hear or see a thing.’
‘Joined,’ I scoff. ‘Kiddo, you don’t know me if you think that was the first time.’
‘Ewwww! You did get off while I was asleep right in front of you! I hate you.’ He fake-gags, but then he’s smiling and I know he’s happy that we’re happy.
I ruffle his hair, before returning to look at the photo, the beer I’m meant to be drinking with him forgotten about.
Caleb and I look so right together, it’s actually ridiculous.
I have no idea how we’re going to keep this hidden until the off season when we’ve decided we’ll speak to management about our relationship.
‘Guess who.’ A pair of hands covers my eyes but I don’t have to spend more than half a second thinking about it. I know that voice like I know my own name.
‘Nils, is there an annoying fucker from Hendersohm behind me?’
‘Afraid so,’ he confirms and Harper smacks the side of my cheek as he pulls his hands away.
‘Can I steal my best friend?’ Harper asks Nils, moving round to stand in front of our booth. He’s dressed in grey sweats and a white T-shirt, so I can’t imagine where he’s stealing me away to.
‘Absolutely, I just found out he had sex on the plane right in front of me while I was asleep. So please, take his disgusting ass away.’
Harper raises an eyebrow, like he’s trying to work out what the issue is, but I just shake my head.
‘Perfect, come on Jojo.’ He holds out a hand and I use it to hop down from the booth, but he doesn’t let go as we walk towards the hotel lift. ‘Which floor?’
‘You know you’re a married man, right?’
‘Oh yeah, because this is me seducing you. In sweats and at the hotel both our teams are staying in.’
‘You’re leading me to my hotel room, man.’
‘To have some quality time with my best friend, dickhead. I don’t need your actual dick anymore, although I am glad to hear you’re finally getting some. Even if you are traumatising Nils.’ I can’t help but laugh at that. I should probably feel sorrier than I do for the guy.
‘Movie and room service,’ he suggests as we enter my room, slipping off his shoes before throwing himself down on to my bed, quickly getting comfy.
‘Sounds good to me, let me go slip into something comfy and I’ll be with you. Order what you want.’
I grab a pair of sweat shorts and a vest and slip into the bathroom, washing my face quickly before throwing on my comfy clothes. Harper’s just hanging up when I leave the bathroom and I dread to think about how much he’s just charged to my card, but it’s worth it to get this quality time together.
‘They said food won’t be for forty-five minutes as they’re really busy tonight, but they have Disney Plus on this tv so I thought we’d watch Iron Man.
’ Because why would we watch anything new when we could just binge the Avengers series again like we used to do at sleepovers when we were fifteen?
He fires up the first film and I get comfy on the bed next to him.
‘I’m glad you took my advice,’ he says, referring to Caleb.
‘Thank you,’ I say. ‘For what you said in Monza. I needed to hear it, and I wouldn’t have listened to it from anyone but you.’
‘I love you, JoJo. You know that. I’m glad you’re back to yourself again, even though you keep pushing me off the top spot.
’ He punches me lightly and I punch him back.
Not everyone is so lucky to have a friend like Harper in their life.
‘I just wish you’d tell me what was going on and why you wouldn’t talk to me about it. ’
‘Harp, I…’
‘What? What’s so fucking awful that you can’t tell me? Me. Your best friend.’
‘It’s complicated.’
‘Oh, fuck off. There’s no such thing when it comes to you and me.’
‘I…’
‘You really hurt me,’ he says quietly. I still and turn to face him.
‘I’m sorry, Harp. I just … couldn’t. I can’t.’
I feel him pull away from me a little. I’m not sure if it’s a physical action or if it’s a kind of invisible barrier he puts up between us, but either way it breaks my heart. And I’ve had enough of heartbreak.
I take a deep breath. ‘Harp?’
‘Yeah…?’
‘If I tell you something, will you promise to listen and to trust me and not ask any questions?’
‘Jo, what’s going on?’
‘Promise me, Harp.’
‘Okay, okay, I promise.’
‘It’s not in your best interests to know what was going on with me.
’ If I tell him that the knowledge would put him in an impossible position then it won’t take him long to work it out and that would defeat the purpose.
‘Believe me when I tell you that I would have shared every part of it with you if I could have. I wanted to, a hundred times. A thousand. It’s not because I don’t trust you and it’s not because I’m ashamed of anything and it’s nothing you’ve done or not done.
Just know that I’ve put it behind me now and I’m happy with Caleb, thanks to you. ’
‘Does it have anything to do with why you bailed on dinner in Zandvoort?’ he asks suspiciously.
‘I said no questions.’
‘I just don’t want us to drift apart again, and after Zandvoort I was worried we were heading back there.’
‘Absolutely not. No drifting. But please don’t ask me anything else, Harp. I promise I’ll tell you one day.’
He eyes me sceptically. I can tell he’s not satisfied but I hope he’ll let it go for now.
‘If you want, we can talk about how hot my new boyfriend is?’ I offer.
I nudge him but eventually he plays along.
‘Is it someone I know?’ he jokes.
‘He’s so fucking hot.’
‘He actually is. Okay,’ he says with a sigh. ‘Tell me everything.’
I get out my phone so I can scroll though the endless reel of pictures me and Caleb have taken together.
When the food arrives, we chow down, talking about everything except racing, from the date ideas I have for Caleb this week to the horses that Kian and his brother-in-law, Grant, are going to look at this weekend.
I polish off a steak with asparagus and broccoli and we split a bottle of wine. It’s the tamest night we’ve ever experienced together, but I’m here for it. I hate to say it, but we’re growing up.
‘I’m not kidding, I’m worried that the next time I go home there’ll be some kind of animal in our bed. Kian needs reining in, but it’s hard to do from the other side of the world.’ Never did I imagine it would be my best friend having to do the reining in, not the other way around.
‘I love that this is your man’s life now, though! I never saw it coming, but it fits Kian perfectly.’
The film ends and Harper’s yawning his head off. ‘Also, you can’t stay the night,’ I say, and he pouts before his eyes light up.
‘Ohhh, your man’s coming over to dick you down. I get it, hoes before bros. Sure, sure, when I can only get cyber dick right now.’
‘Oh boo-hoo, your married ass isn’t getting any right now. Let me enjoy this. You’ll be home before you know it, and you can bug the life out of Kian for all the dick in the world.’
‘I can’t wait.’ And he means it. His whole face softens at the mention of Kian and it’s literally adorable – but also makes my heart flip because now I’m thinking about what Caleb and I can get up to over winter break.
‘You’ll come and stay won’t you?’ Harper adds.
‘See all the improvements Kian’s made since summer break.
We’d love to host you both. Can I tell Kian? Please say I can. He’ll be so excited.’
‘Yeah, of course. I wouldn’t expect you to ever keep anything from your husband,’ I say pointedly. ‘I’ll talk to Caleb, but I can’t see why we wouldn’t be there.’ God, I hope we’re still doing this at winter break. I hope we’re still doing this for a really long time.
The movie credits are hardly even rolling when I push Harper out of bed.
‘You used to be fun and now you have a boyfriend you don’t love me anymore,’ he whines.
‘Go FaceTime your husband,’ I say. He pouts again, but I lob one of his trainers at him, which he ducks and it smacks straight into the hotel room wall.
Luckily, he gets the message and slips into his trainers and with a kiss to my forehead disappears towards the hotel lift.
No longer than five minutes later there’s a knock at the door, and there’s my Caleb.
‘Perfect timing. I finally turfed Harps out. He was gutted I wasn’t letting him sleep over, but we had a really good night.’
‘Did you talk about me?’ he asks with an eyeroll.
‘Obviously,’ I say.
‘Should I be expecting you down on one knee soon, then?’
‘Not with that attitude. It would be an honour if you got to marry me.’ I can’t even believe that just a month into our relationship we’re joking about marriage. Shit, I’m already in so deep with this man, and while it’s daunting, I’m not scared of falling for Caleb. He’s not Jackson. He isn’t.
He slips off his shoes and jacket, folding it over the desk chair and then quickly strips down to just his boxers before climbing into bed.
I follow suit until I’m left in just my underwear and slide in next to him.
I open an arm for him to snuggle in next to me and he does so after flipping off the light next to the bed.
It hits me suddenly that he’s here for the night.
To sleep. Not for sex. This isn’t a booty call, though maybe I’ll wake him with a blow job.
But this is purely so we can hold each other tonight and wake up to each other in the morning.
It shouldn’t be such a wild concept, but it is, and at the same time I feel perfectly content.
We fall asleep together, his head still on my chest, our bodies snuggled up tight together.