25. Treading Water #2
The moonlight gave Jake the opportunity to watch Robbie’s face. His brows dropped slightly, shadowing his dull eyes. Confusion was replaced by dawning horror as his lips parted and he exhaled a breath akin to a death rattle.
“No,” he said. “Tell me you’re joking.”
Jake shook his head. “I wish I were. Did you…”
“No.” That single word was so firm, so resolute, Jake knew Robbie was telling the truth. “I had no idea. We haven’t been speaking much, my parents and I—even less than usual. I’m so sorry, Jake. I would’ve warned you and Isabel if I’d known.”
“It’s okay. She’s not selling to them, obviously. It was just a punch to the gut to hear their names in that context. Aunt Isabel was the one who wanted me to ask you, actually. I hope you don’t mind.”
“You know I don’t.” Robbie’s eyes brightened, and he took a step forward. “How have you been? Besides this business with my parents, I mean.”
“Good,” Jake lied. “I’m leaving soon.”
“I suspected as much. Where are you going? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, of course.”
“Nah, it’s all good.” Jake waved his hand, hoping Robbie wouldn’t catch how stiff the movement was. “I’m moving into my sister’s apartment for a little bit while I look for a new job. Actually, Isabel’s going to be joining us when the house eventually sells. It’ll be just like it is now.”
“Fun. I’m sure Alex is looking forward to that.”
“She is. I’m sure she’ll already have a ton planned for us to do by the time I actually get there. What, uh, what about you? You been good?” The sky rumbled above them, and they both glanced up. “That sounds ominous.”
“I saw your car in the parking lot. Maybe we should…”
“I don’t know, Robbie. I don’t think you want to be trapped in a car with me at this point.”
“Right. Forget I said anything and just pray it doesn’t start pouring on us.”
Jake took a deep breath. He didn’t want to keep being angry at Robbie. The poor man was barely squeaking by in life as it was. “So, when is the cafe supposed to open? I saw the coming soon banner out front, but there’s no date.”
“By Christmas,” Robbie said.
“That’s a tall order.”
“Yeah, well, that’s their favorite thing: simultaneously beating and falling short of everyone’s expectations.
“And you’re still gonna be running the place?”
Robbie shifted uncomfortably. “That’s the plan.”
“You must be looking forward to getting back to work.”
“I suppose so. It will occupy my mind, at least.”
“If you’re lucky, you won’t even miss me.” Jake tried to chuckle, but the sound died out before it could even escape his mouth.
“Let’s hope so.” The sky rumbled again, and Robbie sighed. “I’ll see you around, Jake. Or not. We did a pretty good job of avoiding each other the past month.”
“And it was fucking exhausting, wasn’t it?” They began to walk back to Jake’s car, the wet sand dragging them down the faster they tried to move. “I’m not upset, truly. Not anymore.”
“But you’re not ready to forgive me yet?”
“How did you know that’s what I was gonna say?”
Robbie smiled slightly. “We know each other too well, Jake. Don’t worry about it. I’ve hated myself enough for both of us this past month. If you never say another word to me after this, it’s still a better ending than before.”
Jake stopped in front of his car. A light drizzle had begun, but the thunder was increasing in frequency, and it was only a matter of time before the full storm came down. “Take care of yourself, Robbie.”
“I will. Good luck in your job search, and please tell Isabel how sorry I am on behalf of my parents. If I thought it would help, I’d talk to them, but…”
“Don’t bother. It’ll only make things worse.” Jake extracted his hand from his pocket and patted Robbie awkwardly on the shoulder. “It’s not too late. You can still leave whenever you want. You just have to buck up and do it.”
He got into his car and started it, immediately turning the windshield wipers on.
Robbie stood there, obscured by the rain drumming on the window, watching Jake go.
Somehow, Jake felt even worse leaving Robbie this time.
Maybe it was because this meeting, painful as it was, had a familiarity to it that punctured his very soul.
Or maybe it was simply that he should have let Robbie go long before now, and pulling him back in just to push him away one more time was cruel to both of them.
It wasn’t fair.
The words filled Jake’s brain and rattled around until his head ached. It wasn’t fair. He’d never fallen in love like this before, and now he was leaving that love behind, battered and broken, because the man he fell in love with was the worst possible person for him.
It was dark and stormy and miserable by the time Jake got back to Isabel’s house.
The lights coming from inside were the only thing keeping him going when he stepped out of the car.
He ran to the front door, pushed it open, and slammed it shut behind him, rain dripping from his hair and jacket onto the mat in the entryway.
“I’m back,” he called.
“Oh, good.” Isabel emerged from the hallway. “I was getting worried about you out in that storm. It wasn’t on the forecast at all. So, what did Robbie say?”
“He had no idea.”
“I didn’t think he would. Ah, well. He’s all right, though?”
Jake cocked his head. “Why did you want me to talk to him, Aunt Isabel? Was it about the house, or was it for some other reason?”
“Why, sweetie, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Go change your clothes; you’re getting water all over the floor and we have another house tour scheduled for tomorrow.”
Jake narrowed his eyes as he walked past Isabel. “It’s not gonna work,” he said. “Robbie and I are way past that.”
“Shoo,” Isabel said, waving him away.
“I mean it.”
“I know you do, but the worst thing you could do right now is leave with a grudge. You’ll never get over it if you do that.”
Jake shook his head. He already missed Robbie, and he didn’t mind admitting it—to himself, if no one else. But their relationship was always going to be complicated, even when it was long buried in the sands of Eventide, nothing but a shadow of a memory that two people once shared.