2.
C AT
I had to admit that interrogating Fish for hours yesterday and then again today had put my mind at ease. There were obviously things he couldn’t disclose about some of his friends' hijinks, but the things he could tell me kept me laughing. I knew that he had avoided answering several of my questions and thought he was smooth when he redirected the conversation. Most people might not have noticed, but after living with Joseph for so long, I could spot an evasion a mile away.
I could tell that Fish respected the men and women who were in charge of my daughters right now, and he felt the same way about the man and woman who would be taking them to live with their family and her huge extended family until the trial was over and it was safe for me to have them with me again.
Last night . . . No, that was three nights ago, wasn’t it? Since we’d been driving the majority of the time and had only stopped now and then so Fish could sleep, time seemed to fly by and stand still at the same time. But the night we had to run from Ajax’s home, whenever that had been, had scared me more than any of the other times I’d had to run because I could feel the tension in the air as the men scrambled to figure out the plan for our escape. When I saw that they were all nervous and on edge, it terrified me, but when I overheard Ajax speaking to the man named Boss, I felt a calm come over me that I never would have expected in a situation like that. He sounded like a man you could go to for help in solving any problem, just like Ajax had turned out to be.
I knew that an outsider looking into the situation would think I must be insane to trust my safety, and, more importantly, my children’s safety, to a bunch of ex-cons, especially since I had no idea what any of them had done to get sent to prison in the first place. However, my father trusted them, or at least the one that he knew - a man named Hammer who lived in Tenillo with Boss and the others. I hadn’t met him, but when I’d spoken to my father the night Ajax helped us escape under the cover of darkness, he had insisted that I would be safe.
And I was. So were my girls. But we weren’t just safe. We had been happy in Ajax’s home. Even though I couldn’t go anywhere with them, he’d done everything in his power to make me comfortable there and to make sure that the girls had everything they needed.
All in all, this tumultuous time in my life gave me the opportunity to make some lifelong friends. Ajax and Sandi would forever be close to my heart, and I considered Toris and Sarge the brothers I had always wished for. God knows they were much more caring and protective than my own half-brothers had ever been. For that matter, all of the people I had met during this fiasco . . . No, I was going to think of it as an adventure from now on. All of the men and women I had met during this adventure were people that I planned to keep in touch with long after it was over.
After a few weeks with a handful of them, and only a couple of days with the rest, I knew that I’d made a family of forever friends. I was happy to know that my girls would grow up with men like these in their corner.
As colorful and crazy as these people were, my daughters’ lives would never lack for love or friendship, and, most of all, they would never have to worry about their safety.
“We’re coming up on Chicago now. Once we get into the city, we’ll be driving straight to the safe house. Do you need me to stop now?”
I shook my head before I answered, “No, I don’t need anything.”
“Are you sure? Last chance,” Fish warned.
“I’m just ready to relax for a while so I can get my head straight before the trial starts. That’s tomorrow, right?”
“Yes. You need to be at the courthouse to meet with the prosecutor at nine o’clock. The trial is supposed to start at ten.” When I didn’t say anything, Fish asked, “Are you nervous?”
“No. I was, but I took your advice and got mad instead. As long as I can hold onto that, I think I’ll be fine.”
“Do you want to FaceTime Jenn and see the girls?”
I looked at the clock on the dash and said, “No. They should be napping right now, so I’ll just send her a text to let me know when they’re up.”
“Okay. Use the burner phone.”
“As if I’m going to use anything else,” I scoffed. “I haven’t had access to my own phone in . . . I’m not even sure where my phone is anymore.”
Fish laughed before he said, “We’ll get you another one as soon as the trial is over. The last thing we need is to give them a way to track you.”
“True,” I said as I picked up the phone that was charging in the cup holder. I shot off a text to Jenn and then put the phone back before I said, “You know, it took a little time to get used to it, but I kind of like not being tethered to my phone.”
“You don’t miss talking to your friends or your family?” Fish asked.
“I don’t have any friends, and my only family is Grammy, who seems to be having the time of her life with your grandmother.”
Fish chuckled before he said, “Bubbe and my great-aunt Dodie are a handful. I’m glad your grandmother is having fun.”
“Me too. She’s been so worried about us, but she’s calmed down considerably since she’s met your family. I guess your grandmother has been singing your praises.”
“She does that.”
“I’ve heard you talk about your sisters and your grandmother, but not your parents.”
“I haven't seen my father since I was a child and my mother is dead.”
“Oh.I’m sorry.”
“I’m not. I know what kind of taste my mother had in men, so I assume that my father was a worthless deadbeat like all of the others. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that in my life.”
“Oh.”
Fish started laughing before he said, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Cat.”
“I just . . . What do you say to that?”
“What’s your father like?” Fish asked.
“Considering he’s one of the most powerful people in the country, it sounds funny to say that he’s a weak man.”
“Really?”
“He’s a slave to his reputation and his wife rules their home with an iron fist. I was the product of an affair, and she hates me for it.”
“It wasn’t your fault!”
“I look just like my mom, so every time she looks at me, she sees the woman who brought commotion and strife to their door. It was quite a scandal, and she’s never let me forget that I was at the center of it.”
“Ajax didn’t tell us anything about your father, but from what you’ve said, I assume he works for the government.”
“He’s a Supreme Court Justice.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Yeah.”
“What does his wife do?”
“Other than make everyone around her miserable, not much really. The kids are just as useless as her, but they can do no wrong in their eyes.”
“Not close to your siblings, huh?”
“They go out of their way to avoid me, and when they can’t, they look down their nose at me like I’m dog shit on the bottom of their expensive Italian shoes.”
“It sounds like they’re complete assholes and you’re better off without them in your life.”
“That’s what I think too.”
“So, when your mom passed away, you went to live with your grandmother? I bet it was good for her to have you around after losing her daughter.”
“Grammy is my father’s mother. She spent her entire career as an attorney in DC, and my grandfather was a state senator before he became governor and then went on to run for president. He didn’t make it on the ballot because he was shot and killed by a spurned lover in a seedy hotel on the wrong side of town, though. The press had a field day, and no matter how hard my father tried to tamp it down, it wouldn’t die. He was livid when he found out that Grammy was the one feeding the press information.”
“Oh, shit!”
“She warned him early on in her marriage that if he ever betrayed her, she’d make his life a living hell. Since he was already dead and she couldn’t fire at that target, she decided to shred his reputation instead.”
“There’s nothing more dangerous than a pissed-off woman.”
“Grammy is a sweetheart until she’s not, but it takes a lot to push her to the limit. Unfortunately, my father has the ability to piss her off by just breathing.”
“But she’s good to you and your kids?”
“I’m the reason his breathing pisses her off. She swears she’ll never be able to understand how he could put his bitch of a wife before one of his children, no matter which side of the sheets I was born on.”
“Good for her. My Bubbe would defend me and my sisters the same way.” We hit the suburbs and traffic started to pick up. I thought that might be why he was suddenly quiet, but then I figured out he’d just been wondering how to word his question when he asked, “Was your mom the lady that was killed during a carjacking?”
“The one where they never found the killer and every witness recanted their statements within a week of her death? Yes. That was my mom.”
“I’m sorry, Cat.”
“I’m not sure if it was my father that had her killed or if my stepmother was behind it, but they’re both at fault either way.”
“Either he did it or let her do it,” Fish said simply.
“Exactly.”
“And you don’t have any brothers or sisters you can count on?”
“No. Just my half-siblings who can’t stand me.”
“Well, I’ve got five sisters, so if you want to take one or two off my hands, you’re more than welcome.”
“I thought you said you had four.”
“I have a half-sister who I saw a few times when I was a kid but didn’t reconnect with until right before my mom died. The way I see it, we’ve never really met since I barely remember her. But we talked through letters.”
“Really? You’ve never even talked on the phone?”
Fish laughed before he said, “Well, we were incarcerated at the same time, and it’s against the rules for inmates to call each other.”
“Oh.”
“I got a letter from her right before I came to New Orleans. She’s out now and doing really well.”
“Where does she live?”
“She’s in Texas.”
“Hmm. That makes it hard to visit, I guess.”
“Especially since she can’t travel very easily since she’s on parole.”
“Are you on parole?”
“No. I served straight time, so my punishment was complete when I got out.”
“How long were you in prison?”
“Just over seven years.”
“Hmm.”
“Go ahead and ask me.”
“Ask what?”
“You don’t want to know what I was convicted of?”
“Kind of. Okay, yes.”
“I was charged and found not guilty of two counts of murder, but I was convicted of two counts of tampering with evidence after a crime.”
“Did you do it?”
“Tamper with evidence?”
“No. Did you kill two people?”
“A jury of my peers didn’t think there was enough evidence to prosecute me.”
“That was not an answer.”
“It’s the only one you’re gonna get.”
◆◆◆
FISH
When Cat jumped up from the bench where she’d been calmly sitting for hours now, I went on high alert. I stood up, too, and looked around to find the threat, but the only ones moving in the hall were me and my friends, who were also looking around for a threat. The elevator doors had closed a few seconds ago to take a group of people downstairs, but since then the hall had been quiet so we couldn’t figure out what was wrong.
Then I saw the panic in her eyes.
Without giving it a second thought, I walked a few steps toward her and reached out to grip her shoulders before I said, “Talk to me, Cat.”
“What am I doing? I can’t do this! I’m not strong enough to go up against Joseph! He’s got really bad people on his side and I’m nothing like them so I don’t know how to fight them. What if I testify against him and he gets off, or what if he goes to prison and still hires one of his minions to come after me? What if they find me? What if the girls . . .”
Cat was spiraling and I knew I had to stop it somehow but wasn’t sure what to do.
I gently shook her until she looked up at my face and then I leaned forward and touched my forehead to hers before I whispered, “You’re strong. You’re smart. You’re capable. You’re a total badass who is gonna walk into that courtroom with your head held high and a ‘fuck you’ look on your face when you take the stand. You’re gonna answer every question they throw at you and when you’re finished there won’t be a person in that courtroom who doesn’t believe that son of a bitch deserves anything but the electric chair.”
“I’m strong. I’m smart. I’m capable,” Cat whispered.
“And you know what? He might have evil minions on his side but you’ve got a fucking army of ex-cons who like nothing more than a good fight, and we’re good at winning ‘em.”
“Damn right we are,” Lurk said from a few feet away.
“Hell yeah!” Sarge chimed in.
“C’mon, Abbie-Cat! Don’t let that motherfucker in your head!” Toris exclaimed. Her new nickname was just what she needed, and Cat smiled over at Toris who winked at her before he said, “Fuck him and the ugly horse he rode in on.”
Cat looked confused for a second before she said, “He doesn’t like horses.”
That was enough to make us all laugh, and as I let my hands fall from her shoulders, I said, “It’s one of those redneck expressions no one understands.”
“It’s not rocket science, fish for brains,” Toris grumbled, and I knew he was doing it just to make Cat smile.
“Do you even own a horse?” Cat asked.
Toris scoffed before he said, “Maybe I do.”
“I’ve got seventy,” I boasted.
“You do?”
I smiled at Cat before I explained, “My Dyna is 70 horsepower, so . . .”
When I let my voice trail off, Cat frowned at me and said, “That’s cheating.”
“Well, you know, I’m a criminal, so there’s that,” I replied with a shrug.
“I wasn’t sure she knew that about us so I’ve kept my mouth shut, but I have to ask - is being in this building giving anyone else the heebie-jeebies?” Toris asked.
“Lil’ bit,” Lurk agreed as he looked around. “The last time I was in a courthouse like this they sent me away for quite a good long while.”
“Listen to him talk! His mountain roots are coming out,” Ajax said, teasing Lurk about how his accent seemed to get heavier when he was irritated or upset.
I looked back at Cat and found her smiling, and I knew that was what the guys were aiming for. She’d become especially close to Sarge and Toris during their time at Ajax’s house, and over the last few weeks while we waited for her turn to testify she’d become good friends with Lurk too.
Since our road trip to get here she and I had become good friends too, but gradually I had started to feel something else. Something more. Something that was more like attraction. The guys looked at her like a little sister, but I had plenty of those, and even though I loved them I didn’t get the jolt of electricity when we spoke.
At first I looked at Cat like I would any other client who needed my help, but over time it had morphed into something completely different that I wasn’t quite sure I could name. During the hours in the truck together we really got to know each other and it became a type of attraction that I had never experienced before. Of course I’d been attracted to women before. I wasn’t a monk by any means.
But I’d never felt this sort of excitement when a woman smiled at me, and I had never found myself looking forward to sitting down to talk with a woman before.
That was how it started with Cat. I looked forward to waking up in the morning and having a quiet conversation over coffee. At night I wanted to hear her voice one more time before I went to sleep.
A few nights ago, she had already been in bed by the time I went up to my room. I found myself yearning for just one more conversation with her before I went to sleep. Once I finally fell asleep, I started dreaming about her - but those dreams weren’t like any conversation we had ever had.
No, the dreams I had about Cat were of the X-rated variety, and when I saw her over coffee, it was almost impossible not to remember them.
And then I started watching her more closely, and that just added fuel to the fire. The way she bit her bottom lip when she was concentrating, how she tucked her hair behind her ear when she was looking down at her Kindle, the way her eyes closed and she moaned happily when she ate ice cream . . .
All perfectly normal actions but my brain turned them into sexual fantasies and then added to them until I felt like a horny teenager.
No matter how many times I reminded myself that Cat was a client who would soon go on with her own life probably far away from mine, I couldn’t seem to stop myself from seeing her in an entirely different light. I knew that my fantasies and filthy dreams would never lead anywhere, even if we happened to end up in the same place when all of this was said and done. The woman had recently divorced and was raising two kids. The last thing she needed in her life was some man sniffing around.
But the thought of anyone else trying to do that was enough to make me homicidal.
I really needed to get that in check.