18.
C AT
“We need more of the sugar-free pecan bars,” Ruth said as she sat down on the chair next to mine. She pulled a bottle of water from the ice bucket beneath the table and said, “Bubbe and Dodie are making a killing at the bar. I think they’ve got more signatures than any of us. The girls’ hands are so pruny at the dog wash station that they’re sure they can get away with a myriad of crimes because their fingerprints are gone for good. They’re really good at taking a little longer on the dogs whose owners haven’t quite seen the light from your grandmother’s arguments.”
“Do you think this is going to make a difference?” I asked as I pulled on a plastic glove so I could refill the tray of cookies Ruth had been passing out among the crowd around the square during the weekly farmers market.
“I think it helps that Agnes is a troll who has pissed off everyone within a twenty-mile radius at one point or another. The method of plying them with sweets and liquor is sort of akin to that old adage ‘you catch more flies with honey than vinegar,’ so I’d say that’s adding points in our favor too.”
“Your tray is ready,” I said as I pulled off my gloves and tossed them in the small trash can next to the cooler. As Ruth finished off her water, I asked, “Do you need any more business cards?”
“I actually need more business cards and meeting reminder cards, please,” Ruth said as she stood and picked up the tray. “Left cheek is business, right cheek is pleasure.”
I laughed as I stuffed more of my business cards into her left back pocket and more cards reminding residents about the town hall meeting in the one on the right. Just to be funny, I gave her ass a slap before she walked off.
Ruth took me by surprise when she said, “If you’re gonna spank me, do it like you mean it, and I’d also like my hair pulled.”
My shock must have been hilarious because Ruth was still laughing when she approached a group of residents.
Suddenly, the boys showed up at the table with their hands out for another round of treats.
I held up the container that I’d set aside with their favorites and let them choose a couple before I offered them each a bottle of water. I’d been around them often enough that I wasn’t surprised when all four of them tipped their heads back and poured at least half of their bottle on their faces and then shook themselves like dogs before they took their first sips. Once their thirst was sated and they had snacks in hand, I asked, “How is flyer distribution going?”
“We’re out again,” Cay informed me as he leaned over the side of the portable crib and tickled Mackenzie.
Riley, the other older boy, explained, “We went to the outside edges of the parking lots and used them all. Now we need more.”
“Has anyone given you any trouble?” I asked.
“One lady who doesn’t like us started complaining, but she stopped when Kroy started barking at her.”
“Barking?”
Kroy shrugged before he said, “It usually works.”
“I might have to try that.”
“When grown-ups do it, they make them go see a doctor, but when we do it, they just blame our moms.”
I burst out laughing, and Kroy grinned as he grabbed one last cookie and then took off with another handful of fliers to put on the cars and carts in the parking lots around the square. Originally, I had been worried about sending the boys off on their own, but Rachel had assured me that if anyone kidnapped them, they’d admit defeat and bring them back within the hour.
Considering how wild the boys were, I thought she was probably right. It did make me feel better knowing that they were sticking together, which in most cases would be terrifying but made sense today.
I picked up my phone when it buzzed, hoping for a message from Chai. I was pleasantly surprised to find a message from Sandi instead.
“Check your email. Ajax went to town on the resident list and dug up all sorts of dirt.”
I sent a quick text thanking her for getting Ajax to do that favor for me and then opened my email to look at what he’d sent. He had been very thorough and gone through the list one by one. The majority of the names listed had “no findings” beside them, but there were many more with findings than I had thought there would be.
My mouth dropped open in shock when I saw the names on the list, some of which were good friends of Bubbe and Dodie, who had chapters of dark history in their past before moving to the neighborhood. The last entry shocked the hell out of me, and I looked over at the makeshift tiki bar we’d created for Bubbe and Dodie and found the man with the craziest history flirting with Fish’s grandmother.
Apparently, he was not a Jewish podiatrist from Boca.
Holy shit.
◆◆◆
“Bubbe, can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked when she opened the front door.
She reached out and took Mackenzie from me and stepped aside to let Charlotte run past her to the basket of toys she kept next to the fireplace. I walked into the house, careful in case Bubbe’s dogs were inside, and she chuckled as she shut the door behind me.
“They’re at Dinah’s for grooming, so it’s safe.”
I didn’t respond because what could you say? The woman loved her Pomeranians even though they were a menace to every other adult they encountered. The kids were safe as was Bubbe, but anyone else that encountered them might come out of the fray with torn hems and scratches all over their ankles and feet. Knowing I was safe for today, I followed Bubbe into the kitchen where she sat Mackenzie down on the floor and handed her a metal bowl and a handful of spoons.
“What’s up, Buttercup?” Bubbe asked.
“I hope I’m not overstepping, but I thought this was very important. If Chai was here, I’d have talked to him about it first, but . . . I’m not sure where to start.”
“I’m just impressed that you didn’t burn up the phone lines talking to the girls and then come over to confront me en masse.”
“I never even considered that.”
“That’s why I like you, shayna maidel.” I smiled at the nickname she’d given me. From what Chai explained, it meant a well-behaved girl, which I wasn’t quite sure was a compliment even though he assured me it was. “What would you like to discuss?”
“How well do you know Lorne Abrams?” Bubbe’s smile said it all, too much actually, but it didn’t answer my question. “I mean how much do you know about his history and personal life?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I sent the list of residents’ names to our friend who is an investigator, and it came back with some . . . concerning information about Mr. Abrams.”
“And you haven’t told anyone else?”
“No, ma’am.”
“And you won’t. Not even my bubbeleh. Chai cannot know about Lorne’s previous life. Do you understand?”
“He’s living a lie.”
“We’re all living a lie in one way or another, sweetheart. It’s who you’re lying to that matters. Lorne told me the truth after we got to know each other and he realized he could trust me.”
“Dodie doesn’t know he’s in witness protection?”
“I believe she’s figured out that he’s not Jewish, but she thinks it’s a funny quirk that he pretends to be.”
“Aren’t you afraid?”
“Of Lorne? No. His past? That is a little more concerning. He has told me that I shouldn’t mourn the loss of his friendship if he just up and disappears someday because it would mean he’s gone on to a new life. He assured me not to worry because he might come back when I least expect it.”
“You don’t think he’s dangerous?”
“He doesn’t pose a threat to me, but I can see how those who aren’t on his good side might feel that way.”
“That doesn’t scare you?”
“Any person, even one who only believes in peace, can be dangerous in certain circumstances. For instance, you don’t have a mean bone in your body, but you ran over Agnes . . .” Bubbe held her fist out to bump knuckles with me again, something she’d been doing every time my encounter with Agnes was mentioned. “And yet you have no guilt about it. If anything, you’re angry enough to uproot her entire life and have been diligently working on that task for over a week now.”
“That’s different.”
“You love my Mordechai and will do whatever it takes to protect him.” Bubbe motioned toward Mackenzie who was banging on the bowl nearby and then toward the living room where we could hear Charlotte playing with her toys. “You might not believe in violence, but you would do great harm to anyone who threatens your children. Am I right?”
“Absolutely.”
“And as much as it hurts to talk about what Chai did to protect his sisters, I know that he’s a good man that does bad things when the situation gives him no other choice.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered when I saw a shadow of pain cross her face at the mention of her late daughter.
“My daughter was gone well before her body disappeared, shayna maidel.” Bubbe clapped her hands, and Mackenzie squealed excitedly before Charlotte ran into the kitchen. They had learned that the whirlwind who had taken them under her wing only did that when snacks were imminent, and in this case, I was just as excited as the children. “Now, onto better things. I baked an apple cake just like my grandmother used to make for me and Dodie when we were children. I’d like to have a piece with you while we go over the information your friend sent.”
Charlotte and Mackenzie were both in front of the refrigerator by the time Bubbe got over there, and I could swear I saw more than the usual amount of drool on Mackenzie’s chin just at the idea of a snack from the elderly woman.
“Now, if you like it, I will teach you how to make it the old way, not the way people make it now.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’m sure I’ll love it.”
“Even if you hate it, pretend that you don’t. I have tender feelings, you know.”
Even the girls burst out laughing at that blatant lie. The rest of the afternoon was filled with many more laughs along with lots of coffee and some great food. After a while, Dodie joined us and then Grammy came over too. By the time I took the girls home for their nap, my face hurt from smiling so much, and I knew my stomach would be sore from all the laughter.
It was one of the best days I could remember, and I wondered if my own grandchildren would look back and have memories like this with me one day. I hoped so.
◆◆◆
I woke up to the sound of Bubbe’s dogs going nuts, which didn’t make any sense considering it was late at night and they should be safe inside her home. I got out of bed and walked over to the window. The motion-activated security lights at the back of Bubbe’s house were on, making her backyard almost as bright as day and leaving our yard seemingly much darker than normal.
I stepped out onto the balcony and listened for any noises and was about to turn around to go back inside when something caught my eye down on the grass near the water. I focused on the movement I saw down there, my chest tight with terror at the thought of an invading congregation of alligators, and was almost relieved when I saw the shape of a man.
Except I knew it wasn’t Fish, not only because the size and shape of him wasn’t right, but because I’d talked to him just a few hours ago and he told me he was still working and wouldn’t be home until tomorrow.
Glad I’d thought to bring my phone with me, I pressed the buttons to call 911, wondering how long it would take for the police to arrive and if I should call Bubbe to warn her that there was someone on her property. I was still on the phone with 911 when the man, and a smaller person I hadn’t seen earlier, hurried down the dock to Chai’s boat.
“Oh, hell no!” I whispered, shocking the 911 operator. “I think they’re trying to steal my boyfriend’s boat.”
“Ma’am, please stay on the line. We’ve got officers on the way.”
“How long before they get here?” I asked.
“It should be no more than ten minutes.”
I watched as they made it to the end of the dock and then carefully climbed over the side of the boat and then heard a woman’s shrill voice and instantly knew who the culprit was. Before I even formed a plan, I was sprinting down the steps to get to the grass. As I ran across the short lawn, I slipped my phone into the pocket of my pajama pants and ignored the operator’s frantic voice asking me if I was okay.
Yes, I was perfectly fucking fine - but more than a little pissed off and a tad homicidal.
I got to the edge of the dock just as the duo walked underneath the canopy and heard them open the hatch that would take them down into the cabin. I knew that they wouldn’t be able to steal the boat, but I wanted them on it when the cops arrived, so I did the only thing I could think to do when I got to the end of the dock.
I untied the boat from the cleats and then pushed with all my might to get it farther out into the water. I knew from the many times that I’d been on it with Chai that it wouldn’t immediately float away but would get far enough from the dock that a person couldn’t reach out to pull themselves back. And since they didn’t have a key to start the engine, they’d be adrift until someone pulled them back in.
The boat wasn’t moving away quickly enough, so I lifted my foot and shoved it as hard as I could. I was happy when I heard the woman’s concerned voice asking why the boat seemed to be moving.
I pulled my phone back out and assured the 911 operator that I was fine and told her that the boat was slowly drifting away and I was positive that the people aboard were trying to steal it. She assured me that the officers were close, and after another minute or so, she told me that they’d arrived.
I heard men’s voices behind me and turned to wave at them so they would know I was not the person they were looking for just as Agnes appeared on the deck of the boat with a horrified look on her face.
“They’re stealing the boat!” I yelled as the officers hurried down the dock.
Agnes started screeching just as the man I’d seen appeared behind her, and they looked shocked to find that they were unmoored and bobbing further and further away from the dock. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Bubbe hurrying across the lawn with Lorne not far behind her.
Since the police were here, I hung up with the 911 operator and checked the monitor to make sure the girls were okay before I went over to stand next to Lorne while Bubbe dealt with the police.
He smiled down at me and asked, “Isn’t it nuts that they thought they could steal a boat with no keys?”
“Crazy.”
He nudged me with his elbow and said, “Good call, kiddo. Stealing a boat is a much heftier charge than trespassing.”
“I didn’t even think about that, I just didn’t want them to escape.”
Lorne chuckled. “One thing about the majority of the residents is that they’re not exactly world-class sprinters. My guess is that it would have been pretty easy for the cops to catch them, but luckily, they’re already contained.”
“Because they were stealing the boat.”
“Yep. They sure were.”