NICHOLAS
THE BALLROOM WAS still lit when I left the portrait gallery.
It was past midnight, long after anyone else should have been lingering, but I heard music drifting down the corridor as I headed toward the grand staircase.
I paused, listening for the sound of voices, but when I didn’t hear any, I headed in that direction to shut off what I assumed had been accidentally left on.
It was unlike Baxter or any of the staff to not be meticulous, but this weekend was going to be a big one.
We were hosting a ball, which meant everyone was in overdrive, bringing out the best of the royal silver, rolling out the red carpet, organizing seating charts, filling every square inch of Montclair Palace with flowers.
It was the first official event since my father had died, and the sheer number of foreign royals, prime ministers, and ambassadors coming to see what kind of king I would turn out to be weighed heavily on my mind.
The reason for the ball, though, wasn’t me. It was for another man.
Alejandro de la Vega.
He would be here tomorrow, the crown prince, with his fiery personality and excellent bloodline that would make our match an advantageous one. My father had been keen on joining our kingdoms, and my advisors and the de la Vegas were moving things forward at a pace that made my head spin.
It wasn’t that Alejandro wasn’t attractive—he definitely was. And it wasn’t that he wasn’t intelligent, or that I didn’t know that, logically, this was a smart decision. Of course I did.
The problem was that this match mattered so much to everyone…but me. My life had always been arranged, down to the smallest detail, and I could see the way it would all unfold.
Tomorrow they’d place Alejandro at my side publicly, and though we wouldn’t be announcing anything, all of Valoria would watch and whisper, and by morning the papers would be splashing a royal future wedding on the front page. One I didn’t choose but would be expected to follow through with.
A prince for a king.
The words sat heavy on my chest, but as I started through the wide ballroom doors, I forgot all about it.
Because Noah Bennett stood inside, alone in the center of the room, still perfectly dressed in his livery, though his hair had fallen over his forehead as he looked down at his feet and muttered to himself.
“That’s not right,” I thought I heard him say.
Curious, I watched him, waiting to see what he was up to and what “wasn’t right.” A few seconds later he began to count, and that was when I noticed it matched the beat of the soft waltz that was playing.
Noah stepped forward, then to the side, but if he was attempting to dance the waltz, he’d just gone in the opposite direction. Like he knew it, he cursed, and I couldn’t help my grin at the way he glared at his feet like they weren’t following his orders.
That was going to be a problem.
Not the fact he couldn’t dance; he wouldn’t be at the ball as a guest. But the fact he made me want to smile—among other things.
Noah Bennett was a complication I wasn’t sure how to navigate. But every time I found myself in his vicinity, I was immediately aware of him—from his thick hair, which had lighter strands running through it, to his pressed and tailored livery and the way it fit him to perfection.
Of course it did; it was measured to his exact specifications. But for some reason, the uniform seemed to accentuate his broad shoulders in a way that always had me taking a second look, and third, until, like now, I found myself unable to look away.
I could have him removed from my service, transferred to some other part of the palace. But that didn’t seem fair when he’d done nothing to deserve it.
Also, selfishly, I didn’t want him to go anywhere. I liked having him in my presence, would miss him if he was gone, and for that reason, I would continue to tempt fate.
I was so busy watching him that I didn’t think to be more discreet, so when he spun around—again, the wrong way—he happened to look up, and when he saw me standing there, he started toward the small speaker on a nearby table.
“Your Majesty, I apologize. I didn’t realize you were finished for the evening.”
“Leave it.”
His brow furrowed, his fingers hovering over the speaker. “Sir?”
“Keep it on. The music.”
“Oh…are you sure?”
Was I sure? If I were smart, I’d demand he turn it off and leave. I’d retire upstairs alone and then spend the next couple of hours tossing and turning while sleep evaded me.
Instead, I walked inside, and that was my first mistake.
Actually, if I were honest with myself, I’d made more than one with Noah.
Starting with when I’d taken Gabriel’s place at the mahjong table and realized how beautiful Noah was when he smiled.
Or when I’d asked him to touch me during the shave and meant it.
That memory stayed with me, popping up at the most inappropriate times, like when I was getting a briefing from Gilbert, my private secretary, or when I was supposed to be paying attention to the tennis game with the marquess and kept getting a glimpse of Noah out of the corner of my eye.
And then when I’d let him challenge me after Charlie had broken the pitcher, a moment I shouldn’t have allowed. I should’ve been furious Noah had spoken to me that way, but I’d listened, and God only knew why.
I moved farther into the room as Noah dropped his hand and straightened.
“Can I do something for you, sir?”
“What are you doing?”
He glanced toward the place cards stacked in careful rows, along with a final seating chart. “Working.”
“By accusing your feet of betrayal?”
“They don’t seem to want to go where they’re supposed to, sir.”
The corner of my mouth twitched, and Noah noticed.
It was dangerous the way those knowing looks of his seemed designed to test my discipline. It was like he saw past the crown, to who I was, and it was unnerving.
“Maybe they just need someone to follow,” I said, taking another step closer. “Someone whose order they’ll obey.”
Noah swallowed, and when I held my hand out to him, he took in a breath.
“May I have this dance?”
He glanced at my outstretched hand. “I… You want to dance with me?”
“You don’t want to dance with me?”
“No, sir. I mean, yes, sir. Of course I’d like to dance with you, but you don’t have to—”
“I know,” I said, taking another step closer despite the alarm bells warning me to leave. “I want to.”
A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he finally closed the gap between us and slipped his gloved hand into mine.
The material was soft against my palm, the white a stark contrast to my sun-kissed skin.
When I closed my fingers around his and moved to put my hand on his waist—just beneath his waistcoat—there was a soft gasp.
“This is the proper hold,” I said as I raised his other hand to my shoulder. “Is that okay with you?”
I didn’t have that much height on him, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the way he had to angle his face up to look me in the eye.
“Yes, sir.”
“Nicholas,” I reminded him, wanting him to feel comfortable calling me that when we were together…alone.
“Sorry.” He gave a soft laugh, and something in my stomach flipped. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.”
“Why?” I said, gently applying pressure to his lower back and closing the final inch between us.
“Because you’re the king.”
“I’m aware. But I also have a name.”
“I know, but—”
“But?”
He shook his head and flexed his fingers in mine. “Nothing. You’re right. Of course you want to be addressed by your name.”
“Not by everyone,” I said. “But I’d like to think the man I’m dancing with would call me by my name.”
“In that case,” he said so softly I almost missed it, “feel free to call me Noah.”
I didn’t need his permission to call him by his first name; we both knew that. But the fact he’d given it made my heart beat a little faster. I was wading into dangerous waters, but I’d be damned if I couldn’t stop myself from diving in headfirst.
“In that case, may I have this dance, Noah?”
His cheeks flushed, and when he nodded and the music changed, I began leading him in the traditional six-count box step that was the basis of any good waltz.
One step forward, one step back, sidestep, and so on.
He relaxed into my hold and followed my lead as if he’d been doing it all his life, and by mid-song we were moving around the ballroom as one.
Noah was a quick study, his body fluid as he followed every path I led him down. No one would ever believe he hadn’t danced before, certainly not me. When I dropped my arm by his waist to spin him, he went with a joyful laugh.
The sound warmed every single part of me, and when I pulled him back into my embrace, he came with an eager smile full of sincerity.
“You’re a quick learner,” I said as his hand automatically moved back to my shoulder.
He chuckled as I continued to sweep us around the room. “Is that your way of saying I’m not terrible?”
“It’s my way of saying you show…great potential.”
That really made him laugh. “In other words, I haven’t stomped your feet to death.”
I shook my head and drew us to a stop in the middle of the ballroom. But when I should’ve let him go, I instead tightened my hold.
“In other words, you continue to surprise me at every turn, Noah Bennett.”
His chest rose and fell as he looked up at me, his eyes sparkling with delight. “Maybe I just had a good partner?”
“Of that, there’s no doubt.”
“Of course.”
“But I think there’s more to it than that. Dancing comes from the heart and soul, and your joy shows in your smile right now. It’s beautiful.”
Noah’s eyes widened a fraction, and I thought I’d overstepped until he worried his lower lip and whispered, “My smile or my joy?”
There was no mistaking what he was asking, and I knew if I answered, so much would change between us. But if I were honest, it had started to change from the day I’d sat down at the mahjong table.
“You,” I told him, and let go of his hand to run the backs of my fingers down his cheek. “You are beautiful.”
Noah leaned into the touch, and as he closed his eyes, I whispered, “Noah…”
His eyes quickly snapped open and he took a step back, turning away and moving out of my arms to walk back over to where the place cards were stacked up. He hit stop on the music, sending the vast room into a dead silence.
I felt the loss of him as I watched him straighten the stacks, back to the diplomatic footman, no longer just Noah.
I should’ve left it at that, walked right out of the room so we could both pretend this had never happened, but for some reason I found my feet moving toward him instead.
He didn’t look up, and I wondered if I’d just made a huge mistake. I hadn’t read this wrong, had I? There was an obvious attraction, I’d seen it and felt it, and it was something I knew we should both deny. Nothing could happen here, I knew that, but…
Why did it feel so right when he was in my arms?
But then a thought hit me, one that made my stomach twist. There was an obvious power imbalance here. Noah hadn’t reciprocated just because he thought I wanted him to, right?
“I haven’t overstepped here, have I?” I asked, watching his face carefully for any sign I’d made him uncomfortable.
Noah’s head snapped up. “Of course not, sir.”
“Nicholas.”
He opened his mouth then shut it again, shaking his head. “You’re the king. You deserve nothing but my respect. Sir. I can’t address you so informally.” He gathered up the remaining place cards, and I moved closer, rounding the table.
“Noah,” I said, waiting for him to look up. When he didn’t, I added, “Look at me.”
He didn’t deny the direct order, and this time when his eyes met mine, I saw exactly what he’d been trying to hide. It wasn’t fear or regret swirling in his beautiful hazel gaze, and it eased the knot in my stomach.
“You have my permission to speak freely. Tell me what’s on your mind,” I said. “Please.”
I saw the way he chewed his lip and stared down at the table, like he was having an inner debate over whether to do just that.
But since I’d known him, he’d never been one to bite his tongue, and eventually he sighed and said, “For one thing, it’s that you have to give me permission to speak freely. That’s not something I can do in my position.”
There was more just waiting to burst off his tongue. “And?”
“And we’re here in this ballroom that we’ve spent all day putting finishing touches on so it’ll be perfect for you and—” He stopped abruptly and looked down again, shaking his head.
“Alejandro,” I said, understanding exactly what was happening. “That’s who you were thinking of just now?”
“Well…no, not by that name, but yes. How can I not? He’ll be here in this beautiful room dancing with you in front of everyone to that waltz, and soon you’ll be married and…” He finally met my eyes again.
“You’re right,” I said. “I understand. I’ve put you in a difficult position, and for that I apologize.”
“Please don’t apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong, it’s just…too complicated.”
He was right. What I wanted, what I was asking for, was impossible. It had been wrong to put him in this position, but walking away from him felt wrong too. Thinking of dancing with Alejandro in this very room was the last thing I wanted, but I couldn’t afford to put my wants over the crown.
It seemed Noah knew that better than I did.
But he was the only one I felt alive around, the only one for whom I could drop the royal facade and just be myself. His position was far more precarious than mine, though, because if anyone found out, it could put a stain on Noah, and he needed this job for his family.
I was being selfish here, pushing for something that couldn’t go anywhere. It wasn’t fair to him or to me.
“I should let you get some rest,” I said thickly, knowing he wouldn’t sleep until he knew I was in my quarters for the night. I started to leave, but then turned and added, “Send Violet to fix my quarters.”
Noah’s brow creased. “But sir—”
“I think it’s for the best if she takes care of it tonight.”
He looked like he wanted to argue that for a moment, but then schooled his face into a neutral expression and nodded. “Yes, Your Majesty. I’ll send her up right away.”
“Thank you…Bennett.” I dropped my eyes to his mouth briefly, wishing I hadn’t been so careful and just kissed him the way I’d wanted to, because now I’d never get a chance.
I tore my gaze from him and turned away, and this time it was my feet having difficulty following orders.
But unlike Noah, I would make myself move.
I would do the thing I didn’t want to do both tonight and tomorrow because that was what kings did.
They sacrificed their own happiness, their own desires, for their country, and were happy to do so.
At least, that was what we were taught to believe.
All I had to do was forget this moment and all the moments that came before now.
Tomorrow night I would be meeting my future, and I needed to leave Noah and the glimpse of happiness where it was right now as I walked out of the room. Behind me.