NICHOLAS
MY HEART WAS racing the entire drive to Whitefall Cliffs.
If I’d been at the wheel, I would’ve gotten us there a hell of a lot faster, but I’d had to bring a driver and my security, so all I could do was sit anxiously in the back seat, my leg bouncing up and down and my thumbnail bitten down to the quick.
The first time we’d driven this road it’d been with Noah beside me, and I felt that aching loss even as we got closer to the place I knew he’d be.
After my talk with Gabriel we’d put out feelers throughout the kingdom to find where Noah had run off to, and it wasn’t long before Sutherland House responded, having made an offer of employment to him.
And the address they’d sent correspondence to? Noah’s family home.
Of course this was where he’d come, and I was grateful that at least he’d been surrounded by people who loved him after he left the palace.
Left me.
I looked out the window toward the cliffs that appeared, which told me we were getting close.
I tried to remember everything I wanted to say when I saw Noah.
Begging for forgiveness was at the top of my list, because how had I thought I could live without him?
Dismissing him from my life had been a futile attempt to follow the role set for my future, because why couldn’t things be different?
Why did it matter that Valoria and Solterra should be joined to strengthen our countries when they were already doing well on their own?
It was a power move, and not one I was interested in.
I was not my father, and as much as I hated to admit it, my brother was right: I was the king now. I could make new rules.
Starting with Noah.
The car traveled down the narrow road that led to the Bennett cottage, and I wiped my hands along my thighs. I didn’t know what I would face when I arrived, whether Noah would even agree to see me, but I wasn’t leaving until he heard me out.
The small gray cottage appeared at the end of the lane, and when the car eased to a stop, I took in a deep breath.
I was here for Noah, and I wasn’t leaving without him.
My door opened, my security’s eyes already roving along the property, but I shook my head as I stepped out.
“There’s no need. Not here.”
“But sir—”
“I’m your king and I command you to stay here out of sight until I return. Please.”
He didn’t look happy about it, but he bowed his head as I walked to the front door.
To my surprise, it opened before I could knock, Noah’s mother stepping outside—but no sign of the man I was here for.
“Your Majesty,” she said, giving a small curtsy and bowing her head.
“Mrs. Bennett. It’s good to see you again.”
When she lifted her eyes, they assessed me in a way that said she’d hated having her son come home with a broken heart and resented me for it.
“If you’re looking for Noah,” she said, “he isn’t here.”
It was a lie, but I understood protecting someone you loved. I’d need to earn her forgiveness as well as Noah’s.
“With all due respect, Mrs. Bennett, I know he’s here.”
There was a stubborn set to her jaw as she replied, “I think you should leave.”
“I will, if that’s what Noah wants.”
“And if I say it’s what I want?”
“Then I would respect that you’re protecting your son.”
“But you’d insist anyway.”
“Yes.”
“Because you’re the king?”
“No.” I looked her right in the eye so she knew I was speaking the truth. “Because I love him.”
Her eyes softened, but I could sense the fear that I could hurt Noah. That I had hurt him. She looked past me, toward the sea. “You broke my boy’s heart.”
“I know.”
“No, Your Majesty, I don’t think you do.
” Her voice shook a little, like she was trying to show restraint because of my title.
“I don’t think men like you truly ever know what it means for men like him to love someone above their rank.
You can walk into any room and be respected because of who you are.
Noah walks in and has to prove he deserves to stand there. Your lives are not the same.”
I held her gaze, not wanting to look away from the truth of her words.
“You’re right,” I said. “I hurt Noah. I told myself distance would keep him safe. He deserved better from me.”
“Yes. He did.” She stepped toward me, crossing her arms tightly across her chest. “He’s got a job waiting for him at Sutherland House.
He leaves today. It’s good work. Honest work.
Work that won’t have him looking over his shoulder because there are whispers about him.
He deserves peace and a good life. I want my son to be with someone who doesn’t need to turn him into a secret to love him. ”
“You’re right,” I told her, swallowing hard. “That’s why I’m here. I love your son, Mrs. Bennett. I want to be with him. I want a life with him. One that’s not a secret, where I can show him every day that he’s the most incredible man I’ve ever met and deserves the world.”
Whatever protest was coming next died on her tongue.
“I need to see him. Not to issue some royal command, but to beg for his forgiveness and tell him what I should’ve told him before he left Montclair.”
She stared at me for a long time. “And if he says no?”
“Then I will leave him in peace.”
She looked surprised. “You’ll let him go?”
God, I couldn’t fathom it, letting him go again—couldn’t think about an outcome where he didn’t choose me the same way I’d chosen him—and had to force myself to nod. “Yes.”
I held my breath as her eyes narrowed, and just when I thought she was going to tell me to leave, she nodded toward the cliffs.
“He’s out walking.”
My breath left me in a rush. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet.” I nodded and turned around, and she said, “Your Majesty?”
“Yes?”
“If you hurt him again, I don’t care that there’s a crown on your head. I’ll find a way to make you regret it.”
Her words made me smile, because there was no way on God’s green earth I was ever going to let Noah go again.
“I believe you,” I said, and her mouth twitched.
“Follow the path to the right and it’ll lead you to him.”
With a final wave, I headed in the direction she’d sent me, secretly wondering if it would lead me directly off a cliff. The thought made me chuckle because it would’ve been well deserved, but luckily for me, Mrs. Bennett wasn’t feeling overly vindictive today.
The path curved around the cottage and through her small vegetable garden, and when I pushed open a small wooden gate and stepped through it, I spotted a lone figure out on the cliffs.
It’d been a foggy morning, but as the sun rose over the water it seemed to part the clouds, to pierce the gloom to sparkle off the sea below.
It was beautiful, and so was the man standing at the edge of what felt like all of my tomorrows.
I stopped to memorize the picture he made there. But then, as if he could sense someone, Noah slowly turned, and the mug in his hands slipped free and fell to the ground.
“Nicholas…” My name was like a whisper on the wind as he stared across the open space, and the few feet between us felt like a chasm.
“Noah,” I finally managed, my eyes greedily roving over him, taking in every new thing I could see.
His hair was a little longer, and fell across his forehead in a way that made me want to sweep it out of his eyes.
His clothes were a little more casual than I’d ever seen on him, a pair of loose black slacks and a cream shirt that he’d tucked in at the waist. Appropriate to meet with prospective employers that weren’t of the monarchy, and relaxed enough that he looked effortlessly handsome.
But it was the dark circles under his eyes that comprised the biggest change in him. That and the way his lips turned down at the corners when he looked my way. Most unlike the spark and smile I’d grown accustomed to.
“What are you doing here?”
This was it. My chance to tell him everything I’d been thinking and feeling since the moment I’d stupidly ended things with him.
“You’re here. So I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.”
Noah blinked, several different emotions crossing his face at once. Shock. Disbelief.
And hope.
“I… I don’t know what that means.”
I took a step toward him. “It means I love you, Noah. I’ve loved you from the minute you walked into my chambers and acted as though we were lifelong friends, and then blushed from head to toe when you realized you’d in fact befriended my troublemaking brother.
” Noah swallowed as I stopped in front of him.
“It means that cutting you off and telling you to leave was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life.
But loving you? That was the smartest thing I’ve ever done. ”
I moved down onto one knee and took his hand in mine, and he gasped.
“I’m lost without you, Noah,” I said. “The sun doesn’t shine, food has no taste, laughter has no joy, because you…
you are all those things. Without you, I feel nothing—I am nothing.
” I lowered my head and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand.
“I’m sorry for hurting you, for making you feel I could ever dismiss you from my heart, because the truth of the matter is, you are my heart. I love you, Noah.”
I fell silent, all of the words I’d needed and wanted to say now out in the open as I knelt there at his feet. I was, in this moment, no longer King of Valoria, but a supplicant to the one who was my heart.
Noah gently pulled his hand from mine, and just when I thought he would send me away with my heart in pieces, he curled his fingers beneath my chin and raised my face to his.
Tears streaked his cheeks as he looked down at me, his hazel eyes swirling with love and forgiveness, then he leaned down and brushed a gentle kiss across my lips.
“I love you, Nicholas. I’ve always loved you.” My chest tightened at the words. “But you’re engaged.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I called it off.”
Noah’s mouth parted in surprise, and I reached for his hand, getting back to my feet.
“I couldn’t go through with it. Marrying someone other than you was a fate I wasn’t prepared to accept.”
“But…” Noah stared up at me, that hope from moments ago overwhelming all other emotions. “It’s expected. The king and the—”
“The man he loves is who the king should be expected to marry.” I gently swept that strand of hair from his eyes. “And I don’t love a prince, Noah. I love you.”
He took a step toward me, until barely a breeze could fit between us. “I got a new job.”
My lips twitched at the sparkle in his eyes, and I wound an arm around his waist, pulling him in that final inch. “You might have to decline.”
“Oh?” He placed a hand over my heart, his lips so close I could almost taste them. “But where will I live? What will I do?”
“That is a bit of a conundrum, isn’t it?” I smiled as he played with my lapel. “How do you feel about a palace with a lot of big, drafty rooms?”
Noah slapped my chest lightly. “Montclair isn’t drafty.”
“No, it isn’t. But it will feel all the warmer if you’re living there, bringing the sunshine back to the halls.”
He took in a deep breath. “Living there? As…”
“My fiancé, I hope. And then my husband.”
The breath he’d been holding left him on a rush.
“Will you, Noah Bennett, do me the honor of marrying me? Of walking through life with me and helping to guide me to the right side of every decision, be it big or small?”
“Yes, of course. But…”
“But?” I held my breath, worried that he might still have misgivings about how I felt and what I’d done.
“Are you, um…are you allowed to do that?”
A smile curved my lips as I leaned in. “What have I told you the entire time you’ve known me, Mr. Bennett? I’m the king. I can do whatever I want. And I want to marry you. If you’ll have me.”
Noah grinned and nodded. “Then it would be my absolute pleasure to marry you, sir.”