Chapter 7
Chapter seven
Cedric volunteered to walk me back to my room.
I followed him closely as we carefully traversed the palace halls, checking around each corner before darting to the next hall.
Cedric moved a bit more confidently than the servant who had initially escorted me.
He knew exactly which areas to avoid, how many seconds to wait between guard movements, and even which doors were unlocked and which weren’t worth checking.
It made me wonder how many times he’d been afraid of being seen in his own home.
“The coast is clear,” Cedric said, waving at me to follow him down another passage. “Let’s hurry. We should be able to make it to your room before the guards do their door checks.”
“Thank you, I appreciate your help,” I said quietly, staying no further than a half-step behind him. “I know how risky it is to be seen with me like this.”
“I’ve spent enough time tiptoeing around the rules to know when I can get away with breaking them.” Cedric took a familiar turn, and I recognized the hall that connected to my suite.
“I suppose I never really pictured you as the rule breaker,” I said, our pace slowing as we closed in on our destination. “Atlas and Lochlan, sure, but you didn’t have as much to fight for as they did.”
“We’ve all had something to fight for here.
” Cedric’s tone was frosty, and I regretted saying anything.
“It’s true that I have no claim to the crown, but that never made things much easier for me.
Being the bonus royal means relying on external sources to establish my worth, because my internal connections will always have an expiration date. ”
I’d never thought about it like that before, but it made sense now that Cedric spent his time handling most of Aemastia’s foreign affairs and trades. Having connections outside his kingdom’s borders would do him well if he was ever pushed out of his home.
“I always thought you were more clever than you looked,” I said with a playful smile, silently wondering how much of those brains he’d lend me in the upcoming challenges.
“I always thought the same about you,” Cedric said, returning the smile.
We stopped in front of my door, the halls currently still with only our voices to fill it.
“Now I finally understand where all that genius comes from.” His eyes traced over me, his expression seemingly still struggling to pin the name Damon to my face.
“I’d hardly call Leopold’s torture the mark of a genius,” I said. “You grew up as a prince; I’m sure you know what it’s like to always be beaten over the head with lectures and mountains of expectations.”
I traced my heel against the floor, memorizing the texture of the carpet to push away the memory of the cold tower floors I’d studied in.
“I do,” Cedric said solemnly. “Father used to make us memorize books the size of a cinderblock while sitting out in the snow. The longer we took, the more the pages froze together.” He shivered at the reminder.
As I expected. All kings are monsters.
“My father locked me in a tower without food until I finished stacks of workbooks.” I shrugged, feeling numb to the trauma that had long since been eclipsed by worse events. “Being starved by King Septimus wasn’t my first experience going hungry.”
“I-I’m sorry.” His voice softened, his eyes scrunching together.
“It comes with the crown.”
“No, that’s not what I’m sorry for.” Something in him shifted, his posture stiffened and his voice even sounded more like his brothers’ for a moment.
“I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you from my father when I had the chance.
Had I offered to marry you sooner or pushed back harder against Lochlan when he intervened, you would have been safe right now. ”
That’s what he’s sorry for?
My hands twitched, torn between reaching out to comfort him and requesting comfort. The fear of complicating things further ended up keeping me frozen.
“There’s no such thing as safe for people like us,” I whispered as his eyes searched mine.
I’d meant it when I said he was clever, but what perplexed me was how he could still be foolish enough to care for me.
“There are ways to protect ourselves, but it’s never going to be enough.
We live in the shadows of kings or we cast the shadows—either way, darkness falls around us all the same. ”
“You’re right.” He pulled away a touch, the space feeling vaster than I expected. “Marrying me would have never been enough.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I said with a hitched breath. He could have protected me if I’d given him the chance. This wasn’t on him.
I’d chosen Atlas because I didn’t have faith in Cedric’s strength.
“I know.” He gave me a weak smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“But I still think it’s true.” He reached for my cheek, his touch soft as he gently cupped the face he had seen before but only now knew.
“I can’t give you everything you want, but I’ll be there for whatever you need, Diaspro.
Please just know, if you win the right to marry a prince again, I would still say yes. ”
My heart jumped up into my throat, leaving me mute as he pressed a gentle kiss on my forehead.
He opened the door for me and I stepped inside, our gazes only separating when the door cut us off.
The warmth of his lips lingered, sending a comforting buzz through me that felt like everything I needed.
But he was right. I wanted more.