9. Margo
CHAPTER 9
Margo
T he scent of his cologne fills the car. It’s intoxicating. I want to devour him in the back seat, but that would just be a distraction from the absolute shit show I’m sure is about to unfold at Dani’s engagement party. “You’ll know a lot of the folks from yesterday,” he says, but the words almost deliriously echo in my brain. When I agreed to go to Texas with Tommy, this was something different entirely. Now this feels like I’m going to war instead of a fun ruse to make an ex jealous.
I nod, remaining solidly in my mind as it runs through scenarios that get worse and worse. I told my mom about him. This has to be something more. I can’t be the understudy in their love story. What if she sees him and realizes the mistake she made? She’ll run into his arms, and he’ll kiss her and tell her how much he’s missed her—how they’re meant to be because no one knows him like she does. I swallow down the lump in my throat and glance at Tommy. His mouth is in a tight line as he stares out the window, gaze pensive as the car comes to a stop at a golf course parking lot. His jaw twitches once, and I fight the urge to ask how he’s feeling. Hollow. Destroyed. Ready to accept his punishment if I had to guess.
Before he gets out, he turns to look at me and smiles. It falls when he sees my face. “We can leave and go back home.” He shakes his head. “I never should have brought you here.”
Call me anything you want but never call me a quitter. “No, don’t worry about me. It’s normal nerves before I go into an unfamiliar social setting,” I say. “Nothing more, nothing less.”
“That was a lie,” he counters, grinning. “If you’re sure. We don’t have to stay long.”
I hope the smile I flash is real. I hope he senses the hope when I squeeze his hand. “Southern manners are a pain sometimes. I don’t know any other culture that forces people to do uncomfortable things in the name of courtesy.” I send a quick text to Jeannie because I told her I’d let her know when I was walking into war, and then I exit the car checking my reflection in the dark tint of the windows. I spent too much time on my hair and makeup, wanting to prove by unfounded semantics that I’m good enough for the man beside me.
Conversations can be heard on the light Texas breeze carrying from behind the building. Tommy takes my hand as a peal of laughter reaches us from the party.
“You are the most beautiful girl in the world,” he says, leaning down to plant a kiss near my mouth.
I blush, but the intrusive thoughts swirl still. Is he saying that to boost himself up because he’s about to see Dani? Was that her perfect laugh? I saw a photo of her in the hallway at his parents’ house. It was in the back on a small table that held a bunch of memories from Tommy’s childhood. It must have been a homecoming or prom because Dani had on a floofy dress and handsomely boyish Tommy had on a suit. Dani is the kind of pretty that the whole world agrees on. She’s not pretty in a unique way, or in the “her flaws are beautiful kind of way,” no, she’s conventional beauty personified. The only flaw I can count on is that she left this beast of a man next to me.
My heels clack against the pavers as we follow the hostess through a well-manicured garden area. Tommy tenses beside me as soon as the large gathering of people comes into view. A burly guy with floppy hair and what looks to be an expensive suit barrels up to us first, hugging Tommy not once, but twice. Tommy steps out of the embrace and says, “Margo, this is Archie, one of my best buds from high school, Archie, this is Margo, the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Wow, that was a dramatic intro. Shaking his hand, I notice the worn, calloused hands and lines around his eyes.
“It’s nice to meet you.” I ignore Tommy’s overzealous introduction.
Archie looks his friend up and down. “Wow, wow, wow, I heard rumors you had a beautiful lady with you but didn’t believe it until I saw it. I guess this would be the place to bring her to.” His big blue eyes widen as he speaks. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He glances back at his friend with a huge lopsided grin. “You lucky man.” I know the exact friend Archie was in high school after thirty seconds with him. He’s the funny guy who loves the ladies. I’d bet the ladies loved him back. He always says what’s on his mind, and I bet he gives straightforward advice.
Tommy laughs, but it doesn’t sound uncomfortable, it sounds almost relieved. “You working the Bradley’s Ranch every day of the week but Sunday?” Tommy asks. “I was bummed I didn’t get to see you, but they told me you’re managing the place by yourself now.” Archie confirms it, then Tommy says, “I need to pick your brain about something later if you don’t mind.”
“Anything for America’s Hero,” Archie quips, shaking his head. “I still can’t believe you did it. Made it through the SEAL training and did what you said you would. Everybody here talks, ya know? Those naysayers saying there was no way you’d make it through, and you’d be back here cowboying like the rest of us before year’s end. You really did it.” Tommy grins, and Archie continues. “I’m proud of you man, I’m proud.” As if his friend’s pride sparked them into existence, more people trickle over. It feels like they’re gawking at Tommy as they say hello and I’m introduced. It’s that weird celebrity effect, I realize. It’s watered down for me because I’m surrounded by the SEALs on a daily basis, but even now in a group of humans, it’s obvious he is a superior specimen. My throat tightens when I remember what he did to me last night. I’m introduced to a few more friends of his, and at some point, a glass of champagne ends up in my hand.
A woman with toned arms and a gap-toothed smile approaches us. Unlike the rest, she’s staring at me. “You must be Margo,” she says. “Dani told me you were bringing a plus one, Tommy.” Tommy stiffens beside me.
“This is Becca, she’s Dani’s best friend,” Tommy explains, all but cutting off the conversation he was having with someone two seconds ago. My stomach lurches, and I take a small sip of my drink. This is where the uncomfortable begins.
“Real big of you to turn up today,” Becca says to Tommy after I shake her hand briefly. “No one thought you’d show your face.”
He narrows his eyes and squeezes my hand gently. “We all have fresh starts. Of course, I want to celebrate Dani’s new life.”
“Bringing a plus one though? Isn’t that bold?” She smiles wide, and I can tell it’s a jab by the twinkle in her green eyes.
“Bold? The invite said I could bring a plus one. Now if she didn’t think I’d bring one, that’s another issue entirely.”
“Are you in the bridal party? The maid of honor?” I noticed her bare wedding ring finger and made a wild guess. Even though I’m merely trying to defuse the situation, I bluster on. “If you helped plan this beautiful party, you did a wonderful job. I’ve never seen such an elegant venue. The floral arrangements are beautiful.” She’s southern and the best friend. I shouldn’t be that far off from the truth.
Becca seems to soften a bit at my compliments as any southern, moneyed lady would. She pats her dress down at the sides. Yes, it’s working, I think. “I am the MOH,” she preens, saying the acronym instead of the word. “Today’s event was a group effort, though. We needed it to scream perfection and sophistication. All eight of the bridesmaids and I helped plan it. I can’t take all the credit. We wanted it to scream forever.” Her pretty eyes land back on Tommy.
There are a few choice words I think Jeannie would have to say about Dani and the situation she’s in today because she’s a therapist, but I must keep them to myself for right now. Tommy throws his hands out to the sides. “You did your job well, everything about this screams forever.”
Her smile falls. “We’ve known each other forever, Tommy. I know this can’t be easy for you. You and Dani had a life planned your whole lives. I just think maybe this isn’t the right place for others.”
My stomach pitches, and I feel a wave of dizziness. Avoiding awkward social settings is my norm, and somehow this man has me entrenched in it. A band starts playing from a gazebo to my right, and the chatter around me ebbs in and out of focus as I steady my breathing. Tommy laughs and somehow it comforts me.
“Becca,” he says. “This isn’t the right place for me to be. She’s marrying another man. Margo is here with me and has just about the same amount of attachment and right to this situation as I do. We’re here for the family and to wish the bride and groom well.”
Becca blinks her long lashes a few times, trying to process the offense. Tommy says goodbye to a couple of the friends near us and with my hand in his, strides away from Becca before she can respond. “Her friends have always been a lot. At the heart of it, they do come from a good place even if it feels evil.”
Fisting my free hand, I let my gaze flick over the people. “I anticipated a little evil if we’re being honest.” When I agreed to this, it was quid pro quo without feelings attached. Suddenly, I feel like a target. Is this closure that Tommy needs? What exactly is this accomplishing? “Do you want to get a drink?”
He shakes his head when I look up to read his face. “I don’t think partaking is a good idea tonight.”
I swallow hard. “Because you might say or do something?” Because he might beg for her back and grovel at her feet leaving me looking on like the town idiot? The insecurity confuses me, but it’s there because it makes perfect sense at the same time. These feelings are new to me. There’s nothing in my past to compare it to, to give me any sense of what comes next.
Tommy squeezes my hand again. “No, because we won’t be here long, and I want to be stone-cold sober for whatever comes later tonight…with you.”If that is what comes next, I’m all for it.
He says the right things. He hasn’t messed up with his words or actions once. The perfection is unnerving. He has to guess that I’m feeling insecure right now. He introduces me to an older couple after he hugs them. Dani’s parents, Christi and Gregory. They look at him with equal parts wistful sadness and overflowing pride. Their love for him is obvious. The second their eyes land on me, I feel the pang of regret oozing from their bodies. It’s pity, but it’s also disgusted confusion. “It’s wonderful to meet you both. This party is perfect.”
Christi clears her throat and extends her hand first. Then Greg. Don’t get me wrong, they are the picture of Southern manners with their kind words and gracious actions, but there’s an undercurrent of tension in every movement and breath, every word. “Oh darling, aren’t you the prettiest thing? We were hoping Tommy here would bring someone special. We know it’s extenuating circumstances and appreciate you making the effort,” Greg says to both of us—his blue gaze darting between us evenly. “You’ve been in our lives for as long as we can remember. It wouldn’t feel right without you here to celebrate.” I hear what he didn’t say—it would feel right if he was here, and he was the groom. I wonder how much her parents know. Did Dani lie to them about what took place during the breakup? It was such a personal reason that I can’t even fathom having that conversation with my own parents. Hey, Ma and Pa, we fucked before marriage, and it ruined everything.
“We just wanted to stop by and say hello,” Tommy explains. “Taking Margo over to the Bouncing Bull. I wanted to show her all the hot spots during our quick visit to town. I had some ranch business to attend to as well. My parents send their well wishes, too. They plan to stop by later.”
I smile, grateful for him already granting us an out even if it means it’s for something called the Bouncing freaking Bull. He lets go of my hand and wraps an arm around my shoulder. Christi winces like his touch on my body is painful for her witness. “Excuse us, I promised my lady a drink,” Tommy says, twisting his head to speak over his shoulder. “Congratulations. I mean it.” Taking us to the bar, we exit the single most odd encounter I’ve experienced.Those were for all intents and purposes his future in-laws.
“I haven’t spoken to them in a while. Wasn’t as weird as I thought it would be, though she looked pretty uncomfortable looking at us together.” He orders a drink from a bartender at a fancy bar draping in pink and yellow flowers. The swath of flowers covers the entirety of the wood. The whole area looks like something out of a fairy tale movie where you’re certain AI is being used because nothing is ever this perfect.
I swallow hard. “We are drinking a bit then? Do they wish it was you today?” To me it was obvious, but I want to know what he thinks. “Instead of him?”
He shrugs. “Just one so we blend in with this crowd. It doesn’t matter what they wish. I, for one, am wishing for nothing but the woman standing next to me to stay with me after I dragged her into this hellscape.”
I smile and sip the champagne as we linger near the bar. “This is the furthest thing from hell,” I whisper. “It’s more like heaven. It smells like expensive flowers and happily ever afters. Look around,” I say, gesturing to the lavish setup. “This is the most stunning party I’ve ever been to. Maybe the most awkward but also the most beautiful.”
He grabs my elbows so I face him. “It’s just a past, Margo. Like your own past but a little weirder. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I want you. You.” He leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead as he whispers the last word to drive his point home. I feel weak in the knees, which seems like such a cliché thing to say, but he’s achieved the unthinkable. I’m in love with him. After everything Hollis put me through, I did it again. I let my guard down and let him in. “If you like all the expensive flowers and the scent of happily ever afters, I’ll give it to you. Is this what you want?”
It sounded profoundly like a proposal, but I would never respond to it as such. “What do you want?” The old “answer a question with a question” as a delay tactic. Even if it evoked the emotions, this is the last place I want to discuss them.
He smiles at me, a half grin, and it warms me to my core. “I want you to be mine forever, the rest doesn’t matter. Flowers or shit, baby. All I want is forever.”
The lump in my throat grows. Not from dread but from promise. Everything I thought I wanted slipped away, and now I realize why, and I hate that Jeannie told me this would happen, and I didn’t believe her. He’s looking at me in a way that leaks honesty and sincerity.I sip the drink he gave me to clear my head and lean into his embrace. It’s only then that I see that Dani’s parents haven’t stopped watching us, and my heart leaps in fear. They aren’t even trying to disguise their appraisal of our interactions. His mom has tears in her eyes, and I have the answer to my question. I’m the interloper, and they think their daughter is making a mistake. Tommy belongs to them still.
Dani emerges from the cottage-typebuilding with her seemingly much older fiancé, arms linked. There’s a sidewalk that leads down to where the party is congregated. Her bridesmaids toss petals into the air, and she uses her free hand to block her face. Elation, pure and simple, is all I can see. If I knew nothing, I would think this was a lifetime in the making. Maybe that’s how it works. You leave the relationship you think will be forever, and the next one is right, a better fit in ways you didn’t comprehend before. I take another sip, and Tommy tightens his grip on my hand. The future bride and groom mingle with the guests. He doesn’t make a move to get closer even though I see Archie with a group of friends nearby.
“They look happy,” Tommy says, and it feels like a wave of relief follows his words. Maybe he needed to see this for himself because I have to admit, there’s no way I could be at Hollis’s engagement party. I’m not mature enough to torture myself in that way. Or maybe Hollis never meant as much to me as she means to Tommy. I watch Dani for any sign that this is all for show—all in the name of hurting her ex, but there isn’t a tell. We drink and chat as the sun sets.
Other friends and family members come over to chat with us amid the chaos and chatter. There are so many new faces and some I recognize from yesterday, but this is a large party. Archie buzzes by with a bridesmaid on his arm, and Tommy tells him we’re heading out, and I have this moment of bliss where I think we’ll leave without a conversation with Dani, but the devil’s stars align, and I’m privy to the exact moment when the bride’s eyes land on Tommy and then slide over to me. I look away quickly, unable to hold the loaded moment for a second more. The way her beautiful smile fell when she saw him feels like a gunshot. Her fiancé isn’t next to her as she floats toward us. No, toward Tommy.
Dani stops short in front of us. Her perfume smells like gardenias and roses. “You came,” she says, and her tone is steady, with an undercurrent of emotion. “Hi, I’m Dani. So happy you could be here.” Those words were directed at me, but she’s staring at him now—an unflinching adoration beaconing anyone around to recognize it.Her fiancé, Ron, is at the bar with a hoard ofsuits, his groomsmen, clueless about the exchange taking place.The hard exchange. The first interaction since their breakup.
When Dani turns, her long, perfect curls falling back over a shoulder, I swallow hard. She’s stunning, worthy of jealousy from me. “It’s a wonderful party. You look lovely.” My brain wants to say more and keep blabbering about anything and everything, but I hold myself back, thankfully.
“I confess I didn’t think you’d come, Tom-Tom,” Dani purrs, using a nickname I’m sure is meant to drive her position home. Or to make me jealous. Probably both. “I’m glad you did, though.” She swallows. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen your face. Probably the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other in two decades.”
Ah, she’s definitely going the jealousy route. She wants me to know that while I may be by his side now, she had him longer. First. A pissing competition in girl form, except she already knows she’s won.She had his love in all ways, and it was her decision to toss it away. I’m acutely aware there are always two sides to every story, and I don’t know hers. Would I want to if she offered? Probably not.
He tightens his grip around my waist, and I watch the way her lashes flutter as she notices the movement. A momentary short circuit because this is uncharted territory. What must it feel like for Tommy, though? Tommy nods. “It has been a while. That tends to happen when you break up.” An awkward silence pierces the air. She clutches the sides of her dress but doesn’t reply. “Congrats, Dani. I’m happy you found true love. This is exactly the ending you deserve.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she hisses back.
If the ground would cave in right now, I’d be eternally grateful if it swallowed me up while it was at it.
“What do I deserve? Deserve,” she repeats the word like she’s trying to dissect it.
A glance up to Tommy’s face shows neutrality. He curls a brow up in confusion. “A happily ever after. I know that’s what you’ve always wanted. You deserve it.”
Before she can reply, Ron waltzes, yes waltzes, over, one hand on his heart as I hear the music over my heartbeat for the first time in thirty seconds. “Darling, darling, are you razzle-dazzling our guests?” Oh, this guy is just as smarmy as he looks on the billboards heading into town. “I’m afraid I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you folks. I’m Ron Steelchase.” How in the hell has Ron not even seen a photo of Tommy?Perhaps he’s also playing at neutrality.
I extend my hand to him. “Margo, Tommy’s girlfriend.” Hugging his arm, I lean my head against his bicep. It’s automatic—not even meant as a territorial move. Hell, maybe subconsciously it is, but I’m not claiming it. I’m a girl’s girl. I’ll ask Jeannie what it means later tonight when I unload every detail of this party to her.
I find it telling that Dani doesn’t make a move to introduce the man she was with for basically her entire life, and then I realize she’s still staring at Tommy’s hand on my waist. Ron does his razzle-dazzle-chatting-us-up about his work and the cost of this party and is oblivious to the fact that his beloved hasn’t said a single word. Tommy is amused, and Dani is angry, and I’m left trying to find something in common with a man who has red sausage fingers, delusions of grandeur, and a significant case of halitosis. He is nothing like Tommy, I decide.
Sipping my drink, I nod along, and finally, when I don’t think I can take another second of his voice, Tommy clears his throat. “How did the two of you meet?” he asks. Ron is the kind of person who is so self-involved that even though Dani has mentioned her ex, and I’m sure many details were exchanged about their relationship to get to this point, it doesn’t register. He lacks the common-sense chip. As this unfolds, I promise myself that I will never, even for a moment in time, allow this low of caliber of self-awareness into my body. I was self-sabotaging for a long time after my breakup, but did I let my mind slip this far into oblivion and self-absorption?
“Oh, it was the most romantic meeting in this town’s history, wouldn’t you say, darling?” The way he calls her darling gives me the creeps. It’s like that weird uncle who smells like incense and has a job, but no one truly knows what he does. I also can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or if his voice is just that sardonic. Both, perhaps. I’m intrigued at the least and scared at best.
“We were at the Bouncing Bull,” Ron says, and this start of this story makes me giddy because it’s nothing like I expected. He goes on. “And there Dani was dancing on the bar taking shots with her…other friends.”
I can tell he doesn’t remember the other friends’ names. “Moving and grooving to that catchy country tune, her cowboy boots soaked in Red-Headed Sluts.”
At the mention of a disgusting kind of shot, Tommy laughs. Like an actual laugh. “You were drinking Red-Headed Sluts standing on top of a bar?” It’s far-fetched for Dani, and even I would call that, but Tommy knows the girl intimately and thoroughly. I get the ick, but I’m still intent on the story.
Dani doesn’t reply, but a hint of pink lights her cheeks and nose. Ron continues the most unromantic story I’ve ever heard in my life. “She almost toppled over, and I swooped in and caught her in my arms before the floor did. I was a right fine hero that night, wouldn’t you say, darlin’?”
Dani’s neck works. “That wasn’t the whole story. There were definitely more romantic parts,” she nearly whispers, shame lighting the poor girl on fire. “But you were a hero.” Dani is looking everywhere except at Tommy—you know the real, true hero by the world’s definition. How much more embarrassing could this get? “You caught me in more ways than one.” The last sentence is tacked on to add some modicum of romanticism given the trench she’s currently in. “I like shots now and then,” Dani answers Tommy’s question. “Not everything is the way it used to be or has been, Tommy.” The tone of her voice sends the first warning signal to Ron.
He lifts a brow and tilts his head to see Dani’s face, and when he sees how hot the glare is facing Tommy he finally evaluates the situation. “Oh, are you that Tommy? The ex? Tommy Towne?” Ron says. He has the good sense to look a bit sheepish. “Why didn’t you introduce him as such, honeybee?” It’s all disingenuous. The nicknames. The uncomfortable way he looks at his fiancée and back to Tommy. This shithead knew exactly who Tommy was the second he walked into the room. I’d bet my life on it.
Tommy replies when Dani doesn’t. “I mean I’m sure there are tons of folks named Tommy in Dani’s life. Three off the top of my head since kinder.” Tommy’s smile is wide and sarcastic, but he’s trying to fix an impossibly awkward situation. “It was nice to meet you, Ron. I wish you both the best of luck in the future.” Ron’s glare cuts from Tommy to me, and there’s something sinister there.
I swallow hard when I realize how many people are staring at us, and I know what it must look like. I take Tommy’s hand when he grasps for mine, and I echo his sentiment. “I’m so glad to meet you. You two look perfect together. Thank you for inviting us to your party. Congratulations.” I stutter a bit on the last word because Dani is beet red and looks like she’s going to rocket into space propelled by embarrassment alone.
Tommy subtlety waves to Dani’s parents because they’ve been leering the entire exchange, along with the entire party, shakes hands briefly with a few friends, and finally, we end up ensconced in the rental car. Both of us remain silent but for breathing. A beat or two later, Tommy says, “Thank you for coming to that with me. I don’t think I could have done it without you. I mean that, although it wasn’t hard at all, having you there made everything tolerable.”
I nod, still catching my breath and dissecting what took place. “Why do you think that was?” I hate that I sound like Jeannie. “How did I make it better? I definitely added drama for the rest of the guests, but better?”
“I asked you to be my fake date when we first decided to do this, and I don’t want you to think that you were just a warm body, so I wasn’t viewed as the lonely bachelor watching the love of his life marry someone else. Not now.” He puts a hand on my thigh as he pulls onto the main road. “It was tolerable because I’m not afraid that you and I won’t work. You aren’t a random date or a rebound in any way, shape, or form. You fit me better than she did, Margo. In some ways, it was more than tolerable, it was pleasant. Just at a party with my girl.”
I close my eyes when I remember Dani’s parents and the looks on their faces as they analyzed me and him and us together. “I don’t think it was pleasant for most people there.”
“It’s a damn good thing I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”
Sighing, I lay my hand on top of his. “Which is a great thing, but I don’t think Ron is going to recover from this evening.” I pause, considering how much I want to discuss and bring to the surface. “It wasn’t hard seeing Dani? After not seeing her since the breakup?”
“No,” he says. “That’s why it was pleasant. I expected old feelings to be drudged up by the mere sight of her, but it was like looking at a photo in a yearbook. Memories, but not feelings. Now,” Tommy says, with an exaggerated flair. “When I look at you, it’s nothing but feelings.”
“And forever,” I add, satisfied with his confessions. He’s healed, and there’s no gaslighting or manipulation happening. There’s no reason to lie. Everything is out there and on the line.
“And ever,” he adds. “You ready to ride?”
My stomach flips and my core tightens. Tommy pulls into a dusty, car-lined parking lot on the side of the road. “Oh,” I whisper, when the neon orange sign, blinking from overuse, catches my eyes. “The Bouncing Bull.”
“The one and only. Did you think that was a ruse?”
I laugh in response, then prepare for the famed locale. “No just hoping to ride something else,” I tease.
Tommy has the audacity to blush—cheeks flush and dimples popping as he opens the door for me. “Well, ma’am, we’ll see if we can do something about that later on.” He even had the forethought to bring a pair of jean shorts and a top for me to change into because serious bull riding business is about to be had.
Everything in my body buzzes with excitement as I lock my arm in his and enter the bar.