Chapter 9
Gwen: I feel so guilty Jack. I feel like this is all my fault because of how I treated you last weekend.
Jack: This is not just about what you said to me last weekend, it is also how you said it to me. Like you were looking down on me. Like you were so superior to me.
Gwen: I’m so sorry Jack. I never meant to make you feel that way.
Jack: You never understood that I love writing just as much as you love being a professor. Not once did you celebrate any of my accomplishments.
Gwen: Please forgive me Jack.
Jack: To be honest, we were both miserable with each other. I saw more joy on your face tonight while you were with Paul than I have ever seen with you.
Jack: THAT is what you should pursue! You deserve to be happy and be with someone you connect with.
Jack: I didn’t know that I could be happy until I cheated with Willow last Saturday while you were lost in your chess game with Paul.
Gwen: You…cheated?
Jack: Yes. We fucked in the bathroom and it was the first time in years that I felt desired. It was the first time in years that I felt wanted. It was the first time in years that I felt like a man again.
Jack: I felt deeply guilty inside at first. Until you lambasted me with how much better my brother is. How much more mature. How much more grounded. Those words were a slap in my face and it evaporated any guilt I felt inside.
Gwen: I never realized how those words could be misunderstood.
Jack: MISUNDERSTOOD? See? This is exactly how your apologies always go! You always include a disclaimer that makes everything my fault. But of course. I am second class so everything is always MY misunderstanding.
Jack: Please! Don’t say anything more. I want you to move on and have a happy life. If you end up staying with my brother for good, he will always be my brother so we will still have contact with each other.
Jack: Just let everything go. Forget any guilt. Forget any apologies. Just go and live a happy life and we can be friends when I visit my brother.
Gwen: I guess I see what you are saying. I will try this out for three months. Maybe this can work out.
Willow and I cuddle for a bit before we fell asleep. “I can’t believe you told her we fucked in the bathroom,” Willow chuckled. “Yeah, I wanted her to get over her guilt so she can start to move on.
“But that means that your brother now knows that you fucked me at his own house,” Willow said. “Yeah? Well I meant what I said about them having an intellectual affair. They have been tap dancing around an affair for quite some time,” I pointed out.
“Besides, it doesn’t really matter anymore because I have taken you as my own! If he can’t live with that, then I guess we’ll be estranged brothers because you are mine now!