Chapter 11
Chapter
Eleven
NOW
I t was pouring, and there was no indication that would change anytime soon. While they could still head to the campsite they'd booked and hope things cleared up, Aiden recognized a lost cause when he saw one.
Zayn looked out of their apartment window and sighed before walking over to the couch and slumping down next to Aiden. When they were this close, it was impossible not to breathe him in, not to notice the heavenly combination of their scents on Zayn’s skin.
“It should never be allowed to rain at night,” Zayn said.
“I’d bet most people prefer it this way.”
Zayn huffed. “Most people probably don’t know there was a Kp8-level coronal mass ejection yesterday, and between that and the new moon, tonight should have been optimal viewing for aurorae.”
“They probably don’t.” Aiden bit back a grin. It would have been amazing to do their usual routine of staying up all night, basking in the glow of the stars. Though that was more Zayn’s routine. Aiden often got distracted by other beautiful sights.
But maybe this was a sign. He’d been trying to find the courage to talk to Zayn, and now they had nothing to do for the night. It was time to get his shit together and tell Zayn. Though, after multiple days of brainstorming, he still only had one idea of how to approach the subject, as ridiculous as it was.
If this went poorly, he was blaming Bram. But he knew Zayn was observationally oriented. He’d never believe Aiden if he were to casually say, “Hey, so, funny story. I’m a werewolf.” He’d need proof.
Aiden let out an unsteady exhale, and Zayn raised an eyebrow at him.
“So…” Nervous sweat prickled on Aiden’s neck. “You know that toy you got sent?”
“I am quite familiar with Mr. Knotz, yes.”
Aiden was not going to growl over a toy. He exhaled again. “I, uh, found something related you might like.”
Zayn’s eyebrows rose even higher.
God, this was the worst idea ever. Aiden took out his laptop and navigated through his bookmarks to the links he’d saved in case he ended up doing this extremely ill-advised thing.
“You have a miscellaneous folder inside a miscellaneous folder inside a different miscellaneous folder? Are you about to show me porn?”
“Um.” Well, what had he expected? Zayn was a genius, after all.
“Was a taxes folder not obvious enough for—” Zayn cut himself off as the site loaded. He sat up straighter, his gaze flickering to Aiden before returning to the screen. “MateHub? Their site is online? I keep checking, but nothing comes up.”
“Yeah, there’s a reason for that. It’s… paywalled, among other protections. I’ll explain in a minute. But first, here’s their merch shop.”
He held out the laptop, and Zayn’s eyes widened to an extent that would have been comical if Aiden weren’t five seconds away from a panic attack.
“Mr. Knotz! Number one bestseller. I knew it. But what is this? ‘See the whole Shifter Line’?” He reached over and clicked the banner. “Wolf and canine shifters, feline shifters, bear shifters. What are shifters? Do they all change somehow? Like the knot? Is that shifting? Oh. Hello, Mr. Shark Shifter. Wait. These are on sale already? Can I order them? My viewers are going to love these.”
Aiden couldn’t keep his nerves out of his voice as he answered. “Right. That’s the thing. Most of your viewers can’t… love them.”
“Why not?” Zayn shot him a confused look.
“Let me show you the inspiration for Mr. Knotz.”
“I mean, I’m not a zoology major, but I can guess, and I’m not interested in seeing that.”
“I think you will be.” Aiden’s chuckle sounded strained to his own ears, but he clicked on the video he’d bookmarked. It was easy to find the time stamp he was looking for—the most watched part.
“ Oh . You really are showing me porn,” Zayn said, a hint of breathiness to his words.
Aiden was fairly certain his lungs had stopped working as he hit play. Lewd moans and the slick slap of skin against skin filled the room.
Zayn glanced at him again, then back to the screen where the camera was zooming in for a nice close-up as Richard Knotz started to demonstrate why he was a legend, his knot swelling, his thrusts becoming more forceful to fuck it in and out of his co-star. Aiden saw the exact moment Zayn registered what was happening.
“Wha—?” Zayn cut himself off, his mouth falling open, his brow furrowing. He narrowed his eyes at the screen and leaned in. “Is that…? How are they…? Wait. Is that a cock sleeve? Do they sell that? Can I get one?” He tilted his head. “But it’s so seamless. That can’t be it. Is it CGI? No. There’s no way. It’s too realistic.” His gaze stayed trained on the video, like if he stared hard enough, it’d make sense to him.
On screen, Richard thrust in a final time, his knot fully expanding, locking him inside his co-star. He started to grind instead, his co-star shaking, nearly sobbing with ecstasy as he writhed, his hands tugging on Richard, trying to pull him closer, but Richard kept enough space between them to ensure the cameras could get the shots they needed.
Zayn wet his lips, then swallowed audibly.
Fuck, he smelled turned on. It took all of Aiden’s willpower not to lean in and drown himself in Zayn’s scent on an average day, but like this, Zayn stirred instincts in him he couldn’t deny.
Usually on new moons, his wolf was at its quietest, but not tonight, not with Zayn smelling like that over the idea of being knotted. His wolf rumbled, the sound resounding in Aiden’s chest. Zayn’s head whipped toward him.
Aiden felt his wolf surge forward, just below the surface, wanting everything Aiden’s strange human sensibilities had denied them for years.
Zayn flinched. “Your eyes. They flashed…” His breathing accelerated as his gaze jumped between Aiden and the laptop, a high-pitched note of something in his tone—not panic, but close. “Aiden, what’s a shifter?”
Pausing the video, Aiden set the laptop aside. “The top? His name is Richard Knotz. He’s a wolf shifter. It means he can…” He took a deep breath, then rushed forward. “He can transform into a wolf.”
“Like… a werewolf?”
“Kind of. Except we have control over it.”
“ We ?”
“Yeah. We.” Aiden tried to smile reassuringly, but he didn’t need a mirror to know it was a painfully awkward expression.
Zayn sat, blinking rapidly. “You. You can transform into a wolf?”
“I can show you, but please don’t freak out?”
Zayn nodded numbly, and Aiden stood, stripping off his shirt, then unbuttoning his jeans.
“What… what are you… why?” Zayn asked, his eyes latching onto Aiden’s hands as they eased down his zipper.
“Clothes don’t shift with us.”
“Oh. Oh, yeah. Of course. That’s… logical?” He didn’t look away when Aiden pushed down his jeans.
Aiden had never been shy about being naked—very few shifters were—but having Zayn watch him strip made him feel clumsy as he stepped out of his boxer briefs. Though with Zayn’s attention on him, on his body, he also wanted to stay in this form, standing there until Zayn had looked his fill.
But he had to do this.
“Zayn,” he said gently, and Zayn’s eyes darted up to meet his. “Before I shift, I need you to know I would never hurt you. Whatever form I’m in, you’re safe.”
“I know.” Zayn sounded like he meant it. Whether or not he’d still feel that way when Aiden was a wolf remained to be seen.
Aiden gave himself over to the shift, letting the pleasure and pain of it ripple through his body, keeping his gaze locked on Zayn as much as he could during the transformation.
To his credit, Zayn didn’t completely freak out, though he did pull back when Aiden took a cautious step toward him.
Zayn inhaled sharply. “You’re insanely strong. You see better in the dark than any human should. You’re always gone on the full moon.”
Aiden dipped his head in acknowledgment, taking another step forward when Zayn reached out a shaky hand.
Zayn’s laughter was equally unsteady. “I thought I was going crazy over the last few years because I’d have these moments when I’d think I was imagining the things I’ve seen you do. My brain kept trying to tell me something about you didn’t add up, but I figured that was insane. It wasn’t logical.” He brushed tentative fingers against Aiden’s fur.
Aiden forced himself to stay still, to not lean into that touch, no matter how tempting it was.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He couldn’t answer that in this form, so he shifted back to human, now kneeling in front of Zayn.
“Does that hurt?”
“A little. But it also feels amazing.” He paused, looking up at Zayn, then answered his other question. “I’m sorry. We rarely tell humans. Keeping this secret is drilled into us from birth. It has to be secret for us to be safe.”
Zayn gave a slow nod. “So why are you telling me now?”
“That toy? It never should have been sent to you. The reason you couldn’t find the MateHub website is because only people who are aware of the supernatural can access it. It’s protected by magic so humans can’t find it.”
“Magic? Does that mean there are… wizards? Witches?”
“Mages, but yes.”
“ Mages .” He sat for a minute, eyes unfocused as he tried to process that. “Wait. Bram? Is he a shifter too? Or a mage?”
“No. He’s…” Aiden laughed nervously. “He’s a vampire.”
“A vampire . Vampires are real?”
“Yes. And some others too, like incubi and fae.”
“Oh. I suppose, with a name like Bram, I should have guessed.”
Aiden snorted. “His full name is Abraham, but his parents are absolute menaces. They named their kids after famous authors of vampire fiction. Abraham, Sheridan, Anne, Stephen. When Bram complained about their names, they told him he should be glad they didn’t go with their first choices, which were Vlad, Lestat, Carmilla, and Orlok.”
“They’re all vampires?”
“Yeah. Generally speaking, being a vampire is a family thing, like being a shifter.”
“Right. Of course.” Zayn sounded a bit faint.
“You’re freaking out, aren’t you?”
“Just… just a little. I mean, it’s not every day you find life outside the world you live in. I’ve always wanted to discover extraterrestrial life. Discovering extra terrestrial life hadn’t even crossed my mind.”
Aiden couldn’t help but grin. Leave it to Zayn to make an exoplanet joke while he was shell-shocked.
“Could you…” Zayn’s gaze traveled down Aiden’s body, then jerked back up. “I can’t believe I’m about to ask this, but could you put your clothes on, please?”
Oh, oops. He was still naked. “Sorry.”
Zayn shook his head, but he did seem to focus better after Aiden was dressed and sitting on the couch with him again.
“Okay. So, the toy. One of my viewers sent it, which means they’re a shifter or something?”
“We think so.”
“Will they get in trouble?”
“If they’re found? Probably. It was reckless of them to send it to you.”
“But it’s okay for you to tell me?”
“In this particular case, yes. I’ve gotten permission. But I need you to promise not to tell anyone.”
“Absolutely. I understand why you have to keep it secret, and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
Aiden hadn’t honestly believed Zayn would expose them, but it was a relief to hear him say it.
“This is why you’re never around on the full moon?”
“Yeah. On full moons, we tend to look less human. It’s harder to hide, harder to control our instincts. It’s too far to go home every month, but there’s a local pack I’m, like, a temporary member of. I run with them on those nights. It helps soothe my wolf’s need to be around pack.”
Zayn’s eyes caught on the laptop. “And… knotting?”
“Yeah. For wolf and other canine shifters.”
“So you have…?”
“Not exactly. Not yet, at least.”
“Not yet?”
Aiden forced out an exhale. Okay. Here it was. The most nerve-racking part. “We only have knots after we bond a mate.” He already saw the questions forming in Zayn’s mind, so he continued. “Bonding is sort of the shifter version of marriage. The shifter bites their mate, and a connection forms between them, an emotional link that lets you feel your mate, and lets them feel you in return. It’s supposed to be intense.”
Zayn frowned at the laptop. “That was Richard Knotz and his mate?”
“Ah. That’s complicated. Richard Knotz is a special case. He bonds co-stars for his scenes so he can knot them. Most shifters could never do what he does. Normally, you bond after you find a compatible mate.”
“Compatible? As in, you get along well? But it doesn’t seem like you’re using the human meaning of the word.”
“I’m not. It’s similar, but for us, there’s more to it. It’s in our scents. Every shifter, every mage, every human, we all have unique scents. When two people are truly compatible, their scents combine in a way that’s more than the sum of their parts. Both complete on their own, but infinitely better together.”
“Binary stars that balance each other with their gravitational pull?”
Aiden nodded and steeled himself. “We don’t tell humans this. If a human finds out, a mage makes them forget about it.”
“That guy from MateHub? Tristan?”
“Yeah.”
“He’s going to make me forget this?” Zayn’s expression was upset enough that it made Aiden hurry on.
“The only humans who are ever told, the only time permission is ever given to tell a human, is when a shifter is compatible with them. When the shifter thinks they could be their mate.” He swallowed the lump in his throat and watched the realization dawn on Zayn’s face.
“Me? You think I could be your… mate?”
“Not think . I know you could be. If you wanted to be.”
“We smell good together?”
“You’re all honey and an early fall breeze rustling through leaves, and I’m sort of warm spices and the harvest moon, and together, we combine into a scent better than anything I’ve ever smelled before.”
Zayn stared at him, more than a little stunned.
“It’s a lot, and you don’t have to decide now—”
But Zayn was shaking his head. “No. I mean, yeah, it’s a lot. I have so many questions, and I’m not sure I understand this whole bonding thing, but I want to be with you. I’ve been trying not to fall in love with you since you talked about exoplanets on move-in day, and I think I gave up even trying sometime during our sophomore year. Maybe I can’t tell what we smell like, but I don’t need to. I know we’d be perfect together. So bite me, bond me, knot me, whatever you want to do to me. I’m yours.”
Relief washed over Aiden, but there was one more thing he needed confirmation on. “I know the answer is no, and I hate that I’m asking this, but it’s not because I have… Well, you really like that toy.”
Zayn shook his head again. “We could spend the rest of our lives with me topping you, or us never doing that at all, and I would be okay with it. I mean, I do prefer to bottom, and I’d be using the hell out of Mr. Knotz, but I don’t care as long as I’m with you. Whatever that entails. Knot or, well… not.”
Aiden felt himself grinning. “Same. I’ve wanted to be with you forever, but I wasn’t sure how to tell you about this. I was worried it’d freak you out. That I might lose you as a friend. And I’d rather love you from afar and pine after you for the rest of my life than do that.”
“We’re idiots, aren’t we?”
No one in their right mind would call Zayn that. Aiden, on the other hand, was fully deserving of that label, but he was going to fix that.
He brushed his fingers along Zayn’s cheek, grazing skin he’d longed to touch for years. “Can I kiss you?”
A smile played at the corner of Zayn’s mouth, desire kindling in his eyes, and he nodded, sending a jolt of anticipation through Aiden.
Aiden’s fingers stilled, his hand shaking slightly as he hesitated, but then Zayn was leaning in, and Aiden forgot how to breathe. His heart pounded as Zayn’s lips hovered close to his. He’d lost count of the fantasies he’d had about doing this.
“I’ve always thought,” Zayn said, the words a whisper of breath against Aiden’s skin, “that you have this special kind of gravity. It’s so much stronger than any formula or theorem could ever account for. The way I’m drawn to you… it’s inescapable, inevitable.”
That resonated deep in Aiden’s soul. “I thought us being together was impossible, but after all the time I’ve spent staring up at the night sky, I should have known. With all the planets and galaxies in the universe, with all the infinite number of iterations that exist, the impossible can happen when the right stars align.” He closed the last fraction of distance between them, his eyelids fluttering shut as their lips met.
It was sweet and gentle, an exploration, a promise fulfilled, but that delicate touch left Aiden breathless, electricity sparking through his veins as Zayn moved in closer, settling into his lap. He let Zayn have control, let him tip his head back and deepen the kiss. If he’d thought Zayn smelled good, it was nothing compared to how he felt, how he tasted.
He could search the cosmos until the stars went dark, but he’d never find something as extraordinary as this, as them together.
A pleased rumble built in Aiden’s chest, his hands gripping Zayn’s hips tighter, and Zayn gasped into his mouth, breaking apart to ask, “What do you like?”
Aiden froze, causing Zayn to pull away farther—the opposite of what he wanted.
“I… don’t know?” Aiden said, answering the question in Zayn’s gaze.
Zayn frowned. “You don’t know what you like?”
“Ah.” Aiden was back to chuckling awkwardly. “I’ve never done more than this.” And even this he hadn’t done often.
“But you’re… Have you seen yourself? Don’t people throw themselves at you?”
Aiden shrugged. “In high school I messed around with a friend a few times. And I did try during our freshman year, but it was never what I actually wanted. It never felt right, especially when I couldn’t stop thinking about you, no matter who I was with.”
“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t know. I mean, obviously. If I’d known…”
Aiden shook his head. “Seeing you with other people, smelling them on you, hurt. But it’s not a bad thing one of us knows what the hell we’re doing.”
As much as each new boyfriend had stung, Aiden had loved watching Zayn find himself, growing from the timid boy who had walked into their dorm room to the gorgeous, confident person he was now.
“Well,” Zayn said, smiling. “In that case, some thorough experimentation is in order.”
Aiden returned the grin. Yes. Yes, it was.
Zayn slid off his lap and lay back on the couch, his hand twisted in Aiden’s shirt. “Okay, first experiment. Let’s start where most people likely start. The wonderful force that is friction.”
Aiden let himself be pulled down onto Zayn, settling between his legs, the thrill of it singing in his blood. He’d already been hard from their kisses, but this, having Zayn under him, pressed against him, was the most turned on he’d ever been.
He braced himself on his forearms, but that wasn’t close enough for either of them. Zayn wrapped his arms and legs around Aiden, tugging him closer until their whole bodies were flush against each other.
Their lips met again, and Aiden’s thoughts scattered like light hitting Earth’s atmosphere—dazzling and fragmented and incandescent from all the sensations rushing through him.
“Do whatever feels good.” Zayn’s grip tightened on his shoulders.
Aiden leaned down, nuzzling into Zayn’s neck, lost in the scent of him, the honeyed arousal that made his canines ache to drop, to bite, to claim. Zayn shivered, a tiny gasp escaping him as Aiden’s blunt teeth grazed his skin.
How many times had he imagined Zayn making sounds like that for him?
He rocked against Zayn, their hard lengths pressing together, far too many layers of clothes between them, but still so, so good. The friction set him ablaze with heat, alight with a fire of want and need so bright and scorching it threatened to consume every molecule of his being.
No two bodies, celestial or otherwise, fit together as perfectly as this. Zayn clung to him, moving with him, letting out breathy moans with each roll of Aiden’s hips.
Aiden groaned, the sensation almost too intense. He wanted Zayn’s skin against his, but he couldn’t pull away to make that happen. Rutting against Zayn filled him with a heady pleasure, the grind of their hips too intoxicating to stop.
“You feel so good.” Zayn’s voice trembled as he panted against Aiden’s ear. “I can’t wait to feel you in me, bonding me, knotting me.”
Aiden rocked into him harder, his pace building to an urgent rhythm that matched the pounding of his heart, the rushing of blood in his ears.
The universe collapsed under the immense gravity between them, pressure coiling deep in Aiden until he was strung so tight there was nothing left but for him to explode. He cried out, his hips jerking as he fell apart, as shock waves of energy pulsed through him. As Zayn’s scent and taste and touch made him feel like they could outshine entire galaxies when they were together.
He sank down next to Zayn, his breathing rough. Even though they hadn’t bonded yet, it felt like the fundamental elements of his being were rearranging themselves, like some part of him was giving itself to Zayn until they were an inseparable whole.
Aiden smiled into the crook of Zayn’s neck, inhaling him like oxygen until Zayn shifted, turning his head to look at him. Aiden brushed his thumb over his lips, then pulled him in for a kiss. It was equal parts sweet and gentle, passionate and intense, full of affection and desire.
Zayn’s hips flexed against his thigh, the insistent press of his dick unmistakable. Aiden glanced down, then back at Zayn. “Can I…?”
“Yes. Anything you want, yes.”
Aiden palmed him through his jeans, watching Zayn’s eyes slide shut as he bit his lip, though that didn’t stop his groan.
Taking someone else out of their pants was both awkward and thrilling, but the hot weight of Zayn in his hand felt right in ways he’d never be able to properly describe.
Aiden hesitated for a moment, then ran his fingers over Zayn’s shaft, feeling the silky skin and the hardness beneath. His first few pulls were tentative, but Zayn bucked into the touch, his breath hitching, and Aiden realized he knew this. He knew Zayn’s body, knew what he liked, the rhythm he used when he was about to come. It wasn’t difficult for him to match, not when every stroke was earning him desperate moans, Zayn clinging to him as he got closer and closer to the edge. He writhed against Aiden, his cries choking off as he came, splattering Aiden’s hand with his release, and Aiden worked him through it until Zayn was softening in his grip.
They lay there in the afterglow, the blissed-out expression on Zayn’s face more than Aiden could have ever asked for, the knowledge that he’d done that to Zayn, that he’d made him come, impossibly sweet. His wolf was a contented warmth in his chest. It still wanted more, but it was satisfied for now.
“God,” Zayn said, his voice rough, “that was exactly how I jerk myself off.”
“Ah, I know,” Aiden admitted, letting out a nervous gust of laughter.
Zayn peeled his eyes open and looked at him.
“I, uh, have a membership to your site. And have watched your reviews. Every single one. I’ve probably gotten off to them more than I have to MateHub.”
The smile Zayn gave him was brighter than anything Aiden had ever seen.
“Really? Because I think about you pretty much every time I film, maybe with the exception of the weird tentacle toys. For those, I’m mainly thinking, ‘Why did someone make this?’”
He’d never seemed to be a fan of those.
“So, findings of the initial experiment? Objectives achieved and positive, replicable results yielded?” Zayn asked.
Aiden snorted. “I’d call it a resounding success. Hypothesis thoroughly supported and outcomes significantly better than predicted.”
“Thoughts on what additional experiments you’d like to carry out?”
“Is ‘all of them’ an option?”
“Absolutely. And I have some toys you can try too, if you want.” Aiden’s eyes went wide, but Zayn continued quickly. “ Beginner toys. We can go from there if you like them. I’m not expecting you to ride Mr. Knotz right out of the gate.”
Oh, thank god.
“Though,” Zayn said, “I’m just going to float this. If you do end up liking it, the idea of you with a toy knotted inside you while you knot me? Ridiculously hot.”
Aiden shivered at the thought. It wasn’t even remotely unappealing. “I’m not saying no, but when we’re bonded, we’ll each sense what the other is experiencing. So if I knot you, I’ll feel what you’re feeling, with or without the toy.”
“And I’ll feel it from your side too?”
“Yeah.”
Zayn’s eyes darkened. “We should do that.”
Aiden couldn’t have agreed more. Maybe a few experiments before then, but they definitely should.
He shifted his weight on the couch, then grimaced, the cooling mess in his pants reminding him of the results of their experiment.
“Cleanup time?” Zayn asked.
“Yes, and maybe future experiments could involve less of me coming in my underwear?”
“That, we can do,” Zayn said, his words filled with promise. “I can suggest a place or two I’d rather have you come in next time.” He ran a finger across his bottom lip.
Aiden let out a shuddering breath, unable to look away from his mouth. If Zayn kept doing things like that, next time wouldn’t be too far off.
They hauled each other up from the couch and headed to the bathroom. Cleaning up involved more making out than Aiden would have imagined, and when they were finished, Zayn led him to his room, to his bed.
The heavy rain outside pounded against the roof, the steady sound lulling them to sleep. As Aiden drifted off with Zayn tucked against his chest, all he could think was that if every overcast night were like this, he wouldn’t care if he never got to see the stars again.