Chapter 14
THEN
October, Junior Year
T he world was pleasantly fuzzy as Zayn swayed his way home. He wasn’t drunk, not completely, but he was also far enough from sober that he was glad he could walk to his apartment.
One of the things that had surprised him the most about college was how wild the Astronomy Club’s parties got.
When he opened the apartment door, he blinked owlishly to find Aiden sitting in their living room. Aiden had been gone the night before—it’d been a full moon, after all—and he hadn’t returned by the time Zayn had left for the day.
Zayn wandered over to the couch and plopped down on it, grinning at Aiden. “You’re here. But of course you’d be here. Unlike last night, when you weren’t here, you know? But it’s okay. You were doing your thing.”
“My thing?” The question came out like a squeak.
Zayn nodded solemnly. “The moonlit orgies. I figured it out. But I understand it’s a secret.”
Aiden looked beyond confused. “I’m not having moonlit orgies. Or any orgies.”
“Right. Uh-huh.” Zayn winked at him. “But I won’t tell anyone. I’m very good at keeping secrets. I mean, I’ve been keeping a secret from you for so long. You don’t even know that I—” Zayn cut himself off, his brain screeching to a halt when he realized what he was about to say.
Oh, shit. Abort. Not good.
He couldn’t do this. Aiden was still out of his league, as evidenced by his monthly moonlit orgies. Zayn didn’t want to mess up their friendship by confessing that .
His mind flailed around frantically as he tried to come up with a way to finish his sentence without incriminating himself. He blurted out the first thing that popped into his head. “I have a site where I review sex toys.”
Zayn winced. Admitting that wasn’t much better. It might have been worse.
“What?” Aiden asked, his voice cracking on the word.
Cringing, Zayn said, “Uh, yeah. In May, I started a blog to post reviews of various toys. I called it InZayn Reviews. Like insane, but also, in Zayn . And um, a couple of months ago, I began to… post video reviews.”
“Videos of you talking about the toys?”
“Um. Videos of me using the toys. For my reviews.”
“Oh. Oh .” Aiden stared at him with wide eyes. “You put videos of yourself doing that on the internet?”
Zayn shook his head. “No. Well, yes, but they’re behind a paywall.”
“A paywall. Oh. That’s… smart.” Aiden swallowed.
“Yeah, my site has been getting pretty popular. I’m making good money from it now, and it’s kind of fun. It was a little strange at first to film myself, but once I got used to it, I started to enjoy it. Like, really enjoy it, and other people like it too.”
Zayn let out a relieved exhale. It felt better to have that off his chest. He hadn’t told anyone, and not telling Aiden had been driving him crazy. He told Aiden everything.
Okay, almost everything. There was one secret he’d be keeping to himself for sure, but he was happy he didn’t need to hide this anymore. He’d be able to talk about it to Aiden now; he wouldn’t have to lie about the fact that he was suddenly not broke, or invent any more lame excuses for what was in all the discreet packages he’d been receiving.
“I… I’m glad you’re… enjoying yourself.” Aiden looked flustered, a hint of heat in his cheeks.
Maybe Zayn was imagining it, but he swore Aiden’s breathing was faster. Though that was probably the alcohol talking, impairing his judgment. It was certainly responsible for his next question, something he never would have asked if he were entirely sober.
“Do you want to see my site?” Zayn felt foolishly hopeful as he searched Aiden’s face, but Aiden quickly shook his head.
“Oh, no. We’re… friends. It’d be weird, right?”
Zayn held back a wince. “Right. Friends wouldn’t watch each other do that.”
“Well,” Aiden said, standing up and looking around the room like he’d never seen it before. His eyes locked on the door to his bedroom. “It’s late. I should… Yeah, I should go to bed.” He took a few steps in that direction, froze, then spun around and grabbed his laptop before making a beeline to his room.
Aiden’s door shut with a decisive click, and Zayn stared at it for a long moment.
Of course Aiden wouldn’t want to watch his reviews. That was fine. Other people did, and maybe someday, Zayn would find someone even half as attractive as Aiden. Stranger things had happened. And until then, he had plenty of toys to review. Eventually he had to come across one that deserved five stars.