Chapter 10 #2
“No.” He frowned down at the food on his plate. “There is an ingredient in this I can’t quite figure out. Star anise, maybe.
No.” He shook his head and took another mouthful.
“It tastes like—” She broke off as two women walked into the restaurant. Her heart pounded as she saw the blonde hair. “Oh
no—is that? No, it’s not.” She breathed out. “Sorry. For a moment I thought it was Kristina from Guest Services.”
He put his fork down. “And would that really matter?”
“No.” She looked at him. “Yes. Maybe. A little.” It would matter a lot. Particularly if it turned out she liked him as much
as she thought she probably did.
He reached across the table and took her hand, his fingers closing over hers. “Why do you worry so much about other people?
Are you ashamed to be seen with me?”
He was holding her hand. On top of the table. Where anyone and everyone could see.
The seductive stroke of his finger sent electric currents under her skin.
“Ashamed? No! Of course not. You’re smoking hot, you have to know that, I mean part of me wants to draw attention just to make sure everyone has seen who I’m on a date with because it’s good for my credibility—” She saw amusement in his eyes and stopped talking.
“And now I’ve gone too far the other way.
It’s not you, Luca. It’s me. For me, dating hasn’t been a particularly happy experience. It’s complicated, that’s all.”
“We are two people having dinner. How is that complicated?”
His eyes were like rich dark chocolate and the way he was looking at her made it hard to concentrate.
“Right now, it’s not. And maybe this is just dinner, and we’ll enjoy a nice evening and that will be it. Or maybe we’ll decide
we had a good time and we’re going to do it again. Maybe we’ll even manage to find some quiet restaurants, sneak out of a
few windows before dawn and keep it to ourselves. But eventually people will find out and soon it stops being our relationship
and becomes everyone’s relationship. And that changes everything.”
“Why?” He looked puzzled. “It would still be our relationship.”
“It wouldn’t feel that way. People would be telling you every single thing about me.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“If I was trying to impress you, then yes. I’d be working hard to show you only the good things about me, and they’d give
you examples of all the times I’ve messed up. You’d laugh, because there are plenty of examples. They’d take that as encouragement.
Next, they’d be showing you my baby photos—”
“Okay, now I’m interested. Who exactly has these baby photos and how much do I have to pay to see them?”
He had such a great smile. Looking at him made her want to smile too and she realised this was the first time she’d been able
to laugh about it for a long time.
Martin hadn’t found it funny at all, and because he’d been stressed about it, she’d been stressed.
“It doesn’t seem like much, but when you’ve got the whole village watching you, and commenting on your every move, it feels like a lot of pressure.
And when it goes wrong, it can feel awkward.
I get it.” And it wasn’t only dating, of course.
It applied to every area of her life. If she failed at work she’d be letting people down, and these were people she’d known for most of her life.
The pressure felt crushing.
His hand was still on hers. “Who was this man who found it awkward?”
It wasn’t something she talked about. Since it happened, she’d made a point of being her usual smiley self and not sharing
the depth of her pain.
But she hadn’t dated anyone since.
“Martin. We were in the same year at school, so I’d known him for ages before we got together. Which gave them twice as much
to gossip about, of course. I reminded them once that they didn’t need to tell me what age he was when his voice broke because
I was at school with him so I already knew, but they did it anyway. It drove him insane. He found it tougher than I did, probably
because he wasn’t born here. His parents moved here when he was a teenager. It wasn’t a great time,” she admitted. “And if
dating under a microscope is hard, breaking up is even harder. Which is why I prefer to keep things under the radar so that
when it all blows up I don’t have everyone asking me if I’m okay and leaving cakes on my doorstep.”
“Cakes?” He raised an eyebrow. “Were they good cakes?”
She laughed. “Delicious. Okay, maybe I don’t mind the cake part. Especially if it’s chocolate. But I don’t like the scrutiny.
It makes me feel like a failure. Also, these people genuinely love me so when I’m upset, they worry and the fact that they’re
worrying puts more pressure on me to be okay. It’s tiring. Sometimes when life is crappy all you want is to lie in bed with
a box of chocolates and not have half the village hammering on your front door to check you’re not contemplating jumping out
of the window.”
Luca nodded. “Tell me about him.”
“Not much to tell.” She pulled her hand away. Part of her was tempted to shut down the conversation, but another part thought
she might as well be straight with him so that he could walk away now. “We’d known each other since school. We were friends.
I’d always had a thing for him, which unfortunately people noticed because I’m not great at hiding my feelings.”
He smiled. “I like that about you.”
“Really? There are times when I’d like to be better at hiding my feelings. Anyway, according to everyone, we were perfect
for each other. They’d been trying to set us up for ages. And eventually it happened. We dated for a year. Every time we bumped
into someone in the village, it would be the same—winks, knowing smiles, when are you two going to make it official. Martin hated it. He wasn’t used to it, of course. He hadn’t grown up with it. And to be fair it isn’t always easy for outsiders,
and I think that was how he felt. He said it was my fault for being so embedded in the community. He told me I should keep
to myself more.”
“He didn’t just roll his eyes and laugh it off?”
“No. He suggested moving away, but I didn’t want to do that.
My family is here. My whole life.” And yet she was thinking of doing exactly that now.
Moving away. Leaving. “He ended it. And everyone kept asking him why he’d ended it when I’m ‘such a lovely girl’ and he seemed to think I was behind it and that I was turning him into the bad guy and somehow trying to manipulate him into getting back together.
He made a scene in the pub. He’d drunk too much of course, and it was all very upsetting.
People stepped in, because that’s what happens around here.
He resigned from his job the next day and moved to France.
No one has seen Martin since. So you see?
” She looked at him and shrugged. “People have a relationship with me and then they have to blow up their lives and move away. Be warned. Stick around and you might find yourself heading for Argentina.”
The waiter delivered another course and Luca waited until he’d left before speaking.
“And you really think this is why the relationship ended? Because of other people?”
For a while she’d thought that. She’d never really focused on people’s meddling because she’d considered it good-natured and
part of village life, but because Martin was sensitive to it, she became sensitive, too. It had changed her relationship with
people. Before Martin she’d loved being part of the community. She’d seen them as her extended family and he’d tainted that.
He’d made her wary.
She gazed at the tiny pieces of chicken on her plate and then at him. “He didn’t like being in a place where everyone knows
everyone. I was part of that.”
He shook his head. “How could anyone think he was the right person for you?”
She’d thought it.
She’d enjoyed the chemistry, and being in a relationship with someone. She’d focused on what they had in common. She hadn’t
considered their differences. Hadn’t realised they might be an obstacle. She’d had the optimism of youth and the na?ve belief
that love could conquer everything.
Unprepared, she’d been devastated when he’d ended it. And the fact that the whole thing had played out in public had made
it much harder to deal with.
She hadn’t had a relationship since.
Luca was looking at her, waiting, and she realised she hadn’t answered his question.
“Why did they think Martin was the right person? Well, he was single and didn’t have any obviously unfortunate habits.
There is a limited pool to fish in around here.
If you’re single, you get pushed together.
That made him the right person. And it gave everyone a purpose for a while.
They focused their attention on fixing me up with someone else.
” She finished her food. “That was delicious, but nowhere near as delicious as that salmon dish you make with lemongrass and fresh ginger. When you go out to restaurants don’t you ever think I could have cooked better at home? ”
“Sometimes, but not tonight.” His gaze lingered on her face and she put her fork down, her heart thumping.
“What’s different about tonight?”
“The company. I’m not here for the food. I’m here because I want to spend time with you.” He spoke softly. “And I don’t care
who’s watching.” The look in his eyes made her feel breathless.
“Why do you want to spend time with me?”
“Where do I start?” His gaze was warm. “You’re fun. I like you. I’m drawn to your energy and enthusiasm. You’re an all-or-nothing
person. I love the way you look in that hot-pink dress. I love the way you love food.”
She swallowed. “All or nothing?”
“You love something, or you hate it. You feel things deeply. You’re happy or you’re sad. There is no flat middle ground. And
you care about people. You’re loyal. I see it all the time. The way you handle the staff. The way you are flexible when they
have problems. I hear them say ‘talk to Evie, and she will help.’ They’re lucky to have you as a boss, and they know it.”
She shifted uncomfortably. “Because I’m a total pushover.”
He looked at her thoughtfully. “I don’t think that’s it. And I like the way you see solutions, not problems. You have high
standards. If something isn’t right, you try and fix it.”
She thought about all the things she wanted to do with the hotel. “I don’t usually succeed.”
“But you keep trying. You will never be satisfied with mediocre.” He gave a slight shrug.
“I’m the same. I want passionate people in my kitchen.
People who care deeply about what they do, and who want to do it to the best of their ability whether it’s making a complicated sauce or peeling a carrot.
I want the food to be the best it can be.
And I am clear about that with people who work with me.
We have to share the same goal and be going in the same direction.
And it’s my job to be clear about what that direction is. ”
Was she clear about the direction? About her goals for the hotel?
Maybe not.
She thought again about how direct Abby had been in her dealings with Mandy. This is what we want to achieve.
She was far too focused on asking nicely and tiptoeing around people to avoid upsetting someone.
And she realised that she was drawn to Luca not only because he was attractive, or even because he was skilled at what he
did, but because he cared deeply.
He would never be satisfied with mediocre either.
“Is that why you picked this particular restaurant? To check your food is the best in the area?”
“No. I picked this restaurant because I knew that if I booked a table somewhere locally you wouldn’t come.” His gaze was dark
and disturbingly intense. “Would you?”
“Probably not.”
He smiled. “Exactly. And now I understand why. But let me make something clear—wherever this goes, or doesn’t go, the reaction
of people around us will have no impact at all.” He stabbed a piece of chicken with his fork and held it out to her. “Now
stop worrying about everyone else and try this. It’s good and I’d hate you to miss out.”
She leaned forward and ate the food from his fork.
He was right. The chicken was delicious. But so was being with him.
Their conversation felt like foreplay, and she knew that this evening wasn’t going to be a one-off. He would want to see her
again, and she wanted that, too.
And he was right that other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter at all.
Martin had made her feel awful about the way their relationship had played out, as if the curiosity of everyone around them
was somehow her fault. And because he’d blamed her, she’d blamed herself. And she’d blamed the close-knit community she lived
in.
But she could see now that they hadn’t been responsible for the end of her relationship any more than she had.
Her relationship hadn’t ended because everyone in the local community had meddled and interfered. It had ended because Martin
had wanted it to end. And he’d moved away because he’d felt guilty about hurting her.
Why hadn’t she seen that before?
The door to the restaurant opened again but this time she didn’t even glance across to see if it was anyone she knew.
Instead she leaned forward.
“Tell me about your grandmother. And then tell me, in detail, exactly what I have to do to persuade you to hand over that
chicken recipe.”